by Sam Crescent
Marie: I’m undecided. My BFF is in England and these conversations can be a pain in the ass. I love talking to you but I miss talking to you in person. This fucking sucks, and you know I’ve always hated typing.
Lucia missed her friend so much.
Lucia: I wish I was home with you. We’d be able to help each other solve our problems, and we wouldn’t have to rely on someone else. I haven’t got a clue what to do. My parents want me to get over whatever misery I feel. I’m just … all alone.
Marie: I know. He’s not doing much better, just so you know. Of course, he’s still a kickass teacher but it’s not the same. He misses you.
Lucia sat back, pressing a hand to her mouth. She couldn’t help it. Suddenly overcome with raw emotion, she closed her eyes, and tried to stay focused.
Lucia: I miss him so much. I never realized just how much until now. I … I don’t want to lose him. I don’t know how much more of this that I can take. Dad’s unreasonable.
Marie: Try to come around and see it from his point. You’re his little girl and he was your teacher. I’m so sorry. I’ve got to go. Chat soon.
She saw that Marie had left, and she was once again alone.
For a few moments she was able to think of Marie’s voice, pretend to be listening to her.
Staring at her computer screen, she nibbled her lip and wondered what to do.
There was a soft knock on the door, and she turned around to see it was her mother.
“Dinner’s nearly done,” she said.
“Okay.”
She left the computer, not caring that her mother would probably read it.
Pulling her shirt over her head, she entered the bathroom, throwing it into the laundry room. Removing her jeans, she wriggled out of them before going into her room. She had her own en-suite bathroom still.
Her mother was sitting at the desk, scrolling through her conversation.
“No one said that I couldn’t talk about him,” Lucia said.
She grabbed a large shirt and some sweatpants, pulling them on.
“I know this is hard for you,” Patricia said. “I think it would have been difficult for me as well.”
“Try to imagine being in love with Dad only for your parents to decide that they know what’s best for you at every single turn. You can’t see him. Talk to him, and you’re forced to attempt to live a happy life, and you’ll understand what I’m feeling.”
Patricia sighed. “It was never supposed to be this way. We’d hoped that you’d love it here, and that we could be the family that we always wanted to be.”
Lucia sat on the edge of the bed, staring at her mother. There was a sad smile on her face.
“You loved him,” Patricia asked.
“Yes.” Tears filled her eyes. “I know you and Dad think it was gross and seedy, and wrong. The only thing that was wrong was that he was my teacher, Mom. Jack…” Even his name was hard to say. She closed her eyes, trying not to cry. She was tired of shedding tears. “He was always there for me. When we were together, he stopped being my teacher and became something more. Something perfect. He always knew what to say to make me smile.” She frowned. “I don’t know what to say about it, to be honest. Dad hates me.”
“Your father doesn’t hate you, Lucia. He’s worried about you. We both are. You’ve lost some weight in the past five months.”
“Yay, that’s always what you wanted.” Eating made her feel sick, so she nibbled when she could.
Her mother’s face lost the smile. “I never wanted you to be unhappy. I remember what it was like in high school being a nerd. The way they bullied everyone. I’m not the best mother. In fact, I’d say I’m probably an awful one, but I do love you, Lucia. Very much.”
Neither of them said anything more as her mother got to her feet and the conversation was terminated.
There was nothing that either of them could do.
Chapter Twenty
Two months later
It was Lucia’s birthday today. Beginning of October. Jack stared out his classroom window. All of his students were long gone for the day. A few stood around their cars, chatting, waiting for their boyfriends or girlfriends to be done with football practice. He stared up at the trees. The leaves had already started to change color. The year was nearly over with once again.
Closing his eyes, he tried not to think about all that had happened in the past year. He saw the kiss that Lucia had placed on his lips. It was like a movie in his mind that he got to watch, seeing her look so scared and then her lips had been on his.
So sure, so scared, so everything, and he’d held her in his arms, and told her it would all be okay.
Running a hand down his face, he opened his eyes once again and stared up at the trees.
No one had mentioned a word to him about Lucia’s leaving. Principal Brandt had said that her parents made the quick decision and that she wasn’t surprised. All the information on Lucia Deen was that her parents tended to make quick decisions and rarely turned up for their daughter’s parent-teacher conferences.
He didn’t completely understand what kind of files they had on the kids, but Brandt liked to keep detailed documents for her files.
Not for the first time he wondered if Lucia was happy.
If she missed him.
He missed her so fucking much.
In fact, he’d even put his house on the market and was looking for a new place. One that didn’t have so many memories. He was also looking at a change of schools. Walking the halls was a nightmare for him. When he was near her locker, it was like he saw her, smelled her.
He hadn’t been able to eat a fucking strawberry all through the damn summer, and that pissed him off.
A lot of things annoyed him of late. Even his parents, who had shown an interest in his life. They’d sent him at least five applications for different schools around the country, and not any of them actually appealed to him, mainly because it was his parents’ friends, and he didn’t want them doing him any favors.
Turning away from the window, he made his way toward the desk. The same desk that held more memories of a time when he’d been a lot happier.
The ring he’d bought for her still remained in the same place. The engagement ring that made a mockery of all of his plans.
There were moments that it actually felt like she’d died. He’d even drive past her house a couple of times a week, just to see, but a new family was there now, and he couldn’t keep living in the past.
Lucia Deen was gone.
She’d gone to protect him, and he hated that he couldn’t have done the same thing for her.
“Hey,” Marie said, surprising him.
“You do realize you don’t go here anymore,” he said.
“Shoot, you could have fooled me.” She clicked her fingers and smiled. “I knew I was in the wrong place.”
“What can I do for you?”
“I wanted to come and check on you.”
“You’re not a high school student.”
“I know, but I am a college student.” She turned around, showing him the sweater she wore with the local college logo on it.
“Very good.”
Marie visited him often since Lucia left, mostly to give him updates on how her friend was doing.
“I thought I’d come say hi. You know, being what day it is.”
“Lucia’s birthday.”
“Yes, she’s now nineteen.” Marie entered the classroom. She leaned against one of the student desks, arms folded. “I always imagined her being here, you know? Even when her parents were moving and everything was changing. I always thought it wouldn’t happen. That she’d stay here for a long time, and that we’d move on.”
He didn’t interrupt her. Talking about Lucia was the only thing he had of her right now. That, and a few pictures that he struggled to look at anymore. The constant reminder of everything that he’d lost.
“I wanted to apologize to you,” Jack said. “I … I didn’t think, a
nd I’ve not thought how this has affected you.”
“Talking to you, Jack, is not a problem. I loved Lucia. Still do. She was like a sister to me, and it hasn’t been right her not being here. I can’t believe her parents did what they did.”
“Why not? You wanted to report us. It’s the natural thing.”
“Okay, so I screwed up. I didn’t realize that this was the real deal to you. You’re a teacher, and Lucia was a student. I didn’t for a second think that you could have been in love with her until I saw it with my own eyes. I didn’t report you because I knew Lucia loved you.”
“I do love her.”
“I can see that. You look like crap, just so you know. Lucia doesn’t look much better.”
“What?”
“We did a video chat thing. I don’t think she’s doing all that well. She looks tired, and she doesn’t smile. Isn’t there any way for you to talk to her parents? Resolve this?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to risk Lucia being in trouble, and now we’ve got a whole ocean between us,” he said.
He wanted to see her, needed to.
“Look, Lucia wanted me to give this to you.” Marie held out an envelope. “She mailed it to me, but because of where she lives now, it took forever to get to me. She had to do it in secret.”
He took the envelope, holding it against his nose.
The scent of strawberries still lingered on the card. “Thank you, Marie. When you talk to her, tell her Happy Birthday, and that I’m thinking about her.”
“I will, Mr. Parker.”
“I think it’s more than okay for you to call me Jack.”
“I know, but it just seems weird to me. I’ll try it, Jack.” She chuckled, turned on her heel, and left.
He didn’t watch her go.
Staring at the letter in his hand, he was tempted to open it up then and there, but instead, he packed away his things and left the school.
Heading to his car, he waved at some of his students, but once he was behind the wheel, he had one focus, getting home.
He did so without making any stops. The sign in his front lawn didn’t calm him that day. The realtor wasn’t happy that he didn’t want to be present for any of the viewings. He didn’t want to see anyone who would be buying his property.
Entering his home, he grabbed a beer and made his way outside to his table on the porch. There was a chill in the air, but tonight, he didn’t feel it as he stared at her envelope. It was the first one he’d received, and he wanted to savor every single moment.
Turning it over, he opened up the envelope and pulled out the paper. Opening it up, he smiled at her handwriting. So neat, sure, and he ran his fingers across it.
You’re a grown-ass man loving some handwritten work.
Get over yourself.
Releasing a breath, he focused on the words.
Dear Jack, Mr. Parker,
I don’t know why I didn’t think to actually write to you, and send it. It’s the strangest thing, but I was watching a woman the other day in the park. She was sitting down, and she had this large coat. Her hair was swishing all around her, but she held this letter in one hand, clearly open, and in the other, pieces of paper with writing. My parents said I couldn’t have any contact with you at all. Being the total modern-day girl that I am, I didn’t even think of writing. I know you can’t write back. I don’t want you to get in trouble, and Dad’s still being an ass.
My birthday is fast approaching, and I still can’t stop thinking about you. The days here are so long. They’re miserable as well. The weather is not the best. It’s never the best to be honest, and I know I shouldn’t complain, but there it is. It’s my letter lol. See what I did there. I can still say lol.
Anyway, I feel happier just knowing that I’m writing to you.
I wanted to say how sorry I am about everything that has happened. That day on my birthday nearly a year ago now, I never for a second thought about what would happen. I had developed this crush on you. It was so big, which was why I went and sat in the back of the room. You know the spot. I didn’t want you to think less of me for actually having feelings for you. I know, I’m weird, but I’ve accepted that. Kissing you was the best thing I ever did. Falling in love with you, I can’t be upset about that.
Jack, I love you. More than anything else in the world, and this time apart, it is killing me. However, I have hope. I know it’s not right of me to ask this, but … will you wait for me? My parents can’t keep this up forever, I just know it. I love you, and I want to be with you. I’m going to find a way. Somehow.
If you don’t want to take that chance, I understand.
Please let Marie know what you want to do, and I will accept it either way. What we had shouldn’t have happened. It was forbidden, wrong, but when you actually think about it, only you being my teacher was wrong. That was all.
Everything else is what people write books about, make movies for.
I love you, Jack Parker, and I will be yours always.
Lucia
Jack smiled as he read the letter a second and third time.
Being with Lucia, no matter the age difference or whether they should have done it or not, it was the greatest thing that ever happened to him. He didn’t realize that he could have fallen in love or have these feelings at all.
Love was something he’d never known for most of his life.
It seemed rather fitting that the rebel in him would fall in love with a student.
“I’ll wait for you, Lucia. Forever if I have to.” He pressed a kiss to the letter, feeling some hope after so much darkness.
****
Lucia chewed on her cereal as her father entered the kitchen. She didn’t say anything to him. It was her birthday, and her mother had already wished her a good day, kissed her head, and left for work.
To Lucia it was just another day.
“Happy Birthday,” her father said.
“Thank you.”
She didn’t turn to look at him.
Their relationship had been strained for a long time. It was kind of funny actually. She and her mother had always struggled to see eye to eye, and yet it was her father that was difficult to talk to.
Every single night her mother came to see her now, to make sure she was happy.
“What are you doing today?” her father asked.
She chewed her food, staring at him. “Seeing the sights.”
The university admin office had to let her go over the summer as they had no need for volunteers.
She was still looking for work and waiting on her visa change. Until then, her parents had said for her not to worry.
“How long are you going to stay mad at me?” he finally asked.
Lucia stared at him and wondered what to say.
Forever?
Until you let me go back to him.
“How do you feel about Mom?” she asked instead.
“What do you mean?”
“How do you feel about her? I know you met each other when you were young and you both knew what you wanted out of life. Neither of you wanted a kid. Yes, I know, you love me. I’m just curious though. Did you love her?”
“Of course I loved her. We both knew what we wanted out of life. We both were in love and had these plans. Why?”
“I was just curious.”
“Why?”
“Because … I wanted to know. It’s my birthday after all. I don’t want to fight with you.” She took another mouthful of food and stared at him. She didn’t actually taste anything, but cereal seemed to be the only food that she could actually stomach right now. “What would you have done if you were kept apart?”
“Lucia?”
“I’m just curious.”
“Your mother and I, we didn’t do anything wrong.”
“And yet Jack and I did.” She watched her father’s hands clench into fists.
“He was your teacher.”
She smiled. “All my life I was the good girl. The pe
rfect daughter you could have. I never made waves. I didn’t stop you from going to your conferences, or your late-night work. Today is my birthday, and a year ago, you both presented me with a car and a promise. A promise that you wouldn’t forget my birthday.” She glanced down at her watch. “In about ten hours, a year ago, work took priority over me.”
“Why do you keep bringing this up?”
“Because I want you to realize that you’re not perfect. That I wasn’t perfect. That I was happy. I fell in love with Jack Parker, and even though you didn’t agree with it, it doesn’t mean it was wrong. He’s not my teacher anymore. I love him, and I’m not going to keep on letting you do this.” She tapped the paper and pushed it over to him. “Once I find a job, and I can be on my own two feet, I’m out of here. I’m done being this person, Dad. I’m done behaving as if I’ve done something wrong. I’m a good person. I’m not going to keep being bullied or protected by you anymore.”
She got to her feet, and without a backward glance made her way out of the house. The weather was once again miserable, but with an umbrella in hand, she felt like she had a chance.
There was going to come a point when her father’s threat wouldn’t stand. He wouldn’t be able to keep her in check.
She didn’t know what happened to her the other day as she’d stood in the park looking into the small lake. People were laughing, joking, arguing, and activity was everywhere.
As she stood there, she realized that she could write to Jack. She couldn’t receive anything from him, but also that as the years passed, her father’s threat would cease to matter.
A twenty-year-old, twenty-five–year-old, who would care if she dated a teacher? There was a way for them. She just had to wait and see if Jack felt the same.
****
“What are you going to do?” Patricia asked.
Bill looked dejected. Even though they’d both tried to put a brave face on it, the truth was, they were fast losing that fight. She’d always been the one that was at loggerheads with her little girl, and it was Bill who acted like a go-between. Now, their roles were reversed, and she knew it was tearing her husband apart, but also damaging their little girl.
“What do you want me to do?”