His eyes opened in shock at the look of horror on Mandy’s face.
“Never speak of this ever again!” she snapped.
Chapter 21
Troy wasn’t entirely sure why he was even bothering to show up for the game that night. There was no way he was making it off the bench. In fact, he was surprised Jesse hadn’t had him cut from the team by now. For that matter, he was still trying to figure out why he hadn’t quit.
Because I love him.
He took the thought, folded it carefully, placed it in a mail slot in his mind, and locked it away.
Doesn’t mean it’s not there.
He pushed open the door to the locker room, shifting his focus to the bag of gear slung over his back. The weight put a kink in his neck. It was a welcome distraction, but only for a moment. His brooding thoughts turned quickly to Chad, the feel of his skin, his infectious laugh, and his utter fierceness.
Why can’t I be okay with being gay? Troy wondered.
His stomach still turned at the word, and as he pushed his way into the locker room he felt at an all-time low. He tried to lock the sentiment down, cage it behind the barrier in his mind, but before he could, a wave of foreboding pulled his head up from his reverie. Something was up—he sensed it even before he saw the guys, scattered about the locker room. Their emotions swept into him, a unified force of worry, dread, and foreboding.When they saw him, there was momentary hope. They want me to play! he cheered to himself. “Is Jesse with you?” the coach asked.“No,” Troy replied. “Haven’t seen him for hours.” “No one has,” the coach snorted, “and he’s not answering his cell.” Adam, a stocky quarterback, banged his head into his helmet.“We’re screwed.” Coach kicked a garbage can. Troy felt their morale drop like lead weights, dragging him down.“We might as well just forfeit,” Adam scowled. There were nods and grunts of agreement. Coach Lenwick glow ered at their inevitable defeat. Troy swallowed a lump in his throat. They all had reason to be down, but he couldn’t help but wonder at how quickly they’d given up. It was almost as if they were mirroring his own internal state.
“So that’s it?”
It was Chad who spoke. There was an audible creak of necks twisting towards him. He stood off to the side in his shiny short shorts and tight sleeveless shirt. His pompons rustled in the silence. Troy could feel Chad’s own doubt, but the difference between him and everyone else in the room was that Chad knew all about doubt, but he’d decided long ago that the cost of giving in to it was too high.
“You’re just going to give up?” he pressed.“No offense, Chaz…” Adam began.“Chad,” he corrected.“Right. You ever played football?” “No.”
“Then you might want to shut it right about now.”
The entire team glared at the only cheerleader in the room. They didn’t even try to hide their revulsion. He held his pompoms awkwardly, looking to his dad for support. The coach shook his head with disgust.
“This isn’t cheerleading,” the elder Lenwick snapped. “We’re here to win, and to do that, we need our star player.”
“We’re all star players.”
Troy wondered who had the balls to speak up. Everyone looked at him, and he realized the words had issued from his own mouth.
“Oh, um…” He looked to Chad for support. He appeared ready to say something, but a harsh look from his dad and the blond’s mouth snapped shut.
Troy sought help from the guys. They just kept staring at him.
“Adam!” he said to the guy who’d dissed Chad. “Two games ago you scored the winning touchdown.”
He felt a surge of pride from Adam. That helped bolster Troy, and as he felt his insides strengthen, that resolve spread outwards. There were nods of agreement from the other guys. Their doubt loomed, but behind it, a desire to believe. “Riley,” he continued, “last time I checked, you were the biggest, toughest brick house around. Nobody on the field messes with you, right?”
From the corner of his eye Troy caught Chad giving him the thumbs-up.
“Hell’s yeah,” Riley said, “and Markham’s the fastest dawg we got.”
“Damn straight,” Markham agreed.
“See, guys!” Troy said. “We’re awesome.”
And they were—they could feel it. To Troy it was like a warm light filling the room. Even Chad felt his chest swelling with pride.
“Coach, I think with a few tweaks your game plan can still work,” Troy said.
“Yeah?” the coach asked, still a hint of reserve left in him, but Troy could sense, beneath the doubt, a flicker of confidence, a desire for Troy to be right. The flame just needed to be fanned.
Troy looked to Chad, hoping for inspiration, and got it.
“Jesse’s not the only one who can bring the game home,” Troy said, his own resolve growing as he gazed into the cheerleader’s blue eyes. “There are other really awesome players on the field, ones I would be honored to play with.”
Chad blushed, and Troy gave him a daring wink.
The guys began to huddle around the former wrestler, staring at the board with their plays on it. Troy began pointing out a few adjustments, drawing quick lines with colored chalk.
Chad watched with growing admiration—and a lump in his throat.
As Troy concluded, there was a loud cheer from all the guys, and they began banging into each other, chest to chest.
“Come on, animals!” the coach cried, and they went packing out en masse.
Troy was the last to go, and he paused, turning to Chad.
“Thank you,” Troy said.
“For what?”
“For speaking up. For not taking this lying down.”
Chad shrugged. “It’s what I do.”
“I know,” Troy agreed, “and I really…”
Love you for that.
“…like that about you.”
Chad blushed.
“Don’t you have a game to lead?”
Troy’s eyebrows rose in slight surprise.
“Lead, eh?”
“Kind of looks that way,” Chad pointed out.
“It’s a pretty big change from the bench-warming plans I had all night,” Troy said, and then, more shyly, his cheeks turning red,
“Kiss me good luck?”
Now it was Chad’s turn to look surprised.
“For serious?”
“Yeah,” he said.
“What’s changed?”
“We have,” Troy said. “All of us. I know what you feel, for me, and…I feel it too.”
Chad walked up to him. Troy rubbed his cheek. He was so damn pretty. Cupping Chad behind the neck, he drew the cheerleader to him. Their lips merged in moist warmness. They pulled apart.
“Thanks,” Troy murmured, “I needed that.”
Chad pushed him towards the field.
“Go get ’em, queero.”
Chapter 22
Mandy and Liza walked towards the stands overlooking the high school’s football field. A glare was etched on Mandy’s face. Liza clutched her Big Gulp excitedly. She wore a T-shirt that bore an image of the Nuffim Marmot, and carried a rolled-up sign that read, “Evan, Evan, he’s my man, if he can’t do me, no one can!”
“This is my first football game,” Liza said, slurping from her straw.
“Really? I didn’t catch that the first 20 times you told me,” Mandy snapped.
Liza didn’t even hear.
“I can’t wait to see Evan play, and then after the game he and I are driving up to Lovers’ Lookout and…”
“Enough,” Mandy said, holding her hand up for silence. “I said I’d come to the game, so I’m at the game. You can stop shoving your boyfriend in my face.”
“I thought you’d be happy for me,” Liza said.
“I am,” Mandy replied. “Well, I’m trying to be. It would be easier if I hadn’t given up everything for lady love only to discover I don’t even like it.”
The cheerleading squad was shouting away as the bleachers filled up. Mandy moped as she gaz
ed at the girls doing a routine she herself had choreographed. Liza, on the other hand, had noticed a figure in a dark coat heading away from everyone else, towards the school’s locked doors instead of the football field. Her heart raced nervously.
“Mandy, you go ahead,” she said.
“Sure,” Mandy replied. She kept staring at the cheerleaders, doing flips, throwing each other into the air, everyone cheering them. Her shoulders sagged as her feet thudded up the stairs and joined the masses in the stands. She didn’t watch as Liza stopped at the school doors.
“What are you doing here?”
Devon turned, hands raised towards Liza. She jumped back. He smirked and simply straightened his trench coat.
“Relax. I’m just here for the big game. Wanted to show my school spirit.”
“You don’t have any school spirit.”
“And you do? Right, I forgot about the new and improved Liza. Kind of like you forgot about this.”
He held up a piece of paper with Liza’s handwriting on it.
It read, “Hit List. Homeroom.”
She grabbed it from him and stuffed it into her purse.
“That was just…theoretical,” she blurted out. “I was never actually going to…”
“Do to them what you did to my mom?” he interrupted.
“That was an accident,” she snapped. “And I don’t do stuff like that anymore.”
“Then what are you doing talking to the likes of me?”
“I…I just wanted to warn you, not to try anything.”
Only now did she notice how terrible he looked—skin like rice paper, a spatter of stubble on his cheeks, eyes bloodshot.
“Hey, maybe I’ll come hang out with you and your friends after,” he offered with a forced joviality. “I am one of the gang, after all.” He wiggled his fingers for emphasis. “We could double date and get floats at the ice cream shop!”
“Enough,” Liza snapped. “If you try to hurt any of us…”
“Why bother? I’m over you, and them…” He shrugged his head towards the field. “They’re already in a hell of their own making.”
“You’re just so…so negative,” she said with pity.
“Wow,” he said, “you wear a couple of my mom’s dresses and poof! you start to sound like her. You would’ve loved her. Too bad you killed her.”
Her cheek trembled at his words, and for a moment she was the old Liza, with lots to say, but no voice with which to say it.
“Well, see ya,” she finally mumbled, turning and walking away.
“Yeah,” he said, “I’m pretty sure you will.”
To himself he added, “And don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt your friends. I’m going to leave that up to you. And I sure hope everybody enjoys the video you gave me.”
“Are you okay?” Mandy asked as Liza maneuvered her bulk through the crowd of students and overly enthusiastic parents.
“Never better,” Liza lied.
She scanned the field, searching for Evan, and keeping an eye out for Devon.
“We’re pretty far up,” Liza said. “Couldn’t we move closer?”
“Are you here to spend time with me, or rub your boyfriend in my face?” Mandy demanded.
“Sorry,” Liza muttered. Mandy was squinting to try to bring the cheerleaders into focus. Chad hoisted Tanya Delzowski to the top of the pyramid. She stood there proudly, and even did a high kick over her head. The crowd began to cheer, but the pyramid wobbled as Tanya lost her balance, and the whole bunch of them came crashing into each other.
“Idiot!” Mandy cursed. “Just because Tanya’s team captain now does not mean she’s got my moves. I should be down there.”
“Okay!” Liza said, getting ready to move closer to the field.
“Sit,” Mandy ordered, grabbing Liza and jerking her back into her seat before stuffing herself with popcorn.
“Wow, they are really getting clobbered,” Mandy commented as the clock approached the twenty-minute mark. “The cheerleading squad really has its work cut out for it if the team wants to win. I’m not sure even we…I mean they… can raise spirits that high.”
“Maybe if Evan saw me watching, that might inspire him,” Liza offered.
“Oh please, honey, Evan’s a B-list player at best,” Mandy replied, getting up and stretching her arms. “I’m going to the ladies’ room. You guard our spots.”
Liza watched her go. She waited for a few moments and then grabbed all their stuff and began walking down the stairs, searching for empty seats nearer the field. When she got almost to the bottom, she spotted a couple of empty chairs behind a pole. They would have to do. She was excusing her way down the aisle when two girls stood up right in front of her and barred the way.
“Where do you think you’re going, freak?”
“I think this bench has already reached its maximum weight allowance,” the second girl added. “Go find yourself a nice ocean and then beach yourself.”
It was Lacey and Stacey. Lacey wore a neck brace and her arm was in a sling. Stacey had two bandages on her forehead and hobbled on crutches.
“You’ve got a lot of nerve,” Stacey said.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Liza lied.
“It’s kind of weird that the earthquake sent us to the hospital, and you don’t even have a scratch,” Lacey said, giving Liza a push.
“Mandy wasn’t hurt either,” she countered.
“She’s been hanging out with you. Clearly she’s suffered major head trauma.”
“And we don’t like the way you’re taking advantage of her.”
Lacey lifted her mammoth cup of diet soda, turned it over, and poured its contents all over Liza’s head.
“Marine mammals need to stay hydrated,” she said. “I learned that at SeaWorld.”
Liza stood there shaking, her skin prickling from the cold liquid running down the back of her shirt, ice cubes stuck to her neck.
She opened her mouth, the scream built, and this time she’d flay the skin right off their skinny little bodies. The reverberations came up from her lungs, setting her vocal cords to vibrating, and Stacey shoved a hot dog, bun and all, deep into Liza’s throat. She choked on the mass, struggling to breathe. The scream recoiled inside her, making her entire body tremble.
Stacey raised a crutch and shoved the tip full into Liza’s belly.
Liza crashed backwards, knocking over the popcorn vendor, her body tumbling down the stairs and onto the field. People stared, and laughed. Somebody helped her to her feet. It was Chad, but she didn’t see. She just pushed him away, running and hiding behind the stands. She coughed up hot dog, and then stood there, leaning on her knees, panting and trying to catch her breath. Sticky pop dripped from her hair and into her eyes.
Mandy, she thought, dialing on her cellphone. She got voicemail.
“Where are you?” Liza said after the beep. “I really need a friend right...” Her words trailed off, her slack-jawed stare taking in the field. “…now.” She clicked the phone shut and took a step towards the impossible.
She watched as Mandy was tossed high into the air, a bright blue wig cascading around her, her pompons spinning in the glare of a spotlight. The bleachers above Liza vibrated with cheers and stomping feet. She coughed in a cloud of falling dust.
Mandy clearly did not go to the washroom as she’d claimed. Instead she went right up to Chad (and the other girls) and said, “Get it together, bitches. You’re a mess out there!”
“Listen, traitor,” Tanya snapped, “I’m pretty queer-positive, but every once in a while I meet a homo who just needs to be bashed.”
“First of all, you can suck it,” Mandy replied. “Second of all, I’m not gay.”
Chad pressed his palms together, stared skyward and mouthed the words “thank you.”
“So what?” Tanya demanded of Chad. “You think we should let your little fruit fly back on the team?”
“It couldn’t hurt,” Chad replied.
; “I don’t think so.”
“Listen, Tanya, we’re totally biting it, and it’s not your fault,” Chad reasoned. “You had a week to bounce back from Mandy’s defection. That may be enough time for the football team to get it together, but let’s face it, this is cheerleading. And we need her. We…miss her.”
The other girls were nodding. Tanya rolled her eyes.
“Fine! But I’m still squad captain, and you have a lot of making up to do.”
Minutes later Mandy had donned a uniform and was being thrown in the air.
Liza watched and slunk away, cola sticking to her long hair. She found Evan with the other players, in a huddle on the side of the field, figuring out their next strategy. She tapped him on his bulky shoulder pads.
“I need to talk with you,” she said after he turned around.
He looked confused.
“Right now? Baby, we’re in the middle of a game.”
Beyond him, Troy was giving firm instructions.
“Adam, go for No. 32’s left knee. It’s injured.”
“How do you know?” Adam asked.
Because he can feel it, Liza thought, staring at her boyfriend.
“I read it in the paper,” Troy lied.
“Something bad’s happened,” she said to Evan.
His gentle paw lifted her sopping hair, and wiped crumbs from her lips.
“I can see that. I’ll take care of it. After the game.”
“Riley, Nos. 53 and 45 seem to have it in for you,” Troy said.
“He was macking on their girls at the Hog and Ho,” Markham sniggered.
“I can take ’em,” Riley grunted.
“Markham, use that mouth of yours. Egg them on, really get them after Riley,” Troy said. “I need them to break formation.”
“No problem,” Markham answered.
“Evan,” Liza sobbed, “I can’t go back up there. They humiliated me!”
He put his arm around her and took a few steps away from his teammates.
“I know, and I’m sorry, and they’ll pay, but right now I have a game to win.”
“So what are you saying? That your stupid game, which you’re losing, is more important to you than me?”
“Don’t be like that,” Evan replied. “You don’t expect me to just walk away.”
Queeroes Page 13