by E. L. Todd
Sean paled. “Seriously, I’m going to spew.”
I chuckled, finding that information hilarious. “Does Cortland know?”
“Nope,” Ryan said. “I’ve sworn not to tell him.”
“And you actually did it?” I asked in surprise.
“We both know Janice would kick my ass if she found out I spilled the beans,” Ryan said.
“Ryan,” I hissed. “Watch the language.”
He sighed again. “Damn it. I mean—gosh darn.”
I rolled my eyes. My brother would never control the profanity that came out of his mouth.
“You should call Cortland and give him a head’s up,” Ryan said. “I can talk to him if you want, but he’d probably rather hear it from you.”
“You think he’d want to come?” Sean asked.
“Dude, everyone will,” Ryan said. “Even though your mom was sick when she was terrible to Scarlet, it’s been hard for me to let go of the hostility I feel toward her. I care about her and want her to be well, but I feel loyal to Andrew. I want to be there to support him. Even if he doesn’t act like it, I know he’s scared. He’s always been there for me and Scarlet. And in return, we’ll always be there for him.”
I could tell Sean was moved by the emotion in his eyes. “I appreciate that…”
“Sure.” Ryan went back to focusing on Skye, the new love in his life.
I called Cortland after Ryan left. “Hey.”
“Hey,” he said. “How’s being a mom treating you?”
“God, my tits hurt.”
He paused for a second. “There was a lot of things I expected you to say, but that was not one of them.”
I chuckled. “Well, it’s always on my mind.”
“Apparently. What’s up?”
“I just wanted to let you know we’re going out of town for a while. Sean’s mom is having surgery in Seattle.”
“Oh, that’s right. I totally forgot. What day are you leaving?”
“Thursday.”
He typed on his computer in the background. “Are you doing the 4 a. m. flight or the 7 a. m. one?”
“You’re coming?”
“Isn’t that why you called me?”
“No…I just wanted to tell you.” Actually, I was moved he wanted to join us.
“No, Monnique and I want to be there. I doubt Sean cares if I take time off work for this.”
“He probably won’t even notice,” I said honestly. “He’ll be too busy thinking about his mom or Skye.”
“Probably,” he said. He typed again. “Okay, I got our tickets. We’ll just stay at whatever hotel you’re staying at. I’ll call Hazel and let her know.”
“You think she and Flynn would want to come?”
“Definitely.”
“Wow…I don’t even know what to say.”
“We’re family, Scar. We’ve been saying that for years.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“Hey, when we get back, Monnique and I want to spend some time with our niece. You need to bring her over. We’re only three minutes away.”
“Well, Sean and I are a little absorbed in her. When we need a babysitter, we’ll let you know.”
“Then Monnique and I will have to drop by whenever we want.”
“Welcome to the club,” I said sarcastically.
He laughed. “Those babies are so lucky. So many people love them.”
It was something I never felt in my life—until now. My father loved me, but I knew my mom never did. And after my dad was gone, all I had was Ryan. My daughter had so many people that loved her unconditionally. They came by just to see her, bringing toys and gifts. Pictures were constantly being taken. They actually fought over her.
Before I knew it, tears fell from my eyes.
“Scar?” Cortland asked, panicked. “What’s wrong? What did I say?”
“Nothing.” I sniffed and wiped my tears away.
“Come on, talk to me.”
Sean came down the stairs, having ears of a fox. Skye was asleep in her crib so he came to my side, concern in his eyes. He kept his silence since I was on the phone, but his hand rubbed my back.
“I just…I never had anyone love me when I was growing up. Every birthday was spent at Mega-Shake so I didn’t have to be in the house, I always stuffed a towel in the crack of my door so my mom would think I was asleep, and I was always scared…having no one to turn to but Ryan. And Skye…she has so many people who love her. She’ll never suffer what I suffered through.” I was never open about my past with Cortland, but I didn’t want to hide it anymore. After my mom attacked me, it was pretty clear I had an abusive past.
“Isn’t that a good thing?” he asked gently.
“It’s an absolutely wonderful thing…it’s everything I ever could have wanted.”
Cortland was quiet for a while. “You’ve come such a long way, Scar. You’re the strongest person I know, and Skye will understand that someday. And she’ll look up to you.”
“Maybe…”
“No, she will,” he whispered. “And I suspect Sean is sitting right next to you, so I’ll let you go so he can do what he does best.”
“Okay…”
“I love you, Scar.”
“I love you too.”
“I’ll see you on Thursday.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
Sean took the phone from my hand and kissed my tears away. “Baby, I know what happened to you was horrible. Every time I think about it, the pain overwhelms me and I think I can’t go on anymore…but your mom is gone and everything is behind you. All those nights of tears and fears are over. You have the family you were missing, you have a daughter who loves you, and you have a maniacal husband that would kill anyone who even looked at you the wrong way. Now is the time to be happy, to release the pain and regret, and just let it go.”
“Let it go?” I steadied my tears and looked at him.
He nodded. “For once and for all. All it does is bring you pain. I’m the other half of your soul, and together, we combined our essence into making a beautiful baby girl. We are your family. I am your mother and your father. I am everything you’re ever going to need—forever.”
“Okay…” I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. My childhood was nothing but a sad story. I’d suffered more than any child ever should. Without Ryan, I didn’t know where I would be. I didn’t even want to think about it. But Sean was right; it was time to let it go. My mom was gone forever and I successfully built a new life for myself. It was unusual and unorthodox. Instead of being born in a family and being bounded by blood, I decided to compensate for my losses and make my own. I touched the lives of those who touched me, and somehow, I built my own circle of trusted friends and loved ones. They weren’t just people I knew and spent time with. They were everything to me, brothers and sisters, guardians and protectors. They were more than I would ever need. And I had a husband that wasn’t just my lover and my friend. He was the other half of me. How could I be mournful when I had so much more now? Would I still have it if those horrible things hadn’t happened to me? Would my brother and I had been so close? I would never know. But I did know one thing.
That I had so much more to live for.
“You’re right,” I whispered. “It’s time to let it go.”
Sean balled my hand into a fist, like I was clutching something, and then he pulled it out in front of my body, making me hold the stance without shaking. “Now do it.”
I took a deep breath then opened my hand, letting everything I was holding onto fall to the floor.
When we were on the plane, Skye was asleep in my arms.
Sean gave me a dark look then nodded to the bathroom. “You thinking what I’m thinking…?”
Geez, he would never give this up. “And what would we do with our baby?” I asked incredulously. “Take her with us?”
“Cortland and Monnique are just a few aisles behind us.”
He was being serious. �
��Sean, no.”
He growled. “Come on, be a little more adventurous.”
“I’m a mother now. Those days are over.”
He shook his head. “Having a child doesn’t mean you can’t be fun and exciting.”
“Stop trying to persuade me,” I hissed. “My answer is no.”
“If I wanted to persuade you, I’d use my mouth in a very different way.”
My husband’s words caused moisture to pool between my legs. That’s how pathetic I was. “Just drop it.”
He smirked. “I can see it in your eyes, Scar. You want me.”
“I always want you. But that doesn’t mean I get you.”
“Actually, it does.”
Skye woke up then started reaching for my breasts, her fist closing and opening.
“Someone’s hungry,” Sean said.
“It’s just as well,” I said with a sigh. “If I don’t feed her, my breasts will explode. They’re so swollen right now.”
His eyes darkened.
I grabbed a blanket then pulled down my shirt to expose my breast underneath the concealment. She found my tit instantly and started to suck. The constant pull of her lips was making my nipples purple. But it got Sean in the mood every time.
He kept staring at me, silently telling me what he wanted.
I shook my head. “Not gonna happen.”
He growled then leaned back in his seat.
When we landed in Seattle, the smell of the moisture and pine trees came into my nose. The lushness of the city and the scent of freshness immediately reminded me of my time here. While I had a horrible past, this place was nothing but beautiful. Musk was heavy in the air because it rained just a few hours ago. The streets were wet and slippery. People wore raincoats and umbrellas just in case the dark clouds decided to pour.
“It’s beautiful,” I said while we waited for a cab.
Sean held Skye in his arms. “This is where your mother is from,” he whispered to her. He always spoke to her like she could understand him. Sometimes Skye looked at him with her large eyes, soaking in every word. They had a unique bond, something that transcended verbal communication. I knew my daughter would love me, but she would have a special fondness for her father.
Mike joined us, wearing his baby satchel while Trinity leaned against his chest. “This place is nice.”
Sean eyed the apparatus. “You bring that everywhere you go?”
“Dude, you should try it,” Mike said. “It’s a godsend. Now I can carry all the bags and my baby at the same time.”
“You look ridiculous either way,” Sean said.
“Well, at least there’s no possibility of dropping her.” He eyed Skye in his arms. “Unlike you.”
“Even if I were shot in the back of the head, I wouldn’t drop her,” Sean said with a dark tone.
Cassandra rolled her eyes. “Let’s just drop the argument for now.”
“That would be lovely,” I said.
Cortland carried his bag and Monnique’s then joined us at the curb. “Sucks not having a car.”
“Yeah,” Sean said.
Andrew and Diane joined us at the curb. “We’ll meet you at the hotel?” Andrew asked.
“Word,” Mike said.
Flynn approached us, drowning in a sea of bags. “Hazel, how much stuff did you bring?”
“Just a few things,” she said quietly.
He opened one of her bags.
“Hey!” She swatted his hand. “Don’t touch my stuff.”
He pulled out a frying pan. “What the hell do you need this for?”
“What if we want to cook?” she asked.
He shoved it back inside. “We’re only going to be here a few days.”
“You never know,” she said with a shrug.
He sighed and zipped it up. “If you weren’t such a hot piece of ass…”
“I’m a lot more than that.” She put her hands on her hips.
He laughed. “So you think.”
She hit his arm. “Don’t be a jerk.”
“Sorry, babe. It’s in my nature.”
The cabs arrived and we put everything inside. Like usual, Sean wouldn’t let me touch anything, so I held Skye while he put everything in the trunk. Then we were off and on our way to the hotel. I stared out the window, looking at the city I knew better than my own nose.
“You miss it?” Sean asked.
“Sometimes.” A few drops of water leaked down the window.
“I’m sorry I made you move,” he whispered.
“No, I like the east coast too. Besides, there’s nothing for me here anymore.”
“There’s Mega-Shake,” he said with a smile.
“Can we stop by before we leave?” I asked excitedly.
“Of course. I’m sure everyone else will be just as enthused.”
I looked out at my daughter. “Skye, you’ll love it.”
“She can’t eat anything.”
“She can have a milkshake,” I said with a smile.
“And get her hooked on sugar?” Sean shook his head. “Sounds like a bad idea.”
“Well, I’m her mom and I say she can have a taste.”
He shrugged. “I’ll never win an argument with you, but I guess that’s okay.”
When we arrived at the hotel, the bellman carried our things into our room. When I noticed the extra door in the wall, I investigated it.
“Where does this go?” I asked.
“To the adjoining room,” Sean said as he put Skye into her small crib.
“Who are we sharing a room with?”
Ryan came in through the door. “Isn’t this nice? Now I can come over and steal your food whenever I want.”
I sighed. “Like we don’t see you enough as it is.”
“Whatever,” Ryan snapped. “I just want to have access to my niece.” He walked to the crib and looked down. “So damn cute. I’m going to teach her to play baseball and hockey.”
“My daughter isn’t playing hockey,” Sean snapped. “Far too dangerous. And if you’ll excuse us, I’d like some time with my wife.”
“Whatever you say.” He walked out then shut the door.
“What time are we going to the hospital tomorrow?” I asked.
“In the morning,” Sean answered. He pulled off his jacket then rested it over the chair. “But I don’t want to think about that right now. He faced me, his eyes glued to my breasts.
Somehow, he wanted to have sex even more now that I wasn’t pregnant. “We have a baby now. We can’t just take off and screw whenever we want.”
He grabbed the baby monitor and turned it on. “Actually, we can.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the bedroom. “I’ve had a hard-on since you breast-fed Skye on the plane. Thinking about those big tits has been driving me crazy all day.”
“Well, that’s romantic.”
He pulled my shirt over my head then removed my jeans. My body wasn’t what it used to be. I had a layer of flab over my stomach and loose skin. Everything started to tighten but I still had some work to do. I started running with Sean in the morning, but losing weight was a slow process. But when Sean looked at me like I was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen, my insecurities faded to the back of my mind.
When he unclasped my bra, he moaned quietly while he stared at my breasts. He was obsessed with my rack for reasons I couldn’t understand. They were so big they were starting to hurt my back. I knew they would get smaller after I stopped breast-feeding, but for now, I’d have to deal with it. But Sean seemed to love them even more.
He kissed my neck while he massaged both of my tits in his hands. I unzipped his jeans and yanked them down, along with his briefs. He pulled his own shirt off then returned all his attention to my breasts. His eyes shined in greed while he rubbed his thumb over the nipple. He sucked in a deep breath then guided me to the bed, laying me on my back. He liked being on top because he could watch my breasts shake while we made love.
The thing I loved most abou
t being married was Sean’s commitment to me. I knew he was particularly attracted to a woman’s breasts, but I never saw his eyes wander when we were out. If a busty lady walked by, he didn’t even glance. His eyes were always glued to my face, and if not that, my chest. It was nice being his fantasy, nice being enough for him. On the days I felt most hideous, he made me feel beautiful.
He pressed my knees into the bed and leaned over me, penetrating me deeply. The baby monitor lay beside us on the bed, but Skye was silent. Sean inserted himself entirely then paused before he pulled out again. Then he picked up speed and thrust inside me, making my breasts jiggle with every movement of his hips. His eyes shined in lust, and he moaned and grunted. Even when we weren’t making love, the connection between us was still beautiful. I loved the carnal times as well as the gentle ones. Right now, I knew Sean was just horny, but I was flattered that I was the one who made him that way.
He pressed his thumb to my clitoris then rubbed in a circular motion, keeping it in tune to his thrusts. When it came to making love, he was the master. Even though he’d practiced with so many other women, I got to reap all the benefits. He always satisfied me and gave me what I wanted. I couldn’t count the number of times when my former lovers had horrific performances. And I could tell they didn’t give a damn if it was good for me. But Sean was different. He wanted to keep me coming back for more.
I knew Sean was struggling to hold on, so as soon as I felt that welcomed burn between my legs, I grabbed his ass and pulled him into me harder. “I’m coming…”
He moaned then released himself inside me, finding that burst of crescendo at the exact same moment. His eyes moved to mine and he moaned while he finished, making sure every ounce of his essence was deep inside me. He leaned down then gave me a gentle but passionate kiss. He rubbed his nose against mine and gave me a look heavy with love.
I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, that his mom would be okay and we would get through this difficult time, but before I could say anything, our moment was rudely interrupted.
Skye started crying, clearly hungry for more milk.
Sean sighed. “Back to reality.”
We arrived at the hospital early the next morning. Everyone was in the lobby when we arrived. Mike wore the satchel with Trinity inside, but Sean didn’t make a joke. Everyone was solemn and quiet.