However, that was before their little moment in the studio. He grinned. He had gotten more information than he was even hoping for. Now, he not only knew that she was aware of his interest in her, he was certain that it was returned. In fact, as the group was leaving her house not twenty minutes ago and she was seeing them all out, she had stood on her tiptoes to whisper in Ryan's ear, “Call me.”
He grinned wider. That was a good sign, no two ways about it.
Of course, he had also come across another little piece of unexpected information in that music studio – namely, that she was Karina Black, the pop star. On one hand, he felt like his entire view of their relationship, of who she was and in turn who he was in relation to her, was skewed on its axis.
She was a superstar.
But on the other hand, try as he might, he just could not reconcile the beautiful, sweet, funny girl – the girl that he had met only yesterday but felt like he had known for his entire life – with the mega-celebrity that everyone in the world knew from magazine covers and television.
Even he, with his sheltered existence, growing up on a secluded ranch and rarely ever entering civilization, yes even HE had seen pictures of her on tabloid covers, usually in huge sunglasses while trying to rush away, and airbrushed glamour shots on the covers of fashion magazines in the grocery store checkout line.
He had seen her perform on television, he had heard her songs on the radio.
She was famous.
The idea was going to take some serious getting used to.
Yes, she was famous, and yet – when he was around her, she seemed so normal. How was that possible? It seemed so counter-intuitive.
As he closed the door behind him, locking it and resetting the alarm, he was startled and nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a voice ring out of the darkness.
“Hi, Sweetheart, how was your day? Did you have fun with your friends?”
Ryan whirled around, heart thumping out of his chest, breathing fast.
“Granny! You can't just sit in the dark and wait for people! You almost gave me a heart attack!” he exclaimed.
“Oh, sorry Ryan,” Sue Ann replied contritely, “I just didn't want people thinking we were open, and coming up to the door expecting that I would make them some food. I thought...just simpler to turn the lights off. But I just couldn't wait to hear all about your day!”
Ryan laughed and sat down across the table from Sue Ann, both of them still cloaked in near-perfect darkness. The only light in the room was the dim, silver glow of moonlight which trickled in through the front window panel, shrouding the room in a filmy luminescence. He reached across the tabletop and took her hand.
“That's sweet, Granny. I don't want to sit here in the dark and talk about it, though. Why don't you come upstairs with me to my apartment and I'll make us some hot cocoa like when I was a kid?”
“I thought you'd never ask,” she replied.
Ryan and Sue Ann walked up the stairs together, and Ryan unlocked and opened the door to his cozy apartment – the apartment that Sue Ann had decorated and fixed up especially for him, in anticipation of his arrival.
As the two of them entered the space, he looked around and felt satisfaction at what he saw. It was very cozy, and felt like home. At the same time, Sue Ann had definitely made a strong effort to keep the small apartment masculine-feeling. There was nothing in this living space that could remotely be described as frilly or frou-frou, with the dominant hues being dark, bold shades of chocolate brown and navy blue.
The furniture was leather and overstuffed, and there was a small fireplace in the corner. It was the kind of place that made you want to settle down into it, take a deep breath, kick off your shoes, put your feet up and enjoy a good book.
It even had a sliding door in the living room which led to a small balcony, where he could partake of a cup of coffee in the morning or a beer in the evening, watching the hustling and bustling of the small downtown area.
When Ryan had left Montana, although he had been excited to experience a different place and get to know another corner of the universe, he had wondered if any other place in the world aside from his beloved big sky country would ever truly feel like home.
Sue Ann must have anticipated this feeling, because she had created a perfect space for him, one that he had felt at home in, the instant he stepped into it, even though it was the first time he had ever seen it.
Sue Ann walked over to the big, overstuffed armchair that sat in the corner of the living room near the fireplace and settled into it, taking the chenille throw from the back and tucking it in around her legs.
“Let's see,” Ryan said, walking over to the kitchen cabinets and opening them, “I'm not sure if I have hot chocolate or not.”
“You do,” Sue Ann replied confidently.
Ryan smiled to himself. Of course, since this apartment was above her cafe, and in a building that she owned, and she had overseen the redecorating effort – she had a set of keys to his door. And, although for the life of him he could not figure out when she did it, he knew she must still use them from time to time, because his pantry was always mysteriously fully stocked.
He had never protested this, because she never did anything less benign than making sure his fridge and cupboards were never bare, and he rather liked that. It was sweet. And it was not as if she would ever barge in when he was there, or snoop when he wasn't.
As Ryan busied himself with making the hot chocolate and Sue Ann sat contentedly watching him, he thought about how to broach the question that was on his mind. Luckily, that awkward segue was taken out of his hands when Sue Ann said, in a slightly sing-songy tone, “Soooo...? How did you and Karina get along...?”
Ryan smiled, “Well, Granny, you definitely have good taste, I'll say that for you.”
She smiled knowingly. “So, I take it you liked her then?”
“What's not to like?” he said carefully, noncommittally.
“Exactly!” Sue Ann chirped happily, “I knew you two would get along!”
Ryan said, “Well, that's the thing, Granny. I like her. Of course I like her. The whole world likes her. But what I don't understand is why you thought that she would like me.”
Sue Ann looked at him, puzzled. “Why wouldn't she like you? You're a wonderful young man!”
Ryan chuckled indulgently, “Well, yes, you're my grandmother, of course you think I'm great. But, I guess what I don't get, Granny, is why didn't you tell me that she's a big star?”
Sue Ann looked even more confused, “What do you mean?”
“Why didn't you tell me that she was Karina Black?”
“Oh, no, honey,” Sue Ann corrected him kindly, “Karina's last name is Blackstone. But that's an easy mistake.”
“No, Granny,” Ryan said, shaking his head, “Karina Black is her stage name.”
Sue Ann shrugged, “OK, if you say so.”
“Well, it's not just that I say so,” Ryan said insistently, “The whole world says so.”
Sue Ann sighed as if this topic was beginning to bore her, and shrugged again. “OK,” she agreed amiably.
Ryan sighed, but his sigh was not out of boredom, but rather out of frustration at his inability to get his point across.
“OK, Granny,” he started again, trying a different angle this time, “Here's the thing...do you not actually realize how famous she really is?”
Sue Ann shrugged, “I know Renata said that she was doing well with her music, but I took it with a grain of salt. You know how grandmothers can tend to exaggerate about how great their own grandchildren are.”
Ryan snorted at the irony, “I've never run into that, can you give me an example?”
Sue Ann ignored him, continuing, “I'm glad for her that it's true, that she's had some success. She's a gem of a girl. She deserves for nice things to happen to her.”
Ryan laughed, “You don't understand, Granny. She hasn't had 'some' success. She is world-famous. She's a household name. She'
s a superstar. She is...” he shook his head in frustration, “I mean, anyone would recognize her!”
“You didn't,” Sue Ann said pointedly.
“Well, I'm an idiot. My point is, she's a global phenomenon.”
Sue Ann smiled, “That's nice.”
Ryan sighed in frustration at his inability to get his larger point across, “What I'm really trying to get at, Granny, is...why would you ever think that someone like her could be interested in someone like me?”
Sue Ann looked at him sharply, a little taken aback, “Are you trying to say that you don't think you're good enough for Karina Blackstone?” she asked incredulously.
Ryan considered this for a moment. He hadn't exactly put it that way to himself, and it was a much more stark way to think of things.
He shook his head, “I don't think 'good enough' is exactly the right way to phrase it. It's not a matter of measuring up, or being 'good' enough. It's a matter of being...I don't know.”
“In the same league?” Sue Ann supplied.
“I don't know,” Ryan shook his head, “I don't know what I'm trying to say. It's just the longer that this rolls around in my mind, the more I start to doubt that we could have anything in common. I think my head is just spinning from this. I don't know what I mean.”
“Well, I tell you what, Sonny,” Sue Ann said decisively, “What you need to do with that spinning head of yours is pull it out of your behind.”
Ryan looked up, shocked. “Granny!”
“Here's the thing,” she continued, undaunted, “She may be as famous as all get out. I don't know. But, at heart? She's just Karina Blackstone, and I've known her since the day she was born. And she's a good girl.
“And you may be a boy from a small town, but you're not JUST a boy from a small town. You have the best heart of anyone I've ever met. Karina Blackstone would be lucky to have you. If she gets to know you at all, I think she'll realize that. I suspect from the way she started gaping like a fish on the shore when you walked in from the kitchen yesterday that she's probably already halfway there.
“But if she doesn't? Then she doesn't deserve you. And it has nothing to do with her being out of your league. And that's the truth.”
“Thanks, Granny,” he replied, his voice growing a little tight with emotion as he set the mug of hot cocoa on the end table next to her chair.
“You're welcome, Ryan,” she said, smiling up at him and patting his cheek, “But it's just the truth.”
--- ~ ---
Karina sat straight up in bed the next morning, the pounding in her head so severe that it was actually causing it to ring loudly with sonorous, crashing bell peals. In fact, the ringing in her head was so disturbing that it was actually what had woken her up.
She was still attempting to get her bearings when her palms flew to her temples and her brain exploded in agony, causing her to cry out in in pain, as another cacophonous round of ringing tore through her consciousness.
It was only then that she realized that the ringing existed independently of her poor, broken, hung over brain – it was coming from her front door. She angrily fumbled for her bedside alarm clock, and her indignation was only compounded when she saw the ungodly hour – just before 6:30 am.
“Seriously,” she grumbled, as she grumpily slung her legs over the side of the bed and clumsily pushed her feet into slippers, “Who the hell thinks it's OK to just ring my doorbell at this godforsaken time of the morning?”
She trudged down the stairs, wiping sleep from her eyes, her throbbing head killing her, and bile rising in the back of her throat. She knew she was paying the price for the night of solo debauchery she had indulged in after her encounter with Ryan yesterday. She was definitely NOT used to being rejected. So, while she was normally not a solo drinker, she had felt sorry for herself and she had decided to go with that sentiment. She had started out by thinking she would just mellow out and take the edge off with a glass of wine, and had ended up drowning her sorrows in the entire bottle.
And this morning? She was remembering WHY she was usually not a solo drinker.
She got to the front door and looked out the peephole.
“SAM!” she exclaimed as she flung open the front door, “Frickin' A, seriously, are you kidding me? Somebody better be dead. What the hell are you doing at my door at 6:30 in the morning?”
There on Karina's front step stood a spandex-clad Samantha, hopping from foot to foot so as not to lose the heart rate momentum she had built up, her dewy pink skin glowing with the perspiration she had generated during her workout.
“There you are!” she said breathlessly, but still cheerfully, jogging into the house past Karina. Instead of stopping in the entryway, however, she jogged straight into the kitchen without waiting to see if Karina was going to follow.
Karina shook her head to clear the fog that was still clinging to her, and shuffled after Sam. “Oh, yes, please just come on in! Feel free to stop by unannounced anytime,” she intoned grumpily under her breath.
“Thanks, don't mind if I do!” Sam called back sunnily from the kitchen.
“This whole 'morning person' thing you have going on could get to be a real issue eventually, just FYI,” Karina informed her flatly as she flopped down into one of her kitchen table chairs.
“Best time of day,” Sam chirped back.
Karina grunted in disagreement, and then added, “In all seriousness, though, Sam – what the holy hell are you doing ringing my doorbell at 6:30 in the morning?”
“Oh, were you sleeping?” Sam asked, all innocence.
“Of course I was sleeping!” Karina shot back indignantly, “Did you miss the part where it's 6:30 in the morning?”
“I couldn't help it!” Sam trilled, opening Karina's fridge and pulling out a bottle of water, “I wanted to deconstruct the whole moving day with Ryan yesterday! Plus, Amanda and Lauren and I DID notice that there was quite a lengthy period that the two of you were conspicuously absent yesterday. Together! So what happened?”
“Nothing,” Karina said flatly, “Whole lotta nothin', that's what happened.”
“No way! Nothing?” Sam asked disbelievingly.
“Certainly nothing that warrants this buttcrack of dawn visit,” Karina concluded miserably.
“I have a really hard time believing that. I mean, come on, if you don't want to tell me, just say you don't want to tell me.”
“I don't want to tell you,” Karina deadpanned.
“Well, too bad, you have to,” Sam said decisively, dropping into the chair opposite Karina and taking a swig of water from her bottle.
Karina pushed her tangle of dark hair back away from her face and sighed. “Make some coffee,” she relented, “and I'll go through the entire tale.”
“Agreed!” Sam said cheerfully, walking over to Karina's cabinet. She opened it and pulled out a bag of coffee.
Opening up various cabinets in turn, she mumbled, “Coffee filters...coffee filters...hmmmm....” finally turning to Karina and asking, “Where do you keep your coffee filters?”
Karina shook her head, which was at this point resting face down on her arms, which were folded on the kitchen table in front of her. “I doubt I have any,” she said, the sound of her voice muffled by the fact that her face was buried in her arms, “I haven't completely stocked up in kitchen supplies yet. Just use paper towels.”
“Will do!” said Sam, ripping off a paper towel with a flourish and lining the basket of the coffee maker with it. She then poured in grounds, filled the pot with water and poured it into the machine. Lastly, she pushed the button victoriously and the delicious and restorative aroma of coffee began filling the kitchen. Sam came to sit by Karina, an air of satisfaction surrounding her like a halo.
Karina sat up, looking more alert already. “You seem awfully proud of yourself for making a pot of coffee,” she observed.
“Well, you just have no idea how satisfying it is to do things for yourself after you've had them controlled for you your
entire life!”
Karina nodded, “Yeah, I can see that you're really embracing independent living. Exhibit A being how you're at my house for coffee first thing in the morning.”
Sam dismissed this, “Oh, that's just being social, don't be a grump.”
Karina grimaced, “I have very few personae available to me when I'm unexpectedly awoken prior to 7 am. Trust me, 'grump' is the nicest one available. You're lucky you got 'grump' instead of the alternative.”
Sam got up and poured a steaming mug of fragrant brew for each of them. Karina leaned over the mug and breathed in deeply. She looked up, finally ready to begin her tale.
“Well, first of all,” she began, “Did you guys realize he didn't know who I am?”
“What do you mean?” Sam asked, puzzled.
“He didn't realize that I, Karina Blackstone of Hope Falls, am actually Karina Black, the pop star.”
Sam stared at Karina without comment for a moment, then threw back her head and began laughing uproariously.
“I'm glad you think it's so hilarious,” Karina grumbled.
“Was he mad or something?” Sam asked incredulously, “That doesn't seem like him.”
“Right, because you know him so well,” Karina laughed, “I can see where you would be like, 'Oh, yeah, that reaction totally doesn't read Ryan to me. That's nothing Ryan would ever do.' Because the two of you are so tight.”
“Whatever, you know what I mean,” Sam replied, “He just doesn't seem like the kind of guy who gets tripped up over little things.”
Karina shrugged, “No, actually, he didn't seem to have much of a reaction to that, other than being surprised. But what really freaked me out is that he actually stepped back right in the middle of our kiss, and was like...”
“The middle of your what?” Sam exclaimed, interrupting, “I have a feeling you just skipped over the best part of the story. Go back. Rewind. He kissed you? What kiss? How did the kiss happen?”
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