“Tam, I’m not going to laugh at you.”
Tamara took a deep breath. “Do you still… I mean do you still…”
“Do I still what?” Emma asked.
“Do you still, you know! Do you still want Addy like you did back then?”
Emma smiled. “Are you asking me if we still have sex, Tam?”
“No!”
Emma couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m not laughing at you; I swear. Is that what has you worried?”
“You think it’s stupid.”
“No, actually I don’t.”
“Really?”
Emma nodded. “No. I worried about that when I got pregnant with Vicki. I worried about it a lot.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“Why? Because you thought she’d think you were fat or something?”
Emma laughed. “No. Addy isn’t like that. More because I knew it would change our lives so much, and it did.”
“See.”
“I do see. But, Tam you don't have kids yet, and you’ve been living with Christie for six years.”
“I know. But, Em, once we get married she will want to start thinking about that other part.”
“Kids?” Emma asked. Tamara nodded. “I thought you wanted that?”
“I do.”
Emma took a deep breath. “We need wine for this conversation,” she said. Emma picked up Tamara’s mug and dumped it down the sink. She moved to the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of white wine.
“Em, it’s eleven-thirty in the morning.”
“Yep, and there are no kids here. And, I can do laundry drunk—trust me.”
Tamara laughed. “Are we getting drunk?”
“Hey, I’m not due in at any office. You?”
“Nope.”
“Well, there you go.”
“I get it. When the kids are away, the parents will play,” Tamara surmised.
Emma grinned evilly before turning to pour the wine. Tamara noticed the sparkle in her friend’s eyes.
“Oh… No way! You and Addy are playing hormone raging teenagers this week!”
Emma spun on her heels and shook her head. “You have an amazing way with words.”
“Oh, come on. You are. Just admit it.”
Emma handed Tamara a glass and smiled. “I’m not sure that hormone raging teenagers is the right description. Let’s just say that I am enjoying having my wife all to myself when she gets home.”
“I gotta hand it to you, Em.”
“What’s that?”
“Addy was like a sulky two-year-old Saturday. Explains the improvement in her mood the last few days. Guess you figured out how to take her mind off the empty nest syndrome she was infected with.”
Emma sipped her wine. “The truth is there is no cure,” Emma said. “We both miss the girls, so much that sometimes it physically hurts, Tam.”
“That does not sound appealing.”
Emma chuckled. “Not all day, every day. Just at certain times. For me, it’s when she leaves, which is always before me.”
“Yeah… How did you end up with today at home?”
Emma shrugged. “I was at the studio late with Addy last night,” she explained. “As in four in the morning late.”
“Geez, Em. You didn’t have to get up to have me over, you know?”
“I was up anyway. I can’t sleep much past eight. Hannah never does.”
Tamara nodded. “You really are missing them.”
“I am,” Emma confessed. “But, I have enjoyed being alone with Addy in the evening.”
“I’ll bet,” Tamara chuckled as she sipped her wine. It surprised her when Emma blushed. “I’m just teasing.”
“But you are also right,” Emma said. She lifted her wine glass to her lips and nurtured a long sip. Emma was comfortable talking about nearly anything and everything with Tamara. They had never discussed Addy and Emma’s sex life. There was no cause, and Emma was certain that on some level Tamara found it creepy. Addison was Tamara’s best friend, just as Christie had been one of Emma’s closest friends for years. Tamara confided in Emma about many of her insecurities. Sex was not a topic that they engaged in seriously.
“Em, it’s cool if you don’t want to talk about this. It’s my issue as Christie pointed out the other night.”
“What did she say?”
Tamara’s cheeks colored.
“Oh,” Emma surmised the answer from the pink tint of Tamara’s cheeks. “That sometimes is the best way to break the ice,” she said honestly. “Tam, listen. The thing is you’re not wrong.”
“Great.”
“But, you aren’t right either,” Emma said.
“That sounds more like my logic than yours.”
Emma smiled. “Backward?’
“You said it.”
“Listen, before Vicki arrived, Addison and I only had each other to think about. Well, that’s not exactly true. But, you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, you were fucking like rabbits.”
“Very romantic, Tam.”
Tamara shrugged.
“No,” Emma said. “And, I doubt you are either. We did have freedom. We didn’t have to worry about a toddler climbing out of bed and landing in our room in the middle of the night or babies fussing because of hunger. It was different. It wasn’t better.”
“What if she loses interest in me?”
Emma shook her head. “If that happens it won’t be because you got married and had a family,” Emma said bluntly.
“What if it’s not enough?”
“Enough?” Emma was confused.
“For her. What if we make this official and we fill the house with 2.5 kids and get a dog like you two, and she finds out that isn’t what she wanted. I mean that I’m not…”
“Tamara,” Emma grabbed hold of Tamara’s hand. “Stop this right now.”
“I can’t. Emma, what if I suck at it? What if I disappoint her? I know what to do now. You know? I know how to reach her, and I know…”
“I get it,” Emma said. “You need to let go of this fear.”
“I know,” Tamara hung her head.
“Are you sure that what you want is a family with Christie?” Emma asked.
Tamara’s head popped up. “Yeah. I just don’t want to lose what we have.”
Emma smiled. “So, don’t. You know, I didn’t realize how much I missed Addy until the kids left.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean just what I said. I missed cornering her in the shower before work. I missed making love to her after an evening swim in the pool. I missed her.”
“See?”
“I do see. It’s not as if we don’t make love, Tam if that is what you are thinking. It just isn’t as spontaneous as it was before we were parents. I guess if anything the last few days have reminded me to take time for just us—even if that is a weekend or an afternoon. We need time to just to be Addy and Emma without work, and kids, and all the crap that goes with life.”
“Can I ask you something else?”
“As long as it isn’t about which stroke she uses in the pool.”
“Oh, Em! Gross!”
Emma snorted. “Go ahead.”
Tamara took a deep breath. “Do you still love Addy as much as you did when you met?”
The question took Emma off guard. She closed her eyes as images of Addison passed through her thoughts. It took her a moment to gather herself. “Do I love her as much?” she repeated the question.
“Yeah. Do you, honestly?”
“No,” Emma said. Tamara’s mouth opened. “I love her so much more, I can’t even believe it,” Emma said. Tamara looked at Emma in awe. Emma’s eyes had gone misty. “I love her more than anything in this world,” Emma said. “She’s the reason I have my family, Tam. Sometimes she drives me nuts,” Emma admitted. “I’ve never once regretted our life. I wouldn’t change it.”
“You really are the Brady Bunch.”
&
nbsp; “Hardly,” Emma laughed. She sipped her wine again. “We don’t get to solve our problems in half an hour,” she said honestly. “And, before you go making some other crazy comparison, we do have our problems. We get through them because we love each other.”
“I hope we can do that.”
“Want my advice?” Emma asked.
“Yes.”
“Don’t stop taking her by surprise, and she won’t stop surprising you,” Emma said.
“Oh, so… lock the bathroom door when the kid starts walking.”
“Something like that—yes. I don’t just mean in the bedroom, Tam. Just remember what drew you to her in the first place and you will be fine.”
“So, you are okay with us doing it here?”
“You’re not using my shower.”
“Emma! I meant the wedding.”
Emma laughed. “I know. Of course, you can. You know, my folks will be here all that week.”
“Yeah, I know. I hoped they would join us. You know, my parents aren’t all that…”
“I’m sure they would love to. They love you. Who else did you want to invite?” Emma asked.
“Christie’s mom, you and Addy, Sandra, Jeff and Brody, and the kids.”
“That’s it?”
Tamara nodded.
“You weren’t kidding about small,” Emma said. Tamara’s eyes became colored by emotion and Emma reached out for her. “Tam?”
Tamara started to cry and shook her head. “I just want the people I love there.”
Emma nodded. She moved from her seat and wrapped Tamara in a hug. Tamara had struggled with her family for years, mainly her mother. It was something that she and Addison had in common—rejection. Tamara’s father and her extended family supported her, but her mother’s disapproval had always been evident. Tamara had kept her distance more and more over the years. It made Emma’s heart ache. Addison had managed to cultivate a stronger relationship with her father since Vicki had been born. At times, it remained strained and painful. Old hurts lingered even amid new acceptance and understanding. Pivotal moments in life—milestones—those times often served to conjure hidden pain back to the surface. Emma understood that intimately. She’d held Addison through more than one tearful, sleepless night.
“Tam,” Emma comforted her friend. “We all love you, you know? Addy loves you. I love you. The kids love you.”
“I know,” Tamara admitted. “Sometimes, Em…”
“It’s not the same,” Emma said.
“No,” Tamara agreed. “And, that makes me feel guilty.”
“Guilty? Oh, sweetie, we all understand that we aren’t a replacement for your family.”
Tamara shook her head. “You are my family,” she said. “As fucked up as that might be or sound, you are. They haven’t been my family in a long time, Emma. You and Addy are my family. I mean outside of Christie and her mom.”
Emma smiled. Behind the mask of Tamara’s quirky and sometimes biting humor, Tamara was deeply sensitive and incredibly caring. One thing Emma did know, other than Christie Shelton, no one in the world meant more to Tamara than Addison did. “You are our family too,” Emma assured her.
Tamara wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I hate this mushy shit.”
Emma laughed. Well, her vows ought to be interesting. She leaned in and placed a wet kiss on Tamara’s cheek.
“Ick! Em!”
Emma laughed and returned to her seat. “Feel better?” she asked. Tamara groaned. “So, what do you say we plan this wedding of yours?”
“I hope you have more of this,” Tamara held up her glass.
“Plenty.”
***
“You look tired,” Christie told Addy.
Addison sighed. “I am. Late night, last night. Scrambling to replace Denise for today. Thank God for Emma.”
Christie smiled. “She pulled another rabbit out of the hat, huh?”
“You could say that. I was on the phone for hours. She made a few calls and boom.”
“People respect her, Addy.”
Addison smiled. “Yes, I know. So? How do you feel about things?”
Christie smiled. “You mean things as in the show?”
Addison’s gaze narrowed. “I did until you just asked me that. What’s going on? What is Tam up to now?”
“Marriage.”
“Come again?”
Christie giggled. “We’re getting married.”
“Yep, I know. I was there when she asked, remember?”
“How could I forget?” Christie laughed. “I meant that we set a date.”
“That’s why she wanted to see Em today,” Addison mumbled.
Christie nodded. “Yeah, I think so.”
“When?”
“Two weeks,” Christie said.
“Wow.”
“Surprised?”
“A little,” Addison confessed. “Don’t get me wrong; I know that she wants to. I also know that she’s scared shitless. Which—again—is why she is with Em,” Addison smiled.
“Partly,” Christie said. She offered Addison a sheepish grin.
“Oh boy, what is Tam up to?”
“Nothing. She just was hoping we could do something small at your place when the girls get home.”
Addison tipped her head as she tried to process the information. “She wants to get married at our house?”
“Yeah,” Christie replied. Addison chuckled and shook her head with amusement.
“You don’t seem that surprised.”
“I’m not,” Addison said. “She proposed there, why not make it official there too,” she laughed.
“True,” Christie agreed.
“Just one question.”
“What’s that?” Christie wondered.
“How do you feel about that?”
“Me?”
“Yes—you,” Addison replied.
“I’m fine with it. Honestly, Addy, I wouldn’t care if she wanted to just go down to City Hall.”
Addison nodded. “Nah. She will want the people she cares about there. Deep down she’s a complete sap,” Addison observed.
Christie burst out laughing. “Don’t ever tell her you know that.”
“Nah, I’ll let her live in her own private La La Land.”
“How are you doing with the kids away?” Christie shifted topics.
Addison sighed and shrugged. “I have my moments,” she admitted. “Mostly it’s in the morning for both of us, I think. It just seems weird without them being home.”
“I’ll bet they are having a ball.”
Addison grinned. “Safe bet. Vicki’s phone calls have gotten shorter by the day. The first day she asked to call Em five times,” Addison said. “Yesterday? She couldn’t wait to get off the phone. Big things happening in Kansas apparently. Who knew?”
“Ah, but that is like Oz to her.”
Addison chuckled. That was true and it was bizarre. People dreamed their entire lives of coming to Hollywood. They envisioned a land of bright lights in a big city that made stars appear on earth. Addy and Emma’s children would grow up in a drastically different world than their parents had. Emma and Addy had once had those same stars in their eyes. It would differ for Vicki and her siblings. Hollywood was home. They would see Kansas as the gateway to Oz just as the movie portrayed.
“It’s weird,” Addison said.
“What’s that?”
Addison sipped her coffee and considered her explanation. “You know, all of us—you, me, Tam, Em—we all had starry-eyed dreams about this place.”
Christie smiled. “I suppose we did.”
“This place is home for Vicki and Hannah. It’s strange if I think about it. I never did until this week. I just hope they continue to focus on the stars in the sky they see at Em’s folks’ house, and not the ones that burn out so quickly here.”
“Worried the girls will follow in Mom’s footsteps?”
Addison’s smile faded slightly. She hadn’t given much th
ought to what career trajectory her children would take. They were small. She and Emma shared the opinion that their children should be free to pursue whatever interest held their hearts. Addison had only recently entertained the notion that one of their children might one day decide to traverse the murky waters of acting. Vicki had a great deal of Emma in her. Addison hoped that one of those attributes would be the firm footing that Emma had been able to maintain. Emma was grounded. Fame had never lifted Emma’s head into the clouds. That was something that Addison admired in her wife. In fact, it was a part of her personality that nearly everyone appreciated about Emma Bronson Blake.
“I just hope they keep their feet on the ground no matter what they do,” Addison said.
“I wouldn’t worry too much about that,” Christie commented.
Addison sighed. “Right now it’s easy,” she said.
“I’m sorry, Addy. I didn’t mean to bring up a stressful…”
“You didn’t,” Addison assured her friend. “I only started thinking about it last night. I’m not even sure why. Maybe it was Dirk talking about his kids.”
Dirk Jackson had been cast in the role of Brendan O’Malley, the older brother of Dominick O’Malley who had been Genevieve’s faux husband in Off Screen. Emma had known the actor for many years and had coaxed him to sign on to the project. He had played the role of her father during the first season of Emma’s first hit show, Found. Dirk had taken Emma under his wing, and Emma both respected and trusted the man. He was an actor’s actor. He had never pursued nor been interested in stardom. People usually recognized his face before they recognized his name. Emma had spent time with both of Dirk’s children. They had been in grade school when she had met them. His oldest daughter, Caroline had recently announced her desire to pursue acting. The aspiring actress had become a lively topic of conversation the previous evening during a forced break in shooting. It had left Addy’s head spinning.
“Yeah, he isn’t too thrilled about that; is he?” Christie surmised.
“Just worried, I think,” Addison said. “I think that’s why he asked if Emma would have lunch with her.”
“Well, if she needs a mentor, Emma is perfect.”
Addison smiled. “Yeah, she is.”
“You think Emma would be upset if one of the girls wanted to do the same thing?” Christie wondered.
“No. Concerned. She’d be concerned.”
Script Doctor (Off Screen Book 8) Page 6