That’s when I hear the commotion start back up. “Joss!” I hear Tammy shriek from the hallway. “I know you’re in there with my little sister, you fucking asshole. Get out here right this minute!”
I sit up, clutching my head. “Aw fuck,” I groan.
“Yeah,” Mel answers bitterly.
Tammy commences pounding on the door and then I hear the low voice of one of my security guys trying to calm her down. I throw on my jeans commando as Mel gets her own top and jeans back on. I find my cell phone and hit speed-dial number one.
“Walsh?” I say as his sleepy voice answers.
“What the fuck, man?” he grunts. “It’s like—seven forty-five. We don’t have to go for another three hours.”
“Your future wife is off her leash,” I answer coldly.
“Don’t be an asshole, Joss,” he mumbles.
“She’s standing outside my dressing room at the auditorium about to tear the place to pieces. If it weren’t for the security guys, I’d be a eunuch by now.”
I hear Walsh groan and the sound of sheets rustling as he tries to get up and deal with this bullshit that has become our lives.
“What the hell did you do now?” he asks without preamble.
“You know, what I did or didn’t do isn’t really the issue here, dude. Your fiancée is out. Of. Control. You need to get your ass down here and rein her in.”
“Where is Mel?” he asks with unusual insight.
“Standing here next to me.” I’m not going to apologize for it, and Tammy’s not going to decide who the hell I can and can’t sleep with.
“Shit. Okay, I’m on my way. And next time, maybe you could give me a little warning before you go throwing a damn bomb into the middle of our tour.”
“Walsh, this is my life, you know? I’m not in the habit of asking permission to live it.”
I end the call and turn to Mel. She’s melted into the sofa as if she could hide out in the overstuffed cushions. I sit down next to her and place my palm along her cheek. “Hey.” She looks at me with despondent eyes. “Walsh is on his way. He’ll get her calmed down.”
She shakes her head. “How will this ever work when she’s so against it?”
“She’ll adjust. She’ll have to,” I answer.
“But what if she doesn’t?”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Right now, let’s try to relax, and as soon as Walsh is here, we can sit down and talk to her, okay?”
She sighs and rakes her hair out of her face. “I’ll be right back.” She stands and goes into the adjoining bathroom.
I exhale and collapse back against the sofa. If I didn’t know that Tammy would never, ever risk Walsh finding out about us, I’d be worried she’d spill the beans simply to keep Mel away from me, but I know she won’t do that. And as much as I hate to keep something from Mel, I know me sleeping with her sister would be a deal breaker. I’ll never tell her and neither will Tammy. If we can get Tammy to accept our relationship, we’ll be home free.
Why does that seem so unlikely right now?
When Mel comes out of the bathroom, she looks a little more confident.
“I’ve got to go talk to her,” she says.
“Wait until Walsh gets here,” I respond. “He’s the only one who can deal with her when she’s like this.”
She shakes her head. “She’s my sister, Joss. I know she can be over the top, but she loves me and she’s worried.” She heads for the door and I follow, grabbing a t-shirt and throwing it over my head as I go, my stomach sinking like a rock in a pond.
Mel opens the door and there stands Tammy, dressed in four-inch-high spiked-heel boots, skintight jeans, and a blouse with a plunging neckline, her hair drawn up in a severe ponytail. She’s in her battle clothes. Fuck.
She leans against the wall opposite our door, Jeff on one side of her and Ethan on the other. When we walk out, she lunges for me, but Jeff and Ethan catch her before she can get more than a step. I cross my arms and glare at her. Mel looks rapidly between us, her arms stretched out to the sides as though she could keep us away from one another.
“You prick!” Tammy hisses as Jeff and Ethan gently guide her back a couple of steps before they release her.
“Tammy!” Mel reprimands.
“Stay out of this, Mel,” Tammy snarls.
“What?! You didn’t actually say that to me!” Mel replies, her voice rising.
The security guys are looking at me in desperation now. We’re three guys about to witness a knock-down, drag-out catfight between two sisters, and while that might sound hot in theory, the reality is it involves a lot of high-pitched voices and hysteria that all of us would rather avoid.
“Look, Tammy,” I say.
Her head snaps to face me. “Don’t you even—”
I throw my hands up in a what the fuck gesture. “Not sure what you want here, Tammy.”
She steps toward me, and Jeff and Ethan move along with her, on heightened readiness in case she goes ninja on my ass. She stabs a finger at my face. “I want you to stay the hell away from my little sister. You know why, and I told you I would fight you every step of the way if you tried to do this.”
I shake my head.
“Tammy!” Mel exclaims. “This is not your decision to make. I’m an adult. What does it take to get that through to you? You can’t control this. Joss has been nothing but wonderful to me, and if he decides not to be at some point, that’s my problem to deal with, not yours.”
Tammy looks at Mel then back at me. I shrug, indicating Mel’s said everything there is to say on the topic.
I see a poisonous look cross Tammy’s face, and she folds her arms tightly. “All right, if you won’t take care of yourself, you leave me no choice. I’m sorry to do this, but you’re fired, Mel. You’ll have to leave the tour. You can go back to Mom and Dad’s or stay at my place in Portland, but your job here is over.” She flashes me a triumphant look.
Mel is speechless for a minute as I shake my head. I can’t believe Tammy actually went there. I don’t want to humiliate her, but she’s leaving me no choice.
“You can’t do that!” Mel shouts. “She can’t do that, can she?” She looks at me.
“No, of course she can’t. Tammy, be reasonable,” I say in the calmest voice I can muster. “Don’t do this. You’re going to end up breaking something that can’t be fixed.” I look at her hard, trying to convey everything I’m not saying.
“I told you I’d do whatever it took to keep you away from her, Joss. I meant it. Mel, pack your shit. I’ll get you a plane reservation.”
Mel looks at me, lost. I’m left with no choice.
“Tammy? You can’t fire Mel. You and Dave may have hired her, but she works for me, and only I can fire her, which I won’t, in case you didn’t already know that. In addition, if I think you’re so emotionally compromised by this whole thing that you can’t do your job, I’ll send your ass home instead.”
Naturally, it is right at that moment that Walsh walks in.
“Over my dead body,” he says coldly, the new, more assertive Walsh showing through in spades.
I spin to face him as he strides down the hall, ready to defend his woman.
Goddammit.
“It’s not what it sounds like,” I’m quick to add.
“Yeah? ‘Cause it sounded a whole hell of a lot like you were threatening Tammy’s job because she pissed you off.”
“She fired me, Walsh,” Mel chimes in. “Joss was only trying to make the point that she’s out of control and isn’t allowed to fire me.”
“Baby,” Walsh talks quietly to Tammy as he takes her hand. “This isn’t going to go anywhere good. Let’s get out of here now. Maybe later you and Mel can talk…alone.” He throws me a nasty look. I respond by raising one eyebrow.
“I won’t stand by and let him ruin her life,” Tammy persists.
Walsh whispers something in her ear as he rubs his hands up and down her arms. She shakes her head and loo
ks at the floor. He whispers more to her, and she nods her head, just barely. I can see the moment her body language changes, the point at which she gives up and lets him take over.
Walsh leans down and kisses her on the temple. “Come on, sweetheart, I brought a car. Let’s have them take us to breakfast. Anywhere you want to go.”
She nods sadly, the fight draining out of her before our very eyes. I feel my heart contract as I wish so very much that we’d never gotten to this heavy, ugly, sad place.
“Tammy,” Mel says as Walsh puts his arm around his fiancée and turns toward the exit. Tammy looks back at Mel, her face a vision of destruction and desolation. “You’re my sister and I love you, but you have to let me live my life. You’ve got to stop this before you ruin us.”
I wonder which “us” Mel is referring to.
Tammy shakes her head and walks away with Walsh.
Five minutes later, I get a text from Walsh: If you ever threaten her again, I’ll walk. And if you hurt Mel, you and I are done.
A sharp pain lances through my chest as I realize that, whether he ever finds out about Tammy and me or not, it’s destroyed us anyway. I’ve lost the best friend I ever had.
Mel
THE RIDE back to the hotel after Joss and I slept together the first time is uncomfortable, awkward, silent. Basically everything you don’t want after having passionate, unforgettable sex with someone.
Joss sits and looks out the window of the car as we’re driven by Jeff and Ethan. I’m not sure what he’s thinking about, but I know I’m worried to death about my sister. Tammy’s intense, yes, but I’ve never seen her like this. Her protective streak has reached a new level, and I can’t shake the feeling that there is something much more to it than her worry for me. One thing I know for sure is I’ve got to have a talk with Walsh in private. Maybe the pressure of his addiction and recovery is taking its toll on her. Something’s not right, and if she needs help, Walsh and I have to make sure she gets it.
When we arrive at the hotel, I assume we’ll go our separate ways. I’m heartbroken, but it’s pretty obvious Joss doesn’t want the baggage of trying to be with me, and I don’t blame him. Tammy is more than a road block, she’s the Berlin Wall.
We’re in the elevator when he suddenly turns to me. He reaches out and softly touches my hair. “Will you come to my suite with me?” he asks in a low voice.
“Um, what for?”
His hand drops and I see him shake off a shudder. “I don’t know. We’ve got a few hours before we have to load up the bus. I thought maybe we could have some room service, hang out, talk.”
“Are we going to talk about what happened this morning? Because after that, I don’t see what else there is to talk about.”
The elevator doors open and he takes my hand in his firmly as he leads me down the hall to his room. Once we’re inside, he closes the door then backs me against it, his arms caging me in as his head drops alongside mine.
“This morning was awful, Mel, I get that. I know it may not seem like it, but I don’t want to hurt your sister any more than you do. She and Walsh have been my world for a long time, but that doesn’t stop what I’m feeling for you right now.” He kisses my neck then strokes my face with the backs of his fingers as he pulls away and looks me in the eye.
“It’s time for me and Tammy and Walsh to move on with our lives. He was sick and Tammy and I helped him out of it, out of that place, but now it’s time to let go. He’s getting better, I can see it, and they’ve got each other. I don’t know why she’s so opposed to this,”—he gestures between us—“but she’ll get over it.”
He kisses me again, on the corners of my lips, then the tip of my nose. His hand is at my waist, his thumb rubbing softly on the bare skin he’s exposed by pushing my t-shirt up at my midriff.
Any resolve I may have is faltering. I’m sure he knows it as I let out a small sigh and arch into his touch.
“Mel,” he rumbles. “Don’t let her ruin this for us. We’re fantastic together. You know we are. Last night proved it. This,”—he strokes his tongue across my lips—“proves it.”
I can’t think. I have to get some space. I push halfheartedly at his chest. “You have to let me breathe here, Joss. I can’t think when you’re doing that.”
He chuckles. “Sort of the point, sweet Mel.”
I push again and he sighs and steps back. I move around him, careful not to touch any part of him, and walk to the enormous windows that run along one whole side of the living room in his suite. I look outside at the sunny Colorado day as the cars of downtown crawl along the street twenty floors below us.
“I’ve never seen her like this,” I say quietly.
He comes and stands behind me, not touching but close enough I can feel his warmth.
“I know,” he answers. “And I hate it too. We were really good friends for a long time, you know.”
“She always talked about you like you were one of her favorite people, and then one day it just stopped. What happened?”
I feel him shrug. “I don’t know. Walsh going to rehab changed everything for all three of us. It can’t go back to the way it was, and I’ve accepted that.”
I nod. Something still isn’t fitting. I’m missing a piece here, and maybe Joss doesn’t have the answers, but Tammy does, if I can only get her to give them up.
“But, Mel, that doesn’t have anything to do with us.”
I spin to face him, nearly losing my breath at how close he is. “But it does, Joss. I love my sister. She’s taken care of me my whole life. It’s hard to see her this way and feel like I did it to her.”
“I know,” he says softly as he looks at me with such tenderness in his eyes. “I want you to be happy, Mel. I think I can make you happy, and we’ll work on Tammy together. Can you let me try?”
I look up at his beautiful face, his green eyes and strong jaw, just the perfect amount of stubble softening the angles. His broad shoulders beckon to me, and the smooth skin of his hard chest is visible above the collar of his shirt. Until this morning, I thought his rock star lifestyle was my biggest fear, but now something more sinister lurks on the edges of my consciousness. Something tied to Tammy’s excessive reaction to Joss and me. But it’s so much easier to ignore it right now. So much easier to simply give in to my wants, my desires, my heart.
“Okay,” I say. “But we need to take it slow. Let me keep talking to her and see if I can get her to come around. Let’s not flaunt it.”
He reaches out and pulls me closer, wrapping his long, strong arms around my waist and resting his chin on the top of my head. “Whatever you want. We’ll keep it quiet. As long as I can be with you, Mel. I want you way too fucking much to give you up. Not for your sister, not for anyone.”
He sets me away from him and then takes my hand before leading me to the bedroom, where he proves that he can rock me as fabulously off a stage as on one, until it’s time to load up the bus and move on to the next city.
WE’VE BEEN on the bus for three hours when Tammy finally heads to her room, leaving Walsh in the main compartment. Joss and I didn’t sit together. He’s been working on some stuff with the head of the crew, and Tammy and Walsh kept to themselves in a back corner, leaving me to catch up on some sleep.
Once I see Tammy leave, I get up and walk back to Walsh. “Can I sit here?” I ask him.
He smiles at me, but it’s a sad smile. “Sure, Little D. Have a seat.”
I slide into the cushy captain’s chair, not too sure what should come next.
“I guess you’re not really Little D anymore though, are you?” Walsh says as he nudges me with his elbow. I can feel my face heat up.
“I haven’t been for a long time, Walsh. Some people don’t seem to have noticed though.”
“She loves you so much, you know?” he responds as he looks out the window. “She loves hard, your sister. She’s just wired that way. And it’s a damn good thing for me, Mel, because I’ve put her through hell.”
&
nbsp; I place my hand on his arm. Walsh is a really good guy. I know he would never have hurt Tammy if he could have helped it.
“It wasn’t your fault, Walsh. You have a disease, and it got the best of you for a while. Tammy understands that.”
His head pivots to face me suddenly, and I can see the toll this has had on him. The pressure he’s under. Walsh is so easygoing, so happy generally, that he doesn’t usually show when he’s in pain. He hides it well, and I guess that’s how he ended up in rehab.
“Don’t make excuses for me, Mel. It doesn’t help. What I did was selfish and unfair to the people who loved me, especially your sister. Sometimes I’m afraid I broke her, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, confused now.
“She hasn’t been the same since I got out of rehab. It’s like she’s so scared something’s going to take me away from her. I’ve been clean, Mel. I swear it—not one slip. I won’t do that to her. I love her too much to put her through that again. But it’s like she can’t relax. I catch her sometimes when she thinks she’s alone. She cries, Mel. Sits there looking at pictures of us before I went to rehab and just cries.”
Anyone who knows my sister knows she doesn’t cry over much of anything. I haven’t seen her cry in years, although I’m sure she cried when Walsh got so sick. But now that he’s out and doing fine? Why?
“Have you asked her about it?”
“Only once. She blew it off as PMS, but I know something’s not right. There’s this desperation to her. When—well, when we’re alone.” He looks at me and raises his eyebrows, insinuating what “alone” means. “Every time is like she thinks it’ll be the last time. I don’t know what it is, Mel, but she’s not okay.”
“Well, this morning did nothing to dispel that view,” I answer ruefully.
Walsh runs his hands down his thighs like he can wipe away the memories. “Yeah, I couldn’t get her to talk about it at all. And just so you know, I’m not saying I’m good with you and Joss, but I also know you’re an adult, and if you want to take that chance with him, then so be it. I’ll always be here for you no matter what happens.”
A Lush Betrayal Page 13