by L M Adams
Big Mike keeps the park well laden with deer for the pack to hunt. It was a harder task to manage pre-com. The deer running in the streets that surround the park attempting to migrate caused a lot of accidents. Without many cars on the road now, however, the hunt is bountiful. I smell the scent of the frightened creatures, and they are everywhere.
Peter’s wolf reaches out through the small link we share. I feel his pain as he lies on his side. I need to go find him, to help whatever way I can. My body is pulled towards him. I open the link we share feeding him power, feeding his wolf.
It doesn’t take me long to find Peter, he’s surrounded by four wolves; they turn to look at me, sniffing the air. Deciding if I’m friend or foe, I’m sure.
The first change will be the hardest for him, it doesn’t help that he can’t pull on the power of the pack to help him, there’s only me. I taste Peter’s fear and confusion warring with his wolf’s desire to shed this human skin, to finally be free.
Well I may not be an expert in turning into a werewolf, but I am pretty versed in the split personality disorder realm of things.
I take a step closer to Peter, slowly holding out my hands palms up, to show I hold no weapons. I am not a threat to the wolves standing guard over Peter as he changes; one of them growls low in their throat, warning. These wolves aren’t as big as Big Mike, more on par with the size of Annette’s wolf. But in no way does that reassure me. They could do serious damage; I wouldn’t win, hell I wouldn’t even put up a decent fight, definitely not without any weapons. Thanks, Tabari.
I don’t let the wolves deter me from getting close to Peter. I hope there’s enough human in Peter’s wolf friends to recognize that I am a friend as well. I kneel beside Peter gingerly, ready to turn and bolt at the first sign of trouble. I know I won’t make it far, but hell, it’s the only plan I’ve got.
Peter is naked and rolled on his side away from me. His skin is clammy and stretching like a live thing is moving right beneath the surface. The bones in his body are trying to reform into wolf anatomy. I watch as his shoulder bone shifts, stretching his human skin. I think it will split open and exposing the sinew of his shoulder. Instead, his own body dislocates the shoulder. The loud pop followed by the howl of Peter is sudden, sharp and deep. I breathe in Peter’s pain and terrifying horror; the dark things stir inside of me.
I clear my mind of thoughts of pleasure and reach out my hand slowly placing it lightly on his feverish skin, his body almost vibrates with intense pain. I think to his wolf, ‘be calm, I am here to help.’
It shouldn’t take this long. I know the first change is the most painful, but this isn’t right, he needs power. I close my eyes, and try to remember what Big Mike had shown me the other day, how to open my Manipura fully to him, to let Peter feed directly from my Chi. For once, my succubus isn’t a complete bitch, and allows me to make the connection easily.
With full access to the energy I hold, Peter’s body begins to shift more quickly. I open my eyes and watch as his bones rearrange, shorten, change or completely disappear. It’s both horrifying and mesmerizing to behold. The pure black pelt that grows from his skin at hyper speeds is absolutely magical. The skull is the last to change, elongating Peter’s chin, mouth and nose to form a wolf snout. His human ears actually move to the top of his head and then sprout up and curve in, making very handsome wolf ears.
The beautiful black wolf lies on his side for only a moment.
“Good Peter, you did wonderfully.”
I have no idea if he can understand what I’m saying.
The Peter wolf shakes his head and stands up. He’s a pretty big fucking wolf. I guess human body weight and wolf body weight do not translate because Peter is almost as large as Big Mike now.
There is nothing but pure dominance, pure Alpha in his stance. The other wolves actually drop their heads a little in deference to Peter. I still don’t understand that. Peter is probably one of the most easygoing, kindest humans I’ve ever known. Yet he stands as a leader here. I guess all leaders don’t have to be assholes; not really my style though.
He turns looking at me; his eyes shine purple- the color of my power, of me. He blinks slowly connecting to the power of the earth. His eyes burn purple once more and then settle back into the green speckled with brown of his true wolf eyes.
I guess I expect to see Peter’s human soul looking back at me through those eyes, and in some ways it is. But it’s the most dangerous parts of the human psyche I see. The thin thread that separates man from beast has been cut. The wolf I see here is a creature of the wild, ruled not by logic but pure instinct.
Peter shakes his head, huffing, and takes off breaking through the brush, his wolf buddies follow behind him quickly. I am left sitting on the ground not exactly knowing what to do. Is my job done here? Is this all the Wolf Mother needed from me?
I hear a howl resonating in the night sky, sounding of joy, knowing instinctively that it’s Peter. Just like that, my best friend is a werewolf.
I’m not ready to leave yet. I don’t know if it’s because I’m caught in the power swirling around me or if I’m being protective of Peter while he’s on his first run. But I get up and turn to the direction all the wolves seem to be going. I set off heedless of the branches and stones under my feet, careful only to protect my face, somewhat. I run, not caring. I laugh and run wild, I run free, the ground seems to disappear under me as I let the magic carry me.
A wolf comes up to me running beside me, we both dodge and dart around trees almost faster than the human eye can see. The wolf is tall but a bit thin, the top of his head coming almost to my shoulder. It’s Tabari. He’s a bit bigger than Annette, still smaller than Big Mike, his pelt is a gorgeous brown mix but the socks on his paws are a shimmering gold, not brown or tan, golden, this is not a natural wolf color, but then, Tabari is not a natural wolf.
We run together as brother as sister, our hearts free caught in the power of the night. I am a child of the Moon Goddess and although this is not my offering, and this power does not resonate on my frequency, being in the midst of it feeds something in me. A time perhaps when all creatures of the night celebrated together, a time before war and division.
A time before The Great Wars. My succubus whispers.
We run in small groups chasing whatever we can find, sometimes one another. I’m not quick enough, playing the prey and get nipped slightly on the back of my thigh, but it’s not bad and my body heals it easily.
Peter chases down a deer scared up from the brush, the other wolves break off from behind him and flank the deer, trapping it. Peter lunges for its hind flank, riding it down to the ground. The rest of the small pack, including Tabari, dive in. The cries of the deer end quickly. Then there is only the smell of fresh blood and the sound of flesh being ripped apart. I feel sick.
I’m a little winded and plant my ass on the ground and lean back on a tree, while Peter and his cohorts feast upon very rare, I like it bloody, deer meat. One lone wolf comes padding into the area, its fur a pretty blend of gray and white. He’s probably been lured by the smell of a fresh kill. The new wolf foolishly tries to get in on the feed. Peter turns from his bloody bounty and attacks the wolf, snapping at the snout of the gray and white wolf. The black fur around Peter’s neck stands on end, his growl downright demonic. It’s the kind of growl that plainly says, mine, and you are not welcome to any. It doesn’t take long for the smaller wolf to submit. Peter forces the wolf to bow low, forcing the lone wolfs snout into the ground, winning in submission.
I think to Peter, sharing is caring.
His head comes up quickly looking directly at me. He huffs once at me, and snaps at the wolf who dared tried to get a bite.
Peter goes back to the kill and begins ripping a chuck of meat off the deer with his powerful jaws. He turns and drops the bloody chunk of meat in front of the wolf he’d just chastised.
Peter looks at me again. I swear he’s giving me an, ‘are you happy now’ look. Maybe he can un
derstand me through the link.
The wolves eat their fill. I’m sure not more than an hour has passed, but there’s only deer carcass left on the ground. I hear a howl come from a distance up ahead. Peter and his friends answer the call, throwing their heads back in a chorus, they take off, breaking back through the forest. They aren’t going to let the food settle or nothing huh? Maybe that’s swimming where you have to wait an hour after you eat.
I get up and go chasing after them. I’m in for the long haul.
It doesn’t take us long to make our way to a clearing, a few acres wide. There’s a huge boulder in the middle of it. Big Mike and Jesse are standing on top of it. Everyone is in wolf form except Big Mike and Jesse. I’m surprised, I thought Jesse wasn’t strong enough to resist the pull of the moon; she’s high in the sky now. Big Mike is still naked; it seems he would’ve changed by now as well.
Then I see it, around Jesse’s neck. God it’s ugly. A mashed and melded together gem; all different types of gems, diamond, emerald, ruby. It’s the gem I saw in the vision that I stripped from the not-wolf’s mind in Valentine’s torture chamber.
Big Mike is standing against the power of the gem that tries to take him, but barely. I look around all the wolves have their heads bowed down to Jesse. I even hear a few whines of submission. I feel the evil of that gem, black magic, dark magic, not-wolf magic. Big Mike is pulling power from his wolves to make a stand.
Jesse is challenging Big Mike for the Pack, using magic. You can’t do that!
Can you?
I step forward ready to put a stop to this. Jesse turns his head to me.
“This is not the business of the Kindred, this is Pack business. And I’m taking control of it.” I halt my steps. Ever since I became Grigori, it seems my hands are tied at every turn.
“I don’t answer to the call of the Moon Goddess or the Wolf Mother. Don’t you see this is our destiny? You sing about freedom but are beholden to them. You, the largest pack in North America, are mine and I will lead you into a new era. The old ways must die,” Jesse continues.
The gem glows brighter. It’s a spell, a very strong spell. I’m still in shock seeing him do this to Big Mike of all people. The balls on the fucker.
When I gathered with the wolves at the Big Bad Wolf, the air was filled with the magic of the Moon Goddess. I felt it on my skin, in my soul. I no longer feel her presence. The moon has no power here, no control. Her power is not making a connection to her children in the presence of the not-wolf gem; it’s causing some sort of interference to the natural order of things.
It’s as if she’s become a snow covered moon.
“I don’t want to kill you old man, so bow to me!” Jesse shouts.
I step forward. Fuck it. I hate Jesse, I’m not going to let him destroy this pack, it’s one of the few good things in my life. I know what the wrath of the Kindred feels like, I can deal.
Tabari grabs my arm gently in his jaw. This isn’t Kindred business, he’s it saying plainly.
Big Mike falls to his knees suddenly, this struggle has been going since long before we’d made it to the clearing and he’s at his end.
What can I do? What can I do? My mind tries to find a strategy, a plan. I cannot let this happen. I should’ve tried harder to find Jesse’s connection to the not-wolves. Maybe I would be able to attack Jesse with the reasonable doubt I have in a perfect world, but I’m a new Grigori, a Grigori without favor.
I pray to the Moon Goddess, I pray to the Wolf Mother, guide me please.
“Please,” I whisper.
I swear snow begins to fall, but I don’t feel the coldness of it hitting my skin. It’s chilly but definitely not cold enough to snow. The ground around me, the pelts of the wolves bowed in submission around me, everything around me is instantly covered in the snow, that can’t really be snow.
A huge ghost werewolf, twice the size of Big Mike, appears out of nowhere and begins to slowly walk towards me.
She’s answered my prayer, “the prayers of all my children.”
A physical manifestation of the Wolf Mother, white fur, but gold too, as if it’s been sprinkled with the finest of fairy dust. Her eyes filled with power shimmer pure gold, rippling like a pool of molten metal. She is just as beautiful as I remember and just as terrifying.
“What can I do?” I speak aloud still not sure exactly how this mental to mental communication with an ancient wolf goddess of legend really works.
“Peter is not of the pack, he is not under the abomination’s pull.”
She speaks but her muzzle doesn’t move. I’m actually glad for it, I think it would make this conversation infinitely more bizarre if her wolf mouth moved and human words came out. She does not slow her gait. I can’t help but hold my breath as her ghost form runs right through me. My body tingles, but that’s it, I was expecting a shock of pain, the feeling of being flooded with alien wolf power, or something more dramatic than a tingle, but I’m fine.
I look around. No one else has seen the Wolf Mother, no one else sees the snow that I’m now fairly certain isn’t real snow.
I’m not quite sure how much time has really passed.
I reach for the link I share with Peter. He’s my wolf, mine, not Big Mike’s, not under the pull of the not-wolf gem. I can feel him but only barely. Peter is on the other side of the clearing. He doesn’t understand why the wolves can’t draw power from the moon and earth anymore, the commune has been broken. But where they are trapped, at least he can move freely. I feel the anger of Peter’s wolf at this magic that has been brought to their holy place. I feel his rage hot and raw in the link between us.
I open my Manipura, letting him feed directly from my Chi and send every scrap of power I hold down the line to Peter. I send every bit, ripping it from my own Chakra. I drain myself dry, my body functions slowing, some stopping completely. I hope this fucking works. I fall to my knees as my body loses the ability to even stand.
“You know what? I will kill you anyway.” Jesse pulls a gun from the back of his waistband.
“Peter!” I yell at the top of my lungs.
Jesse turns to me, pointing the gun in my direction. I feel no fear as I look him in his eyes. A head shot placed correctly could kill me, if it severs the link to my central cortex. Yet, I feel no fear only, peace. That maybe I will have an honorable death after all.
Peter leaps in the air from behind Jesse. He knocks Jesse off the boulder riding him to the ground. Peter grabs Jesse by the throat, shaking him. He sets Jesse down to get a better grip and snaps his neck bone.
Jesse’s head rolls to its side at an impossible angle, I’m not really sure if Jesse’s head is even still attached to his body. His lifeless eyes stare out of the skull, full of disbelief.
The rest of the wolves fall on Jesse and start ripping him to shreds, much like what I’d seen some of them do to the deer. I guess Jesse meat, extra bloody extra rare, is on the menu, yuck. I’m pretty sure they are eating him, maybe not. But I know it’ll be hard to find body parts in the morning.
I let myself collapse fully to the ground on my side.
Tabari pads over and I watch as he starts changing back into a human form. Light shimmers brightly from him as he stands on two legs once again, not really a werewolf shift.
He’s fully clothed in the jeans, brown T-shirt and hiker boots he had on earlier, I’m pretty sure wolves can’t shift back fully clothed either.
He kneels beside me and rolls me over onto my back, I feel so weak, blinking is even hard to do. I just want to sleep.
“Jae, you are so stupid sometimes, and I love you for it. Ready for some good ol’ fashion EM field?”
Before I can object to the crazy Magi’s idea, his eyes begin to glow and the smell of ozone engulfs me. The power begins to trickle in, filling me easily. I don’t attempt to make my own connection to the field, content that Tabari knows what he’s doing this time, and he knows when to fucking stop.
It doesn’t feel at all like he’s cook
ing me from the inside out. Avoiding Tabari the cooker is officially the high point of my night.
My thoughts and mind become clouded, I feel myself wanting to slip into unconsciousness. All in all, that’s not too bad of an idea. I could use a nice long rest and slipping into a coma is the only way it seems I’ll get it.
“No Jae, you can’t pass out. This is why it’s not a good idea to feed anyone raw power too often; it actually burns out some of your synapses, it takes time for them to repair and they heal almost human slow.”
I force my eyes open, they feel like they have weights attached to the lids. I need a fucking break, isn’t there some sort of Kindred union rep I can call and complain to? But my goddess the power fills me, rushing to my Chakra, powering my body once again.
“That’s enough, I feel ok now.” I whisper, sitting up.
I ignore how my arm shakes as I put my weight on it to push away from the ground to sit at least. Baby steps.
Tabari slowly stops the current and I concentrate on letting it pass through me without latching onto it.
He stands up and holds his arm out to me, I clasp it and pull myself up. I’m a little light headed, but none the worse for wear.
“Whatever that gem was spelled for is strong, I wasn’t under its compulsion but I couldn’t change back from a wolf either. I thought I was trapped for good. Shit.” Tabari is horrified by the idea.
No more Mr. Most Powerful Magi, just Tabari the weirdly colored wolf.
I stand beside him and watch the wolves in their frenzy all trying to take a bite out of Jesse. There’s definitely not enough Jesse to go around. Funny, we hadn’t named getting his head bit off in our hundred and one ways to kill Jesse game the other night.
Most of the other wolves are standing about howling to the moon.
Big Mike stands finally, still completely in the buff, the man has not an ounce of shame.
“Brothers! Sisters! Peter is my heir! He shall be your new Amarok, and he shall lead you when the wild calls me home!” The howls of agreement are deafening.