by Belle Brooks
Clutching the door handle, I pedal my feet backwards. “Slade, you fucker!” I roar as the car beings reversing out. With sheer desperation, I manage to swing the door wide and move into the narrow space. Rose sits frozen. I grab her arms and lift her out and onto my chest.
Her body trembles as she howls hysterically, and all I can do is hold Rose and run towards the house as she bear-claws me.
“Tess. Where the fuck are you?” I shout as I place Rose just inside the front door. “Rose, go upstairs, lock the bedroom door, and do not open it for anyone but me. Do it now,” I command in a strained whisper.
Rose doesn’t hesitate to sprint away.
“Tessa. Tessa. TESS!” My heart leaps in my throat as I turn in circles. “Where are you?”
The sound of wheels screeching down the driveway has me following with my eyes. Is she in the vehicle? Flicking my sight in the direction of where I shoulder-charged Slade’s muscle man, I realise he’s not there.
“TESS! Answer me.” My heart thumps loudly, and my hands are clutched so tightly from my rage, I swing them wildly into thin air.
“TEEEESSSSSA!” The entire length of my throat burns from this primal roar of her name.
“Tank, I have her. I have her.” Caterina is shaking as I turn to look at the front door and race to her aid.
“Where’s Tessa?” I’m clutching Caterina’s shoulders, almost ready to shake her from my worry.
“On the floor in the kitchen. I managed to get her back inside and I’ve called for an ambulance, but I really could do with your help.”
“Oh fuck!”
Tessa’s frail body is the shade of a blueberry when I rush to her side. “Where’s her fucking oxygen tank?” I shout.
“I don’t know. I’d not long arrived before the commotion started. Deidre never made it into work today.”
“What?”
“Tank, I don’t know what happened, but as soon as the agency rang me to say my fill-in wasn’t coming, I came straight here. We need to get Tessa to the oxygen machine in her bedroom, but I can’t lift her.”
Sliding one hand under Tessa’s head and the other under her knees, I carry her with haste, and the entire time I whisper, “Tessa, wake up.”
She doesn’t.
When I gently lay her on the bed, Caterina places the almost astronaut-looking mask over her mouth and nose.
“This isn’t good, Tank.” Caterina’s pulled-tight face only escalates my concern.
“Please, Tess.” Laying my head to her chest, I will it to rise and fall with more pressure, but it doesn’t. She’s hardly breathing.
The sirens blast loudly and as they grow nearer, I hold my breath and hope to hell they can give her the air she needs. “I’m going to direct the ambulance.”
“I’ll do it,” Caterina says.
“No. I can’t stay here. I feel useless.” I run at full pace, and by the time I make it to the doorway, the paramedics are rushing in. “That way.” My hand trembles as I outstretch it in the direction they need to go. I don’t follow the paramedics in. Instead, I pace a track back and forth in front of the lounge chair, hoping they will see her safe.
Tessa is rolled past me on a long stretcher, and as I walk by her side, it’s clear to see she has a much better colour about her, but still looks an awful fright.
“I’m riding with her, Tank. Are you following?” Caterina yells in passing.
“Yes.”
The room is spinning, and I’m trying to compose myself, but the need to cry is creeping from my heart to the back of my eyes, growing stronger with every passing second. I don’t think I’ve shed a tear or two since Penny died.
“Finlay.” It’s a soft whispering of my name, and when I shift my eyes in the direction of the staircase, I spot Rose.
“Are you okay?” I march towards her.
“Is Tessa?”
“I don’t think so.” I’m struggling to control the wave of emotions crashing through me.
“I’m so sorry.” Rose bursts into a flood of tears as I pull her against my chest.
“Rose, I can’t keep you safe here,” I whisper.
“I know.” She sobs.
Rose’s eyes are bug-wide and her lips shiver as if she is cold, although she isn’t cold to touch, and it’s over thirty-degrees outside, so I think it’s from shock. “I’m so sorry, Tank.”
“What happened?” My tone is anger-fuelled even though I try to tame it.
“I answered a knock at the door, and Slade was standing there. He grabbed my arm and said I had to go with him. Tessa tried to get Slade to leave, but he wouldn’t go without me.” Rose’s teeth chatter as she speaks. “He dragged me out and I saw Tessa chasing us ... I told her to go back inside. There was someone else with Slade, and he was the one who threw Tessa’s oxygen tank into the hedge out the front. I saw him do it. After her tank was gone, she fell to the ground. I somehow managed to twist out of Slade’s grip and run back to her, but I was soon dragged away again.”
“That’s when I turned up.”
“Yes,” Rose whispers. “Tank, if you hadn’t arrived when you did …”
“You’d be gone and Tessa would be dead.”
“Yes.” She cries.
The constant beeping of the machine tracking Tessa’s heartrate beside her bed tells me she’s alive. Her warm hand, which is tucked into mine, calms my panicked state because it indicates she’s getting sufficient oxygen supply to sustain life.
I just wish she’d wake up. The doctors reassure me it shouldn’t be much longer until she does.
Staring into space, I think back to the hurried conversation Rose and I had on the way to the hospital. I had no choice but to bring Rose with me—I couldn’t leave her alone in the house fending for herself after today’s stunt. Who knows what else is to come or what Slade is capable of?
“Finlay.” Tessa’s husky voice is weak.
“You silly old bird, why did you try and be a hero?” I’m relieved, until my jaw clenches and my heart races with the want to wring bloody Tessa’s neck to teach her a lesson.
“Did you get to Rose?” Tessa’s free hand lifts until it rests against the mask covering her nose and mouth.
“I did. She was here at the hospital, but I thought it best that she goes back to the house with the boys. She’s safe at home. Rance and Blocker are staying with her until I return home.” I stroke my hand through Tessa’s hair with one hand and squeeze her other hand gently.
“Oh good,” she breathes.
“Tess, you shouldn’t—”
“I did what I had to.”
“No. You almost wound up dead.”
“It was worth it.” There’s slight laughter in her tone.
“How are you feeling?”
“Okay, I think. Was I asleep long?” Her dull eyes search mine.
“A while.”
“Okay.”
“Close your eyes, Tess, and get some more rest.”
Tessa ignores me. What’s new? Bloody woman never listens to a word I say. When she lifts the mask off her mouth, I try to put it back on.
“Stop. I need to tell you something important.” There’s urgency in her voice.
“Nothing is more important than air. I can hear you speak through the mask, so let me put it back on.”
She allows me to slip it into place.
“You once asked why you were the only one to never leave me in foster care. Do you remember?”
“Yes.”
It’s a long pause. “I once had a child, Fin.”
I go to speak. My lips part. My tongue reaches my pallet.
“Don’t say anything—just let me tell you the story first.”
I nod.
“I once carried and gave birth to my own baby, Finlay. It was with a man I thought I loved, but he wasn’t good to me … He was a lot like Slade.” A small tear falls from the corner of her eye. “My baby was taken away from me the day after she was born, and although I fought for her, I really fought
for her, Finlay, eventually I had to give up my fight, because I knew even if I did win, I wouldn’t be able to keep her safe.”
“Tess.” It’s all but a hush.
“When you turned up at my door, I knew you, Finlay. I knew your face. It didn’t take long for me to learn your mother was the baby I’d no choice but to say goodbye to.”
I’m stunned into silence.
“My little girl also ended up being fostered out when her father no longer wanted her … I never knew this had happened to her back then.”
My heart thuds one intense beat before I say, “Tessa, are you my …”
“Grandmother? Yes, Finlay. I am. I know I told you I didn’t know who your parents were or where to find them, but I do know.”
“Where are they?” I’m not even sure if I want to know, but without thought, the question passes through my lips.
“West Hoffman Cemetery. They both died in an alley from a heroin overdose when you were six years old.”
“Tessa, I’m so sorry you lost your daughter.”
“It’s me who should be sorry, Fin. I’ve kept this from you for a really long time. I just thought if you didn’t know—”
“Tessa. Why are you telling me now?”
She seems too weary to answer. “I planned to tell you on my death bed, but I’m realising that day can come at any time. I guess I was afraid you’d hate me for …” She stops speaking.
“I’m glad you did—tell me, that is. But knowing or not knowing would never change the way I feel about you. You’ve done more for me than any person in my life, and to find out you’re my blood, my grandmother, is just icing on the cake at this point. I can never repay you for what you’ve given me.”
“That’s what grandmothers are for, Grandson.”
And without warning, liquid spills from my eyes as I lay my head down on my grandmother’s chest and silently sob.
I’ve always had a guardian angel protecting me, and she goes by the name of Tessa.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Rose
Lad’s Motorcycles—it’s what the emblem says on the breast of the black polo shirt I not long ago pulled over my head. Running my finger over the stitching as I sit on the bed I’m sharing with Fin, I think about how glad I am to be going into work with him. He told me not to leave his side, and that suits me just fine.
Friday sees the end of a week I’d prefer not to relive—well, maybe not all of it, because I think I’m falling in love with Finlay.
“Are you ready?” Finlay’s standing in the bedroom doorway, shirtless and with a pair of dark-stained jeans hanging from his hips. It’s a vision I’d enjoy getting used to seeing daily.
“Almost.” I smile at him broadly as he swaggers towards me.
“Remember, you don’t leave my sight.”
“I won’t,” I promise, as his finger slips under my chin and he lifts it. “I have to keep you safe until I figure out what to do.”
“I know.”
Bending at his waist, Finlay tilts his head before pressing his lips to mine. I moan from this simple connection. I’ve no doubt he has put a spell on me, one I believe existed from the moment he held me on the day of his accident.
My lips stay pursed even after he’s gone, and when I flutter open my eyelashes, he’s smiling. “You’re beautiful, Rose. You deserve to be treated like a goddess.”
I know I’m flushed. How could I maintain composure after having him speak to me in such a way? Running my eyes down his chest, I sit admiring the inked rose and dragon tattoo taking up a large portion of his skin. When did he get this?
“Rose?” Finlay stares at me. It’s an almost puzzled look.
“Huh?”
“Do you want to know what they mean?” He points to his chest.
“Yes,” I breathe.
Taking my fingers, Finlay controls them as he skirts the tips over the coloured ink. “The dragon represents the protector, and the rose is symbolic of innocence. All five of us lads have a variation of this rose tattoo.”
“You do.” I pause. “Blocker has the skull.”
“Yes.” He smiles as he releases my hand. “Blocker does have the skull with the rose, and the significance of the two for him is life and death. Sailor has a serpent and the rose. For Sailor, the serpent and the rose represent the bloom of new life. Tardo has a cross and a wilting rose, and for him this implies the end of life and loss of innocence. Lastly, Rance has a tiger holding a rose between its teeth, which for him symbolises a fierce leader who will protect the innocent, but if you ask, he’ll tell you it’s because chicks dig big tats and it gets you laid if you have one.”
I snicker.
“We all had them done after Penny died.”
“A tribute?”
“No. I don’t think so. I think it was a way to represent how shitty our lives were, and maybe how one day they could get better. I don’t know. It’s just something we decided to do together.”
Sliding my hand to the back of my neck, I squeeze tightly. “And the ones on the tops of your arms, Fin?”
“Those ones I’ll tell you about tonight, because if we don’t get going we’re going to be late and I need to make a quick call on the way to the car.”
“Okay.”
The shop is bustling, and even though I don’t know much about how to work anything, I take great delight in unpacking boxes of clothing and seeing to it that they’re housed in the right areas. Every now and then, Finlay checks in on me, but most of the day I spend with a country boy name Connor. I like him, mainly because he has a rogue boyish charm and a charismatic personality. He leaves me wondering what my life would have been like if my family and I had never left our little farming community a long way away from Hoffman.
When 3:00 p.m. arrives, Finlay relieves me of my duties because we’re collecting Alan from school. Today, he gets his new prosthetic leg, and I’m not sure who’s more nervous once we arrive at the physiotherapy centre, Finlay or Alan.
Watching Alan slip on a jogging shoe to his now fake right foot before standing and swaggering in our direction has a tear brimming in my eyes. Finlay laughs, but I think it’s because he’s trying hard not to let his emotion get to him, and when I shift my attention to him, his face beams with a fatherly pride.
“What do you think, Rose? I’m pretty hot, right?” Alan’s eyebrows wiggle, and it causes me to laugh out. “Yes. So very handsome.”
“Heeeey.” Finlay draws out the word.
“If I were at least six years younger, I’m sorry, Fin, but I’d have to say Alan would take my eye.” I hold my hands up in front of me in defence.
“Come here, you.” My back meets Fin’s front when he twirls me into him and he kisses my neck. Does this mean we are now in a relationship? It is a public display of affection.
“Get a room, you two. Fucking sick.” Alan fakes vomiting noises before we’re all in a fit of laughter.
I’m happy. The happiest I’ve ever been, and when we come to stop in front of a four-condo complex after leaving Alan’s appointment, even I’m puzzled as to what we’re doing here.
“Okay, here’s the plan.” Finlay has us in a huddle. “We need to enter each of these condos … Hang on, I’ll be right back.” He runs toward the utility, leaning through the window before jogging back and resuming our previous huddle. “What was I saying?”
“We need to go inside each of them.” Alan laughs.
“Yes. We need to check the furniture is set up, and on the table just inside there will be an envelope. Open the envelope and check which name is inside … We will need to put the right motorcycle key tag on the corresponding key ... got it?”
“Sure,” Alan replies.
“Rose?” Finlay speaks loudly.
“Yes. I understand.”
Taking the lift, I start to feel uneasy, but I’m not sure why.
“Rose, you take number one. I’ll take two, and Alan, you take three, and we’ll do four together. We don’t have a lot of time,
so rush around and come straight to unit four.” Finlay is almost bouncing on the spot when the elevator doors part. “Here are your keys.”
Turning this cut metal in the lock for door number one, I push it open and call out, “Hello.”
For some reason, I thought someone would reply. There’s not a sound.
I’m almost breathless as I rush through the large rooms, making sure there are furnishings in place. There are beautiful furnishings. Leather lounges, stainless steel appliances, two large wall hangings with pictures of motorbikes on them. There’s even one of the motorcycle shop with all five of the lads in it. A massive television is mounted on the wall, both in the lounge area as well as in the master bedroom … Fin did a great thing here for his friends. I head back in the direction I entered and stop when I see the envelope Finlay asked us to look for. I quickly turn it over to find it’s not sealed. Slipping out what I realise to be a simple postcard, I read the black print on the white front.
Lads for life … We’ll ride for life. Enjoy, Finlay.
I gasp as my hand rushes to my lips to stem any noise. Of course, there are four of them, so this means these condos are for Blocker, Rance, Sailor, and Tardo. Turning the postcard over, I read in big black letters: BLOCKER.
With a hard closing of the door, I race down a corridor and straight into Finlay’s unsuspecting arms. I take his chin on either side with my hands and kiss him so deeply, I have to break connection to breathe. “You’re amazing,” I whisper.
“Do you think they’ll like them?”
“Like them? They’ll love them. I’ll never understand how someone can be as selfless as you are.”
“I had to wait until they were built to get the boys out of the shitholes they live in. I feel bad it took so long, even more so since there’s been a break-in.”
“A break-in?”
“Forget I said anything.”
“You know they wouldn’t have ever expected something like this.” I honestly believe what I say to Fin.
“I know.” He’s suddenly fidgeting.