“Why not wait another year and see if things don’t improve? You have so much time on your hands now, you could start working full-time again, or you could get a second job.”
Georgia leveled her golden eyes at her beautiful daughter. “You’re young. You don’t realize what you’re saying. I’ll be sixty soon. I’m too old to want to work that hard. Especially if it’s just to keep a huge house I’m living in alone.”
Chris surprised her again with a different kind of outburst. “What about the grandchildren?”
“Grandchildren? Honey, none of you is married yet. As far as I know, nobody even has a steady date. I don’t think I should hold on to an expensive piece of real estate on the off chance one of you reaches the point where you can commit to someone and start a family.” They clearly didn’t understand the financial pressure she was under. “Oh boy, now I’m setting the wrong tone. I’m sorry, kids. I sound defensive when what I really feel is worried. All this is my responsibility. I don’t ever want to be a burden on you children. It’s not just paying the taxes and mortgage; it’s heating a five-bedroom home during the long winters. It’s paying for services to mow the big lawn, maintain the pool and the hot tub, and power-wash all the siding. It’s hundreds of expenses that add up quickly. I’m still your mother, and I want you to trust me that the best course of action is for me to get a smaller place with less land. I hope that this will be my last move so I’m also thinking ahead. I want all my living space on one floor.”
Sebastian sniffled again and asked, “Can you give us time to take this in, Mom? I know it’s almost a year since Dad died, but it seems like it happened yesterday. This feels like another blow.”
“Of course, I can, honey. I just didn’t want you to hear about it from someone else. I’ve already looked at nine houses. Also, a friend of mine is exploring the idea of subdividing a lot off his land. I would be right on the water at Millhouse Pond. Building a house is the first possibility that excited me.”
“Really?” Margot asked, intrigued and suddenly quite charmed. “It’s nice out there. We could get a boat and come out to water ski.”
“I’m playing around with ideas for the house. It would be small, but have a big living room and dining room where we could have holidays. I could tailor it to our needs. It would have a huge daylight basement, too, and that could be finished later if I find we need the space. It’s important to me that you all know I am considering my options.”
“All right, “Margot said in an imperious manner. “Thanks for keeping us informed about our changing lives. Can we order now? I’m starving.”
“Yes. Get whatever you want, kids. It’s a late lunch; we won’t need to have dinner. I may have a glass of wine. Anyone else? What looks good?”
While Georgia paid the bill and was waiting to sign her credit card receipt, the kids made their excuses and hugged her goodbye. She sat back down at the table alone after they had all swept out the front door. To pass the time, she reached into her purse and turned on her phone. Georgia was astonished to see she had missed nine text messages.
Nineteen
“Come what come may, time and the hour run through the roughest day.”
—William Shakespeare
Georgia shot home to let Dolly Parton out. She wanted her dog to pee, and then she would go straight to the hospital. Dolly had been alone for several hours already, and after she had done her business, she idled in the yard chewing on grass and waltzing around every inch of her fenced-in area. Georgia tried bribing her back inside with a treat, but Dolly was no fool. Georgia was afraid to leave her outside because Aussies are notorious barkers, and there was no telling how long she would be at the hospital. Her neighbors would be furious if Dolly Parton were left alone to have a barkfest for hours on end. After what seemed like an eternity, the dog finally allowed Georgia to lure her back into the house.
During the thirty-minute trip to the medical center, she zoned out with dread as if she were stoned on something. Although she had made this drive hundreds, if not thousands, of times, there were moments when she didn’t recognize anything around her as being familiar. Her heart raced, and it seemed to take hours. When, at long last, she swerved into a lot and parked her car, she ran as fast as she could to the front desk. “I’m here to see Zelda Simmons. Actually, I’m here because her father asked me to come.”
The old woman behind the desk wore a plastic name tag identifying her as a volunteer. “Simmons. Simmons,” she repeated as she scanned down a list fastened to a clipboard. “She’s in the obstetrical ward. Take the elevator to the third floor and follow the signs. Stop at the nurses’ station. They will show you where friends and family are gathering.”
Linda and Peter were already in the waiting area, and they quickly explained to Georgia what they knew, although it wasn’t much. Linda said, “I have never seen Yvonne like this. She can be a pain in the neck sometimes, but boy, does she own her mistakes. She’s taking full responsibility for what happened. She says that she certainly knows better than to go into a barn screeching at the top of her lungs. Wait until you see her, Georgia. I don’t even know how to describe her demeanor and her attitude right now. She’s . . . Peter, how would you explain it?”
“Resolute. She feels she’s to blame for the injury to Zelda, and she is determined to do whatever it takes to make it right.”
Yvonne and Rolland appeared at one of the open doors into the room. Georgia hugged Yvonne, who looked as if she was in shock. As pale as Yvonne had been when Zelda told her story at the Simmons house, her complexion was now gray. Her eyes and mouth were set in a bewildered, yet careworn, expression. Rolland told them all, “They just asked us to leave Zelda’s room because the doctor came in. God—she’s lost so much blood and she’s so tiny. She looks like a porcelain figurine or a small child lying in that bed. Kenny said he would come out and talk to us when he knows what’s going on. I’m going to get a cup of coffee. Who wants some? A bottle of water? Anything?”
Yvonne collapsed into a chair and put her head down. Georgia sat down next to her and quietly rubbed her lower back with the heel of her right hand. It was a reflexive gesture. Even when she was young and fit, Yvonne had carried her tension in these muscles, and having them massaged gave her great relief. She let out a soft, grateful groan. Eventually, she raised her eyes and spoke to the group at large. “Spencer rode in the ambulance with Zelda, and we drove behind in our car. All of us were together in the hospital room when Kenny walked in. If I had been in his position, I would have slapped me. I would have been outraged by my carelessness. Instead? He was kind. A bit distant, monotone, but very kind.”
“Do you feel like telling us what happened?” Georgia asked. “Only if you want to.”
“After that night at Kenny’s when the kids talked to us, I was terribly upset.”
Georgia touched her arm. “Of course. Any mother would have been.”
“I didn’t sleep at all. When I went into the kitchen the next morning, I looked out the window, and I could see Zelda had shown up for work at the barn. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was as if those two young people didn’t care about the pain they were causing. But I know my son loves me. All day long I waited for Spencer to come over to the house to talk to me, to hear me out. As time dragged on, I obsessed over the fact that he couldn’t be bothered with me. By the time the afternoon came, I was beyond livid.
“Out of the same kitchen window, I saw when the two of them packed up their camping gear and headed into the hills. I was furious. Rolland was away on business. I called him, and he agreed it was inconsiderate, but said there wasn’t anything he could do from a distance. I’m afraid I drank too much. Then, again, on Saturday night too. Still I didn’t sleep. I was ragged, hung-over, and furious by the time they rode in Sunday. I was like a banshee when I went screaming into the barn.”
A tut-tut sound popped out of Georgia. “I heard you yelled out one time.”
“Twice. Two times—screeching.”
Yvonne fell into Georgia’s arms and openly wept.
“I did this. It’s my fault.”
Georgia caressed her as only a sister or a lifelong friend could. “Okay. Shhhhhush. It’s going to be okay. It’s going to take time.”
Kenny was suddenly before them. Everyone stood up at attention. He mechanically told the group, “It’s possible the baby is already dead, but they’re going to do an emergency C-section anyway. Apparently, the horse’s hoof hit at exactly the worst place.” His self-control broke down a bit as he struggled to continue speaking.
Georgia’s heart went out to him and she verbally leaped in to provide some comfort. “No rush, Kenny. We’ve come to be with you and Zelda. There’s no rush.”
After a few jagged breaths, he went on. “The blow was powerful enough that it separated the placenta from the uterine wall. That’s why she has been bleeding so much. If he is still alive, he’s probably too young to survive outside the womb. Poor little fella.”
Circling him, the five adults hugged Kenny and reached their arms out to each other as well. While the men blinked back their tears, the women let them stream down their faces, wiping them with their shirtsleeves.
Kenny confided, “I was so angry at her when she told me she was going to have a baby. Now that I’ve had time to get used to the idea, I’m really sad about losing him. There were so many things I was looking forward to. It’s easy for me to imagine how hard this will hit Zelda. She is going to mourn that child. If Zelda lives, we’ll have to help her figure this tragedy out.”
“If she lives?” Rolland took a step back and put one hand on his heart.
“What happened to her is called placental abruption. It can cause the death of both the child and the mother.”
Yvonne’s face turned an even paler shade of ash, but her posture and the set of her chin transmitted the message to all of them that her spine was set in steel. Her voice came out controlled, considering the news they had all just been given. “What can we do, Kenny? Tell us what to do.”
“The nurse said we should all give blood in case Zelda needs a transfusion. In the event we don’t have the same type, other people here in the hospital need blood, too.”
Yvonne’s forceful voice continued, “All right, we will look into that immediately. Consider it done. Kenny, I need to ask you a question. When Spencer got hurt, the girls cleaned my house and brought food. It meant so much to come back from the hospital exhausted and find everything taken care of. May we do that for you?”
Kenny hesitated. He was trying to decide if he could ever forgive Yvonne. His grandchild may be dead and Zelda’s life was hanging by a thread. He surprised himself when he thought, What I feel right now is numb, but somehow also terrified. As long as Zelda lives, I think I can deal with anything. If she survives the blood loss, we can move forward, all of us, including Spencer and his family. It’s weird . . . I’m not mad at Yvonne at all. It’s not like she did something malicious, and it wasn’t premeditated. Rather, Yvonne whipped herself into a rage and went into the horse barn to give the young people a piece of her mind. She didn’t know Zelda was in the foaling stall. Kenny decided Yvonne had crossed a line, and she’d made a terrible decision, but the line was a fine one indeed.
He had been staring at the floor. He lifted his head up, and his hazel-brown eyes met her green ones. “All right, Yvonne. I will trust your judgment on this. Right now, I don’t think I could remember how to turn my vacuum cleaner on, let alone feed myself. Thank you.”
Relieved that he was going to accept her help, she rushed on, “You have our phone numbers. If you need something, you call. We will need to schedule rotations for who will stay with Zelda. Kenny, my experience has been that nothing important happens in the hospital at night. You should be here during the day shift. Visiting hours end at seven, and then we want you to go home and try to sleep. I’m going to tell Spencer the same thing. Linda, if you can get permission from the hospital, I’ll stay with her tonight.”
Georgia added, “I’ll do tomorrow night.”
Linda told them, “I’ll do the next.”
Peter said, “Linda and I have messages out to all the doctors on her medical team. Even though we’re retired, we still know everyone on staff. Kenny, if you have any questions at all, please tell us, and we’ll make sure they’re answered to your satisfaction. In the meantime, Linda and I want to study the nuances of Zelda’s case. Kenny, if you’ll sign this release form, the hospital will waive confidentiality and allow us to follow every note and procedure.”
Kenny took the clipboard Peter handed to him and quickly signed his name. When he handed it back, he took a moment to shake Peter’s hand, and he held on to it for a few seconds before letting go.
“One more thing, Kenny,” Rolland said. “We run a landscaping business out of the garden center department of my store. Your lawn and garden will be maintained until further notice. Don’t even think about mowing.” Rolland winked at him. “I couldn’t help but notice all your flower beds need some weeding, too.”
Kenny laughed and admitted, “I hate to weed.”
A nurse appeared in the doorway and announced, “Mr. Simmons, we think you should wait near surgery on the second floor so the doctors can find you if they need you and also to keep you informed. Are you all together? I’d head down soon if I were you.”
They rushed downstairs as instructed but it was almost two tension-filled hours later when the surgeon came out to speak to them. He looked grim. “I’m sorry. The baby was gone before we got in there. It was a serious tear of the placenta and I’m glad we got the chance to deal with that. The danger now is blood loss and shock. We’ll have to see how the next twenty-four hours go.”
Yvonne fingered the rosary beads in her pocket nervously. Lord, if you spare Zelda, I promise that I will make it my life’s work to help that girl.
Twenty
“In a time of destruction, create something.”
—Maxine Hong Kingston
Zelda didn’t open her eyes when Kenny told her that he was leaving and would be back in the morning. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, but she didn’t move or react at all. Her breathing was shallow. The intensive care beds were full, so the hospital decided to put her in a private room, which made sense because she was so ill. Zelda required emergency OB-GYN doctors, and they didn’t want to subject a roommate to the constant coming and goings of nurses, lab techs, and doctors. They were also being sensitive to the fact that most of the patients on the maternity ward were new mothers. They figured the last thing Zelda needed to see right now was an infant.
In the quiet of the night, Yvonne sat in a chair next to Zelda’s bed. The white streaks at her temples seemed to glow in the near darkness. She dozed off for a while, but jolted awake when she heard the girl ask for water. Bedside Zelda’s table was a plastic cup of ice water with a snug top and flexible straw. Yvonne held it to the young women’s lips while she sucked on it. After she was done, Yvonne spoke quietly to her. “Zelda, it’s me, Yvonne. I am going to spend the night here. We are all going to trade off staying with you until you feel much better. Your father and Spencer will be back in the morning.”
Yvonne paused to see if Zelda looked like she was listening. She didn’t open her eyes, but she whispered, “Thank you.”
“There is something th
at needs to be said, Zelda. Let me talk about the proverbial ‘elephant in the room.’ Sometimes I am impossible. I am an idiot. I only hope one day you will forgive me for the things I’ve said to you and for spooking the mare.”
“You didn’t mean to . . .”
“No, I didn’t, but I caused you harm anyway. We’ll talk more when you feel better. I just wanted to clear the air because I’d like to be here at the hospital to help take care of you. If you aren’t comfortable with that, you can tell me anytime. Or tell your dad. Or Spencer. This is about you, Zelda, not me. I respect any decision you make.”
She opened her eyes and turned toward Yvonne, although it was clear that moving her neck was painful. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Well, you are very generous to say that. I want you to know how sorry I am. So sorry.”
“Can’t we call it even?”
“No. We’re not even. We will never be even. My child is still alive. Don’t think I’ll ever forget what my actions have cost you.”
Zelda closed her eyes again and felt Yvonne take her hand in her own. She gave her another sip of water and Zelda sat up to receive the straw. “How’s my dad?”
Yvonne weighed how much she should say to her, thinking, Will honesty help or hurt her right now?
“Please tell me the truth. It will help me feel some sense of control. This whole day has been chaotic.”
“All right, he’s sad. He’s sad you lost your son, and he’s worried about you.”
Zelda frowned. “What do you think I should I do about it?”
Yvonne gave her question some thought. “You need to take care of yourself. First, you heal, then you grieve the loss of your baby. Your father will follow your lead. You know men don’t know how to deal with these things the way we do. But first things first. You have to get better.”
“I slept all day. Now, I’m wide awake.”
“Well, I’m happy to hear it. I’m thrilled, in fact. I know Clarice kicked you in the stomach, but I was tormented wondering if the force had thrown you against a wall. I’ve been worried about a possible head injury.”
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