by BL Mute
I notice Carmen in the corner making out with some dude as I’m walking back out of the kitchen, and it clicks why Lydia is here. She’s always following Carmen around and making sure she stays out of trouble.
When I make it back down the hall and to the front door, I pull it open and see Lydia sitting on the steps. Her blonde hair is blowing around her shoulders from the soft wind while smoke billows in a cloud around her.
“Grabbed you another drink,” I state, sitting down on the steps next to her.
She glances my way long enough to take the cup, then downs it in one gulp. “Thanks.”
“So, who was that guy?”
I wanted to ask earlier, but she never gave me the chance. I probably shouldn’t care considering Mac’s warning, but Lydia clearly needed help. An escape. And I gave it to her.
She shakes her head, then eyes the bottle I’ve had tucked into my hand all night. “Don’t worry about it.” She steals the bottle from my hold and brings it to her lips. As the whiskey hits her tongue, her eyes squeeze shut.
I take the bottle back. “Maybe you should slow down.”
I’ve never seen her like this. I don’t even think I’ve ever seen her drink, and it makes me suspicious. The only time people drink like this is when they’re trying to forget something.
She looks at me, offended. “Maybe you should mind your own business.”
I laugh. “Typical Lydia. Turning defensive the moment anyone tries to help you.” She did the same thing the day of her dad’s funeral when all I was trying to do was make sure she was okay.
I was young when my mom died, but I remember feeling so angry and sad. I just wanted to let her know she wasn’t alone.
She throws her finished cigarette to the ground and crosses her arms over her chest. “Like you know me, Carter. And I never asked for your help.”
“Did you forget we used to be friends, Bunny?”
“We aren’t kids anymore. I’m not that little girl running away from you around the fountain chasing butterflies.”
“You’re right.” I nod. “You’re just a stuck-up bitch who likes to finger fuck herself now because no one else wants to deal with you long enough to fuck you.”
I almost regret my words, thinking they’re too harsh, but when her reply comes, the regret fleets.
“Yeah? That’s not what your dad said.” She smiles, proud of herself, but it doesn’t last long. Her smile falls, and dread paints her face.
She stands and tries to run away, but I don’t let her. I catch her bicep and turn her around. “You can’t keep running away, Lydia. What is that supposed to mean?”
Her eyes turn glassy as she shakes her head. “Nothing, Carter. I’m just talking shit.”
I tilt my head. “Since when do you drop something that easy?” When she doesn’t answer, more questions start swirling in my head. “Did you fuck Mac?”
I wouldn’t be surprised if she said yes. My dad is the scum of the earth, after all.
I’m not expecting the harsh tone in my voice, and I don’t think she is either because her eyes grow wide, and she turns into herself. “Just stop. Leave it alone.”
I bite my lip. “Wow. Can you say daddy issues?” I laugh. Not because anything is funny, but because all of this is so fucking bizarre. I never would have thought of her to be the type of person to do something so… despicable. Mac? Sure. But not her.
She yanks her arm from me and rears her hand back, sending it flat across my cheek. “I fucking hate you, Carter.”
I inhale a sharp breath to combat the pain radiating from where she hit me. I deal with this shit almost daily when it comes to Mac, but I refuse to let anyone else use me as a punching bag. I grab her by the shoulders and back her up until her shoulder blades hit the house.
“Tell me, Lydia. Do you hate me because of who I am or because I now know your dirty little secret?” Her nostrils flare as my eyes bounce between hers. “Speak,” I command, throwing out the very thing Mac screams at me when I don’t answer him.
Her entire facial expression changes, and something sparks in her eyes. I’m sure it’s anger until she crashes her lips to mine.
Not anger. Lust.
I don’t try and fight her away because something in me is screaming I need this more than her. I want this more than her. My hands leave her shoulders and find their way into her hair. Her golden strands fall in between my fingers, so I grip them and yank her head back so my mouth has better access to hers.
I shove my tongue into her mouth, tasting the whiskey she drank moments ago, and it sends a jolt to my dick. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to taste her, to be inside of her, to just have her, and now I can finally get those answers. I know I shouldn’t. She’s off-limits according to my dad, but the thrill of having something I’m not supposed to sends my body over the edge.
You can’t tell a kid he can’t have a cookie, then leave the cookie jar sitting on the counter. He’s more than likely going to dip his hand inside and grab one, then let it melt in his mouth. The thrill of the forbidden is too fucking strong that it makes the consequences seem almost worth it. Or maybe that’s just the alcohol talking.
I break our kiss. “Hate me enough not to continue?”
Her chest heaves as she stares into my eyes. “I hate you just enough to keep going.”
I cup her chin in my hand and shove her head into the wall. “There is no coming back from this.”
She clasps my wrist and throws my hand away before pushing my chest hard, making me stumble back. “There is no this if you don’t shut the fuck up and follow me.”
She turns on her heel and goes back inside, wasting no time hurrying up the steps by the door. I watch her take every step as she undoes the locket around her neck.
I pause for a moment, wondering if I should do this. “Fuck it,” I say to myself.
Following the path I saw her take, I go inside, then up the stairs. I catch the tail end of her blonde hair slide into a room, so I do the same. When I step inside and close the door, all the light from the hall dies, and I’m met with almost darkness. The only light giving me a glimpse of her silhouette is the moon shining in through the window.
I’m about to feel around the wall for a switch, but her hand finds my waist and pulls me into her by the front of my pants. “We shouldn’t do this,” she whispers, fumbling with my belt buckle.
“Yeah, but it isn’t going to stop me. Is it going to stop you?” I walk my fingers up her chest and let my hand clasp around her throat as she fumbles with my belt even more.
I can feel her heartbeat thump harder under my hold and her skin heat.
Her hands still for a moment like she’s thinking. “I’m still chasing this high. The adrenaline is enough to make me go further, to make me want more. I’m tired of feeling how I do.”
I don’t ask her to explain. I don’t need her to because I get it. We all have our own demons we’re battling, and this is her way of silencing them. I’d be lying if I said sex doesn’t do the same for me too. When I’m inside of someone, all the hurt from losing my mom and having to deal with Mac melts away. The hurt my body and mind feel from Mac disappears too. Everything is quiet for a second, and it’s one of the best feelings in the world.
“Then lead the way, Bunny. Show me what helps.”
She nods, and I’m sure her face is still twisted up in thought even though I can’t see her clearly. But I know her. She probably thinks I didn’t watch her or keep tabs after the shit in high school, but she’s wrong. I’ve always had a weird borderline obsession with her, and I’ve always kept an eye on her. At least while she’s been in Bexley. I don’t know if it’s because I actually like her or because I know it would piss my dad off. Sure, I would hate for him to find out because I know what will happen if he does, but just knowing I have something over him—something he forbid me to do in my arsenal—brings me fucking joy.
She tugs the front of my jeans, letting my belt buckle clink into the dark, then
leads me to a bed. She turns quickly and pushes me down. When my back hits the mattress, I perch myself on my elbows, and she climbs on top of me. Her head dips, and her lips meet my neck. I let my head fall back so she can taste my skin all she wants. When her teeth sink into the side of my throat, a low growl leaves my mouth.
“Fuck, Lydia.”
I can feel the smile hit her lips as she continues nipping my skin. Her hands move to the bottom of my shirt and lift it, pulling it until it’s over my head and off. Her fingers trail my abs, and then she leans down and replaces them with her tongue. Every time the warm wetness from her mouth hits my skin, my body shivers.
She raises up and reaches behind her, undoing the ties to her shirt. “This stays between us, Carter.”
I wink and rest my hands behind my head, watching her undress even more. “Whatever you say, Bunny.”
She rolls her eyes, and it sets something inside me off. I grab her by the waist and flip her so our position is changed and she’s below me. I reach behind her and unclasp her bra, then rip it from her chest. She is lying beneath me, almost breathless, her chest completely bare, and it makes my cock ache.
“When you come, call out my name.” I lean down and latch my mouth around her nipple.
A gasp escapes her as I suck and flick it with my tongue, then move down her body. I kiss my way to her waist, then unbutton her pants and pull them down her thighs. When the tight fabric stops at her ankles, I unclasp the buckles of her heels and remove them. I let her pants fall to the floor with one last tug, then stand and push the waist of my own pants down and release my cock. I stroke myself with one hand as she turns over and puts her ass in the air.
“Don’t want to look at me as I fuck you?” I question, palming her ass with my free hand.
“I hate you, remember?” she responds.
I let out a laugh, then glide my finger over her slit from behind. She’s soaked. “Your pussy says otherwise.”
She hooks her heels behind my knees and pulls me closer to her so the head of my cock is nudging her entrance. “Lust and hate run hand in hand, Carter, and my pussy is a traitorous bitch. Just because she’s ready and wanting doesn’t mean I all of a sudden love you.”
I lean down and brush the hair from over her ear. “That’s what they all say before I’m done,” I whisper.
Not letting her reply, I push inside of her. Her walls squeeze around me as I inch my way deeper. When I’m all the way in, I have to stop and compose myself. I’ll be damned if I bust within two seconds because of a tight cunt.
I grab her hips and hold her in place, giving her time to adjust before I gently pull out and push back in. She arches her back more and reaches out to grip the side of the bed. Over and over, I pull out and push back in, praying to whatever god I can that I don’t come.
When the sensation is too much, I pull out again and drop to my knees. I lean forward and let my tongue skim her slit. Her legs quiver slightly as she spreads her knees further apart. Her juices coat my tongue, and I swallow her taste. “You’re sweet, Bunny. Who would have thought someone so fucking rotten would taste like candy?”
She throws one leg to the side and flips herself over. “Stop talking, Carter. I don’t care about your words. I just want your dick.”
My lips turn up with a smile as I stand. “Take it, then,” I state, pointing to my crotch.
Her lips mirror mine with a smile before she bites her bottom lip. She stands and grabs me by the shoulders, then throws me back onto the bed. Her knees straddle me as she hovers over me. “How about you scream my name when you come,” she sasses, seating herself onto my cock.
Her hips move up and down, then side to side as her nails dig into my chest. I suck in a hissing breath and grip the top of her thighs. “Slow down.”
Her movements don’t halt as she reaches for my face. “I’m tired of being told what to do.”
Her fingers sink into my cheeks as she leans down and presses her lips to mine. Her kiss is more aggressive than before, but I’m not complaining. I’m enjoying this shit too much. She finally slows when she breaks our kiss, but she stays leaning over me, grinding her clit into my pelvis.
I run my hand down her back and press my palm to the small of her back. “Better than your hand, isn’t it?”
It seems my words are all she needed to be sent over the edge. She can say she doesn’t want to hear me talk all she wants, but whispering seemingly innocent yet dirty things into girls’ ears as they fuck you always gets to them. Always.
Her pussy squeezes around me, and that’s all I need to come too. I grab her hips and lift her, letting her ride the wave of her own orgasm as I come all over my stomach. I set her onto my thighs and smile when she looks at the mess we made.
The room is silent, with nothing but our quiet pants filling it. I watch as her eyes turn from glassy slits to full-blown saucers. Almost like she’s barely realizing what we’ve done, she opens her mouth to speak. “We shouldn’t have done this.”
She leaps from on top of me and gathers her clothes from the floor. I use the blanket under me to wipe the cum from my stomach, then stand with her and pull up my pants. “Scared of big bad Mac?”
If he’s warned me to stay away from her, I’m sure he’s told her the same thing.
Her eyes shoot to mine as she shakes her head. “Leave it alone, Carter. I’m not fucking your dad, and I’m not fucking you.”
“Not fucking me? What do you call what we just did?”
“A fucking mistake.”
I place my hand on my chest. “Ouch.”
She shakes her head again as she pulls her pants up and slips her tank top on, then dashes from the room with her corset and shoes in hand. I scoff and gather my shirt from the floor and throw it on.
She’ll be back for more. I know it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
LYDIA
I stretch my arms out beside me and groan as the wrath of the headache hits me. I sit up and reach for my phone on my nightstand. I don’t even remember coming home last night, so it’s no surprise it’s dead from not being plugged in.
I grab the charger cord from the floor and plug it in, then lie back down and pull my comforter over my head. I don’t even get time to drift back off to sleep before I hear the bathroom door open. I curse under my breath and peek my head out from the blanket.
Carter is walking from the doorway toward my bed shirtless. He stops by the nightstand and sets a glass of water and two white pills down. “Figured you could use these.”
I pick up the Tylenol and pop them into my mouth, then swallow them down with some water. “Since when did you turn into the caring stepbrother?”
He scoffs. “Since I was all up in you last night.”
I laugh and return back to the comfort under my blanket. “Whatever. I told you before you and I will never happen.”
“So, we’re acting like last night was some sort of dream? Suit yourself. I can get pussy from another bitch with daddy issues if I want it.”
His comment catches me off guard as he walks back to the bathroom door and closes it with him on the other side. I want to scream and throw back he’s the one with daddy issues, but I know the headache won’t like that. I sift through the blurry memories of last night, trying to figure out what exactly happened, and then it hits me.
“You’re sweet, Bunny. Who would have thought someone so fucking rotten would taste like candy?”
“No,” I whisper to myself, not wanting to believe it, but my mind finally clears every last picture floating inside.
His hands on my body… Him standing in front of me naked, clearly proud of his dick… His lips on mine… I reach for my neck and find it bare, which does nothing but solidify it. I slept with Carter. And my locket is gone.
I leap from my bed and find the jeans I wore on the floor. When I frantically slip my hand inside the back pocket, I feel the small silver chain. I yank it out and clasp it back in place around my neck, but the relief I feel is short-
lived. Every other emotion comes slamming into my body.
I. Slept. With. Carter.
My stomach starts to turn, all my muscles seem to turn to stone, and my heart rate quickens. What if Mac finds out? At this point, I couldn’t give a fuck less what he thinks or if he tries to withhold a fucking orgasm. I’m more worried about him letting all my secrets out. People in Bexley Falls are cruel, and my mom doesn’t need to be known as the slut’s mother. She doesn’t deserve that.
I pull some clothes from my closet, then stomp to the bathroom and start the shower. I make sure the door to Carter’s room is locked, then undress. I stand under the water and let it wash him off me along with the lingering smell of liquor. I rinse my hair quickly, then squeeze some soap on a loofah and get to work on my body.
I inspect every inch of myself as I scrub and practically scream when I notice the four small, round bruises forming on the right side of my hip. I grab myself, letting my fingers fall on top of each purple mark. They line up almost perfectly.
“Great,” I say out loud like someone can hear me rant.
I rinse the soap from my body and step out before I wrap myself in a towel and retreat back to my room.
When I close the door behind me, my phone finally comes to life and pings. I step to my nightstand and see sixteen texts from Carmen and even more missed calls. I scroll down all of them and notice over half are drunk rambles, and the other half are questions about where I went. The time stamp shows they were sent at 3:00 a.m. which means I probably didn’t make it home till a couple of hours later.
“Fuck,” I curse when I see the time at the top left corner. It’s already one o’clock, and I’m supposed to be at work at two.
I send her a quick text saying I got a ride home from Carter because I got too drunk and ask her why she ended up drinking and if she made it home safely. Once it shows delivered, I run to my closet, grab my uniform, and throw it on before hurrying out my bedroom door, down the stairs, and out the front. And just my luck, I pat my pockets for my keys and notice they’re nowhere on me.