by Cate Beauman
Chase had things to do—too many to count—but he stood where he was, sipping his brew as he continued to watch Julie, more fascinated than he cared to admit. Jules was as energetic at twenty-eight as she had been at eighteen and appeared to be just as kind. He paused with his cup halfway to his lips when a man in a gray hat ran down the snowy path, waving. The little skater who’d wiped out twice waved back as Julie did. The guy stopped, hefting up the peanut of a child, and kissed her forehead as he spoke to Julie. He hugged Julie next, and the coffee turned bitter on Chase’s tongue when Jules returned his embrace, laughing and kissing his cheek.
Bryce Marshfield.
Chase blinked with a jolt, realizing that the child Julie was kissing on the tip of her nose had to be their daughter. Julie and Bryce had a little girl. Clenching his jaw with the quick jab of pain, he turned away, reminding himself that he didn’t care. Jules made her choice a long time ago.
He set his mug in the sink and yanked up his list. He had work to do and a life to get back to in LA. Each room needed a thorough inspection, and he needed a solid plan of attack if he wanted to get the hell out of Bakersfield.
~~~~
Julie set a container of bold orange mums by Nana and Pop’s shared plot, as she’d done for her mother’s and Gram and Gramps Keller’s too. She brushed at the drifts of snow covering their names on the headstone and picked up the dead blooms she left the last time she’d come for a visit. Perhaps leaving flowers that would surely die before the day was over was foolish, but she did so every month, no matter if the temperatures were blistering hot or icy cold, finding the ritual soothing.
Her entire family rested here—those who were blood and those who were family by the bonds of love and good friendship. Nana had been the last of her family to pass on, and now she was alone. She still had her friends and work that kept her busy, but she yearned for the days when everyone gathered around the Thanksgiving table and Christmas tree. Now she went to other people’s homes and joined in their traditions, appreciating their invites and thoughtfulness to include her in the warmth and comfort of their families, even if it was for just a little while.
Sighing, she touched the cold marble. “I miss you so much. It’s not the same without you here. Especially this time of year.” She kissed her fingers and pressed them to Chase’s grandparents’ names. “I’ll see you next month.” She turned and stopped, spotting Chase walking her way bundled up in his bulky jacket and hat with a bouquet of white roses in his hand. Automatically, her heart beat faster and her stomach fluttered with a confusing mixture of longing and nerves as he moved closer.
This morning, she’d spotted him while she gave lessons to her advanced skaters, stealing glances as he climbed the ladder and risked life and limb on Nana’s roof. Their gazes had locked once, his chilly gray eyes boring into hers before he turned away and went about his business. Twice he’d dismissed her with a curt nod, his message loud and clear—he wanted her to leave him alone.
Standing her ground, she pushed her gloved hands in her jacket pockets, bunching her fists into nervous balls.
He stopped, leaving an arm’s span of space between them, and she looked her fill in the daylight as his breath steamed out in white puffs. He was even more gorgeous in the bright sunshine, the sexy five o’clock shadow of his beard adding to the devastating effects of his mouthwatering looks. She cleared her throat, automatically lifting her chin. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
Now what? There were so many things she wanted to ask, so many things she needed to say. She licked her lips. “How are you?”
“Good.”
She nodded. “Good. I brought by some flowers.”
“I see that.”
She took her hands from her pockets and shoved them back in as agonizing seconds ticked by in silence. “The service was nice,” she blurted out. “Pretty much everyone from the neighborhood was there.” But you weren’t. “It was lovely.” She swiped at her hair.
“I was in Dubai. I heard about it on Thursday.”
“Oh.” Her heart ached for him, knowing how much he loved his grandmother. “I’m sorry.”
“Thanks.”
God, this was painful. She cleared her throat for the second time. “I should probably—”
“I see that you helped her out a lot. My family and I really appreciate it.”
He and his family appreciated it? His formality struck a nerve. Nana had always been a big part of her life, but after Gram Keller died eight years ago, she’d been vital to Julie. “She was my Nana too. She was your blood but she was mine too,” she said quieter now as they stared at each other.
He nodded.
“I—I saw you on the roof.”
“I’ve got a lot of work to do. I’m putting the place on the market.”
She swallowed another punch of grief. “When?”
“A couple of weeks hopefully.”
“A couple of weeks?”
“The place is a wreck.”
What about the memories and the love—the endless summers and sweet Christmases? The cold man standing in front of her didn’t seem to remember any of it. He’d left for the FBI and forgotten about Bakersfield and everyone in it.
“Her house was lived in.” She pressed her lips together, expelling a long breath through her nose when he didn’t seem to have anything more to say. “I should go. I have a class.” She walked away, more empty now than she had been before she’d come here. The peace she always left with after one of her visits was absent after her painful encounter with Chase.
Chapter Four
Chase pushed his cart through the hardware store, moving down the aisles, grabbing what he needed. He tossed sponges among the mounting pile of items in his carriage as he replayed his awkward conversation with Jules half an hour ago. They’d passed a few uncomfortable moments with small talk, barely saying anything at all, but he’d recognized the grief in her eyes as they spoke of Nana, then her unmistakable disapproval when he told her Nana’s house was going on the market. She’d walked off easily enough after their brief exchange. Clearly neither of them had a whole lot to talk about anymore, which worked just fine for him… So why couldn’t he shake off this nagging sense of guilt weighing so heavily on his conscience?
Had she really expected him to keep Nana’s place? What was he supposed to do with it? He didn’t have time to play landlord, and there was no way he was moving here. His home and his career were in Los Angeles. He didn’t want any part of small-town living. Bakersfield had its charms. A large majority of his childhood was wrapped up in this place, but he hadn’t been a kid for a long time.
He picked up a bottle of wallpaper stripper, the last of the supplies on today’s list, and started toward the long line at the counter.
“I can help you on register three,” Bryce Marshfield said, hustling out of the back office of his family-run business.
“Thanks.” Chase reached in the cart, putting his stuff on the conveyer belt as Bryce rang up his purchase.
“We’ve been busy today—shovels and ice melt. Got a front coming in early next week. They’re predicting half a foot. I—” Bryce’s blue eyes met Chase’s for the third time, clearly trying to place him. “Jesus. Chase?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow. I didn’t recognize you at first. It’s been a long time.” He held out his hand.
Chase returned his greeting, studying Bryce’s clean-cut good looks. “It’s been awhile since I’ve been up this way.”
“Yeah, it has. Nice to see you again. I was sorry to hear about your grandmother. I think Julie’s been a little lost without her. Nana was such a big part of her life.”
Chase’s gaze wandered to Bryce’s left hand and the simple gold band on his ring finger. The small sound he made in his throat was the only response he could muster as he looked toward the office, watching the little girl from Julie’s skating lesson color at Bryce’s desk. She had her back turned, but Chase was positive it was the same child. Her
hair was lighter than Julie’s, but darker than Bryce’s blond. She was petite like her mother and most likely just as pretty.
“That’ll be two fifty-three eighty-nine.”
Chase pulled out his card and looked toward the office again.
“Go ahead and sign.”
He stared at the little girl a moment longer as she picked up another crayon. Years ago, he’d thought he and Julie would have children, but that’s not how things worked out. He scribbled his signature on the line.
“Good to see you back, Chase.”
“Thanks.” He glanced at Bryce’s ring again before he turned and pushed the cart outside. He was two steps from his truck when he heard a familiar voice.
“Chase Rider!”
He looked over his shoulder and smiled, spotting Billy Platt running his way. Billy had put on a good twenty pounds and lost most of his hair, but his eyes danced with fun as they always had.
“I heard you were here.” Billy gave him a rough hug with a slap on the back. “Shit, man, you look better than you did years ago. How the hell’d you manage that?”
“Luck.”
“Special Agent Rider back in Bakersfield.” Billy nodded his approval.
Chase didn’t bother to correct his old friend. He didn’t want to answer questions about his abrupt career change. “For a couple weeks anyway.”
“Sorry to hear about your grandmother. She was a great lady—made the best damn chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever tasted.”
“They were certainly a treat.”
“The wife and I are doing a bonfire tonight. You should come out.”
“I don’t know. I’m putting the house on the market. I’ve got a hell of a lot to do and only a couple weeks to do it.” He gestured to the bags he shoved in the back of the truck.
“So work hard, then come hang out for a few hours. I’ll stop by sometime next week and see what I can do to give you a hand.”
He and Billy had always had a good time on the ball field. “Okay. Where are you living now?”
“We’re in one of the new developments just north of town, but my parents are throwing the bonfire—everyone’s welcome. You still remember how to get there?”
“Yeah. Definitely. I’ll probably see you around eight.”
“Perfect. Looking forward to catching up.” Billy’s cell phone rang, and he winced. “I bet that’s the wife. I better get my ass to the store or I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“See you later.” Chase loaded the rest of his supplies in back and got in, starting toward the house. He passed Ms. Jamison wiping the windows in her store and Mr. Harrison adjusting the signage in the drugstore window, deciding that a couple of hours out at Billy’s couldn’t hurt. The distraction would be good. Maybe he would be able to stop thinking about Julie and Bryce being parents. He clenched his jaw as he thought back to the cozy family moment by the ice. Why was that so hard to believe? Jules and Bryce had been engaged when he left. She and Bryce had gotten hitched and had a kid—pretty normal married life stuff. Maybe it was because he was here, actually witnessing it for himself that made it so damn hard to swallow. He’d thought of Julie over the years, no matter how hard he tried not to. He’d gone to college and she’d done the marriage thing. That’s where their story ended. As soon as he left, he would be able put it all behind him again.
He thought of Julie kissing her husband and jammed his hand through his hair, barely able to stand it. “I’ve gotta get out of here,” he muttered as he turned down Old Hickory Lane. Slowing, he drove by Julie’s place—OM Studio—and looked through the huge picture windows at the pale green space with bamboo in pots and candles lit on pretty tables along the back wall. Julie wore yoga pants and a clinging top as she bent down in some pose. The dozen or so people followed her lead.
Skating and yoga. She’d always been active, but the yoga stuff was new. A lot had changed in ten years.
~~~~
Chase got out of his truck and walked toward the ten-foot flames in the Platt’s backyard. He zipped his jacket to his neck, trying to figure out what the hell he was doing. He told Billy he would stop by, but after a full day, he’d seriously contemplated staying home. The afternoon had been productive. He worked with a vengeance, getting the living room and kitchen packed and the damn wallpaper peeled off the walls in both rooms. With the walls treated and wiped down and the new windows and door coming Monday, he was ahead of schedule. The countertops were getting ripped out tomorrow along with the old appliances and floor, if he had enough time. By Tuesday he would have the cupboards sanded and stained and everything else replaced in the small space, if he stayed on pace.
He breathed in the slightly warmer air—a balmy 30—and started toward the groups of people standing around in the dark. This was good for him, getting out. He worked too much. He spent the last decade addicted to his job. It had been easy to burn up days in the world of counterintelligence. The Middle East had kept him busy, not to mention the field offices of New York and DC. Then he gave it up, and Ethan had filled up his schedule just fine.
Several people waved to him, calling out his name.
“Chase,” Sandy Bernard said, pulling him into a hug. “It’s been ages.”
He eased back, looking at the pretty pregnant woman who’d had a crush on him long ago. “Hey, Sandy.”
“I’m sorry about your Nana. We sure do miss her at the library.”
“Thanks.”
“Chase,” Sandy continued, pulling a man closer to her side. “This is my husband, Gregory.”
He shook Gregory’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Gregory, Chase spent his summers here with his grandparents. Now he works for the FBI.”
“Sounds exciting,” Gregory said, pushing his glasses farther up on his nose.
“It can be,” Chase deflected, doing a double take when he caught sight of a mauve hat. He spotted Julie holding her daughter on her lap, sitting next to Bryce and some blond.
“Well, it was nice to see you again,” Sandy said, giving Chase another hug.
“You too.” Once Sandy and her husband walked off, Chase looked Julie’s way. Their eyes met across the flames. Seconds passed before Jules said something, stood in her snug jeans and stylish black pea coat, and made her way over to the huge table jammed full with refreshments. Moments later, she walked over to him.
“Hot cocoa—double marshmallows—just the way you like.”
He hesitated and took the Styrofoam cup. “Thanks.”
“I didn’t know you were going to be here.”
Likewise. If he’d had any idea he was going to bump into Julie and her happy little family, he would’ve stayed far, far away. “I saw Billy outside the hardware store. He said I should stop over.”
“You’ve been busy.”
He sipped the sweet drink, realizing he hadn’t had hot chocolate since the last time Julie’d handed him a cup. “Yeah. There’s a lot to do.”
They held each other’s gazes as the awkward silence stretched out, much like it had only hours before. Chase drank more, waiting for her to walk off again. When she didn’t, he cleared his throat. “I, uh, I think I found your baton in the shed.”
She frowned. “My baton?” Then her eyes lit up. “The Smurfette one?”
“I’m pretty sure. It has those blue wispy things coming out of the ends.”
“We looked everywhere for that thing.”
“It was tucked all the way back in the corner by the old fridge.”
“Huh.” She narrowed her eyes as she settled her hand on her hip. “You know, I think Gram might’ve had Nana hide it.”
He raised his brow. “You did break Gram’s favorite vase with it.”
“You were supposed to catch it.”
“Yelling ‘catch’ when the thing was already a foot behind my head wasn’t destined to end well.”
She laughed, that big, bold laugh he hadn’t heard in so long. “I guess not.”
He smiled. “Gram was
pretty mad.”
She chuckled. “She really was, but you didn’t let me take the blame alone.”
And as a result, they’d both been punished and sent to their rooms. He still remembered that long-ago day, the way Julie had stared at him through her window, her eyes red-rimmed from crying. Even at six, he’d hated it when she cried, which she rarely ever did. Wanting to cheer her up, he’d twisted the lock on the window and opened it. Julie had done the same, and they’d played together for hours, talking through their screens—a tradition they’d continued for twelve years. “No, I guess I didn’t.”
“Did I ever thank you for that?”
“I’m sure you did.”
She nodded. “Good.”
The easy moment seemed to vanish as he studied the way the dancing flames accentuated the pretty pink glow the cold air brought to her cheeks. Seconds ticked by as they both looked at the ground, then made eye contact again.
“I should probably—”
Julie’s little girl ran over and wrapped her arms around her leg.
“Well, who do we have here?” She grinned, picking her up.
Chase studied mother and daughter closely, trying to see the resemblance.
“This is Meadow.”
“Hey,” Chase said, scrutinizing the child.
Meadow rested her head shyly on Julie’s shoulder.
“Meadow, can you say hi?”
“Hi.”
“I saw you skating today,” he tried, even though all he wanted to do was walk away.
“Meadow just started in my beginners’ class.”
“I’m five,” Meadow piped up.
“You’re my big kindergarten girl, huh?” She gave Meadow a gentle bump up and down, and Meadow nodded with pride.
“Did you have your hot cocoa yet?”
Meadow shook her head.
“I think we should have some.” Julie grinned, rubbing noses with the child.
Meadow giggled. “Me too.”
“With extra marshmallows and whipped cream,” she continued with her forehead pressed to the little girl’s.
Meadow laughed louder.
“Ask your mom and dad and I’ll help you make some.”