by Teresa Hill
“Hey wait, what about handsome guitar boy, are we going to go see him?”
My thoughts float back to seeing Jon standing in front of me, his handsome face, kissable lips, hair I want to run my hand through and a voice, oh my, a voice that melts my insides. I had to stop myself from singing with him and having that connection.
“I don’t know Brent…” Letting my voice trail off in uncertainty.
“Reece, we should go. I think getting out and meeting new people will help with you discovering the new Reece.”
WHOA, new Reece? Who the fuck said I was trying to change myself?
“What do you mean “new Reece” Brent?”
“Well I just figured with the working out and trying to make friends and all you were trying to reinvent yourself or something.”
I hadn’t really thought about why I stuck with the working out, but thinking back I think it was a culmination of wanting to prove something to myself, interest in the MMA program and of course showing Sterling that I don’t need him. Whatever the reason for my working out, it has nothing to do with changing myself.
“I am not trying to change myself, I could give a fuck what anyone thinks about me. My working out was a fluke and now I am doing it because I like it. As for making “friends”, fuck friends I don’t need them and the drama they bring.” I spout out quickly until I see the look on Brent’s face.
“I didn’t mean that toward you Brent, I just meant in general.” I try to take my foot out of my mouth.
“It’s all good not offended, I didn’t mean to make an assumption either. But seriously you need to go listen to this guy play, even if it is just for a few minutes.”
“Make you a deal, you kick my ass all over this gym floor for the next, oh 39 minutes, and take your smelly ass home shower and get yourself all looking hot to make me look hot, then we can swing by Solo’s for a FEW minutes and then head to Hunger.”
Brent doesn’t even bother to answer as he reaches down by his side and picks up 2 fifteen pound dumbbells and walks toward an open bench. “You coming Miller?” He calls over his shoulder and I accept that as his agreement to go tonight.
Chapter 13
Walking through the front door the low light atmosphere takes a minute for my eyes to adjust to. The bar is starting to fill up which is shocking considering it is only a little after 7:00 pm.
Brent walks close behind me as I steer through the crowded tables that are mashed together to try and get the most out of the small bar space. I notice a small table top toward the front, off to the side of the stage and make my way to it.
Leaning down to talk in my ear as I sit down at the two top “What do you want to drink? You look nervous, should we start with shots?” He says with a chuckle.
“What are you trying to get me drunk on our non-date so that you don’t take advantage of me?” I sneer back knowing he understands my humor.
“Miller, between the guitar dude and Zane, there is ZERO chance for me, plus Paul would get jealous, he always says you’re a sexy bitch he thinks I would turn for.” He playfully says with a bright gleaming smile.
His statement makes me laugh a little too loud and I notice a few heads turning to look at me so I quiet myself down and let him know I’ll start with a vodka water with lime.
Acknowledging my request he makes his way toward the bar as I sit back a bit and let my people watching skills kick in. Looking around I notice the crowd is a bit eclectic ranging from a college crowd to middle aged; Bikers to business suits; girl next door to high dollar ho’s. Ok, maybe not really ho’s but well they are dressed like it. Looking around I don’t see Jon anywhere which actually lets me breathe a little.
Brent returns with our drinks setting them down on the table, and I notice the two shots he bought anyway. Yeah, won’t admit that I really need the shot.
“For my trainer, you sure are making it difficult to be good.” Smiling I nudge his elbow with mine.
“Trainer or not, there are some times in life that just require a little bit more of liquid courage than others.” Ooohhh how right he is.
Going straight for the shots we both lift our glasses to make a toast but Brent beats me to it.
“Here’s to you Miller, may your evening be filled with laughter, smiles and a whole lotta lovin.” He finishes with his sinister smile which makes me blush.
I don’t even bother to ask what the shot is as I tilt my head back and let it slide down my throat. Doesn’t take me long to figure out it was whiskey as the liquid leaves behind a burn and brings a warming settlement to my belly. Holy shit that burns!
I guess the look on my face is funny enough that Brent nearly falls off his chair laughing. Trying to shake the effects of the shot and rid myself of the sour puss face I am sporting, I reach for my vodka water right as a glass of ice water is set in front of me. Looking up, his baby blues are smiling down at me and a piece of me melt as I notice the smile on his face. His hair messy but neat, allowing the little bit of gray to show through if you look really close, and his face showing a bit of stubble that he wears in the sexiest way. Dressed in a navy and white striped polo and dark blue cargo shorts, he looks comfortable yet still sets my toes on fire. Trying to put out the burning in my belly, and my toes, I reach for the ice water and take a drink.
“Figured pure water would help more than whatever is in that glass,” he says as he shifts into sight.
Finishing my drink, trying so hard not to let it dribble out of my mouth like an idiot since my mouth keeps wanting to go agape, I nod my head in agreement. “Yes, thank you, I have a feeling the vodka added in would have done more damage than good.” I smile back.
“I must say Reece, I am glad you came, didn’t know if you would show up or not.” He says reaching around behind him and grabbing a chair, he sits and reclines back a little.
“Well, to be honest, you can thank Brent for that.” I motion my hand over to Brent with a nod at Jon.
Looking at me with his penetrating blues, he half rolls his eyes and head over in Brent’s direction. “Well knowing that, I think I owe Brent another shot and a thank you.” Reaching his hand out toward him Brent gladly reaches out and shakes his hand.
“Jon Ivers.” Shaking hands. “Brent Towers.” They introduce.
“So I owe it to you for bringing her out, huh.” Brent asked quizzically.
“Let’s just say it wasn’t too hard to convince her.” Brent smiles looking at me which I will note I am currently as red as a fire hydrant at this point.
My sheepish smile and raised eyebrows are directed at Jon when he turns to look my way. He smiles as he gazes at me for a minute. “I’m glad.”
The table gets a little quiet as we both just look at each other. He seems to be very comfortable with the silence and surprisingly I am too. Brent on the other hand is clearly not.
“So Jon, how long you been playing?” Brent asks, breaking into the silence.
Not looking away from me he answers, “For as long as my hands could reach around the neck of the guitar. I’ve been singing since I learned I had good pitch which according to my mom was when I was about six. Now if you want to know how long I’ve actually been good at it that might get a different response.”
Looking at him I couldn’t help but ask, “Ok then, how long have you been good at it?”
Without skipping a beat. “Since about now when you just said I was.” Aaahhh he’s a smart ass I like.
“Ha Ha. Seriously.”
“Good is an opinion, its relative, so, I guess I’ve been “good” since someone thought I was.” He tilts his head and flashes that grin again.
“Aaahhheemmm.” Brent chimes in disrupting our gazing time. “Word is, Miller here has a voice and can play too.”
Whipping my head toward him, my smile turns to disbelief. How did he know I played, let alone sang? He’s never heard me. I can’t believe he just told Jon that. I narrow my focus on him if to convey to him to shut the fuck up, but apparently he doesn�
��t understand my look. Jon looks away from me now and sits a little surprised at Brent’s announcement.
Brent continues, “Yeah it’s not just the word, I have heard her myself, but haven’t heard her play, yet.” What does he mean he has heard me?
“Oh don’t look at me like that Miller, you don’t realize that you walk around singing half the time at the gym, especially when you are doing Cardio. You zone off into your own little world and people sit back and listen to you sing. No one tells you to shut up because, well, we all like to hear it. Never seen someone who could sing on key, in pitch and with earphones in. So yeah, I know you can sing girl. The guitar part, well, I heard that from someone else who will remain nameless.”
I feel the heat as it rises in my cheeks from embarrassment, sure I know I hum along to stuff and occasionally might sing a few words but never knew it was to the point people were listening to me. Hands clenched together, I see the effects of the white knuckles while they rest on the table and my mind starts to overthink.
Under the table his warm hand comes to rest on my knee in a reassuring way. The minute his hand touches my skin I look at his blue eyes and my grip loosens and the blood starts to flow through my hands again. Gently rubbing my bare knee with the pads of his fingers I can feel the goose bumps and wonder if he can. The small smile he gives is my answer. Brent seems to be oblivious to the gesture under the table as he continues on and starts to ask Jon different things about his singing and Jon replies.
I have drifted off into my own world as I look past Jon and see the stage lights start to come on and the employees setting up for the night of music. The creeks in the stage as they walk around make me smile to myself remembering a time when being on stage made me happy. Red, blue, green lights flicker on and off as the lighting is tested. A single black wooden stool is set out behind the microphone stand. A younger boy brings out a guitar stand and places the guitar Jon had been playing today in it. Twisting the microphone in the middle he adjusts the height down a little. I can almost feel the pull of the stage, to urge to get, walk out sit down and just sing. I briefly close my eyes thinking about it as the smooth rhythm which Jon is rubbing my knee becomes soothing and hypnotic to a point I almost lose myself in it.
“So Reece, what would it take to get you to step on stage and sing, with me?” His hand not stopping its repetitive tranquilizing motion.
I couldn’t decide if laughing in his face would come off the wrong way or the exact way I intended it. So I just went with it. “HA! So not going to happen. I don’t sing in public anymore” I finalize my statement while picking up my vodka water to sip.
“Ahhh but I beg to differ Miller,” Brent chimes in. Who fucking invited him again? Oh shit yeah it was me.
“Don’t Brent, my singing in the gym is not the same, especially since I didn’t know anyone was listening.”
I notice Jon’s hand stopped its moving pattern on my knee and had slid just a little ways up the thigh when he leaned in closer to the table and me. I was really liking the feeling of his warm hand on my bare thigh and kind of wanting him to lean in further so I could smell him. What is wrong with me?
Leaning in further he rests his available elbow on the table top and tilts his head toward my ear to whisper, “You may not sing with me right now, but I know you will soon.” He hesitates and leans back with a smile on his face. Was that a sexual innuendo? If not, I sure do wish to God it was!
Just then the backlight of the stage goes out and the spotlight shines on the stool and a microphone that was set up a little bit ago. Jon knows this as his cue and stands from the table breaking the physical connection I had with him. My skin runs cold quickly without his warm touch. I look up and see his blues gazing down and that sweet grin and just nod.
“Well you guys, I know you won’t be staying the whole time but would love for you to stay for a couple songs at least.” He pauses looking for approval from us. “Of course man we have time to stay,” Brent spouts off and I quickly kick him under the table which was obvious and Jon just chuckles. “Good I’m glad,” he says then turns and walks the few feet to the stage.
“Are you stupid or something? Why would you say we would stay? You know I have this party to go to,” I bite out in a short, hushed, irritated voice.
“Miller, do I look stupid? That boy has a crush and girl, you have one right back. Just because I didn’t make a big ordeal about him having his hand all on your leg, does NOT mean I didn’t take note. You ask me, that boy defiantly wants you to sing something with him, if you know what I mean,” he says winking.
Leaning in closer to Brent so my words don’t travel, “Oh for the love of Mary would you knock that shit out Brent? I don’t have a crush. Yes the guy is very yummy, did I just call him yummy? I mean good looking, and yes his voice is sexy, but I don’t have a crush. LIAR. I just know when to admire a good sound. So if you don’t mind, keep your comments to yourself otherwise I won’t let you take me out again,” I say lightening the mood a bit and playfully hitting him on his arm.
The sound of the cracking stage mixes with the feedback of the microphone as Jon walks across and takes his seat on the stool set out. I watch as he lifts his guitar off the stand and rests it on his right leg and secures his shoulder strap around himself. He places his pick in between his lips as he adjusts the microphone stand and positions it where he wants it. Of course I seem to have my focus on the bright blue pick that gets to touch his soft full pouty lips, watching it move slightly up and down.
Removing the pick he glances my direction and winks. “Hello everyone, it’s great to be back at Solo’s tonight. I appreciate all of you that have come out to listen to me, and even those that didn’t but are here listening anyway,” he says while lightly checking the tuning of the guitar. The crowd offers a nice laugh for his humor and he flashes a big smile as a thank you.
Continuing his tuning. “You know, my favorite thing about music is the way it can express what we often are too afraid to say. Artist use lyrics to tell their story and listeners use the lyrics to relate their life to the song. Every song sung takes on a different meaning for every person that listens to it. I think for this reason is why I love singing. I like to bring a story, and idea, a thought to people and let them use it for what they need. Could be motivation, inspiration, healing, confirmation or whatever. Music says what you can’t.” His words drift off leaving an understanding with me that I couldn’t help but deny.
He begins to pick on his guitar with a few cords and I hear the tune immediately and recognize it. My heart stops, literally stops. Then the lyrics start and I reach for Brent’s arm which startles him. The slow mellow tone of his voice rides through the first verse and I am deadlocked on his face. His eyes are closed as he sings softly into the microphone.
Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I’m sure you’ve heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don’t believe that anyone feels
The way I do about you now
And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don’t know how
I feel lost in the words, lost in his voice. The slow rhythmic strumming and picking plays into the mellowness of the song and the emotion coming from him.
I said maybe
You’re gonna be the one that saves me
You’re gonna be the one that saves me
And after all you’re my wonder wall
As he continues and finishes out the song I realize the words he said before he started singing were true. I found myself relating to the lyrics in a way that was needed for me. Remembering that someone saved me, not knowing who he was, not knowing where he was, and him not knowing the feelings I have for him not just for what he did for me, but because I have spent six years imagining who
he was, what he was like and who he would be to me. No one could feel the same way I do about him, even without knowing him.
Brent reaches over and lightly wraps his hand around mine that is clutching his arm. “Are you okay Reece?” With concern in his voice.
Shaking my head up and down. “Yeah, yeah I’m good.” Offering a smile and letting go of his arm to relax back into my seat.
“He’s really good Miller, I get the attraction.” Brent offers up as conversation. “I’ve never heard that version of Wonderwall before, but I have to say I like it more than the original.”
I turn and look at him with a bit of disbelief. “You know that song?” I ask questioning his statement.
“Of course I do, I don’t live under a rock, and you will be happy to know I am quite the music fan.”
Brent never ceases to amaze me, I think that’s why I like him. He’s easy to be around, gets me and my attitude and still comes back. He’s quiet but not, hot but gay, sincere with a bit of jackass and knows how to be a smart ass right back to me.
Looking down at my watch I see the time is a little after 8:00 pm and I am relieved I don’t need to get up right now and leave. I want to hear more from Jon.
“I want to say a special hello to a couple friends in the audience tonight…” He starts and my blood drains from my face. No, he isn’t about to call me out in front of all these people. Please, please, please don’t do it. He glances my way and smiles. UGH that damn smile!
“My new friend Brent Towers and…” He pauses.
Here it comes, please don’t do it……
“My old high school track coach, Coach Johnson.” He looks at me and winks.
Oh thank god, wait, why would he say hi to Brent and not to…
“Oh yeah and this sweet girl Reece over here too, I hear she has a beautiful voice but she won’t let us hear it tonight.”