What is wrong with me, she thought wonderingly. This is crazy!
When the skin of Ryan's palm touched hers and she felt the strong pressure of his fingers on her wrist, a jolt of electricity shot up her arm, so powerful that it existed in a delicious limbo between pleasure and pain.
The physical shock of it caused her to look up in surprise, and when she did, she saw that he also looked taken aback. Their eyes met, and he smiled, the dimple in full force. It was a grin so big and bright and just flat out sexy, that she got the jolt again. This time, though, it was in a place that was nowhere near as innocent as her arm.
Ryan drew his hand back slowly, trailing his fingers along the inside of her wrist and palm, never lowering the wattage on his grin, and never breaking eye contact. She heard a small gasp escape her, but was powerless to stop it.
In a far corner of her brain, she heard Amanda talking, but had to struggle to discern what she was saying.
“Ryan,” Amanda inquired, “Did you visit your grandma here in Hope Falls one summer, maybe 15 years ago?”
Ryan reluctantly tore his gaze away from Karina's, and replied, “Yes, I sure did. Great memory!”
Amanda slapped the table, “Yes, I knew it! I knew you looked familiar. Karina, Ryan was here that summer you went to music camp. I don't think you two ever met.”
“We didn't,” Ryan assured Karina, locking his eyes back onto hers, “Trust me, I wouldn't have forgotten that.”
“Well, it wouldn't have mattered,” Renata said matter of factly, “My granddaughter was very serious about her music then, as she is now. No time for young men.”
“Grandmother!” Karina hissed, embarrassed.
“Were you not expressing that sentiment only moments ago?” Renata responded placidly.
“Do you play music?” Ryan asked with interest.
Karina nodded, trying to get her bearings about her, and hoping that this turn of the conversation to music, a subject that she was more than comfortable with, would help her to get control of herself.
Sue Ann beamed as she clapped a hand on Ryan's shoulder, “Oh, Ryan plays the guitar, and he writes the most beautiful songs! I had him bring in his guitar to keep in the back, and he's been playing for my customers when it's not too busy in here! I had actually been meaning to introduce you two, because I know that you do music, and my boy here does music, so I thought you might get along real well together!”
“Oh, I think that was a great idea,” Amanda enthused, “I have a feeling they're going to get along really well together!”
Karina breathed deeply in an attempt to calm herself down, and in an attempt to distract herself from her powerful wish that the world would open up and swallow her right then and there. This was such a new feeling for her. She was used to being completely in control of situations like this. People got flustered when they met her, not the other way around! This was nuts!
Amanda said, “Ryan, are you busy tomorrow? My fiance Justin and I are helping Kar move into her new house. We could use an extra set of hands. And afterwards, pizza and beer?”
Ryan smiled widely, never taking his eyes from Karina, “Sounds like a good time. I'd love to see your new house,” he said, with an unmistakably sexy undertone to his voice.
“Great! We'll meet you here at 7. You bring the coffee. We'll bring the...well, you just bring the coffee,” Amanda laughed.
Sue Ann beamed. She was clearly happy with this turn of events. “Ryan, it's not too busy in here. Why don't you go get your guitar and play a couple of songs?” she suggested.
At this, Ryan did blush again, much like he had when Sue Ann had enthusiastically introduced him.
“I don't know, Granny...” he started, but Amanda interrupted him.
“Oh, no, Ryan, please do! We'd love to hear you!” she enthused, “Right, Karina?” she added significantly, elbowing Karina in the ribs. Ryan still looked unsure.
Karina opened her mouth to try to form some kind of clever comeback. Something that would show this gorgeous man that she was a powerful, clever, witty, strong woman. Something that would stick in his mind, make him laugh later when he remembered it, make him start to think of her in the way that she wanted to be seen.
“Um...yes...” was all she managed to get out.
However, to her surprise, this seemed to do the trick. A slow smile spread across his features, and he seemed to stand even taller than he was before. “Well, OK, then,” he said cheerfully, and disappeared into the back to get his guitar.
Amanda followed Karina's gaze, “You hate to see him go, but you love to watch him leave,” she concluded.
Karina looked over at Amanda with a stupefied gaze, “What the hell was that?” she whispered intensely, “I can't believe myself! I've never behaved like that before! He must think I'm an idiot. Why. Do. I. Care?? What is wrong with me?”
Karina slapped her palm to her forehead and Amanda laughed. “You're fine! It's infatuation. It happens to the best of us.”
Renata looked disapproving.
Karina nodded furiously, “OK, yes, that must be it. Temporary insanity. Look! Now that he's out of the room, it's disappeared completely. I think I'm fine. I'm not in trouble....I'm good!”
Ryan came out of the kitchen doors carrying his guitar and perched on a stool at the other end of the room. In one swift movement, he slipped the strap over his neck and balanced the body of the guitar on his knee. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he began to strum and pick at the strings.
Karina recognized the expression on his face, she frequently wore the exact same one. It was the look of someone lost in the music.
Just then, he opened his mouth and began to sing. His voice was gorgeous, rich and textured, and he used it expertly, exploring every layer and nuance at his disposal. Silky one minute, gravelly the next, then soaring into a falsetto that carried Karina to another world.
She felt the room around her slip away. She closed her eyes and felt his voice wash over her – warm, velvety, powerful. She felt it like a physical thing, surrounding her, and permeating her.
She didn't realize until she felt Amanda take her hand, and then felt warm drops splashing onto her forearm, that two large tears had rolled down her cheeks – she had been that transported by Ryan's voice and music, she wasn't even aware that it had made her cry.
She looked over at Amanda and her eyes widened, nearly in panic as she hastily wiped her face, attempting to be as subtle as possible.
“Oh, God,” she breathed to her friend, “Maybe I am in trouble!”
Chapter 2
Karina wandered through the cavernous rooms in her new home, trying to digest the events of the day. She felt turned upside down. Personally, professionally...every possible aspect of her life that could possibly be flipped on its head had been sent into a tailspin that day.
Hadn't she moved back to Hope Falls to simplify her life? Wasn't that the plan? Wasn't her goal to remove the distractions of life in LA and on the road?
And yet, on the very first day that she had made a move toward a stripped down, simple, homespun life where she could focus on her art, she'd not only entered into a gigantic professional battle, but also met a man. And not just any man. A man who set her head spinning.
Karina had never felt that before. She'd felt lust for men before. She'd felt affection. Maybe even love? She considered that. Maybe, she decided. I'm not sure, but maybe I've loved a couple of them, in my way. The best way I know how. Yes, that was what it was. In the best way that she, personally, was capable of loving, she had loved a couple of men. It wasn't what they write sonnets and make cheesy movies about, but it was her best version of love.
But she had never...NEVER...felt out of control the way she had felt in Sue Ann's cafe today. Her head spinning like she'd ingested some hallucinogen. Her heart pounding like it was about to beat out of her chest. Her breath quickening uncontrollably. And the worst part, the part that she absolutely couldn't wrap her mind around no matter how
hard she tried, was that she had been rendered speechless.
Her.
Speechless.
Karina had had her fair share of problems over the course of her life when it came to talking, but every single one of them had stemmed from not being able to keep her mouth shut when she should have been silent, not the other way around!
This afternoon had been the first time she could ever remember, the first time in her entire life, that she had actually wanted, needed, to say something – and the words just wouldn't come.
And the maddening thing was that this had happened in front of the only man she'd ever met that she actually had the urge to impress! What was that all about? She had always been surrounded by men who tripped all over themselves trying to impress her, not the other way around. And, while she had enjoyed the attention and the adoration had made her feel good about herself – she was human after all – it was more of a general sentiment that she appreciated. She enjoyed being surround by adoring men, but couldn't give a starving rat's ass if any one of them in particular held her in esteem at any given time. If one of them became disillusioned, there were plenty more waiting in the wings to take his place. And, honestly, Karina didn't distinguish much between them.
She sighed as she reflected on this. She realized it made her sound like a terrible spoiled princess, and that wasn't it at all. She was just so focused on her music and her career that her personal relationships were a sideline, an amusement, and she never devoted much passion or thought to them.
Today? With Ryan? That was a whole different animal.
This afternoon the tables had been turned. And she hadn't liked it one bit! Or...maybe she had loved it. She couldn't decide.
She shook her head in a vain attempt to clear it. Why was this happening to her?
Why on earth would these two major first time events – the first time she had met a man she actually wanted to impress and the first time that her wits had utterly failed her – have happened to occur virtually simultaneously?
It was like the Universe's cruel joke!
She trailed her fingertips along the walls as she wandered her home, willing the tactile sensation to bring her back down to earth.
She stepped into her generously-proportioned open living room. The vaulted ceilings were high above her, giving the space a cavernous, amphitheater-like feel. She slowly crossed the large room to the expanse of glass which made up the exterior wall of the space.
The view from this mountain-top hideaway was breathtaking. From her perch, she could see all the lights of Hope Falls in the valley below. Because she knew the layout of her hometown so well, she could easily spot the various landmarks – Sue Ann's and the rest of downtown, Amanda's house, the rec center, the high school. She wished that she had the acuity right now to accurately map her internal landscape as precisely as the one she was gazing at out the window right now.
At least, she consoled herself, she had some quiet time alone to figure this out. That's what she had never been able to get when she was living the hustle-bustle of her pop star life. People thought it was so glamorous, that you were constantly surrounded by minions jumping to do your bidding. Ha! Far from it. Sure, she had an entourage, but most of the time it seemed to Karina that – from her PR agent to her manager right down to her stylist – she worked for them more than the other way around.
She was up by four or five most mornings to do satellite or phone interviews, and then it was a non-stop day of doing what she was told until at least midnight – at which point, she would get four or five hours of sleep and it would start all over again. Her assistant would tell her where to go, her manager would tell her what to do, her PR flack would tell her what to say. Her nutritionist would tell her what to eat. Her label would tell her what to sing. She was sure that soon there would be someone on staff to tell her what to think. She wanted out before that happened.
Sure, she had money, she had fame, she had professional success. The one thing she had never been able to get was blissful, long, uninterrupted time alone. Whatever personal chaos was going on inside her right now, she reflected contentedly, at least she had quiet time alone to deal with it.
No sooner had this thought crossed her mind, however, than Karina was startled by a booming knock at the door, its shuddering resonance echoing throughout the cavernous empty space.
Karina rushed to the front door, thinking that there must be some sort of terrible emergency going on for someone to drop by unannounced and then pound on the door that hard, at this time of night. She looked through the peephole and saw Sam, one of her and Amanda's best friends, and her heart seized.
What could be wrong? Could something be wrong with Amanda? Or maybe it was the fourth member of their group, Lauren...Karina flung open the door in a panic, fearing the worst.
When the door opened, however, Sam turned her face brightly toward Karina and chirped, “Hey, there!” and then bopped past her into the living room.
Karina followed her, bewildered, her heart still beating fast in trepidation. “What's going on? What's wrong?” she breathed.
Sam was still walking forward, taking in her surroundings in wonder, “Dang, it looks so weird and creepy in the dark, with just the candles! Do you get the power turned on tomorrow?”
Karina shook her head and rubbed her forehead, trying to get a handle on what was happening. She felt like she and Sam were in the middle of two separate conversations, both just barreling forward on their own path, oblivious to the other person's contributions.
“Um...tomorrow, I think. About the lights. Lauren's taking care of it. Seriously, Sam, what are you doing here? Is something wrong?”
Sam giggled, “Nothing's wrong! Except I heard from Amanda that you met a guy today, and you were completely flummoxed! I had to get the details for myself! Who is this man of steel, that he can destroy not only mere mortals, but also celestial super stars?”
Karina exhaled a sigh of relief, “Geez, Sam. You had me in a panic! I know you may have been cut off from social norms while you've been ensconced in Olympic training all these years, but just FYI, for the future – an unannounced ten pm drop-by is the equivalent of a three am phone call. It usually means disaster in some way, like a death or someone's in the hospital.”
Sam waved this aside, “Oh, please. It's not like I haven't lived in the world, I know that. But I just got off the phone with Amanda, and I couldn't wait until morning to get the scoop! And since you're horrible at picking up your cell phone, combined with the fact that I wanted to see your face when you told me the story AND the fact that you are now living literally right across the street from me, I figured...impromptu pajama party!”
Karina's only answer was an incredulous scowl.
Sam laughed, “Oh, calm down. I'm just kidding. About the pajama party part. Not about the fact that you're going to tell me absolutely everything about meeting one Mr. Ryan Perkins this afternoon!”
Karina's face softened and she laughed a bit, “Oh, fine. Come on in the living room. I ordered Chinese, which has probably gotten cold, but that you're welcome to share. I also have wine.”
Karina sank gracefully down to the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of the Chinese food cartons, opening them one by one. Sam plopped down across from her, saying, “No thanks on the noodles, but I will take some wine.”
Karina laughed, “Noodles are crap for your training, but you can get drunk.”
Sam shrugged, “Wine's not exactly a protein shake either, but it's really about what's worth it to you, to cheat a little bit for. Cold egg foo yung? Not so much. Glass of wine? Yes, please!”
Karina poured the wine into first Sam's glass and then her own. She took a sip and reveled in the warmth she could already feel spreading through her shoulders and back. She picked up the carton of orange chicken and popped one of the sweet, crunchy pieces into her mouth. Even cold, it was not half bad.
She smiled. Sitting in her own home in Hope Falls, drinking wine, eating food, surrou
nded by candlelight and friendship, she felt more at home than she had anywhere, in years. It solidified in her yet again the rightness of her decision to move back to Hope Falls.
And what about Ryan Perkins? Would he prove to be further proof that she had made the right move coming back here? Or would he be her undoing?
Since Sam was here, she figured, she may as well use her as a sounding board. That's what girlfriends do, right? Yeah, she thought to herself, that's what they're always doing in movies, anyway. She shrugged. Here goes nothin'!
“Well, yes, I did meet this guy today,” she began.
“Yes, I know!” Sam burst out enthusiastically, “His name is Ryan, he's Sue Ann's grandson, and he's here helping her out with the cafe. He's tall, blonde, and hunky, and apparently he sings and plays guitar like a dream! Also, apparently, he reduced you to a whimpering pile of mush with just one handshake!”
Karina laughed, “Do I even need to be here for this conversation?”
Sam chuckled, chagrined. “Sorry. I guess I do get a little carried away. I'm just so excited for you! Tell me everything! I won't interrupt, I promise!”
Karina flopped back and lay staring at the ceiling. She sighed dreamily. “OK, I will admit, it was slightly thrilling, to feel that zing...that overwhelming thing that they talk about in movies. I won't go so far as to say that I actually liked feeling out of control...but it's like, there was this little part of me that actually wanted to like feeling out of control, does that make sense?”
Sam matched Karina's dreamy sigh with one of her own, although hers was tinged with sadness, “No, it doesn't make sense. I'm dying to meet someone that makes me lose control of my senses!”
Karina laughed heartily, “Oh, right, little miss competitive. You say that now, but let's see what the story is ten minutes after you meet someone that you lose yourself in. I have a feeling it won't be a pretty picture!”
Sweet Harmonies Page 2