“When it comes right down to it, we don't really have anyone here in town with the skill to recognize real talent, you know? So it ends up just coming down to whoever's running the show, their gut instinct on what they happen to like, and – let's be honest – who their friends are.
“But, now, we have two real, honest-to-goodness entertainment pros in our midst. And so, I was thinking, maybe the two of you could form a team and take over running the Town Follies. It sure would be a help, I tell ya,” he concluded.
“That sounds great!” Sue Ann enthused, “Ryan would love to!”
Ryan looked at her, amused, and conceded, “Apparently Ryan would love to. The only problem with that is that I'm not a pro.”
Henry dismissed this concern, saying, “Well, I don't know about all that. What I do know is that folks have been hearing you play your songs in the cafe, and they've been mighty impressed. Mighty impressed, indeed.”
Sue Ann beamed with pride, “Well, it's settled then. Ryan will do it.”
“Karina will also do it,” said Renata firmly.
Karina turned toward her grandmother, “Does Karina get a say in this?”
Renata looked at Karina sternly, “Your purpose in this task will be the same as your purpose here this evening – it is your job to look out for the interests of the tribe in this festival, and now the Town Follies. In both instances, I have all confidence that you will perform to the best of your ability, bringing honor and pride to both your family and your tribe.”
Karina shrugged, “And here I thought I was just running some talent show auditions,” she turned to Henry, “Also, incidentally, that was a long way of saying that, no, Karina doesn't get a say in it. I'm in, as well!”
Ryan gave her a brilliant smile, “Excellent. I guess we'll be seeing a lot more of each other. And, obviously, we'll need to trade cell numbers. You know, for planning purposes.”
Karina smiled warmly, “Oh, yes. For planning purposes. Of course.”
Chapter 7
Karina had circled the block six times now. Of course, since said block was the downtown area of Hope Falls and not, say, a bustling block in downtown Manhattan...it had only taken her about ten minutes.
Still. Every time she tried to bring herself to park, get out of the car, and walk into Sue Ann's cafe for the “Pre Planning Meeting” that she and Ryan had set up for this afternoon, she just could NOT bring herself to do it. She would glance down at the dashboard clock, realize that she still had a few more minutes before she was technically late, and impulsively decide to swing around the block one more time.
What was hanging her up was this – she wanted a really snappy opening line. She didn't feel comfortable walking into a meeting with Ryan without being prepared. She had a bad track record with him, one that had found her, more than once, gaping and speechless...only to think of the perfect comeback hours later, when she was alone.
She was not going to be caught unawares again, dammit! She was determined that he WOULD see her for the clever person that she knew herself to be, if it was the last thing she ever did!
Which brought her to her current dilemma. What to say first. If she had an opening line in mind, she knew she could walk into the meeting with confidence, and if she had confidence, things would progress well from there. She needed something that really popped, a classic Karina quip. Why was her wit – along with her wits – deserting her now that she needed them most?
Finally, much to her chagrin, time ran out. She glanced at the dashboard clock and realized that she was going to have to park and walk into Sue Ann's, or she was actually going to be late for the meeting. Dammit!
She strode quickly into Sue Ann's, her irritation with herself giving her cheeks a fetching glow and her stride a sexy aggressive purposefulness. She stopped in the middle of the room and glanced around at the wait staff, and into the kitchen, what she could see of it over the high counter where orders were set to be taken out.
“Looking for me?” she heard a low, sexy voice from behind her, and whirled around, startled.
Ryan was sitting at one of the small, two-person tables by the window, sipping a cup of coffee.
“Hey, gorgeous,” he said, “Come have a seat. I'll go get you a cup of coffee.”
“OK,” she said as she settled herself into the chair opposite him. Great, she thought to herself sarcastically, that was a brilliant line. I see my ability to think quickly on my feet is still intact.
Ryan returned with her coffee, as well as a small tray with sweeteners and a miniature pitcher of cream, and set them on the small table in front of her.
“So, did you have trouble finding a parking space?” he teased companionably.
She gave him a puzzled look.
He grinned, “Well, I did notice that you went around the block about six or seven times before settling on one. I thought maybe someone was parked in your favorite space.”
Her face burned with embarrassment. “I, uh...had errands,” she mumbled, aware that made no sense, but powerless to stop the words from coming out of her mouth.
Ryan had the good grace to let the topic slide at that point, and she appreciated that about him. It was one thing to tease people lightly, especially people like her who appreciated a good joke. But there was another type of teasing that people sometimes fell into, funny people especially, where they would continue pursuing a joke long after it was clear that it was uncomfortable to the other person. Karina viewed these people as jerks, pretty much, but as a witty person, she did understand the temptation to keep rolling with a topic when funny lines were still popping into your head. It took real self control to bite your tongue when everything inside you was screaming, “Just say it! You know it's hilarious!”
Karina was very happy to learn that Ryan was the type of person who put other peoples' feelings above his own need for a quick laugh.
Ryan pulled a notebook and pen from his back pocket. He flipped it open to an empty page and said, “Ready to get started?”
She nodded gratefully and smiled, pulling her own notebook and pen from her purse. She opened to a blank page and titled it “Town Follies.”
Ryan smiled at her, although with her head bent over her notebook, she didn't notice it.
“OK,” she began thoughtfully, “I think the first thing we need to think about is if we are going to have a theme or not. A lot of the later plans will stem from that decision.”
She looked up at him across the table, to see what his response would be, but all she saw was him grinning at her as if she was the cutest thing he'd ever seen.
“What?” she asked, “Did I say something funny?”
Ryan shook his head, “No, no. Sorry. I'll concentrate harder from here on out. I just got caught up in how cute you looked all bent over your notebook, writing so intently. But, yes. I do need to concentrate. You were saying? A theme?”
But now Karina had gotten distracted from the original topic. She pushed her notebook aside and took a sip of coffee. As she set her cup down, she smiled at Ryan fetchingly.
In a far off corner of her brain, she wondered if she were really so shallow that a simple compliment about her appearance could set her at ease so quickly? She shrugged mentally. So what if that were true? She was a girl. She was entitled to a LITTLE bit of vanity, wasn't she? The important thing was that she did now feel comfortable.
She tilted her head and smiled again. Gee, she told herself, congrats on stopping short of batting your eyelashes, even if just barely.
“Actually, I think that talking about the theme and the rest of it can wait a few minutes,” she said coyly, “You know, we're going to be working together pretty intensely until the night of the talent show. I think we should probably get to know each other a little bit better.”
Ryan smiled, leaning back in his chair, “I can get behind that idea. Ask me anything you want. Fire away.”
“OK, basics first. Tell me about your family. Mom, Dad, brothers, sisters?”
&nbs
p; Ryan nodded, “Well, I guess I had a pretty boringly normal childhood. I was raised on a ranch in Montana with my Mom and Dad. They're still together. No brothers and sisters. But, what can I say? It was ideal. I mean, I guess if you put my feet to the fire, I would have liked to have more kids around to play with when I was younger, so, yeah, I guess brothers and sisters would have been nice. But, that's a small complaint. Overall, I'd have to say I had a very happy childhood.”
“What about friends? Didn't you have friends around to play with?”
Ryan shook his head, “Nah. Not during the school year at least. I mean, I went to school, but it was a small school, even by rural standards. And because we were all bussed in from remote ranches, it wasn't like we could just pop over to each other's houses to play after school. Not to mention, we all had chores, anyway.”
Karina tried to sound diplomatic, but she couldn't help but commenting, “That actually sounds sort of...grim, if you don't mind my saying so.”
Ryan started laughing, “Yeah, I guess I see how you could picture it that way just from hearing what I just said. But, honestly, it wasn't how it sounds. I mean, the way I was raised was the same way kids were raised for hundreds of years before me. So, there's that, to be part of a ranching and farming tradition in this country that goes back to its founding.
“And, aside from that, you have to picture it. The land – our land – was beautiful. Lush, gorgeous. And from the time I could remember, through helping my family work that land, I knew that it was ours. In my earliest memories, I had a sense of connection and pride of ownership with the land we were working that some people chase their entire lives and are never able to achieve. You can't replace that kind of history with a few after-school rounds of Hungry, Hungry Hippo, you know?”
Karina found herself completely entranced in Ryan's recounting. “Wow, you're right, now I'm actually jealous!” she laughed.
Ryan said, “OK, now I'm throwing that question back at you. Family? I've met your grandmother, what about the rest of your family?”
Karina nodded, “Fair enough. Well, truthfully, since you've met my grandmother, you've pretty much met all of the Blackstone clan that is around to be met. I don't have any brothers and sisters...well, that I know of, anyway...”
Ryan looked puzzled, “That you know of?”
Karina sighed, “OK, let me back up. So, Renata is my mother's mother...”
Ryan looked even more puzzled, “How did you end up with the same last name, then?”
Karina nodded, “Yeah, I know. Well, my Dad took off before I was born. My Mom died in childbirth, I'm pretty sure at least. So, I don't imagine that Renata was too eager to give me my deadbeat Dad's last name, when he couldn't even be bothered to stick around.”
Ryan shook his head in confusion, “What do you mean you're PRETTY SURE your Mom died in childbirth?”
Karina grimaced, “Yeah, I know. I was pretty insistent as a pre-teen that Renata fill me in on all the gory details, but all she would ever say is that my mother was gone, and that she was there, and wasn't that good enough? I mean, you've seen her, you can see what she's like. Dragging details out of her that she's not willing to part with? Yeah, that's a losing battle.”
Ryan laughed, “I can definitely see that.”
Karina sighed, “So, yeah, I eventually gave up on that. But it doesn't really matter, in the grand scheme of things. I mean, I had her, I had the tribe, I had all of my friends. Whether my Mom was not around by providence or by choice, it's all the same in the end. Why not just focus on the people that are here rather than the ones that aren't?”
Ryan put his hand over hers and squeezed. “I think that's a really great way to look at it.”
She looked at their intertwined fingers on the tabletop, and couldn't help herself. She blurted out, “So, do you have a girlfriend back home?”
Ryan burst out laughing. He shook his head, “Wow, you get straight to the point, don't you? No, I don't have a girlfriend right now. And, just in case you're wondering – because I have an idea you might be – my last girlfriend and I broke up over a year ago. She was the third of my serious girlfriends, and we'd been together for three years. I had a girlfriend in high school that I was with for two years, a girlfriend in college that I was also with for two years, and then my most recent girlfriend.”
“That's it?” Karina was incredulous.
“That's it,” Ryan affirmed, “I don't know what to tell you. I'm a relationship guy. I don't start to date someone in order to see where it might lead. If I am interested enough to pursue someone, it's because I already have a pretty decent idea that it is going to lead somewhere serious. I don't fool around with people just for the hell of it.”
Karina was dumbstruck. She'd never met anyone like this before. In the crowd she ran with, casual dating was the norm. Getting serious was an aberration that happened when two people who were 'keeping it casual' happened to get deeper feelings for each other at the same time. It was certainly never the goal at the outset of the relationship. Ryan's perspective was a whole new way of looking at things for her.
“So, what happened with you and the three girls?” she asked. She was surprised to find that, more than anything, she was honestly just curious to get a deeper insight into how he saw things, and how he operated. She almost felt like an anthropologist, investigating the peculiar mating rituals of some obscure culture.
Ryan shrugged, “Well, each one is complicated in its own way, of course, as relationships inevitably are. But what they all really boiled down to, in the end, was that the girl was ready to move forward and take it to the next level, and I just wasn't there.”
“Marriage?” Karina asked, and Ryan nodded.
Karina gave a small smile, “I thought you were a commitment guy?”
“Oh, I am,” Ryan responded earnestly, “If the relationship with any of them would have been right, I would have walked down the aisle in a heartbeat. The problem was, none of them were exactly the right fit. I could feel it. Of course, since I couldn't point to any specific issues we had, it was really difficult for them to understand why I was breaking it off. But, honestly, when it got to the point of either move forward or cut ties, either get married or break up...I just knew it wasn't a forever relationship. I don't know how I knew. I just...” he took Karina's hand, “I knew there was something better for me out there. I knew I they weren’t my future.”
Karina, flustered, found herself at a loss for a response. So, she just smiled and squeezed Ryan's hand, smiling and looking into his eyes. They held each other's gaze for a moment, until finally Ryan broke the silence.
“So, what about you, super star?” he said lightly, “Tell me about the trail of broken hearts you've left in your wake.”
She laughed and shook her head. “Oh, no, nothing so dramatic. The only real 'relationship' I've had to speak of, if you could call it that, was my first manager. The one I had before Bernie. That lasted awhile...years, actually. But, looking back, that might have just been a relationship of convenience. I mean, he was tour managing my road show as well as managing my career. Those were lean years, Ryan, I don't know what to tell you,” she laughed, “So, it was like...we de facto lived together, he ran a lot of my day to day life, and also I was only 20 so I had very little perspective about life beyond the one real boyfriend I'd ever had. I think that might be why we stayed together for so long.”
Ryan nodded, “OK, that's why you stayed together. Why did you split up?”
“Oh, that one's easier. I signed with Bernie.”
“Bernie?”
“My manager. When I signed with him, I had to fire my boyfriend, so...”
“Well...that's why you split up the professional relationship. Why did you split up the personal relationship?”
She laughed bitterly, “It was all one big relationship. There was no difference. Anyway, we still keep in touch, in a way.”
“Oh, really?”
“Well, in the sense that he posts
on message boards about how he discovered me and I'd be nothing without him, and then I threw him away like garbage as soon as I started to get a little success. Then, you know, sometimes I read those posts. Which is, I think, what he actually wants, deep down. But I haven't even done that in four or five years. It's all just too junior high, you know?”
“That sounds awful,” Ryan said sympathetically.
Karina shuddered, “Well, at least he doesn't have any naked pictures of me, or God forbid, a sex tape!”
Ryan was shocked, “You think he would actually post something like that? Something so private?”
“Oh, yeah,” Karina responded blithely, “I mean, no, he probably wouldn't post it, he'd probably sell it. Same difference.”
Ryan shook his head, “You seem so blasé about it. That would be the ultimate betrayal of trust.”
Karina shook her head, “When you're famous, you have to assume that any little piece of information, that any personal memento, that any tiny piece of your life that you let into someone else's control has the possibility of being sold to the tabloids one day. It's a sick reality of the job.”
Karina was shocked to find herself tearing up a little, which was very unlike her, “Why do you think I treasure Amanda, Lauren, and Sam the way I do? They are the only three friends I have that I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt...I don't care how angry they were at me, or how desperate for money...they would NEVER sell me out. They would die rather than sell something personal about me to the tabloids. Because of that, I can be myself around them, I don't have to worry about being stabbed in the back. I don't think it's possible to explain how meaningful that is for someone in my extremely peculiar position.”
Karina self-consciously wiped her cheek. She was not emotional in front of people. EVER. And now she'd cried twice in front of Ryan. What was up with that?
She was embarrassed. She saw him open his mouth to speak, and was horrified, wondering what would be coming next. She knew all the typical responses to complaints like hers. That it's the price you pay for being famous, or that she should stop her whining...boo hoo, poor little rich girl. She was angry with herself that she had exposed something so personal to Ryan, and left herself so wide open to ridicule. It wasn't the image she wanted him to have of her. Spoiled. Ungrateful.
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