He swung to face her. “I beg your pardon?”
“Carmichael stole pieces of my jewelry and replaced them with worthless replicas over the first year of our marriage because my father was delaying paying my dowry. He thought I did not know. I did manage to save my mother’s pearls and a beautiful bracelet by hiding them.” She shrugged. “I could replace them but I didn’t see the point. I don’t go anywhere to wear them.”
She said it so matter-of-fact, but for a daughter of a duke to be thrown into a life with Carmichael…It’s a testament to her strength that she survived and was this wonderful, warm woman standing in front of him.
He didn’t say anything but he vowed he would buy her new jewels and take her somewhere she could showcase her beauty. Sapphires to match the color her eyes went when arousal cloaked her, as it did now.
He continued to undress her slowly and he took his time to touch and caress her silken skin. When he was finished and she stood before him in all her glory, he said, “You are so beautiful it hurts looking at you.”
He loved how the color swept her skin even as her lips curved in delight.
He picked her up and carried her to the bed. He placed her gently on the turned-down sheets. “Thank you.”
She frowned. “For what? It’s you who are helping me.”
He shook his head as he began to undress. “For allowing me into your bed, into your life. I am humbled and honored.”
She rose up to her knees and helped him remove his shirt. The feel of her bare breasts on his chest awoke his passions, which had been quietly simmering, into a roar.
He couldn’t wait. He sank his hands into her hair and angled her mouth so he could kiss her and show how much she aroused him.
He could not remember how he managed to remove the rest of his attire. All he could think of was how good it felt as he sank deep into her tight, hot body.
He would not last long tonight. He was tired and he wanted Penelope too much, but she was with him in his need. He could sense how close she was; her legs gripped his hips tightly and she was biting her lip to stop the sound of her moans. He loved how her body moved with his, how their union was so perfect.
He lost all awareness of time as he made slow, passionate love to her. They both watched the other, losing themselves in each other. It shook him to his inner core. He consumed her with kisses while he pleasured her with deeper and quicker strokes, his hands running all over her sweet body.
Soon he could not stop himself. He took her harder, rising on his hands above her so he could look down and watch himself plunge into her delectable body, his control slipping into oblivion. She was matching him thrust for thrust, writhing beneath him, clutching his buttocks and pulling him in to meet the greedy lift of her hips.
“Stephen, oh, God, what you do to me—please, I want to, I need to…” She whimpered as her head thrashed from side to side on the pillow.
He couldn’t answer her, half incoherent, watching her, utterly enslaved by her honesty in the throes of passion.
He strained above her, not wanting this to end. The bed shook and the room resounded with their groans and tender cries as they climaxed together. His eyes rolled back in his head as he felt her passage contract around his manhood, squeezing him with such blinding pleasure he didn’t care if he never saw again. He shuddered with profound release, feeling as if he’d flung his entire soul into hers. He collapsed on her, sated with pleasure, holding her close to his heart.
He could feel her heart pounding beneath his ear and he stroked her hair, waiting for them both to slowly come down from the heaven they’d reached together.
He slipped from her body and a wave of loneliness swept over him, so he rolled onto his side, taking her with him, gathering her once more into his arms. They lay entwined for a very long time, his eyes closing as sleep began to suck him under.
So maybe it was only a dream when she whispered the words, “Don’t ever leave me.”
Chapter 15
They slept entwined in each other’s arms and didn’t wake up until Jane entered, and with her face full of embarrassment, Jane said, “Lord Helmstone is waiting in the foyer for Lord Clevedon.”
“Thank you, Jane. Please tell Lord Helmstone that his lordship will be down shortly and then prepare a bath for me in my dressing room.”
After Jane departed, Stephen swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stretched, still tousled and sleepy-eyed. She noted every muscle move under his skin. He was beautiful to watch.
The early-morning sun lit the chamber brightly and she wished he could stay in bed with her all day. Gosh, what a wanton she had become. He made her into a wanton. She could not imagine wanting to do this with anyone but him.
That was a sobering thought given he was determined to leave her when this was all done.
He stood and moved to pick up his clothes where they lay scattered by her bed. “I suppose I shall go hunting and a-gathering then,” he mused as he dressed. He bent and placed a kiss on her lips. “Have a fun day with Dorothea but ensure you take a couple of the grooms with you.”
“Do you think I’m in danger? If so, it’s not from Rotham. He gets nothing if I die, so it must be from Jamie Stewart or the smuggler.”
“I’m not taking any chances. You ladies stay together and take the men with you.” When he reached the door he gave her one of his knee-weakening winks. “Don’t tax yourself too much. I have something planned for you tonight.”
“Will I like it?” she asked cheekily.
“Oh, yes. I expect you will love it.” And then he slipped from her room.
Love it or love him?
That was a scary thought. Penelope sighed and sat up against the pillows. She hugged herself, giddy with bliss. She had never been so happy in all her life. It was because of Stephen. He had brought the one thing that was missing from her life, joy and happiness.
Is that what it took? Did it take a man to make her complete? She’d thought the last thing she ever wanted was to share her life with a man again. But what she was experiencing now…this is what she had always wanted. A man who talked with her, not at her. A man who could laugh with her and at himself. A man who always considered her first. A man who thought of her as a friend, a confidante.
Stephen may not love her but he was an honorable man who cared for her. He treated her as if she was special. And she loved that feeling. She didn’t want to lose how she felt right now.
She didn’t have time to think on her situation because Jane came to fetch her for her bath. Jane didn’t say anything about Stephen being in her bed but Jane looked happy for Penelope.
Soon she was dressed and waiting downstairs for the carriage that would take the ladies, and the required two grooms, to town.
“You must let me buy you a present for the babe. I’m not very good at needle work,” she said to Dorothea as they rolled toward Seaford. “Mrs. Hennessey has the most gorgeous fabrics in her store. I will get my dressmaker to create something.”
Dorothea smiled at her. “It’s been wonderful meeting you. I miss my sisters and they are all so far away. It’s nice to know I have a friend so close to Jonathan and me.”
“I’m happy about that too. My life has been rather lonely up until now. I thank God for your brother. I don’t know what I would do without him.”
She hadn’t realized what she’d said until she saw Dorothea smile. “I have high hopes that you will never have to do without him again.”
Penelope couldn’t help but laugh along with her but inside she shivered.
The shopping trip was so much fun. They spent up large buying things they really didn’t need, some things for the babe and then she went to the silversmith’s while Dorothea perused fabrics for the baby’s room. She wanted to buy a new flint for Stephen as a thank-you gift.
“My lady, I have a piece I’m
working on out back. Shall I bring that out to show you?”
“Thank you, Timmons. I’ll keep looking at these two while I wait.”
No sooner had Timmons slipped behind his curtain, than Penelope felt a presence behind her. She swung around and her blood ran cold.
“Good afternoon, my lady. Isn’t it a pleasant day?”
Jamie Stewart. She looked toward the door but the groom accompanying her had his back to the store window. However, she only had to scream and he and Timmons would come running. She straightened her back and haughtily said, “It was very pleasant until meeting you.”
“I’d be a bit friendlier if I were you. I’m a man who might need some convincing to keep your secrets.”
“I have no idea what you mean.”
He smiled and she shuddered at the evil beneath. “I saw you up on the cliff the night his lordship died. Yet, according to your staff, you never left the house.”
She could barely swallow for a moment but she was not stupid. “What lies are you spouting? Who on earth would believe a word you say?”
He moved closer, fencing her in against the counter. Still, she did not call for help. She wanted to hear what he would say.
“I see you do not deny it.”
“I do not have to justify myself to the likes of you. I know what you and my husband were doing. Lord Clevedon best not find you are still engaging in the despicable trade or your neck will stretch at the end of a rope,” she warned quietly.
Stewart took a step back and some of his bravado left him. “You best keep mum about that trade or else I’ll tell Lord Clevedon where you were that night. Let’s see if you can lie to his face.”
With that, he left the store. The groomsman came racing in as he saw Jamie Stewart leave. Stewart took off toward the dock once again. “Shall I follow him, my lady?
She shook her head. “No. It does not seem that Mr. Stewart is trying too hard to hide himself. I’m sure Lord Clevedon will find him soon.” No. Stewart was not running because he thought she would not want him found, but she did. She wanted him punished for helping her husband. And she did not care if that meant she lost everything. Since recently learning what her husband had engaged in, she would never let Carmichael’s despicable trade continue in her town. To her people.
“Here it is. I polished it up first. What do you think?”
Mr. Timmons’s words brought her back to the present. She turned away from the window and looked at the gleaming flint in his hand. “Perfect, thank you.”
Once the gift had been wrapped, she took her leave and made her way back toward Mrs. Hennessey’s store to collect Dorothea.
On the carriage ride home, Dorothea showed her all the fabrics she had purchased. Penelope tried to hide the longing all the baby talk lit in her. This was why she would consider remarrying and she knew it. If she could find a man like Stephen who wanted children. There was the rub. She wanted Stephen but she wanted a family, too, and he didn’t for very good reasons.
“My brother would make a wonderful father.”
“I’d love a child but I’m not sure I can have them. I was married for six years yet…”
“Perhaps God was waiting to lead you to the right man. I suspect he wouldn’t have wanted a child to come into a household with a man like Carmichael in it.”
Her insides clenched. What did that mean? Did Jonathan know what Carmichael had been up to? Surely not. No. He’d never said a word. If he knew, did Stephen know? Why had Stephen not asked her anything? Shame washed over her and she wanted to shrink into the shadows. She’d lain with a man like Carmichael. Her stomach rolled and nausea hit as it always did when she remembered her husband.
Penelope studied Dorothea’s face but she gave nothing away. Perhaps Dorothea simply meant that Carmichael had been a brute of a man. Jonathan had called a few times when she had visible bruises.
No one could know that Carmichael preferred young girls. Had she sent Carmichael looking for them when she told him that she hated sharing his bed? She would always feel to blame. She should have known, should have stopped him…The shame of staying with a man who could do that to a child would haunt her forever. Perhaps she did not deserve to have a child of her own…If only someone had told her the truth, she could have put a stop to it years ago. She was so ashamed. What her husband did…it still made her sick to her stomach. Her hands balled into fists. She was glad he was dead.
Who would ever want a woman who had been in a man like Carmichael’s bed? A man who abused young girls. It would stay her shame and guilt to carry—no one else’s. What would society or her brother think of her if they knew the truth? She’d been ostracized once before. Ridiculed, looked down upon. She couldn’t go through that again.
“You are good for Stephen.”
She tensed. “No. It’s the other way around. He has shown me that there is still joy and happiness to be found in this world.”
“I think you have helped him understand that his eyes do not define him. That perhaps he could still be happy if he loses his sight altogether.”
Poor Dorothea. What Stephen might be showing his sister or telling her about his eyes was definitely not what he was thinking. Stephen was already planning a life away from those he loved. She did not wish to think it, but she was pretty sure he was considering doing what his father had done and ending it all. How could she tell his sister that?
“You think I am delusional. I might be, but he is my brother and I love him. I know how hard it will be for a man as vibrant as Stephen to lose his sight completely. He is so proud, as are most men of his breeding. But I live in panic every day that I will receive a message telling me he has killed himself like Father did. You have no idea what living with that fear is like. It eats at you until your soul is in pain. I will do anything to ensure I never get that message.”
She reached across and took Dorothea’s hand.
“I will try to help. I promise.”
Penelope understood living in fear very well. She would sit every night wondering what Carmichael might do to her when he arrived home or in her bedchamber. She wondered how long it would take him to work out that it would be easy to make her disappear. He could kill her and say she’d drowned in the sea or as he had, fallen off the cliff. She was sure it was only her brother, Sandringham, who kept Carmichael from killing her. She knew Sandringham had threatened him if anything happened to her.
If Carmichael had not died she wondered how long he would have waited before risking Sandringham’s wrath.
Dorothea went on. “He looked after all of us while we were growing up. Why can’t he let us reciprocate? I know what Father did hurt Stephen. He has always tried to do the right thing, hence him running off to war with His Grace, and he has pushed himself relentlessly for his country. The way Father died…I’m sure it’s not enough for him to be equal to other men. No, indeed. For his honor’s sake he had to do more, had to prove himself. He spent two years in the Greek Isles looking for Alex. Two years. He had to be dragged home when he could not find him.”
Penelope could believe that of Stephen. “He has too much pride to let anyone help him.”
“Yes. Pride. Why can’t he at least let his family help him?”
Why, indeed. Because he is a man. And men hated to depend on anyone. She grimaced. As did women, if she was honest. She would not let her brother help her and look how that turned out. She’d let herself unknowingly shelter and advance an abuser of children.
She’d stopped asking herself why no one had told her months ago. She’d always noted the way everyone had looked at her but she’d thought it was because she stayed with a man who beat her. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought they looked at her in disgust because of Carmichael and what he was doing.
“I know you love your bother, and you want to be there for him, but he has to find the thing that makes
him want to live, and live in darkness. Me, I’m such a coward that I’d prefer darkness to the unknown. Your brother, however, is courageous and I think if he finds a reason to live regardless of the issues with his sight, he’ll do it. Just don’t pin your hopes on me being the reason for him carrying on. I’m not what he is looking for.”
No. One, he does not want a child and two, once he learns the truth he might well be disgusted with her. She can’t carry responsibility for Stephen too. Her shoulders were not that strong.
“You’re wrong. You are exactly what he is looking for. I know it. You must be patient with him. He will try and push you away but don’t let him. He’s never let me meet any of his paramours, which makes you different.”
Penelope didn’t have the heart to tell her it was more likely because Dorothea was now married.
“Even Jonathan has noticed the way he looks at you.” At her puzzled frown she added, “My brother looks at you the way Jonathan looks at me.”
She was so shocked she almost choked on her sharp intake of air, but she said no more. There was nothing more to say. She inwardly sighed. She thought she’d found a new friend but how long would that friendship last if things between her and Stephen ended? Would Dorothea blame her should Stephen do the unthinkable?
* * *
—
“We are not going fishing, are we?” Stephen asked Jonathan as they mounted their horses by the stables.
“Well, fishing of a sort. D-David sent word last night just after dinner that they have found where S-Stewart is hiding. He’s living in a cave n-near Nick’s Cove near the end of the docks. I thought we sh-should pay him another visit.”
“Why did David send word to you and not me?”
Jonathan frowned. “Probably because he does not trust you. Jane is his sister. He will know you are sharing Penelope’s bed and they will not be pleased. They are very protective of her and are wondering at your intentions. They would have expected some announcement by now. As do I.”
The muscles in Stephen’s jaw tightened as he fought to snap back that it was none of their concern, only it was. They had Penelope’s best interests at heart. “Let them wonder.”
Drawn to the Marquess Page 16