by Hannah Pearl
Typical Belle, there was no jealousy, no ‘what if’s or ‘why me’s. Only joy at other people’s good news. Maybe that was why she had led me on so many adventures in the past, she was so keen to find ways to be happy and to embrace every experience that she could.
‘I’ll be back first thing tomorrow morning to see you. Love you, Belle.’
‘Love you too, Hells. Thank you for the adventure. I needed one last good day with you.’
‘It doesn’t have to be the last,’ I told her. ‘We got away with it, I think. Maybe you can dream up a plan or somewhere you fancy going next week?’
She smiled and waved slowly as I left the room.
***
It wasn’t to be.
The phone rang as I was getting dressed the next morning. Dave didn’t need to tell me who was on the line. I could see from the expression of loss on his face.
Belle was gone.
***
‘Helen, do you want your black dress ironing for the funeral?’
‘Thanks, love, but Belle would have hated everyone looking so sombre. I’m going in the red skirt that she was always borrowing. Besides, I can’t fit into the dress anymore.’
He came and sat next to me on the bed. ‘Are you okay?’
I shook my head. ‘But I have you so one day I will be. You know, I never figured out how we managed to get out of the ward without the doctors stopping us, given how ill she was.’
‘That’s why they let her out. I phoned them just after you left and warned them.’
He grinned at me, and slowly I began to laugh. It was typical. Belle and I doing our best to get into trouble, and Dave doing his best to get us out of it again.
‘You always hated waiting to see what chaos we caused.’
‘You both needed a chance to say goodbye. The doctors knew that all they could do by then was manage her pain, so if she felt well enough to go, then they were happy. I just smoothed the path.’
My husband, being my hero, yet again.
I wondered if Belle had helped to set us up all those years before because she knew that one day I would need him. I had lost my best friend, but I wasn’t on my own. I rested my head on his shoulder, knowing that I could lean on him as I tried to find a way to keep the memory of Belle, and everything that she had taught me about friendship, love and adventure, alive.
He reached into the pocket of his smartest suit jacket and pulled out a handful of pellets. Passing them to me, he kissed my cheek and stood up.
I looked at them. ‘Are we taking stink bombs to her funeral?’
‘Nope, we’re making a stop on the way. I popped into that coffee shop in town yesterday. The one you and Belle used to hate because of the grumpy manager. I was passing so I thought I’d grab a sandwich, only, as I walked in, I saw them kick out a mum because they thought her kid was too loud. The plan is, I’m going to open the door and you’re going to lob these in.’
He winked and I knew that, somewhere, Belle was smiling down on us.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
In 2014 my world shifted on its axis.
One minute I was stood at the traffic lights, about to walk to school. The next I was dizzy. That was the start of my journey, beginning with labyrinthitis and leading to my diagnosis with myalgic encephalomyelitis. ME.
For months, I could hardly stand up due to the dizziness, and even now I struggle with my health on a daily basis.
They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well, it has taken a community to raise this writer.
When I was too ill to go out, I began to read even more voraciously than I had before. And then I began to write.
Since 2014, I have relied on the kindness of others every day; on the flexibility, thoughtfulness and understanding of friends, the love and hugs from my children, and the support of my wonderful family. The help and friendship that I have been offered has given me the opportunity to write when nothing else seemed possible. I am beyond grateful to everyone who has helped me. These last few years would have been unmanageable and unthinkable without you.
I am grateful also to the judges of the Heatseeker prize and the team at Books and the City and Simon & Schuster for this incredible opportunity.
But, above all, I want to thank my husband, because, despite how tough the last few years have been, he has given me the courage to keep going and the inspiration to write about love.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hannah Pearl grew up in East London. She has worked as a researcher at a university in Leicester, as a probation service officer and, for one long summer, as a fairly inefficient barmaid. She now lives in Cambridge with her husband and two children, where she works as a fundraiser for a local charity.
First published in Great Britain by Simon & Schuster UK Ltd, 2018
A CBS company
Copyright © Hannah Pearl, 2018
This book is copyright under the Berne Convention.
No reproduction without permission.
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The right of Hannah Pearl to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
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A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
eBook ISBN: 978-1-4711-7817-7
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual people living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.