Nilda followed behind Aunt Rosario and Frankie. Outside it was hot and muggy; the streets were crowded with people.
“Let’s walk to the subway, kids; it’s faster,” said Aunt Rosario. They walked along and Nilda glanced at the newspaper headlines as they passed the newsstand.
GERMANY TO SURRENDER
HITLER FLEES!
AXIS RETREATS
WAR TO END WITHIN 24 HOURS
A radio was blaring from an open lunch stand, and Nilda heard the newscaster talking about the end of the war and the signing of a peace treaty. She stepped down a stairway quickly, and all three headed for the subway train.
That night Nilda had a feeling of emptiness, making her exhausted. She felt that she would never see her mother again and that today was the last time they would ever speak. She had her window open and a cool breeze swept through the room. It had cooled down some, she thought, and remembered that tomorrow was school; she had an English test and she had not prepared for it. Too tired to really care, she fell asleep and dreamed she heard her mother calling her in a whisper.
“Nilda! … Nilda!”
She opened her eyes and felt someone’s hand on her shoulder, gently shaking her. It was Victor. Sitting up, she looked at him.
“Nilda, wake up, honey,” he said. “Mamá is dead; she died this morning at two a.m.”
May 1945
A few days later
Victor, Paul and Jimmy greeted people at the door as they walked in to pay their respects. Aunt Rosario was busy mingling with everyone, making sure that each person was offered and given food. The apartment was crowded with friends and neighbors.
They had all worked, preparing lemonade, coffee, cocoa and tea, and had set out an assortment of crackers, cheese and cookies.
“Yes, thank you; it is a great loss to us all,” Aunt Rosario said to a neighbor.
“She was so young,” said an older woman dressed in black.
“Yes,” added another woman, “and she looked so beautiful laid out in the coffin, just like in real life; it is amazing how they can do that.” Nilda listened to the conversation as she helped to clear up the dirty cups, spoons and dishes.
“It has cooled down,” said Aunt Rosario.
“The rain is good for something,” said a man who was sipping a cup of coffee. “It has cooled down things, so now it’s not too hot.”
“Yes indeed.”
“Uh huh,” they all agreed.
“That was a lovely funeral, Rosario,” said a neighbor. “All those flowers. And they do a lovely job at that place; I had my uncle buried through them and they did a fine job.”
“Well, we did the best we could, you know,” Aunt Rosario answered.
Nilda walked by them, her hands full of dirty dishes. She walked past Aunt Delia, who had placed herself in a large armchair in the middle of the living room, with her paper spread open and read to herself, moving her lips and uttering shocking comments. She ignored people when they tried to greet her, and only when someone shouted in her ear did she acknowledge their presence with a polite nod. Nilda remembered what Aunt Delia had said. She had been furious with Aunt Rosario ever since her mother died. “I don’t trust that Rosario,” she had told Nilda. “She has always been rotten, even in Puerto Rico, when she was little. And I am going to get a big lock and shut up my room.” That afternoon she had come into Nilda’s room and shown her a padlock with a large key. “See, I am going to put this on my door, keep it locked; that way Rosario cannot come inside and take my things.”
Nilda was still upset when she remembered that Aunt Delia would be going away and she would not live with her anymore. “She cannot live with me, Nilda,” Aunt Rosario had said. “She’s too crazy. I am not Lydia. Only your mother could put up with her, because she was a saint! But not me! I don’t want my marriage to be broken up by that crazy old woman. Now, I’ve got her a wonderful place in this Catholic home, where she has a room and everything, and the nuns can look after her. She’s gonna stay with a family till September and then we can put her in; we’re lucky to get such a place!” Victor and Aunt Rosario had made all the arrangements; despite her protests, Nilda realized that there was nothing she could do.
She walked out of the living room and headed toward the kitchen. “Nilda!” she heard someone call. Turning, she saw her brother Jimmy coming to her. “Come over here, baby.” She walked over and he put his arm around her. “This here is my old buddy; I want you to meet him. Jojo, this here is my kid sister, the only girl in our tribe, man.”
“Hello, Nilda, how you doing?” A tall man with a pencil-thin mustache smiled at her. He was dressed impeccably in a brand-new suit.
“Hi,” Nilda said, feeling awkward as she held on to the pile of dirty dishes. He smelled heavily of toilet water and fresh-scented soap.
“He’s gonna help me get started again, honey,” Jimmy said. “Look, I got a little favor to ask. Can we use your room, baby? So we can discuss a little business and straighten out a few things. It’s the only empty room now, and … do me a favor, don’t come in for a while? If anybody wants to go in, tell them not to. All right?”
“Sure,” Nilda said. Both men left, going down the long narrow hallway to her room. She had not heard Jimmy talk like that since he had gotten home. He had been quiet and withdrawn, mostly keeping to himself. He sounds like he used to, thought Nilda. She walked into the kitchen. Claudia was by the sink, washing dishes.
Nilda began to pile the dirty dishes into the sink. “Want me to wash for a while, Claudia?” she asked.
“Yeah, thanks, Nilda,” Claudia said. “I’ll dry them.”
Nilda turned on the water and began to wash the dishes. “I wonder where that Frankie is?” she asked.
“He left with Roberto to get some glue for his new model airplane,” said Claudia.
“He never helps,” said Nilda, annoyed.
“Forget my brother Roberto. Mamá never asks him to do nothing. He’s a spoiled brat. And they won’t be back for a while, I bet you, leaving us the dirty work.”
They worked quickly, washing and drying the dishes.
Paul walked in. “Whew,” he said, “they’re finally beginning to leave. Man, it was too packed in there. How are you two doing?”
“Okay,” said Nilda. “We got all the dishes done. But you know what, Paul? That Frankie didn’t help; he left with Roberto!”
“You know he’s a knucklehead anyway, don’t you?” Paul said, smiling at her. “We doing all right without him. Right?”
She smiled at Paul; she had been much happier since he had come home. “Too bad you have to leave tomorrow, Paul,” she said.
“I’m gonna be coming back sometime this summer. I told you, didn’t I? We’re gonna go to the movies. How’s that?”
“Hey,” asked Claudia, “who’s that tall man dressed so sharp?”
“What man?” asked Paul.
“Oh,” Nilda said, “he’s with Jimmy, but we don’t know him.”
Aunt Rosario walked in. “I sent Willie for more cookies a long time ago, and when he gets here there’s gonna be nobody. Everybody left. I wonder what happened to him? Probably got caught in the rain,” she said, and began to fill a tray with cheese and crackers. “Okay, this should be the last of it,” she said, walking out of the kitchen.
“Let’s go see who’s out there. We’re finished here,” Nilda said. Paul, Claudia and Nilda walked into the living room.
Aunt Delia still sat in the armchair, reading to herself. Victor spoke to several neighbors who were getting ready to leave. Leo and Concha were standing off to the side, talking to Aunt Rosario. Nilda walked over to them and, tapping Leo on the arm, asked, “Did you ask her, Leo?” He looked at Nilda and then at Aunt Rosario.
“She’s not going anywhere with you, at any time,” Aunt Rosario said firmly, staring at Leo.
“Well, Rosario, if you change your mind—”
“I don’t change my mind,” she interrupted.
“Look, Rosa
rio,” Leo said, raising his voice slightly, “I’m not going to argue with you, but after all—”
“After all nothing!” Aunt Rosario shouted.
“I have a right to see her,” he said loudly.
“You have a right to nothing here!” Aunt Rosario screamed.
“You lost your rights. Don’t talk to me about rights. Years ago you gave them all up. Lydia … Lydia knew that, and now I know that, Leo! No rights at all—none!” Victor left the people he was speaking to and walked over to Rosario, putting his arm around her. Leo stared at Rosario angrily, then glanced at Victor and looked away. The room was silent; Nilda watched as Aunt Delia put down her papers. The neighbors stood by the entrance of the living room, looking her way.
“She’ll come to me when she is older,” Leo said very softly.
“One has to earn love in this world, Leo. You don’t get anything for nothing,” Aunt Rosario said quietly but firmly.
“You don’t know what the circumstances were then, Rosario,” Leo protested.
“But I know what they are now, don’t I? Lydia died alone, Leo. And I know all about the circumstances now.”
The front door opened abruptly and Willie, Rosario’s husband, walked in, holding a paper shopping bag. “I’m soaking wet. It’s raining very heavy outside,” he said.
Going toward him and ignoring Leo and Concha, Aunt Rosario took the shopping bag. “Let’s go to the kitchen, Willie. I’ll make you some fresh coffee.” She went to the neighbors and, smiling, said, “Stay and have some more coffee. Yes?”
“No, thank you. We have to leave.”
“Nonsense, you stay,” she said.
“No, thank you very much.” They exchanged good-byes and left.
Nilda was standing and remained silent; she didn’t know what to say to Leo and Concha. Claudia had left, following Rosario to the kitchen.
Victor spoke to them. “Tonight I go to Connecticut. I have only three days’ leave left; I’ll be back day after tomorrow, then back to the base, and then back to civilian life again.”
“Well, that’s wonderful,” said Concha. “Good luck to you and the very best. When you come back to the Barrio, you have to have supper with us and let us meet that beautiful girl of yours.”
“All right,” Victor said, smiling and blushing.
“Well, son,” Leo said, extending his hand, “you know where I am. If you should need anything at any time, I will always be available.” Turning toward Nilda, he said in a very low voice, “Nilda, listen, honey. I will see you soon. Your aunt is upset, but don’t fight with her; after a while, she will let you come and visit us. So don’t worry. Everything is all right and everything will be fine.” Reaching into his trouser pocket, he pulled out a dollar bill. “Here, nena, buy yourself something from me.” He put the paper money in her hand and kissed her on the cheek.
“Thank you, Leo,” she said.
“Okay. Now, you be good and listen to your aunt.” Turning to Concha, he said, “Okay, let’s go.”
Concha kissed Nilda. “Remember,” she said, “you know where we are.” Nilda nodded and watched as they left the apartment.
“Looks like everybody’s left,” Victor said. “I better get packed; I gotta catch the train out to Bridgeport.”
“Victor! Come here and look at this,” Aunt Delia called out. “You too, Nilda.” She jumped out of her armchair and held out her newspaper. “Look, see what I told you? Here in this article, they explain it all. You can read, can’t you? Right in a hospital in the City of New York, in the United States of America, they gave this man the wrong operation and he died. Now you tell me nothing happened to Lydia? This is proof. I knew she was fine; there was nothing wrong with her. Only,” and lowering her voice, shifting her head in the direction of the kitchen, she went on, “that woman Rosario would not tell me anything because she knew I would stop what they were doing.”
“Mamá was sick,” Victor said.
“What? What did you say?” the old woman asked, cupping her ear.
“I said,” Victor shouted in her ear, “Mamá was sick and she had to go to the hospital.”
“Oh, no,” Aunt Delia shook her head. “Nilda, you tell him because you know the truth. No, sir! Indeed not! The enemy are everywhere … don’t be so stupid.”
Nilda looked at Victor and they both shrugged.
“I have to go to Connecticut, Titi Delia. I have to leave now.”
“Okay, go ahead,” Aunt Delia said indignantly.
“I’ll see you day after tomorrow. I’ll be back. Please don’t fight with Rosario or anybody; please be good, okay? Give me a kiss.” Aunt Delia smiled and gave him a loud kiss on the cheek. “No more fights, okay?”
“I only tell the truth,” she said, and closing her newspaper, left the room, muttering to herself and shaking her head.
“You see, Nilda?” Victor said. “Now who is gonna put up with that? Nobody. In fact, I feel sorry for the nuns in that home; she’s gonna drive them nuts.” Nilda burst out laughing. Victor laughed, too.
They heard someone at the front door and went to see who it was. Jimmy was standing with the door ajar and calling out, “I’ll meet you on 110th Street, in the candy store on the corner, Jojo. Take care, man, and keep it cool … and thanks!” Closing the door, Jimmy saw Nilda and Victor. “Everybody left, I guess, huh?”
Before Nilda could answer, Victor took her arm and said, “Let’s go to the kitchen, Nilda, and see where Aunt Rosario is.” Nilda could see that Victor was angry.
Aunt Rosario, Claudia, Willie and Paul were in the kitchen. “You leaving now, Victor?” asked Aunt Rosario.
“Soon. Anything you want me to do?”
“No. Victor, who was that man with Jimmy?” she asked. “That bird all dressed up like a movie star or something! I don’t like his looks.”
“I don’t know and I don’t care. Don’t bother yourself about Jimmy. That’s his affair, not ours,” Victor said angrily.
“That boy is on parole,” Aunt Rosario said, “and after what his mother went through getting a lawyer and going down to see him, I don’t want him to get into trouble again. Especially with the drugs,” she paused.
“Well, he’s on his own,” Victor said. “You worry about Nilda; we can take care of ourselves.”
“Well,” said Aunt Rosario, “I worry anyway. I know Frankie will join the Air Force after this term. He already promised me he would finish this year. But Jimmy … I don’t know what I can do for him.”
“Don’t bother yourself about it, Titi Rosario,” Victor said.
“I can only do the best I can, but after all,” she said.
“Look,” said Paul, “you do the best you can, Aunt Rosario; like Victor says, worry about Nilda. But don’t be so hard on Jimmy. Especially you, Victor. Man, it must be hard to come back after such a long time, and be sick, and now the family is split up. Maybe you are all jumping to conclusions and—”
“I was away, too,” interrupted Victor, “and I was lucky to get back at all and in one piece. It’s not easy for anyone; he’s not the only one with problems.”
“Man,” Paul said softly. “Victor, take it easy on him.”
“Like he took it easy on Mamá!” Victor shouted. Everyone stared at Paul and Victor and said nothing.
After a while, Willie said, “Hey, Lady Rosario? Where’s my fresh coffee? I have to have something to drink with all them cookies I got.” He smiled and everyone laughed with relief.
“You’re right,” said Aunt Rosario. “Victor? Tell me what time you coming back here, because we gotta talk to the landlord of the building.”
“As soon as I have the time schedule I’ll let you know,” Victor said.
“We already pay for this month’s rent,” Aunt Rosario said. “Nilda and Frankie only got a few weeks of school left, so I can take them out a little early, and meanwhile they can manage till then. Also, I got a moving company coming. You have to look for what you might need. Extra dishes, pots, linens, some of th
e things your mamá had, because I don’t need that much extra. And you will be setting up house in Connecticut, so maybe you can bring your girl …”
Nilda suddenly felt very tired; she slowly left the kitchen, going to her room.
“Where you going, Nilda?” she heard Claudia calling.
“To my room; I feel very tired.”
“Can I come?”
“Sure, Claudia.”
“You know what, Nilda?” Claudia said as she walked with Nilda into her room. “My mother said she’s gonna get us matching bedspreads and curtains when you come to live with us, just like sisters.”
“Really?” Nilda said. “That’s nice.”
“Oh, look at all those nice drawings, Nilda,” Claudia said. “Maybe we can hang some of them up in our room, too.”
“You like them, Claudia?” Nilda asked.
“Oh, sure. I always wished I could draw like you, honest. You draw great,” Claudia said, smiling. “Can I see some more?”
“Oh,” Nilda said, “it’s nothing really.”
“Sure it is. Let me see some more,” Claudia said.
“Well, if you really would like to see them, I got some older ones here,” Nilda said happily. “Let me show you.” Opening her closet door, she pulled out a large box and, digging inside, took out a drawing pad. “Now, these drawings are ones that I made when I was a little kid; they’re of a camp I went to once.” Holding up the pad excitedly, she pointed to the drawing on the page. “Here’s the cabin where we all slept; there were eight of us. And that’s the inside here; that’s my bed, and,” Nilda turned the page, “here is a special trail in the woods. You see how it winds … well, that trail leads to a secret garden.”
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