My Fight to the Top

by Michelle Mone

  ‘Get your head down,’ they said as I drove off. I was headed straight to another TV show. It was battle after battle after battle. I put myself right out there – no other businessperson was doing that. I was scared it would affect my career and people warned it could ruin me, but I couldn’t give up in what I believed in. I kept fighting the whole way.

  My mum and dad helped keep me going. I thought they would tell me to stop, but instead they said, ‘You need to tell the people of Scotland what this is all about. You are an East End girl and you need to say independence is too much of a risk for our nation.’

  I got death threats on Twitter and letters to my house: ‘You better stop now or you’re getting it.’ I was called a bitch, a cow and a slut but I still fought on. It took a lot out of me and I was already paranoid about safety after the carjacking. I hired a security guard to protect the house. I wouldn’t walk anywhere on my own, I wouldn’t even walk around the busy shopping area of Buchanan Street. I double-checked all the alarms and cameras before bed and I got a lock fitted on my bedroom. I had the kids chauffeured to and from school. I had an escape route from the house worked out for all of us. As with business, I believe you should always have a plan in case it goes wrong. I blocked over 350 users on Twitter who were writing abuse.

  At times I did think, Should I give up? I’ve got three amazing kids – am I putting them at risk? But I couldn’t give up – it isn’t in my nature.

  Keep going, must keep going.

  I wasn’t going to be bullied any more. I wanted to say to people, ‘This is my opinion and you may not think I’m right, but I’m entitled to have it. As everyone is.’

  I did 27 live TV interviews in the final 48 hours before the polls closed. I didn’t sleep and I barely stopped for food or drink – I was running on pure adrenaline. I can’t tell you how nerve-wracking it was in those final hours because the outcome was touch and go. Better Together campaign members were sending each other text messages all through results night. ‘Damn it, they’ve won Dundee…’ Bleep bleep – my phone went off again: ‘We’ve won Aberdeen!’ I’d been up for 46 hours by then and I was told that I would appear on ITV’s Good Morning Britain at 6 am to talk about the results. I felt sick from exhaustion. Ring ring. It was Ramsay Jones.

  ‘Michelle, we’ve won with 55.3 per cent,’ Ramsay announced.

  ‘You beauty,’ I screamed. Tears of joy and exhaustion streamed down my face.

  ‘Go do Good Morning Britain. I love you – I can’t thank you enough.’

  Half of Scotland probably hate me now as a result of the campaign, but I don’t regret any of it. Scotland, after all, was the winner: it was granted more power. I learnt so much – I learnt how to keep calm and I’ve become stronger and more confident. I think I took everyone by surprise and I took myself by surprise. This is how I want to be remembered by my kids – as the mum who went out there, despite all the threats, and was part of the team that saved the union – and I hope that one day they will be proud of their mum for being part of history.

  I’ve faced and won battle after battle over the years but this is a victory I’ll never forget.

  EPILOGUE

  My Fight to the Top

  Rocky, starring Sylvester Stallone, was one of my favourite films when I was a kid. I was about ten or eleven, and I would dance around our tiny wee lounge in the East End to the theme song – ‘Eye of the Tiger’.

  Stallone’s character – the boxer, Rocky – made me believe you only get somewhere in life if you work hard. I’m not kidding, that movie used to make me want to get out of bed in the mornings and fight. I thought I was Rocky; I would get up at the crack of dawn for my paper round and sing the ‘Eye of the Tiger’. I used to run up and down the steps by the graveyard while I was delivering all the newspapers, imagining I was training for a boxing match.

  So I literally couldn’t believe it when one of the biggest motivational speakers in the USA asked if I’d like to come to one of their events in LA to tell my life story – alongside my childhood hero, as well as Al Pacino, in November 2014!

  I’d never done a speech in the States before, let alone LA, the home of all the rich and famous – the home of Hollywood. Pop stars and actors always say that if you can crack America, then you’ve really made it. I saw it as a challenge – I was determined to leave a lasting impression.

  I don’t think the enormity of it all hit me until I arrived at LAX airport. A chauffeur-driven car picked me up to take me to my hotel. As I was driving down the famous Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, I saw my picture everywhere alongside Pacino and Stallone.

  ‘Oh, my god,’ I screamed, as I stared back down the street.

  How could I go from growing up in the East End, to seeing my picture with some of Hollywood’s biggest stars? It didn’t seem real.

  When I arrived at the Peninsular Hotel in Beverley Hills, a butler greeted me, and took me to my room. There were flowers everywhere, and champagne, and they had made a huge welcome display out of chocolates. They had even made a picture of me from cake icing.

  Bloody hell! I thought as I fell back on the enormous bed.

  I was so nervous as I arrived at the event the next day – I was absolutely shitting myself. I may have been known in the UK and Europe as one of the most in-demand female motivational speakers, but the Americans didn’t have a clue who I was.

  They are going to boo me off the stage, I thought. My hands started to tremble.

  I was one of the first to speak, and the backstage crew were trying to clip a microphone onto my jacket, when that all too familiar feeling rose in my belly.

  ‘I’ve got to go now,’ I spluttered, running for the toilet.

  I was sick in the toilet four times, that’s how nervous I was. I kept running and coming back, running and coming back.

  If that wasn’t bad enough, I was about to be called on stage, when disaster struck. I still can’t believe what happened next. All the pictures I use to help prompt me – pictures of the East End, pictures of the Launch of Ultimo – all 45 sheets of paper slipped out of my hands and scattered across the stairs.

  Oh, my god. Why is this happening?

  I never really use them, but they are reference points if I ever get stuck. If my mind was to ever draw a blank they were my safety net.

  Someone was dashing around, desperately trying to pick them up while my name was being called out.

  ‘Just leave it, leave it,’ I told the woman. I’d run out of time.

  I walked up on stage shaking like a leaf. There were 2,000 sets of eyes staring, and a spotlight beaming down on me. I felt like a rabbit caught in headlights. What the hell am I going to do?

  So what did I do? I smiled. Just like every other time I’d felt out of my depth, whether that be my first dinner with Michael’s parents, or speaking live on TV about the Referendum.

  ‘Hi,’ I said to the massive audience.

  On the outside I was smiling, but on the inside, I was dying. The words were caught in my throat; my mouth was as dry as a desert.

  And then something in me just suddenly snapped. The fighter in me burst out.

  Michelle – why do you take these pictures with you everywhere, all around the world, but you never bloody look at them?

  I always have this voice in my head telling me to fight harder. It often speaks to me in the morning when I’m really tired, telling me to get my arse out of bed and get in the shower.

  Michelle - get yourself together and get on with it.

  I was having a conversation with myself in front of 2,000 people!

  I took a deep breath; I focused on a few people in the front of the audience, and started to tell my story:

  ‘I’ve always wanted to be in business, I wasn’t the kind of teenager who had Madonna on my bedroom wall, I had a picture of Richard Branson above my bed,’ I began.

  ‘I decided to start up a business when I was ten-years-old. What I did have was passion, determination, and a can-do attitude, because if
you’ve got those ingredients, then nothing will stop you,’ I told the audience. I told them about the highs and the lows, how Ultimo nearly went bankrupt, and how we were saved in the eleventh hour. I revealed my struggles, just like I’ve told all of you reading this book.

  Half an hour had passed. I was wrapping up, when the guy with the clipboard on the right of the stage signalled at me to keep going.

  Oh Jesus. Deep breath.

  I talked for an hour and 20 minutes in the end – that is the longest I’ve ever been on stage. I felt really nervous because no one had made a sound throughout the whole time I’d been up there. Normally the audience would be laughing, or clapping, but this lot had been so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

  ‘So thank you for taking your time to listen to my story,’ I finished.

  Silence. Oh Jesus this is embarrassing, I thought.

  And then, I’m not kidding, the whole audience rose to their feet, clapping and cheering. They began cheering my name too, while hundreds of women came running up to the stage – it was really crazy, almost unreal.

  I did it! What started out a disaster turned into one of the best speeches of my life. It was unreal, something like 1,000 people paid to have their picture taken with me. I swear I thought the queue would never end.

  Looking back, I have to say that dropping those papers was the best thing that could have happened to me. I was so deep in the shit that I had to fight my way out of it. I always perform best when I’m in trouble, when I’m under the most amounts of stress and pressure.

  Dropping those papers forced me to tell my story straight from the heart, to give an honest account of how I have got to where I am today – my fight to the top.

  After the event, we all went to a restaurant to celebrate.

  Back when I was growing up, mum and dad used to get so excited when a new film of Al Pacino’s came out.

  Bleep bleep.

  It was a text message from my mum:

  ‘You better come home with Al Pacino’s autograph or I’m not watching your kids again,’ she threatened. It made me laugh, as it was almost identical to what she had said when I’d had high tea with Prince Charles.

  That was my cue – I approached Al Pacino.

  ‘Al, my mum’s at home watching my kids, could you sign this for her?’ I smiled.

  ‘Yeah, sure,’ he said in his gravelly American voice. He was really friendly and down to earth for a Hollywood superstar.

  I love Al Pacino’s films, The Godfather and all the rest of them, but Stallone’s Rocky was one of my all-time favourite movies. It was an inspiration for me, in terms of training and determination to win. I’ve never forgotten that movie. I was too embarrassed to say any of that when I met Stallone afterwards though.

  ‘Hi,’ I said, shyly. Stallone held out his hand and told me I had an incredible story. He was really smiley, but I was a bit surprised that I was taller than him!

  Since the start of the year I’d been waking up every morning, thinking, I’d saved Ultimo, but is this the life I want now?

  What next? I’m always thinking what’s next. I just felt like I was missing something. I didn’t want to be designing lingerie and swimwear for the rest of my life, I needed a new challenge.

  ‘You know what Michelle, you only live on this earth once, it isn’t a dress rehearsal. Do what makes you happy,’ Mum said.

  ‘If you feel like you need to do something to change your life then do it. You don’t want to be sitting here in ten years time thinking you wish you’d done this or you’d done that,’ she advised.

  Mum was right. The kids were settled in our new place, the company had stabilised since my very public separation from Michael, I was starting to feel happier about being alone, and so I rang up my US business coach, Ted Anders.

  ‘Ted, I’m lost,’ I said. ‘There is something still missing. Why could there be something wrong when I’ve won my company, my baby back?’

  Ted came to my house in Glasgow and we locked ourselves in for two days, brainstorming. He helped me map out charts asking questions like: ‘Who are you? Where do you want to go to next? What are you here for?’

  ‘You’re right, Ted, I’m here to try and make a difference.’ I stood back and looked at the bigger picture. I decided I was going to put my heart into more speaking events, into mentoring those who need help.

  I sold 80 per cent of Ultimo because I realised I didn’t want to sit behind my desk for another five years designing lingerie and swimwear. I really care about Ultimo, and I still play a central role in the business for five days a month to guide the brand. But in terms of the day-to-day operations, I’ve hung up my bra. I’ve been offered many opportunities but I’m taking some time out to think about my next chapter. It’s taken my fight to the top to realise that my real passion lies in inspiring people. My trials and tribulations have taught me how I can help others.

  We all go through that dark place at some point in our lives – where we struggle to cope with things like: ‘how am I going to pay for this? How am I going to get out of this?’ We all go through it, but it’s how we deal with it and stay strong that matters. I’m no expert, but through my life experiences I want to teach people how they can become the best they can be – whether that’s in their career or in their lifestyle. I wouldn’t have been sharing a stage with Al Pacino and Sylvester Stallone if I hadn’t fought so hard for what I wanted.

  As for Michael – he had his reasons for behaving the way he did, and I know that I’m not perfect. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if none of it had happened. I’m at a stage of my life where all the bitterness has gone and all the fighting is over. He is now getting married to Sam, and I wish them all of the best, because I’m getting on with my life, and I’m about to start a new chapter.

  I know I’ll meet the perfect guy one day but I tell you what, I’m not going to wait around for it to happen. I’m too busy thinking, What next? Things don’t come to you, you have to go out there and get them.

  I’m back in the zone – I recently bought back 100 per cent of UTAN, a self-tanning range, and Ultimo Beauty from MAS Holdings and we’re launching the brand into Boots and QVC. I’ve got a whole bunch of things I still want to achieve. I want to start new projects, tour around the world doing more speaking events and inspire people in fitness, diet, business and careers. I want to spend more time with my kids, spend more time with my family and spend more time working on ‘me’. I want to get myself a life and, hopefully, one day fall in love.

  Above all, I want my story to be inspirational. I want to show you that you can be a success, no matter where you came from.

  I grew up in a culture where everyone said, ‘You can’t do this’ or ‘You can’t do that’ and I questioned it. Why does it matter where you are from? Why does it matter what education you managed to have? It doesn’t mean your life is over if you don’t have the best start. I’m living proof that there are no limits.

  If I would have one bit of advice, it would be this: if you fail to plan, then plan to fail. I’ve always been a planner and I’ve always carried a book in my handbag listing what I have to achieve personally. I stay focused on that list. I try and tick every goal off. If I don’t, that’s okay. I’m not Superwoman, I have three children to look after and I take the list over to the next day.

  So get yourself a notebook like mine, keep it in your bag and set yourself goals every day. Business goals and personal goals – and keep focused on those goals. Before you know it, it will be bedtime and you’ll think – where did the day go?

  If you’re not successful, don’t blame those around you. Don’t blame him or her or that situation – blame yourself. You are in control of your life: if you have passion, an ambition or even the wildest of dreams, you can do it: just take control and never, ever give up. I hope this book will show it doesn’t matter where you’re from – whether you come from wealth or struggle to make ends meet – if you have the determination and a ‘can-do’ attitude yo
u can achieve anything you want even if you’ve got to fight to get it. So do it – take control.

  Here I am posing for a few early photographs with a cheeky grin!

  [© Urbanglasgow.co.uk]

  I was born in the Gallowgate area of Glasgow. It was quite a poor area of the city but I have some great memories of growing up there.

  I grew up quick and took an early interest in fashion and business.

  Family is the most important thing in life. My parents were so supportive when I was growing up and trying to set up my career. I’m hoping to be just as supportive to my own family. Here are a few photos of my mum and dad sitting alongside my son Declan (top left), my mum and I sitting with my daughter Bethany (top right) and my mum and I having dinner together (bottom).

  [© Sven Arnstein]

  My weight was always an issue, particularly during the years when I was married. I was very camera shy in the early years of my career (left) and it was an amazing feeling to become the face of my own business years later (below).

  [© Stephen Hughes]

  I had a poster of Richard Branson above my bed when I was a wee girl. I always knew that one day I’d get to meet him (top). I’ve had the opportunity to meet a few other amazing people during my career, including Boris Becker (middle, first from left) and Eva Longoria (middle, fourth from left), and my fellow entrepreneur Peter Jones (bottom).

  I received an Honorary Doctor of Arts from the University of Hertfordshire in 2010. It was a very proud moment for me and my family.

  [© Press Association]

  I unleashed the so-called ‘bra wars’ back in 2004 when I employed Rod Stewart’s exwife Rachel Hunter as the new ‘face’ of Ultimo (top). Rachel replaced Rod Stewart’s current wife Penny Lancaster (bottom, second from left), pictured here with her husband Rod (first from left), Michael Mone (third from left) and me at the Ultimo lingerie fashion show in 2003.