“Challenge is a good word for it. I know she is a good person, but sometimes I wonder if we will be able to change what sending her away to school has taught her,” Fitz said.
“If not, then it is she who will miss out on the love she could have from two worthy individuals. Do not worry yourself because of that choice, sir—it is her decision to make. All you can do is set the stage for her to excel and see what she does, guiding her when she strays too far off course.”
“I have a feeling she is on that path already, sir.”
“I see things quite differently, Colonel. I see before me a young girl whose parents are no longer alive and who is struggling to find who she really is. You have provided a companion who is excellent in her advice, and my nieces will now be in her life as well. If there is anything they are good at, it is showing love to those who are in need of it, and your cousin certainly needs it. Things may be difficult for a while, but I dare say in a year, what you see before you will be quite a different image.”
“I hope so; I truly do.” Remembering why he had stepped back to speak with Mr Gardiner, he said, “So what do you think about tomorrow?”
“My wife just mentioned to me this morning that we have become too lax with the children’s rest time in the middle of the day, so perhaps after a morning open carriage ride and a picnic, the children could return to the inn with their nurse and we can go for a ride. How does that sound to you?”
“It sounds perfectly acceptable to my tastes, sir, and I know my cousin will be amenable to such plans. Does Miss Mary enjoy riding as well?”
“My niece has not had the opportunity for several years, but I doubt she will have any trouble remembering what she knew. She used to be quite the enthusiast, but my brother insisted she moderate her ways after her accident.”
“I am sure she will do well on the trails then,” the colonel replied.
It turned out to be the perfect plan and everyone in their party enjoyed the day’s events. Mary was able to learn a few tips from the colonel that would serve her well in the coming months, as well as give him a pleasant memory when they must part ways again.
The days passed slowly for some and quickly for others, but eventually Mary and Georgiana returned to Pemberley and the colonel and the Gardiners went back to London, leaving the now expanded Darcy family to settle into their new lives.
Mary’s equestrian skills improved and she could often be found riding along the trails around Pemberley, though she avoided the paths Miss Darcy frequented. Mr Darcy insisted Mary take a servant with her, otherwise he put no restrictions on her activities. Her sister, on the other hand, insisted she not ride in such a manner as could cause injury. Although Mary would have preferred to be given the freedom to ride as she wished, she understood the sentiment and followed her sister’s directives, thinking to herself how very much like their father Elizabeth was.
Elizabeth, after having spent the first few weeks alone with her husband, stepped into her role as mistress of the estate in every way she could when the others returned to Pemberley. It was sometimes overwhelming, but her husband was always there to lend a hand where he could. It was a month fully before she began to understand how Mrs Reynolds, the housekeeper, kept everything running so well for so many years.
Darcy was just starting to become comfortable with the new changes in life when he noticed his wife seemed to not be herself. She was more tired than usual, and he could tell she was losing weight. Feeling she needed to be relieved of some of the duties she performed, he talked with her about his concerns. He thought she might become agitated because of his suggestion, so it shocked him when she demurely agreed then went to her chambers for a well needed rest. He thought she must have been terribly ill to give in as she did, so the doctor was called to see to Mr Darcy’s concerns about his wife.
It was with much joy the couple learned they were more than likely to have a baby join the family next spring. The doctor could not say for certain until she was further along, but all the signs pointed to the possibility. Darcy was happy for their lot, and the news helped quell his fears over his wife’s health.
The general air of Pemberley and the surrounding area was ripe with anticipation for the future heir to come soon to the obviously besotted couple. Rumors of the doctor’s frequent visits only added fuel to the stories talked about in the neighbor’s sitting rooms, but for the first time in his life, Darcy did not mind being the subject of their gossip. He could clearly see the changes his wife was undergoing, and the thought of his child growing inside her thrilled him greatly.
Mary also saw the anxiety that came over Elizabeth in the weeks since their return. She was relieved when Elizabeth confided that she might be with child, and especially touched when Elizabeth told her they were keeping it a secret from all others. Mary was delighted at the prospect of becoming an aunt, and promised to not tax her sister too much. She spent her days exploring the house and grounds, avoiding Miss Darcy when she could, and becoming enchanted with the gardens, just as the colonel had insisted she would.
With the help of Mary’s personal maid, Mabel, the staff at Pemberley were quickly learning what needs Mary had and how they could help her feel welcomed. The maid became a constant companion at times, explaining things to the other servants or communicating with Miss Mary on their behalf, and a routine was easily established that eased many a difficult situation.
The cook was happy to oblige their new mistress and her sister with providing Elizabeth’s favorite dish with supper or Mary’s favorite jam when scones were served, and Mrs Reynolds saw to it that the staff did not stare at the odd sight when Mary would sign to others around her. She herself even began to learn some signs. The sisters’ devotion to each other was evident for all to see, and the staff were all happy to do anything they could for the two.
Georgiana was walking through the halls one morning when Mabel nearly ran into her, the sewing box she held spilling all over the floor. “Watch where you are going, you insolent girl!”
“I apologize, Miss,” she bowed, then she placed Miss Mary’s dress on a nearby chair and bent down to pick up the contents of her box.
Georgiana saw Mary’s dress and walked over to it. Looking back to ensure the maid was not paying her any mind, she quietly ripped the ribbon on the hem and around one of the sleeves. Then without a second look she continued on to the sitting room.
Nothing was ever said to her, so she was not certain if the deed was even discovered. Then one day she noticed Elizabeth and Mary descending the stairs, and Mary wore the dress. The ribbon had been replaced and it looked none the worse for her actions.
Her brother walked up behind her and addressed his wife, “There you are. I wondered if you had returned from Lambton yet.” He turned to Mary, “What a lovely dress.”
“Yes, I have always told her this is my favorite,” Elizabeth replied. “We just returned not even an hour ago and Mabel was able to replace the ribbon with this new one we found this morning. What do you think?”
“It is quite lovely. Do you not agree Georgiana?” He turned and stared at her with that look that told her she had not gotten away with anything.
She looked down at the floor and sullenly replied, “Yes, lovely. If you will excuse me, please, Mrs Annesley is waiting for me.”
On another day Georgiana overheard Mrs Reynolds giving instructions to a maid. “Make sure you sharpen the pencils and put paper in all the rooms, as both the Master and Mistress want them easily available for Miss Mary.”
She was incensed with the addition of such tasks to the servants’ other duties. Everyone has more work to do because of that awful girl! Over the course of the next week, Georgiana managed to drop the pencils to the floor, break the pencil tips, and spill water on the paper in just about every room. She delighted in seeing Mary stooping to reach the pencils that had fallen under the table. The floor is the right place for her kind! Mary could feel Georgiana’s harsh looks, but did not dare say anything for want of
causing undue stress to her already ill sister—it was an accident, after all.
The next week while they were in Lambton for her weekly shopping trip, Mrs Annesley insisted they stop at the stationer. When the clerk asked if he could help them, she replied, “Yes, thank you. Miss Darcy wishes to purchase the finest lot of paper you have in stock, and she will be paying for it to be personalized with the initials M.E.B. as well. We wish to make this a very special gift for someone, so no detail is to be overlooked.”
“How delightful,” he replied. “My sister has just made some scented waters if you also wish to purchase one of those to sprinkle on the paper.”
“Yes, that sounds just lovely.”
“Right this way,” he said as he led them over to the counter where several sample bottles sat.
She picked them up and began to smell the contents. “Oh, this is my favorite, what do you say, Miss Darcy?”
Georgiana leaned over and sniffed the water, then nodded. Mrs Annesley handed it to the clerk, who went to fill the order.
Mrs Annesley leaned close to her charge and said quietly, “Do you think you will have enough money left over to purchase that new bonnet you have had your eye on, or shall we just go back home from here?”
Georgiana sighed. Nothing went unnoticed by the others. Not the nasty remarks of Mary’s unworthiness she made under her breath, nor the small pranks she played, such as hiding the book Mary was reading or taking all her pins so she had to wear her hair down one day until her maid could replace them. Each time, her brother found a way to make her pay restitution for the items, and she was beginning to think she would never have another new bonnet the rest of her life. It was with this realization that she had no choice but to end the mischief aimed at Mary Bennet. Her brother was besotted with his bride, and they both expected courtesy and good manners from everyone. In return, all the tenants and servants alike showed their love of the two sisters.
Georgiana was not happy, but her desire to stay at Pemberley and not be sent to school was enough to keep her insolence in restraint after that. She rarely interacted with anyone else unless her brother insisted, choosing instead to spend her days studying in her rooms, riding about Pemberley, or playing the pianoforte.
Unbeknownst to her, Mary loved to be in the room right next to the music room. She could feel the vibrations from the pianoforte through the closed door, and would sometimes spend hours standing there with her hand or her cheek pressed lightly against the wood. This was the closest she had come to hearing music since before her accident, and she relished the opportunities when they were presented to her.
It was with eager anticipation of the still uncertain future, and amidst the chaos of a perpetually sick wife, that Darcy received the expected letter from his friend Bingley. Upon opening it, he tried to decipher the writing, but it was nearly impossible. In Bingley’s haste and excitement over the news he wanted to tell, he had jumbled and blotted the words to the point that Darcy could make no sense of what was written within.
Finally in exasperation he threw the missive down on his desk and went back to consoling his wife. He told her of the letter, and they talked of their upcoming visit to his estate, but Darcy could not tell where this estate was located or even what the name was. He promised his wife he would take care of the details, and with her condition not seeming to want to ease, she gratefully agreed to let him. Between Darcy and his steward, the letter was finally deciphered, or so they hoped. A letter was written in response and plans for their journey were decided upon and put into action.
Pemberley’s Harvest Celebration was to be held two and a half months after the wedding. The particulars of this annual event were left to the mistress, and though she was not feeling her best, she did not want to disappoint the neighborhood. Mary helped where she could, as did her husband and surprisingly, even Georgiana offered her assistance, but the daunting task of overseeing each detail fell to Elizabeth alone. This kind of schedule made her already tired body even more depleted, and by the time the Harvest Celebration was completed she was more than ready for a much needed break. She did not look forward to the days of traveling in a rocking carriage, but to finally arrive at Mr Bingley’s estate and be able to relax for two months sounded like heaven to Elizabeth.
October brought with it cooler weather, beautiful colors in nature all around, and the expectancy that comes with a long journey ahead. Mrs Annesley received word of her niece beginning her confinement and of the young lady’s desire to have her there. So it was decided the family would travel to Mr Bingley’s estate without the companion, and she would join them when they returned to London in a few months’ time. They all gave their farewells and left Pemberley for their destinations.
The Darcys traveled slowly, stopping when the bumpy road became too much for Elizabeth. Georgiana did not care to ask why Elizabeth was so ill lately. Secretly, she hoped it was something that would take her out of their lives for good. Having a mother and cousin who were of poor constitution, and never having been exposed to an expectant lady, it did not occur to her that her sister—in—law could be with child. She greatly looked forward to arriving at their destination as Miss Bingley was to keep house for her brother, and she knew she could find someone with which to commiserate about the woes which befell her dreary life.
After four days of travel, they were finally to arrive at their destination today, and Mary looked forward to it tremendously. Elizabeth, exhausted from the journey, lay with her head nestled against her husband’s shoulder, his arm wrapped around her to keep her from falling off the seat. Mary sat opposite them on the same bench with Georgiana, looking out the window for most of the ride.
It was when they entered a small merchant town that Mary became agitated. She recognized the streets. Closing her eyes and rubbing them slightly, she opened them again and looked out the window. Yes, she definitely recognized this town. She remembered often walking down this very road as she and her sisters went to visit their aunt and uncle. Her heart began to beat furiously and her palms began to sweat. She looked to the others in the carriage, but they did not seem to notice anything amiss. Did Mr Darcy not know where they were or what significance it held to her and her sister? How could he not?
Mary closed her eyes and hoped they were just passing through, but when they turned down an even more familiar road just outside of town she could no longer keep from looking out the window once again. They were far enough away to not see the details, but it was clear that the damage from the fire four years ago left no lasting mark on the place she had called home for fifteen years. She sat in stunned silence as the carriage ambled on down the road, to where, she did not know.
The knot in the pit of her stomach did not ease as they eventually turned towards the estate that bordered Longbourn. Did Mr Bingley lease Netherfield Park? Surely fate could not be playing such a cruel joke on me right now, she thought.
By the time they were stopped in front of the large edifice she did not even know what to think. After her accident the Bennet sisters were not allowed to wander about the area, so they had never actually seen Netherfield Park, but she could not say that now as it clearly stood right in front of her. She felt someone touch her elbow and mechanically let them lead her inside, not even realizing until they were at the front door that it was Mr Bingley, their host. She entered the front hall and the staff was there to take her bonnet and spencer. She saw Elizabeth groggily removing hers as well, then watched as she followed the housekeeper up the stairs. It was obvious to Mary that Elizabeth did not recognize where they were. Not knowing what to do, she followed the others and was soon shown to her room.
She sat heavily on the bed not even noticing the beautiful room around her until the maid finished unpacking her trunks then asked if she was needed for anything else. Mary changed out of her dusty traveling frock then dismissed the maid, telling her to please give her excuses as she was not feeling well and would not be down for supper. The maid left and a few minutes later
returned with a tray of soup, but it sat untouched on the table as Mary curled up in the soft bed and went to sleep.
She hoped to wake up and realize this was all a dream, but somehow even as she slept she knew the inevitable would be realized when she opened her eyes once again. Nightmarish dreams plagued her all night, and she tossed and turned so much she woke up the next morning tangled in the bed linens. Unfortunately, she recognized the room as the one she was trying to forget when she went to sleep. Her gut wrenched and she barely made it to the chamber pot before she found herself sick with anxiety.
Darcy,” Bingley bowed to his friend when his guests walked into the dining room. “Mrs Darcy,” he bowed again. “I pray you slept well?”
Darcy led his wife to a chair, pulling it out for her then taking the one beside her as he answered their host, “Thank you, we did.”
Elizabeth poured two cups of tea, handing one to her husband as she received the plate with toast on it from him. She smiled at the knowledge that they were in such a routine that they could predict what each would do.
“If you or your sisters need anything, please let me know.” He accepted the nod of thanks from Darcy, then continued his meal as he talked. “I was looking forward to joining the neighborhood at services this morning, but I did not want to leave my guests alone.”
“Perhaps we can join you next week, Mr Bingley,” Elizabeth replied.
“Capital, capital, I hope you can. I also hope you will join me on Tuesday evening. The neighborhood is to have an Assembly, and I have been assured there will be room for all my guests to attend.”
Darcy looked at Elizabeth, his eyes quietly questioning her. When she smiled and gave a short nod, he turned back to their host, “We would be glad to join you.”
Just to Hear 'I Love You': An Alternate Tale of Jane Austen's 'Pride & Prejudice' Page 15