by L M Adams
“Figure out what you want.”
“I don’t want to really hurt people. Kinky fun, sure. But unless they’ve done something to me, I don’t want to cause people pain. I don’t want to make a mess out of my life, I want to be happy.”
After I say the truth, the anger seems to recede a little. Making up with Peter, Jack’s kiss, both probably helped. I may walk around and pretend that I’m a total bad ass but somewhere inside of me I do want to be happy. I just don’t know how to get there.
“Then the easy part is over. Now you just need to believe you deserve to be happy. Which I’m afraid is going to be much harder for you.”
“I love you little sister, and in some ways I wish I was as strong as you. You’ve made a life here for yourself, a good one. But you cut off too much of what makes you, you, to do it.”
“My succubus? I keep her locked away.”
“See, you refer to her as if she’s not you. You are a succubus, half succubus, but still. You don’t even smell the same. You’re all citrus, it shows the imbalance. She pushes the human and vampire parts out of the way to become dominant because you try to starve her.”
“You’re one to talk. All you ever smell like is a coming storm, ozone and high magic.”
“Yes, well I have to sacrifice a lot to keep the ones I love safe.” He smiles, eyes wolfy.
He has done so much to keep me safe, never once complaining. I sigh and I put down my coffee on the table. I turn in my seat so I can look at him directly.
“Thank you for everything, Tabari. The gods blessed me with you, I know that. If there is anything you ever need, you only have to ask.”
“Then I want a favor from you.”
“Of course, anything.”
“Give Lucien a chance.”
“Anything but that.” I pick up my coffee again, taking a sip.
“Just let him be near you, let him date you.”
“The Beast doesn’t know how to date someone. Shit, I don’t know how to date someone. I picked Jack up in a vampire strip-club-whorehouse-bar.”
He laughs. “Try to find a way to spend alone time with him just him once a day and we will call my favor fulfilled.”
“You’re cashing in all your chips on this one, Tabari.” I warn him.
“Yeah, I know.”
I hear the bathroom shower turn off. A flash of Lucien’s water slicked skin runs through my mind. Goddess, Tabari is really pushing it. I can keep Lucien out of my heart and my bed if I stay angry at him. But if I have to spend more and more time with him, how am I going to hold on to my anger? That’s how the first war between us ended. The more time I spend around Lucien a connection forms between us, whether I want it to or not. Sooner or later all the reasons I find to be angry become foolish to hold on to.
“You are not that smart, Tabari.” Now I’m seeing that was his plan all along.
“I am all seeing, all knowing; the most powerful Magi of our generation. Of course I’m that smart.” He laughs again.
Meddlesome Magi. I get up and go up the stairs to avoid Lucien. Yes, I need to spend my daily time with him still. But I need to gather my courage a little first, and I need to get dressed. I need to get Peter to Big Mike’s.
I make it to my room; Jack is getting dressed already. He’s living out of his bags. I need to find him some closet space. I’ll admit it, I want him to stay. I don’t want to give him back to the Madame. I meant my promise to him, I won’t send him away. I also want more from him, I don’t know exactly what.
Question is, will the Madame demand I give him back? If I was her, I would.
“I need to take Peter over to Big Mike’s, do you want to come?”
He looks over at me, “I would be welcome there?”
I shrug my shoulder. “I don’t give a shit, you’re my…” My what? Slave? Boyfriend? “You’re mine, where I go, you better be welcome. I need you close today, you make feel better. And if I feel better, then I can help Peter. I need things to work.”
He closes the distance between us and gently kisses my forehead.
“Then of course I shall escort you. A vampire hanging with werewolves. Who ever heard of such a thing?” He laughs.
“Peter likes you.”
“I like Peter; he’s a good friend to you. But he is new, no one has told him of the old hatreds yet.”
“Peter’s a good man, he can think for himself.”
“I guess that makes me the worst kind of man.” He whispers low.
Then he’s reaching beneath my tank top and under my bra to tease my nipple. My breath hitches as my nipple tightens into a bud enjoying his skilled fingers. My lips get wet; one set from my tongue, the other from passion as my body responds to him.
“I need a shower, I’m sweaty.” I say low, looking into his gorgeous eyes framed wonderfully by beautifully arched eyebrows. Jack is just a handsome man, truly one of cupid’s own.
“I’ll lick you clean.”
Oh goddess above thank you.
After much succubussy fun – is that a word? – I get a shower and wash my hair; the only way to get it straight is to start over. I let Jack blow dry my hair for me and leave it down to hang free around my face and midway down my back. I mention cutting it. Jack tells me no, in a very firm voice. He is very bossy for a slave. I find I don’t mind so much.
I take enjoyment in the simple pleasures of being with him. The intimacy between us. I’ve missed more than just sex. I’ve missed the connection to another being after sex.
His easy smile tugs at my heart, right before I stomp those feelings down with my ass kicking boots. I can’t love, I don’t know how, or maybe I do but I’ll fuck it up. I’ve never been in love, not really, not at least sane love. Evil doesn’t have a pure love, it’s just not possible. But I damn sure like him a lot.
We finally make it back downstairs; everyone is in the living room. Even Minx is curled on Peter’s lap. Lucien is off by himself sitting in the chair on the far wall, across from the stairs.
As usual he separates himself, the Beast has never been one to be around people in a social setting. He just doesn’t know how. He stares at us with a blank expression. But I know it hurts him to see me with Jack. I try to keep from feeling perverse satisfaction seeing his pain. Perhaps I don’t try hard enough.
I flop on the seat between Peter and Tabari. Minx is purring very loudly, she likes Peter, I guess?
“I’m trying to find a suitable place for an office for you and an apartment for me. It’s a little crowded here.” Tabari says.
“Yeah, you think?” I pause. “So the Elders are serious about me becoming the Grigori for Baltimore?”
“They gave me the funds and the banns to authorize your new position. You need to start right away, actually. We’ve gotten reports of Bâtardi going missing in the area.”
“Bâtardi?” Peter asks slowly like he’s tasting the word on his tongue ba-tar-dye.
I try to explain the word although it’s mean. The Kindred isn’t really known for being a nice group of people.
“It means the bastard children of supernaturals. That’s what the Kindred call them; usually they are identified by what they carry in their blood, like you were a wolf carrier. They are the children of the supernaturals that chose or are forced into not becoming what their supernatural parent was.”
“But they aren’t real supernaturals?” Peter asks.
“Yes and no,” Tabari answers. “Some humans can carry a dormant supernatural gene. Like the sickle cell trait, pretty harmless on its own. Say you were to have a son by a human woman; he would be a first-generation wolf lycanthrope carrier, a Bâtardi. So your son would remain unless he decided to be presented to the Wolf Mother to have those dormant genes in his DNA turned on with a little wolf magic.”
“Why would anyone want to do that? Become a werewolf?” Peter asks.
“Well, some just want to be supernatural; extended life, power. To be in a healthy pack is like a huge family. Big Mike’s pack is very healthy; y
ou’ll find many friends there. A sense of community like no other. Even as a carrier you’ll be less susceptible to human diseases. The collapse of man proved that. Anyone more than a third generation didn’t even get a sniffle.” I chime in, trying to make up for all the reasons I’d given him last night on why being a werewolf would suck. I really am a shit.
“So, everyone is a carrier now? There are no humans left?” Peter asks, shocked.
“No, there are plenty of humans left. I’m just saying it’s one of the benefits, one that helped rebuild society after the collapse.”
“Bâtardi, depending on their generation of the gene, become witches or warlocks with low level magical abilities. Some become clairvoyants, psychics and the like. Some go plum fucking crazy. The stronger the gene, the more likely this is. If you were to have a son by a female werewolf, he might even die if he’s not turned. Just as if two people that have the sickle cell trait have a child- fifty percent will have the trait, twenty-five percent will be fine, and twenty-five percent will have sickle cell disease. It’s luck of the draw.” Tabari explains.
A fresh cup of coffee appears in front of me, Jack’s hand is holding it. I lean my head back and look up to him, I smile. “Thank you, baby.”
He hands me an energy bar. Goddess I am hungry, I didn’t feed when Jack and I had gotten busy. He’s going out in the sun. I don’t want to drain his Chi. I hear Lucien get up and stomp towards the kitchen, I hum in my throat. Tabari cut his eyes at me. I shrug my shoulder. Oh well, I’m not going to not be nice to Jack. Jack makes his way back upstairs, I guess to hang in my room for a while.
“But I’m a carrier and I never have been crazy, or had witchy powers.”
“When’s the last time you got a cold? You’ve always been strong, Peter, a natural leader, great intuition.” I say, taking a bite into the chewy chocolate chip goodness of my energy bar.
“The ones that do go crazy or have powers, we say those Bâtardi are god touched or their cups have overflowed. They can no longer hold the magic in their bloodline. For others, it has no effect on them and they can go through their entire lives without knowing it. The Daemon Kindred try to keep track of them. But it’s not usually one of our top priorities. When reports started coming in that so many had gone missing, and from the same area, we thought it prudent to look into it.”
Peter and I just stare at each other. “The two men form the alley yesterday. I assumed they were tracking me.” I say and turn back to Tabari.
“Is there a certain type of Bâtardi that has been targeted?” Peter asks. He’s going all CNAE officer on us.
“Lycanthropy, wolves for the most part.” Tabari answers, finally looking at us both. “But if it’s a direct tie to the wolves or just lycanthropes in general, I can’t say.”
“It could be wolf carriers being attacked since there aren’t many other strains of lycanthropy in America,” I muse out aloud.
“Why not?” Peter asks.
“I really don’t know why, to be honest. Shifter clans usually mimic the natural habitats of their animal forms. Wolves are big in North America as well as cougars. Tigers, leopards, hyenas, and lions aren’t naturally from the continent so you won’t find a shifter clan of that flavor. Of course, there’s always an exception to the rule, like Minx. But she’s a full blood,” I explain.
“Minx? Your roommate? Is a wolf?”
I’m getting ready to respond when Minx starts to shift. She’s using a spell imbedded in the emerald gem she wears in a collar around her neck. The collar must have a spell as well. It shifts to fit her neck in human form, panther form, or as her favorite when she’s home, her all black, spook-the-fuck-out-of-people, kitty cat form.
She’s from Central America. With even cocoa skin and green piercing eyes, the color doesn’t change no matter what body she chooses to inhabit. If she’s human, she stands about five foot six, although, her naked slender form is currently lying in Peter’s lap. Her feet dangle on my thigh a little as she leans on the arm of the sofa with both elbows, long silken black hair pools around her, I do love her hair.
Okay, maybe I’m a little jealous of her hair. My own used to hang to my ass before it was cut.
“Oh, your roommate is a cat? I thought she just named her cat after herself.” Peter looks down at the gorgeous woman in his lap, wide eyed.
“Yup she’s a cat,” I mumble.
I have to give it to the man: he hasn’t jumped up or pushed her off his lap. He has this little O on his lips. But, all in all, he seems to be taking it in stride.
“Hola Senõr Wolf.” She looks up at Peter with full lips, a straight nose, and gorgeous white teeth. Being that she doesn’t look like she’s going to get up to go put on some clothes, I figure I better continue on with the conversation.
“See the gem she has around her neck?” I pause, waiting for Peter to drag his eyes to the charms I want to talk about.
“She’s able to shift to the kitty cat you just had on your lap because of it. Gems can hold spells for an extended amount of time and can be invoked with a word or thought. But she’s really a lycanthrope of the panther flavor, a werepanther, if you will.”
She slides from Peter’s lap and sashays her way around the sofa to the stairs and up them. I look at Tabari and notice he’s appreciating the view as well. Shit, I’m appreciating the view. She hardly ever changes into human form.
Well there was that one time I used her cream and she needed a human voice to cuss me out, rapidly, in Spanish. Her English isn’t so good, but she gets her point across. I haven’t touched her stuff since.
“The two men last night were…?” Peter finally turns back around and asks.
“They were human. Maybe carriers. You can’t smell a carrier like you can a full blood. That’s why I had no idea until you were bleeding out from the gunshot wound that you had wolf in you.”
“I’m wishing I’d scanned their wrists now.”
“Well we couldn’t have known we’d need to find them again so soon.” I offer. I’m really wishing I’d killed them now.
“I could look in the CNAE database to see if we have files on any of the missing people.
I look at Tabari for his response, he shrugs. “It’s your show.”
“Listen, Peter.” I clear my throat “You really can’t go back to work right now. Your wolf is new. You’re still going to be going through a lot of changes and the full moon is only three days away. On top of that,” I rush on not wanting him to interrupt. “All supernaturals, daemons, shifters or otherwise – have only a few rules, yes. But the most paramount is to keep our existence secret. If I had told you what I was, or what Big Mike was, or any of what you know now, your life, my own, and anyone connected to us would have been forfeit. It’s a death sentence to know of us and not be one of us. Especially if the Kindred finds out. That’s the reason I never told you. I thought about risking it, I did. But it wouldn’t have been fair of me to tell you without asking you first if it was something you would want to risk your life to know. I couldn’t really ask you without telling you.” I offer my explanation, the one I owed him, really. The one I should have given him last night instead of being such a bitch.
I stare at him, willing him to understand.
He nods his head. “Okay. But I still want to help with this. I don’t have to go in to look for a file. I have my tablet with me.” He gets up from the sofa, walking behind it and tugs on my hair. I swat his hand away, grinning like a loon. I have my friend back; I’ll do anything to keep him now.
“He loves you,” Tabari says in his nonchalant way after Peter makes his way upstairs.
“What? No, he doesn’t. He’s my friend; one of my closest since I’ve been on ‘vacation’.” I scoff.
“He might not be in love with you now, but he entertained the thought for longer than a moment. He still has feelings there, more than friendship.”
“Ugh, and you know this because?”
“I am all-knowing and all-seeing. I’m the mo
st powerful Magi of our generation.” Tabari laughs getting up from the chair. He sets the laptop on the coffee table and wanders into the kitchen.
I shake my head and relax on the sofa, enjoying a few moments of peace. I think about what Tabari said. What am I supposed to do with that?
Pretend like Tabari never said anything. My succubus agrees. We have better food now.
Sigh.
Chapter Fifteen
Of pain and pleasure
So three daemons, a wolf, and a vampire walk into a bar… okay, bad joke. But then that’s my life.
It has taken forty-five minute’s worth of arguing and a ten-minute drive to get us over to Big Mike’s. Honestly, you’d think adults would get along a little better.
First Peter insists he’s fine to drive. Not going to happen. Then Lucien insists on coming but Lucien refuses to be in the same car as Jack let alone let him drive. I want Jack to drive if I can get Peter to give up the keys. And Tabari, well he just finds everything hilarious.
I settle the argument by snatching Peter’s keys, stomping out of the house and to the large back gate. I open the gate and get in the car, slamming the door. Jack is the first to join me, taking the back seat behind me. He’s wise enough not to make a comment. Tabari gets in and slides into the backseat, although, there is no real middle back seat so his legs are spread over the middle partition of the car. Peter gets in the back, slamming back the front seat to crunch in on himself. Lucien is last having to fold into himself to get in the car, front seat or not.
“How did you guys get here?” I ask Lucien, he doesn’t answer, only turns his head to stare out of the window.
“We drove,” chimes in ever-helpful Tabari.
Peter saves me from stating the obvious. “Well why the hell didn’t you two drive? Instead I’m sitting ass to thigh with a man in the back seat of my own goddamn car!” I can feel the push of Peter’s wolf, angry and frustrated, flow over my skin. I can’t calm myself enough to push soothing thoughts towards Peter. My own temper almost ready to explode.
“Because where Jae goes, I go,” Lucien says in a voice not to broker any argument.