To tell you the truth, she did not shut the door properly. For reason had taken hold of her and reminded her that it might be wise, if not cautionary, to leave the door on the latch, just in case there was some unforeseeable reason to return. This way she could sneak back into the castle with no problem. So she left it just a bit open with the bolt resting on the latch. “Anybody with an atom of sense would probably do the same thing,” she told herself.
Polly groaned inwardly as she instantly felt the cold, bitter wind biting into her thin body, causing her to shudder. She hugged Langdon tighter to her chest in an effort to keep warm as she groped her way in the dark across the quadrangle towards the big, black gates. Her heart was pounding so loudly in her ears that she became convinced that Pitstop would be woken from his slumber and come after her for his dinner! As the wind continued to whip up all around her, she soon began to have a change of mind. Oh, how much she needed a daisy to help in the decision-making process and help conquer her double-minded thoughts. So, after much deliberation, she decided in her wisdom that she had not chosen the best of nights to leave the orphanage. Perhaps it would be better for her to go back inside and give more thought and attention to the final preparations before leaving the castle. In fact, what on earth had possessed her to choose this most unsuitable night to go on such a quest in the first place?
With her mind now settled, she turned on her heels, and with feelings of great relief, walked back across the quadrangle heading towards the front door. As she reached for the door handle, which was only inches from her grasp, a sudden strong gust of wind came from nowhere. Before she could reach out her hand to push open the door, it slammed shut. And with it went her one and only opportunity to creep back upstairs and get back into her bed without anyone knowing she had ever been missing.
“Oh, no!” gasped Polly as she frantically pushed against the door in a vain attempt to open it. It was to no avail, for, try as she may, there was no way this heavy, baronial door was going to allow her to pass through it. Her heart sank as she realized that she was well-and-truly stuck outside in the cold and dark. With the front door now firmly shut, Polly knew that she had only one of two choices. The first was to ring the bell and face the might and fury of Uncle Boritz and Aunt Mildred. The second was to turn around and head for the open road and Hodgekiss’s house in Piadora. She knew deep inside that there was only one choice she could possibly make, and that was to move forward and stick to her original decision to leave.
She had not gone very far when the heavens burst open, releasing large droplets of rain that made loud splitter splatter noises as they made contact with her coat. “Oh, that’s just what I need now,” she moaned out loud. “First I have the wind to endure, and now I have the rain as well. Some adventure this is turning out to be, and I’ve only just started!”
She hugged Langdon more tightly, feeling hopelessly insecure about what she was doing. It was not too long before she began to feel quite panicky. It was pitch black outside in the cold and dark, and she had quite forgotten to pack her torch or take a quick look at her map to check which way she was meant to be going. She pulled out the letter from her pocket and unfolded the map, but it was hopeless, she couldn’t see a thing, and the map was very quickly going limp and soggy due to the rain. Polly looked up to the sky in search of the moon, hoping it might help her to see the map more clearly. However, even the moon was obscured by the many bad-tempered clouds that were patrolling the sky. Already she felt as though the odds were heavily stacked against her, and she felt a trifle angry with herself for not having studied the map while she was still indoors in the warm. What a prize idiot she was already turning out to be, and she hadn’t even left the grounds of the castle!
Chapter 17
CLOSE EVERY DOOR TO ME
POLLY WALKED RESIGNEDLY out of the big, black gates and slowly headed down the road. She had no idea where she was going, and if she did not know where she was meant to be going, the chances were very high indeed that she’d end up somewhere else. Sooner or later she would discover that she was going in completely the wrong direction. As she had no idea what to do next, she sat down on the curb in the rain and shot up a quick prayer.
Dear God, I don’t know if You remember me, but my name is Polly Brown. If ever there was a time when I needed Your help, that time has got to be now. I have to admit that I have never felt so afraid, alone, and stupid to think that I had the courage or ability to leave all I have ever known and go on a trip to a place I have never seen and only heard of. I know You have every reason to ignore me, especially after the way I spoke to You at the graveyard, but I can only say I am very sorry for my outburst. Please feel free to discuss this with me, but not at the moment, as I’m feeling rather delicate and sensitive—well, touchy to be precise. I hope you can forgive me, as well as understand that I cannot make this journey on my own. So please, please comfort me when I’m feeling scared and watch over me from above, I beg you.
Polly started to sob as despair filled her heart. The wind gathered momentum as it joined forces to mercilessly mock her for choosing to leave on such a night as this. Suddenly she thought she heard a noise. Her heart almost leapt into her mouth, and she began trembling from head to toe. She strained her ears to see if her imagination was beginning to run riot, or had she really heard something? As she craned her neck in the direction she believed the strange noise was coming from, she felt certain she could hear someone singing, albeit very quietly. She looked around, but all she could see was thick, foggy darkness. Then she thought she could see the outline of a figure. Her heart started pounding faster. She jumped up from the curb and gingerly shouted out into the darkness, her voice betraying great fear. “Who’s there?” No one answered. Trembling and now very afraid, she walked a more few paces towards the shadowy figure, stretching out an arm towards what she perceived was the outline of a ghost. Nothing! No, she was truly alone. The strange sound was barely audible as she strained her ears further in an attempt to recognize who or what it might be. Perhaps it was just the wind making these unusual but gentle noises. She listened harder still. Yes, she could definitely hear the small, faint voice of someone singing.
Come my Princess, come with me
I’m calling you this day
To live carefree, is to trust in me
There is no other way.
To ignore this call, would be a shame
For I’ve seen the tears you’ve cried
A crown for your head, is why I bled
I cannot be denied.
Polly sat back down on the curb of the pavement and broke into a smile as she thought that things couldn’t get much worse, for now on top of everything else she was hallucinating! She decided this must be the result of extreme cold and hunger, coupled with tiredness. She had read that mountaineers experienced this sort of thing when nearing the summit of a mountain, and apparently this was due to the air becoming thinner and the brain becoming starved of oxygen. When this happened they started to see and imagine all sorts of things—at least that’s what the book had said. She took consolation from knowing that at the very least it was a recognized medical condition and not just complete insanity taking hold of her.
Suddenly she heard footsteps approaching from the distance. They were getting nearer and nearer, and their pace was getting faster and faster. Who on earth could it be coming her way at this late hour of the night? Her heart raced as the footsteps came closer, not stopping until they were right up beside her. Polly instantly froze with fear and plunged her head into her lap, too terrified to look up and face whatever, or whoever, it was now standing right beside her. She heard the sound of heavy breathing and her heart began skipping beats as blood-curdling fear took its loathsome grip on her.
“Hello, Polly,” whispered a gentle voice as a hand came to rest gently on her shoulder. Polly breathed a deep sigh of relief, and all fear vanished in an instant.
“Ralph, thank goodness it’s only you,” said Polly nervously. “Yo
u really had me scared for a moment. What on earth are you doing out here in the cold in the middle of the night?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” replied Ralph.
“It’s a long story, Ralph,” said Polly wearily. “To tell you the truth, I think I’ve made another of my rather stupid mistakes. Not only am I cold, tired, and hungry, but if I do head back to the orphanage I will be in so much trouble that I can hardly face it.” Polly buried her face in her hands. “Oh, Ralph, I have no idea what to do next—really I haven’t.”
Ralph stepped down from the curb before settling down on the pavement next to her. He placed an arm around her shoulder in an effort to comfort her.
“Oh, Polly,” he said in a slightly mischievous tone of voice as he shook his head from side to side. “You really have got yourself into quite a pickle this time!”
“Yes, I have,” Polly tearfully admitted. “I wasn’t running away this time—honest.” She momentarily hesitated, thinking how on earth she could explain to Ralph precisely what she was doing sitting on a curb with Langdon in tow and in the middle of the night! But she decided to have a go anyway. “I know this might sound pretty stupid, Ralph, but I read the note you left me inside a book, and I took it to mean that I was meant to immediately leave the castle and start on the journey. But I’m beginning to think that as usual I have completely misread the situation. Don’t you think so?”
Ralph thought long and hard before answering. “Look, Polly, don’t take offense when I say that no journey is taken without weighing up the personal cost, and I think I am right in saying that on most adventures things happen good and bad. Yes, many things catch us unaware, making it difficult to anticipate everything that could possibly happen. We just have to deal with it. We either gird up our loins, so to speak, taking hold of the challenge, or we turn back to our safe, comfortable lives.”
“Comfortable?” exclaimed Polly, feeling very insulted. “I would not describe my life as comfortable, Ralph. In fact, it’s anything but!”
“Sorry, Polly,” Ralph replied. “That was probably the wrong choice of words. Perhaps safe or predictable would be more appropriate?”
“Oh, give me a break, Ralph,” cried Polly, now feeling very exasperated. “My life is neither safe nor predictable. In fact most of the time I wish it was,” she groaned loudly. “I never know what to expect when I get through the door each day, and I’ve never had the feeling I’m safe—never!”
“I guess what I’m trying to say,” said Ralph again rather apologetically, “is that sometimes we would rather stick with what we know and are used to than face any sort of change. You want change, don’t you, Polly?”
“How can you ask me such a question, Ralph?” Polly furiously demanded to know. “You know only too well that I do.”
“Oh, I most certainly know you do, but do you? For it is one thing to know you want change, but quite another to do something about it!”
Polly admitted to herself that even as desperate as she was to get out of the orphanage, she had gone through quite a battle of the mind. She felt her name should be changed from Polly to Yo-yo, as she went up and down so much, constantly procrastinating whenever it came to making any firm commitment or decision.
“Oh, Ralph,” she tearfully cried. “I really do want to believe in Piadora and have tea with Hodgekiss. But deep down I am so afraid that I haven’t got what it takes to make the journey. I have so little confidence and even less ability to survive outside the orphanage.
So what hope do I really have?” she asked, her heart welling up with great sadness.
“Well, that makes you a most excellent candidate then,” stated Ralph rather delightedly.
“What on earth do you mean by that?” challenged Polly.
“I mean that if you don’t think you can do it, then the greater the joy when you actually surprise yourself by achieving it,” he replied. Polly turned to look at him, her eyes conveying that she was indeed feeling most puzzled and perplexed. “Look, Polly, there are many people who have great confidence in their own abilities, and they determine that they will conquer all challenges that cross their path. They visualize their goalpost and decide that nothing will get in the way. They have every confidence in their own ability, and therefore they go through life with all around cheering them on and congratulating them with each success. They rightfully experience immense pride in their ability to succeed. But how much deeper will your joy be when, with very little going for you and with no one to cheer you on, you make it to the goalpost?”
Ralph waited for Polly to speak up, but no answer came forth from her lips so he answered the question for her. “I can tell you for certain that you will experience nothing short of pure elation as well as deep gratitude that you, Polly Brown, have achieved the impossible. Now, young lady, isn’t that the best ending you could ever wish for? A dream come true?”
“Yes, it is a pretty amazing thought,” said Polly, finally finding her tongue and speaking up. “But if I’m honest, Ralph, I don’t know if I believe in happy endings.”
“Well then, that is where the root of your problem lies,” said Ralph, a tinge of sadness in his voice. “For if you don’t believe in happy endings, why make this journey in the first place?” Ralph paused and looked her straight between the eyes. “Polly, if you want to reach for your dreams, then you must follow them with all your heart. I think I am correct when I say that every world-class athlete trains every day, rain or shine. They face each day knowing that exercise is crucial, that is, if they want success. A true athlete will be consumed with the desire to win, and as a result all they can see ahead of them is obtaining the prize. So that cup or medal will have them out there training, even when they have an injury. That is how great their determination is to succeed. If they gave up at the first hurdle, collapsing at the first sign of pain and discomfort, then they would have no right to their moment of glory, would they?”
Polly nodded her head, her eyes moist with fresh tears.
“Yes, dear Polly, if you want your dreams to come true, then you must not only become more resilient to life’s many obstacles, but you must also be more resolute in your thinking as you follow after your goals with your whole heart and all your strength.”
Polly fell silent, for she knew Ralph was right. She knew she wanted to believe that her dreams would come true, but inside everything screamed that they never would and that she was indeed a prize idiot if she believed that she, of all people, was capable of achieving anything!
Ralph believed it was time to bring the conversation to a close, for he felt he had given her plenty to chew over. He also knew that the next few days would prove fairly tough for Polly, for her head was as full of contradictions as her heart was full of turmoil. She had a lifetime of deep fear and mistrust to fight and conquer, and these inner demons would not disappear overnight! However, he decided to give Polly one final thought-provoking insight.
“Polly, I have a good and very dear friend whose name is Nippy Mango. He once said something that I believe to be true for many of us who struggle with all kinds of deep issues in our lives. His observations and insights have touched me very deeply over the years.”
Polly perked up and listened intently. “Go on, Ralph. Tell me, what did this Mungo chap—or whatever his name is—tell you?”
“Hold on, Polly, for I’m just about to get around to that. He said, ‘There is no easy way to walk to freedom, and most of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death a number of times before we reach the mountaintop of our dreams.’ I believe Nippy Mango was a very wise man, for he had indeed walked the same trail of hardship and despair as you have. But once he had come through his difficulties, he was clearly able to see that all things are possible to those who believe.”
Polly felt very comforted to hear that someone other than herself had found the struggle for freedom a most difficult and frustrating quest. And it made her more determined than ever to continue on and climb whatever m
ountains were necessary in order to get to her destination, and this was the kingdom of Piadora. Oh, and not forgetting that the prize for completing this journey would be tea and cakes with Hodgekiss. Ralph smiled and put his hand into his rather deep pocket before pulling out a brown paper bag.
“Here, Polly. You might like to have these?” he said thoughtfully.
“What are they?” questioned Polly.
“If you look inside then you will be able to see for yourself,” replied Ralph, most good-humoredly.
Polly opened the bag and plunged her small hand inside to pull out the contents.
“Why, it’s a pair of blinders!” she exclaimed, feeling rather shocked as well as highly insulted. “What on earth would I want these for, Ralph? For surely they are what horses wear on their heads.”
“Yes, Polly, I know that, but people who are following after their dreams need to wear them as well. For if you put them on, you will then notice that you can only see ahead, and therefore you will not be distracted from achieving your goal by all that is going on around you.”
Polly laughed, for she could see Ralph had a good point.
“Carry on looking, for there is still something else in the bag,” Ralph informed her.
“Oh! I thought the bag was now empty,” she exclaimed before turning the bag upside-down to give it a hard shake.
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