I could clearly see where Joe’s pen had gone through the paper when he’d added to the list so long ago.
CAN’T SPEAK SPANISH! - Well, still got a long way to go but we can chat in Spanish quite easily now.
TOO MANY FLIES! - He was dead right about that! Our record stands at 72 flies swatted in one sitting.
MOVING HOUSE IS THE PITS! - Yes, it is, but as we aren’t moving again, who cares?
We are still in contact with Glennys and Ken. They send frequent emails describing their latest house swaps: other parts of Australia, New Zealand, Vietnam... Rob, their son, is touring Australia with his family in a motorhome. It seems travelling is in the family blood.
Judith remains a good friend of ours. She has another dog she’s named ‘Invisible’. So now she has nine and a ‘Half’ and one that’s ‘Invisible’. She always said she’d never have ten.
Mother celebrated her ninetieth birthday recently. She is frail, but still fashion-conscious and feisty. The aroma of Chanel No.5 and herbal cigarettes linger wherever she goes.
Old Sancho is sadly missed. His walking stick still leans in a corner of the shop, gathering cobwebs. His black cat now follows Marcia all the time. She scolds it when it winds around her feet and trips her up, but she never pushes it away. Last spring the cat had a liason with a battle-scarred old tom in the village. Marcia gave us one of the resulting kittens, and we’ve named him ‘Sancho’. Marcia approves. Little Sancho is the bane of Thief Cat’s life, pestering the poor old thing when she wants to sleep, but he’s a source of constant delight to us.
On very quiet evenings, I sometimes hear a strange but familiar sound. Soft footsteps are shuffling up the street. Little Sancho hears it, too. He stops chasing Thief Cat’s tail and pricks up his ears. It sounds like ‘tap, tap, paaarp, tap, tap, paaarp’ approaching. I smile. Old Sancho is taking his evening stroll.
Sometimes the ship’s bell rings, but there is no-one there. I know it is Pepa, coming for eggs and to tell me the latest village gossip.
Kurt drops by occasionally. “Ja, this is a good house,” he says, looking round. “You haf done good verk.”
The Gin Twins visit every year, sometimes twice. They bring welcome gifts of Marmite, English books and news from our former life. Gin sales at the city supermarket always soar at this time.
Geronimo continues to be employed by the council. He’s also been appointed as a kind of village police officer. It’s probably fortunate that El Hoyo isn’t a crime hotspot. He has a brand new Real Madrid scarf, and has tied the old one to his television aerial. It unfurls in the wind, flapping above the village roofs, a banner and reminder of his beloved football team.
Uncle Felix visits us every February to supervise the pruning of our vine. He’s a little more bent every year and has lost his last two remaining teeth, but his mule still adores him.
Great Aunt Elsa has pride of place above the mantlepiece. She continues to watch over us and is much admired by the villagers.
We only have six chickens now. As before, we rarely eat eggs as they get given away faster than the chickens can lay them.
El Hoyo continues to thrive. Some more new houses have sprung up and there are fresh faces in the village. EEC money has paid for a better road down the mountain to the city, cutting the journey by half.
Paco and Carmen-Bethina still live next door. Paco’s face is a little more lined and leathery, and Carmen-Bethina is rounder, but they never really change. Joe and I are always welcome, but still referred to as ‘The English’. Little Paco has grown tall and attends the High School. His favourite subject is football. Sofía has a boyfriend, but assures her parents he isn’t ‘The One’.
But Paco and Carmen-Bethina now have their dearest wish; at last they have become proud grandparents. The wife of Diego, their eldest son, recently gave birth to a little girl. This baby, together with others born to village families ensure the future of El Hoyo.
And so life goes on...
If you enjoyed Chickens, I’d be eternally grateful if you could give it a review here.
Thank you! ~ Victoria aka Beaky
So, what happened next?
Turn the page for a preview of the sequel,
Two Old Fools ~ Olé!
Never believe that life in a tiny Spanish mountain village is predictable. Vicky and Joe have finished fixing up their house and look forward to peaceful days enjoying their retirement. Then the fish van arrives, and instead of delivering fresh fish, disgorges the Ufarte family. The peace of El Hoyo is shattered.
(PREVIEW from Two Old Fools ~ Olé!)
1 The Fish Van
Spanish Roasted Tomato Salad
Olive Oil Infusions
Joe and I were in the kitchen, drinking coffee and feeling deliciously smug. It was a Monday morning in April and we were remembering what Mondays used to bring, back in the grey old days, before we moved to Spain.
“We’re so lucky, aren’t we?” I said. “In England, we would’ve been getting ready to go to work. You’d have been stressing about getting your uniform sorted, or paperwork prepared. And I’d be planning my lessons and worrying about getting reports done, or staff meetings, or whatever.”
Joe nodded. “Yep! Instead, we’re sitting here, listening to the cuckoo in the valley and Geronimo’s donkey singing to his girlfriend in the next village. I might even start writing my book soon.”
I was unconvinced. Not a word of Joe’s masterpiece had been committed to either paper or word-processor as yet. His book was a bit of a standing joke.
One of the chickens launched into her Egg Song, the triumphant announcement that another egg had just been introduced into the world.
“And new-laid eggs for breakfast,” I said.
I sighed, the self-satisfied sigh of the truly content. Five years had passed since we’d left England behind and set up home in El Hoyo. Five years of living in a crazy, tiny mountain village, miles away from the nearest big town.
I stole a glance at Joe across the kitchen table. When you’ve been living with somebody for a long time, you can sense when something is bothering him. Joe was deep in thoughts of his own.
“You are glad we decided to stay in Spain, aren’t you?” I asked, after a pause.
“Of course I am! It’s a wonderful life here.”
“Then what are you thinking about?”
“Nothing. It’s just that sometimes I...”
“Sometimes you what?”
Joe held his hand up, a signal for me to remain silent. “Shh, Vicky... Is that the fish van?” he asked, a puzzled expression creasing his brow.
I stopped and listened. I could hear birds, the chickens scratching outside and, yes, the distant familiar hoot of the fish van.
“That’s odd,” I said. “The fish van doesn’t usually come on a Monday in April. There aren’t enough people in the village to buy fish. Let’s take our coffee up to the roof terrace and look.”
“You’re so nosy,” said Joe, but he followed me just the same, and picked up the binoculars on the way.
On the far side of the valley, we could see the white fish van wending its way down the twisting mountain road, horn beeping to announce its arrival as it always did. But it was not alone, it headed a procession. The convoy consisted of three vehicles. First the fish van, then a largish truck with canvas sides and finally a black minibus. Any traffic in the village during the week was unusual, but a convoy?
“What is that writing on the side of the truck?” I asked.
Joe focused the binoculars and concentrated. “Er, I think it says, ‘Ufarte’ and ‘Almería’.”
We digested this gem of information in silence.
“Ufarte?” I repeated at last. “Are you sure?”
“Yep, quite sure. Ufarte.”
As the three vehicles entered the village, all three drivers leaned on their horns and wound down their windows allowing three different sets of music to blare out into the valley.
Joe and I exchanged glances. W
ho were these people? What were they doing in our village? We had a bird’s eye view from our roof terrace and we froze in horror as the raucous convoy thundered past the village square, turned into our street, and parked below, right outside our house…
See Two Old Fools ~Olé! on Amazon
Books by Victoria Twead
All Victoria Twead’s books on Amazon
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Chickens, Mules and Two Old Fools
Two Old Fools ~ Olé!
Two Old Fools on a Camel (NYT bestseller)
Two Old Fools in Spain Again (2014)
The Complete Old Fools Trilogy
How to Write a Bestselling Memoir
Morgan and the Martians (children’s play)
Mouth-Watering Spanish Recipes
Horizon Fever by AE Filby (Victoria’s uncle’s adventures)
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Recipe Index
Grumpy’s Garlic Mushrooms Tapa
Spicy Mediterranean Dip
Bethina’s Ham, Tomato & Garlic Toasts
Crispy Potatoes in Spicy Tomato Sauce
Spanish Spinach
Spanish Potato Salad
Vegetable Kebabs
Summer Pork with Sherry
Paco’s Sangria
Carmen-Bethina’s Poor Man’s Potatoes
Barbecued Sardines
Asparagus Salad
Chicken and Prawn Paella
Spicy Almonds with Paprika
Catalan Chicken and Chorizo Stew
Winning Rice Pudding Recipe
Paco’s Rabbit Stew
Warming Winter’s Brunch
Chickpeas and Chorizo
Mediterranean Eggs
Beef in Fruit Sauce (Ecuadorian Recipe)
Colin’s Spanish Omelette
Tuna with a Spicy Sauce
Spanish Cauliflower and Paprika
Tuna and Egg Salad
Marinated Anchovies
Gazpacho (Cold Tomato Soup)
Summer Baked Potatoes
Creamy Pork and Paprika
Baked Peppers
Spinach and Mackerel Toasts
Chicken with Tomato
Scrambled Eggs with Ham
Spanish Meatballs
Sticky Toffee Pudding
Grumpy’s Garlic Mushrooms Tapa
Champiñones al Ajillo
Serves 4
50ml (2 fl oz) extra virgin olive oil
250g (8oz) fresh mushrooms (sliced)
4-6 cloves of garlic (chopped or sliced)
3 tablespoons dry Spanish sherry
2 tablespoons lemon juice
Large pinch of dried chili flakes
Large pinch of paprika
Salt, freshly ground pepper
Chopped parsley to garnish
Heat the oil in a frying pan and fry the mushrooms over a high heat for 2 or 3 minutes. Stir constantly.
Lower the heat and add the garlic, lemon juice, sherry, salt and pepper.
For a milder flavour you can leave it at that if you like. But if you like a few ‘fireworks’, now is the time to add the dried chili and paprika as well.
Cook for another 5 minutes or so until the garlic and mushrooms have softened, then remove from the heat.
Sprinkle with chopped parsley and divide up into pre-heated little dishes.
Serve with plenty of fresh, crusty bread to mop up the seriously garlicky juices.
Note: Tapa means ‘lid’ or ‘cover’ in Spanish. It’s thought that the name originally came from the practice of placing slices of meat on top of a sherry glass, to keep out flies. The meat, often ham or chorizo, was characteristically salty, inducing thirst. Bartenders saw this and began serving a variety of tapas which increased alcohol sales. Thus a new tradition was born.
Back to The Five Year Plan
Spicy Mediterranean Dip
A mildly spicy, smooth, light dip perfect for an aperitif or buffet.
1 large jar of chickpeas (not dried)
175 ml (6 fl oz) olive oil
Salt
1 teaspoon pepper
2 tablespoons cumin
2 teaspoons hot paprika
Place the chickpeas and the olive oil into a large bowl and blend into a smooth puree.
Add the salt and pepper and the cumin and blend again. It’s important to taste as you go, adding more cumin as necessary. Pour into a dish, sprinkling the top with a little more cumin and the hot paprika. Then place in the freezer for about 10 minutes to set slightly.
Serve with slices of raw carrot, cucumber, peppers and celery.
Back to Judith, Mother and Kurt
Bethina’s Ham, Tomato & Garlic Toasts
Jamón, tomate y ajo con pan
Slices of bread (baguette, cut diagonally)
1 clove garlic, cut in half
1 very ripe tomato
Slices of jamon serrano or ham of your choice
Extra virgin olive oil
Preheat the grill.
Toast the bread and, while still warm, rub with the halved garlic to flavour the slices.
Then rub the bread with the halved tomato. Squeeze in as much of the flesh as you can.
Sprinkle with a pinch of salt and some freshly-ground pepper.
Drizzle with some extra virgin olive oil and top it off with the ham.
Back to Signed and Sealed
Crispy Potatoes in Spicy Tomato Sauce
Patatas Bravas
Serves 4
1 kg (2 lb) potatoes, peeled, and cut into 2cm (1in) inch cubes
1 small onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, crushed
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
500g (1lb) tomatoes
3 teaspoons (paprika)
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme
1 teaspoon tomato puree
Olive oil, for frying
Chopped parsley to garnish
Par-boil the potatoes for 5 to 10 minutes. Drain the water. Let the steam evaporate for a minute or so and then give the pan a good shake. This roughs up the outsides nicely. Set aside.
Prepare the tomatoes by cutting a cross in the base and plunging them into boiling water for 10 to 15 seconds. Plunge into cold water and the skin should peel away easily. Chop the tomatoes.
Fry the onion until soft. Add the garlic, paprika, thyme and cayenne pepper, then cook for another couple of minutes.
Add the chopped tomato and puree and cook, uncovered, until the sauce thickens, about 20 minutes. During cooking, add the salt and pepper to taste. If the sauce seems too dry, add a little water.
Meanwhile, re-heat the frying oil and fry the potatoes until golden brown. This gives them a crisp coating and prevents the sauce from soaking in too much. They should be beautifully crisp outside and soft and fluffy inside.
To serve, place the potatoes in a serving bowl, then cover with the spicy sauce. Sprinkle with chopped parsley.
Back to Paco and Bethina
Spanish Spinach
500g (18 oz) fresh spinach leaves
4 cloves garlic
Extra virgin olive oil
Salt
Trim the stems of the spinach and then wash the leaves by rinsing under running water to remove any dirt. Drain the spinach and pat the leaves dry with kitchen paper.
Peel and slice the garlic and then heat the oil in a large frying pan. Add the sliced garlic and sauté for a few minutes until it
begins to brown.
Add the spinach to the pan, pressing down with your hand to get it all in, then turn the spinach a few times to coat it all with garlic and olive oil.
Cover and reduce the heat and cook for a minute or so.
Turn the spinach over and cook for another minute until the spinach is nicely wilted.
Drain any excess liquid and serve immediately with an extra drizzle of olive oil and a little salt to season.
Back to The Dynamic Duo
Spanish Potato Salad
Ensaladilla
3 medium potatoes
150g (5 oz) fresh or frozen peas
120g (4 oz) green beans
1 large carrot
1 small onion
1 small red pepper
2 tablespoons green olives
2 hard boiled eggs
1 medium tomato
1 tablespoon capers
The Dressing:
200ml (7 fl oz) mayonnaise
1 teaspoon French mustard
1 tablespoon lemon juice
Peel and dice the carrot and potato. Boil the potato and carrot in water until just tender.
Add the peas and green beans and cook for a further 5 minutes until all the vegetables are cooked.
Drain and place in a large bowl or serving dish.
Peel and finely chop the onion, chop the pepper and tomato and slice the hard boiled eggs.
Add the pepper, onion, eggs, capers, tomato and olives to the other vegetables and mix together.
In a separate bowl, make the dressing by mixing together the mayonnaise, mustard and lemon juice.
Five Bestselling Travel Memoirs Box Set Page 22