by Belleza
“I didn’t have intentions to.”
Shaking his head, he walked off, and Zayne approached me closing the front door and pushing the weight of his body against mine.
“Lose the attitude, yo.”
“I don’t have an attitude. Isn’t this the routine? We fuck, and I leave before Za’naa notices that her father is involved with a woman.”
Zayne covered his face with his hands and ran it down his face. I don’t know why it was so hard for him to admit because it was very true and he knew it. He brought no female around Za’naa which I respected, but don’t tell me you love me and want a future with me but keep me hidden away to the most important person in your life. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t dying to be a stepmother but the Zayne’s actions and words weren’t adding up, and I was done figuring out his silly life equation.
I pushed him back away from me and turned to open the door.
“I’ma call you later…”
“You don’t have to,” I shot over my shoulder as the brisk winter air hit my face. I bundled myself up in my Parker, slid my hat over my curly hair and proceeding in my walk of shame to my car.
***
Camille's eyes lit up as she thumbed through the bills. We made an easy $500 last night alone in tips. It was a slow day, and I usually made at least $200. I knew they were going to go crazy when they saw her ass. The men that frequented Dynasty went crazy over new chicks that got hired, and they definitely loved her shy dark chocolate ass. All the naked bitches that were on poles and they were amped to see my bestie. I felt like a proud mama.
“I can’t believe it,” Camille spoke.
“You better. It’s like stealing candy from a baby. Men are visual creatures. You can drain them off an allusion.”
“The allusion is walking around half naked,” she scoffed referring to the cutout gold one piece I had her put on.
“You would wear a bathing suit to a beach right?” I questioned her.
“Yes, but Dynasty isn’t a beach.”
“Tomato, Tomatoe,” I replied waving my hand dismissively. I’ve been working at Dynasty for the past two years and ain’t see myself going to another job. I had the best of both worlds of partying and making money. The best thing about it is that I didn’t have to pop my pussy for some dollars. Give out bottles, take pictures, do a little flirting and throw back a few shots. “You’re $9,500 closer to paying off your classes.”
“Wait, we’re not splitting this?” she asked.
“Nah, you can keep that. I ain’t hurting and if I need anything I can ask Alexander,” I told her.
“You haven’t spoken to your father yet have you?” she questioned me.
“He texted me yesterday.”
“And did you respond?”
I shook my head and opened up the bag of chessman cookies I took from the kitchen and bit into one. Junk food was a staple in my diet. I can go without a real meal and snack on goodies all day long. My father's wife used to hate I didn’t touch dinner but go get a bag of chips or candy from the kitchen, but that hoe couldn’t tell me shit! She wasn’t my mother.
Everyone would tell me I was going to blow the fuck up, but I was a solid 155 with a little bit of ass and titties. My metabolism was high as fuck due to the fact that I ran track when I was in high school and went running every day. It was my way of keeping my sanity. It was better for me to run off my anxiety than to take someone's life and be in jail where the only place my ass would be running to is a gate that confined yards of space.
“He’s your father Ke, and I know he loves you.”
“I never said he didn’t. I just don’t have anything to say. I’m alive and well. Did you speak to pop?” I questioned her referring to her parents. Since getting that letter in the mail stating that she owed money she wasn’t sure if she should ask her parents about it or not. They were in charge of her tuition and as far as we knew her father was paying it. He owned a car shop in West Philly. It was a family business that was passed down, and they were living in a middle-class area doing well off the business. Neither of us knew the change of events and Camille didn’t want to bother them.
“Nah… he supported me enough. I don’t have an issue coming up with the money myself.”
“But that’s the thing Mill, what if it’s something he can fix? Maybe he changed banks and didn’t notify the school of the changes and the checks are bouncing.”
She sighed. “Maybe so, I’ll get up with them before I go see Josh.”
I lifted my lips hearing his name. If there was one nigga I hated, it was him! I don’t know why my Mill was attracted to a nigga like him, but she was, and it pissed me off. He was some backward ass hustler that wanted to control her. He hated the fact that we were friends and tried to keep Camille away from me. What he didn’t understand was that we weren’t only friends, but she was my fucking sister, and nothing was going to stop us from being with each other.
Joshua used to fill her head with all this shit telling her I was jealous because she was in school and had a man and that being around me would only cause her to cheat because I’m a hoe.
First of all, he must’ve forgotten before he met Mill he was on my dick, and I shut that shit down. He didn’t know we were friends which was why I ain’t tell Mill because it wasn’t a big deal to me. Funny, he forgot how bad he wanted this hoe.
Niggas couldn’t take a bitch like me. I lived by no one’s rules! Fuck society and what they thought. I moved to the beat of my own drum. Yes, I talked to a lot of niggas once upon a time, but just because they had my number or took me out on dates didn’t mean they had access to my pussy.
I liked to have fun. I enjoyed eating, and that’s what these men were to me at the moment. If Camille wanted to cheat she can fucking cheat with or without me. Joshua was just insecure because he was the true fucking hoe. This nigga had a slew of kids he didn’t claim and was pretending to be on boss status because he sold drugs that were supplied by the Moseley’s. Bye boy! Nothing in Philly was moving if it wasn’t stamped by them so regardless of what he thought he had no affiliation to them. Nigga was a third party drug dealer.
“I can’t believe you’re still dealing with him,” I told her even though I knew it wasn’t what she wanted to hear.
Camille was my fucking heart. We were polar fucking opposites. While I can cut somebody off quick, she gives them chance after chance after chance always looking at life through her rose-colored glasses. Camille was what I needed in my life to level me out because, baby, it didn’t take me long to snap on anyone. Camille barely raised her damn voice or cursed.
“I can’t just up and leave him when he needs me, KeKe.”
I raised my eyebrow at her. “Let’s say you were a stupid ass corner boy and got knocked do you think Joshua would stick by your side?”
“Who knows. That’s not even a realistic question.”
“Bitch, bye! He wouldn’t! I thought you were done with him when that girl sent you a picture of that ultrasound.”
“I spoke to him, and he said he never dealt with her.”
“You’re killing me, Camille. You’re too pretty and smart for this shit,” I sighed dramatically running my hands down my face. That wasn’t the first, and I’m sure not the last incident that involved broke ass Joshua and a random bitch in Philly.
“I just feel bad. You know he doesn’t really have anyone, and he begged me on the phone to rock out with him. He said he wouldn’t be in there long. Once he gets out, I will have a talk with him about not being together.”
I rolled my eyes to the top of my head. I was over manipulative ass, Joshua. “In the meantime… Asahd asked about you.”
“The dark skin guy from the club that had a girl on his lap the entire time I worked.”
“You make it sound bad,” I joked, and she smacked her teeth.
“You want me to go from one douche bag to another.”
“No, I just want you to stop fucking around with Joshua, for real for real. I w
as just letting you know I think Asahd likes you. It doesn’t hurt to give someone new a try.”
“Thanks, but no thanks…” she replied getting off the bed. “My main focus is on getting this money for school so I can live my life with or without a man.”
“Touche!” I called out behind her lifting my half eaten cookie in the air.
CAMILLE “MILL” DONIGAN
I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw my mother with a cigarette to her lips. After my sudden shock, I relaxed my face and walked further into the living room. She quickly smashed the cigarette in the ashtray and weakly smiled at me.
“Hey, baby. I didn’t know you were stopping by.”
There was no way that I could hide the deep concern I had for my mother. She wasn’t her vibrant self. Her short cut hair which was normally curled was flat down on her head and brittle. My eyes shifted to the stack of mail on the table, and I zeroed in on the words PAST DUE that was in bold red ink.
“I don’t ever tell y’all when I’m coming over. Where’s daddy?”
My mom noticed my gaze and quickly snatched up the bills from off the coffee table.
“He’s at the shop.”
“He wasn’t there when I stopped past. The gates were actually locked. That’s why I’m here now. I wanted to talk to y’all.”
“Well you know he’s a busy man. He’s probably picking up vehicles in his tow truck.”
I held a blank stare studying my mother's fidgety demeanor. She jumped up from the couch and pulled me into her chest.
“I’m so happy to see you, baby. How’s school?” she questioned me.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and followed my mother to the kitchen. She filled up her kettle with water and washed out a teacup that was in the sink. Now, this was a habit I knew, smoking cigarettes was something new.
I had my letter in my purse about the past due payments but thought it was best to keep it to myself. It’s not like I didn’t have a plan to get myself out of the loophole. It was clear my parents were keeping secrets from me and weren’t doing as well as what I thought. It’d be selfish to ask them about my college tuition when they had bills that weren’t paid up.
“School is ok,” I lied. “I can’t wait to graduate.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned up against the counter.
My mom's lips turned up into a real pleased smile, and she rubbed my face. “I’m so proud of you baby. You and KeKe need to bring y'all butts around more often. Just because y’all are grown doesn’t mean y’all can forget about us.”
“We will.”
The kettle on the stove whistled loudly, and my mom jumped before she scrambled over to the pot. With my eyes still glued on her, I opened up the bag of Earl Grey tea for her and placed it inside of her teacup. She was a little too hype to do something that took little effort. Not wanting her to burn herself, I took the kettle from her hands and poured the steaming hot water myself.
“What’s going on mom?” I questioned her no longer ignoring the elephant in the room.
“What do you mean?”
I placed the kettle back on the stove and glared at her only because she was playing dumb. A blind person can see that shit was so fucked up.
“Mom, you know I saw the bills. Do y’all need help?” Her head dropped to her chest, and she shook her head. I released an exasperated sigh and went inside of my bag where I had the $500 I planned on depositing into my bank account.
“Here mom, take this and get caught up on everything.”
I held out the bills, and her mouth fell open at the sight of the money. “Milly!” she gasped calling me the nickname she gave me as a child. “Where did you get all this money?”
“Remember I tutor mom,” I lied knowing that the money wasn’t from tutoring. My mom would catch a fit if she knew I was serving drinks in skimpy outfits at a club, but at this point, she couldn't complain because the same money I made was going to help them out of whatever hole they were in. I was back to square one with my tuition payments, but as long as my parents were good, I knew I would always be great.
“I can’t take this, Milly. You worked hard for it—”
“And you worked hard all your life for me. This is nothing, mom. Just take it because I know you need it.”
Despite her saying she couldn't take it. She did, and I was glad she did because I didn't want to argue with her about money she needed. I know it was embarrassing, but hey, we all fell off sometimes. My parents were amazing in my eyes, but everyone struggled once in a while.
My life was good. My parents were high school sweethearts. My father inherited money from his father and went to trade school to become a mechanic. Years later with his skill, he was able run the family shop, and he and my mother worked side by side six days out the week. She was his receptionist and helped him out with his record keeping and finances until they had me and my mother became a housewife. As far as I knew business was booming. My father was a hardworking and trustworthy man. It was difficult to find a mechanic that didn’t want to drain your pockets which was why many people came to my father shop with their car for everything as far as a simple tire change to complex work like getting an engine repaired.
I wanted for nothing. We weren’t rich, but we were definitely comfortable. I was in a house full of love, and that was what meant the most to me.
I was hoping to sit around and talk to my mom and hopefully see my father, but he never showed up, and it was time for me to hit the road to go see Joshua at the CFCF.
After hugging my mom and promising her again that Keira and I were going to come for dinner one of these days. I left out of my childhood home and rushed to my car. They were saying in a few days we were going to get a snowstorm, but I doubt it. It was freezing outside.
As soon as I started my car. I rubbed my hands together and blew into them to warm them up. I was only outside for a few seconds, and I felt like my fingers were turning into icicles. I started my car and put the heat on low so the cold air wouldn’t be circulating around me.
While waiting for my car to warm up, my phone rang, and I fumbled in my purse for it to see it was a call from the prison. I listened to the recorded message and pressed one to connect the call.
“Hey Josh,” I said after accepting the call.
“Fuck is wrong with you? You don’t sound too happy to hear from me. You better not be out there fucking around with no niggas.”
I smacked my lips. This was all he had to talk about on the phone when I reminded him that we were not focusing on a relationship. I was here for moral support until he got back on his feet.
“You hear me yo?!” he shouted when I didn’t respond.
“Stop yelling before I hang up.”
Josh chuckled, and I rolled my eyes. “So you feeling yourself huh? That hoe got you working at Dynasty and shit now. Yeah, I heard.”
Inwardly I groaned. It hasn’t been 24 hours, and he already heard I was there. I swear people ran their mouths like they got paid to do it. Sadly, they ain’t get shit for it.
“Stop disrespecting Keira, and it’s only for a few months.”
“I ain’t trying to hear that shit, Camille. I told you specifically not to go acting up now that I was booked. Look at you wildin’ now.”
“If you care to freaking ask, I’m struggling right now with a ten thousand dollar bill I need to pay for school. Do you have it for me, Joshua?!” I yelled. “Hell no! Not when you’re behind bars.”
“Trust me if I was out, you wouldn't have shit to worry about,” he tried to assure me, but I knew better. Joshua was loose with money. He spent it like it grew on trees because he only cared about showing off for everyone in the streets. I’ll let him have his little dream though. I knew what it was and he was not someone I can rely on financially. “I don’t know why you’re in school anyway. All it’s gonna do is keep you in debt while you’re teaching people bad ass kids. You don’t need that shit, Camille. You’re a queen and suppose to be sitting
next to a king.”
“A king?” I reiterated.
“A street king.”
The recording came back on, and I was granted a few seconds of a mental break from Joshua’s bullshit talk. For whatever reason Asahd came to my mind. That was the definition of a street king. Not Joshua wanna be community dick ass. It was good to dream, but what good was a dream if you weren’t going to make it a reality?
Everyone knew of the Moseley brothers in Philly. They had an uncle name Ern whose name rung bells in the street. Word has it that he retired and now the three nephews were running his drug business.
It wasn’t no secret that they were drug dealers. Shit, they were more than that. While some men stood on corners, sat in trap houses or made sales through phone calls, the Moseley’s never got their hands dirty, and till this day no one can prove exactly what they did especially since they had strings of legal businesses throughout the city. Ern had everything set up where the city officials were on his payroll. The residents of the city adored him, and the men that weren’t directly under him had no choice but to respect him and his boys.
I knew more about Zayne than the other two because of Keira’s dealings with him. What she did know she told me, and I couldn’t help the fact that I was attracted to Asahd although I knew I shouldn’t have been. He was everything I told myself I wouldn’t deal with after having to put up with Joshua.
“Ok, Josh. I don’t care for a street nigga.”
“But you with one.”
“Look, I should be there soon.”
“About that, I was calling to tell you not to come up. Some shit happened and my visits got revoked.”
“Ok. I’ll talk to you later,” I told him relieved I really ain’t have to come up there. He’s been locked up for two months, and the hold he had on me was loosening. Ask me a few months ago I didn’t think I would be feeling this way, but here I was. He was making me sick and now that I had time to ponder about everything we’ve been through I was fed up and really ready to cut the ties we had. There wasn’t no doubt that I cared for him which was why I was still around. He had court next month, and the minute he was released, I was going to put everything out in the open for him. I didn’t believe in kicking people when they were down.