All That I Am (Men of Monroe Book 1)

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All That I Am (Men of Monroe Book 1) Page 24

by Rachel Brookes


  I opened and closed my mouth, looking like a goldfish as I tried to formulate a sentence. Aunt Sasha!

  “You good?” he asked, before leaning down and brushing his lips against my temple. “

  I nodded and smiled up at him, then I got ready to reply, but my words were stolen when I heard my name called in a gruff voice behind me.

  “Sasha?”

  “Christ, here we go,” Ben muttered under his breath. “Remember to breathe.”

  What the hell did that mean? He stepped away and disappeared into the kitchen with the rest of his family, and I took his advice, sucked in and slowly turned around.

  I came face to face with an older version of Ben; same eyes, same height, same demeanor. It was like looking at Ben in thirty years. I watched, completely stunned and overwhelmed as he crossed the space between us and pulled me away from Ben. Before I could say, think, or feel anything, he wrapped me in his arms and pulled me tight against his chest. I’d never met this man before, but my head told me to fall into his embrace. I pressed myself into his chest, and my cheek rested over his heart while one hand cupped the back of my head and the other wrapped around me. My head swam with flashbacks of being in this exact embrace with my father. With everything that had been piling up over the past couple of weeks, I’d missed the embrace of a parent, so I drank it in.

  Reluctantly, I pulled away and took a step back. His eyes bounced over my face and he nodded his head slowly.

  “I heard what’s been going on darlin’. My boy told me bits and pieces. I know your Dad’s gone and your Mom isn’t around, but what I also know is that a girl needs a dad hug every now and then. So, whenever you need one, you come to me.”

  A lump formed in my throat, and I sucked in a desperate breath as my eyes started to water. I nodded, as the words I wanted to say jammed in my throat. This man was a stranger. I didn’t even know his name, but he’d given me something that only one other person had given me before: the hug of a father. He gave me another soft look before he turned around and started walking away.

  “Wait.” I found my voice, then he stopped and looked back over his shoulder. I moved to him, and when I was in his space, I rose onto my toes and softly kissed his cheek. “I’ve tried to forget what those kind of hugs felt like, but yours is one I’ll want to remember.”

  “Happy to hear that. Now, let’s go and see my son.”

  The moment we appeared in the kitchen, Ben stalked toward us. He looked between his dad and me, then he grabbed my hand and stepped into my space. I knew we had an audience; I could feel everyone’s eyes on us, but he didn’t seem to care.

  “You good?”

  I smiled big before responding quietly. “I love your dad, and I don’t even know his name.”

  He shook his head in amusement. “Ron, but everyone calls him Ronnie.”

  “Ronnie is a such a cute name,” I said softly, my heart squeezing.

  A breathtaking smile hit his face, and he linked his fingers with mine. “Let me introduce you to everyone else.”

  All the nerves I’d forgotten came swarming back full force. I squeezed Ben’s hand tightly and the look he gave me hit me harder than the nerves. It was a look of pride, ownership, and excitement. Like this moment we were about to share meant the world to him. I didn’t have time to process what that meant, because I now had six people staring at me with different degrees of smiles on their faces.

  Ben wrapped his arm around my shoulder and I stood frozen.

  “You’ve already met Mom, Dad, Dee, and Joseph,” he said, and I nodded and smiled at each of them. “The gorgeous girl is my niece, Ava, and the idiot wearing the wrong team colors is Dee’s husband, Terry. Everyone, this is Sasha.”

  “Oh my goodness, Honey, your dress is stunning.” That came from his mom.

  “Mom, I want her shoes.” That came from Ava.

  “Why do girls always talk about shoes? Do you like football?” That came from Joseph.

  “Nice meeting you, Sasha. Grab a beer, take a seat, cause the games about to start.” That came from Terry.

  “See, that wasn’t so bad.” That came from Ben.

  I replied by giving him a huge smile and shaking my head. It really wasn’t as crazy as I thought. But then again, I didn’t really have much experience to base it on.

  His eyes shimmered with something I couldn’t put my finger on, and he focused on my mouth. He took a step toward me, once again ignoring everyone in the room. To my left, I swear I heard a gasp, and to my right a giggle, but I couldn’t be sure. All I was concentrating on was this stunning man, looking at me like I’d just given him the world.

  “What?” I whispered, getting overwhelmed by the intensity of his gaze.

  “There it is. The smile.”

  My heart burst into a thousand magical pieces.

  And my smile grew even bigger.

  “How can I help?” I asked, announcing my arrival in the kitchen after deciding to have a break from watching football.

  Dee and Ava both looked up from what they were doing. Dee greeted me with a huge smile, and Ava looked at me shyly.

  “I’m about to get these ribs in the oven, but if you could help Ava make some French Onion Dip that would be great.”

  I nodded and made my way to Ava, who watched me closely. I was about to ask her what I could do, but I was interrupted by a familiar voice coming from the front door, followed by another familiar voice.

  “What’s this? Benjamin, you forgot to invite me to your party.”

  “I see Sassy’s car out front so she forgot to invite me too.”

  Two things immediately came to mind.

  What were they doing here? And why were they together?

  “Who is that?” Ava asked, looking between her mother and me.

  “Sasha, we have visitors.” Ben’s amused voice floated into the kitchen.

  Dee, Ava, and I stepped out of the kitchen and moved back into the living room, just as Crazy John was shaking Ronnie’s hand and Joseph was looking at Gigi in her bright orange matching tracksuit set with wide eyes.

  “Sassy, I made a new friend at the diner the other day. Gigi girl invited me over for cake, then we started watching Passions. Remember that show? Little Timmy. One episode turned into five, then I looked outside, saw your car, and we thought we’d pop over. So, here we are.”

  So many things in his statement made no sense. Did he just call her Gigi girl?

  “We’re going to go out on the town one night. Johnny boy is going to be my wingman and find me a good man,” Gigi said eagerly, and then to my horror, nudged Ben’s mom in the ribs and nodded at her, as if she was saying “you get my drift.”

  Johnny Boy? Wingman?

  “Yeah Gigi girl, I’ll find you a good man. Maybe Ben’s folks can come out with us. We can have a night out on the town. What do you two think?”

  At this stage, Crazy John hadn’t actually been introduced yet, but he was already planning a night out with them so he could find Gigi a man. I looked at Ben, silently pleading with him to do something.

  He came through for me, but with laughter hanging on his words. “Mom, Dad, this is Crazy John and Gigi. Gigi is my neighbor, and Crazy John is Sasha’s family, Crazy John and Gigi, this is Ronnie and Dianne.”

  “Good to meet you. We’re all family now, seeing how these two are setting up house,” Crazy John announced, jerking his thumb in the direction of Ben and me. “We’ll all be sharing Christmas and Thanksgiving soon. My girl is stubborn, but your boy is strong. He’ll crack her soon enough. Thinking he’s already cracked her pretty good, she just needs to let those fuckin’ walls fall.”

  I choked on the breath I’d just taken, and shot another “help” look at Ben. He did nothing but laugh.

  “Um, there are young people around here. You might want to stop the cussing.”

  “They grew up hearing Ben cuss, so they’re used to it.”

  Great, now Ben’s family was on Crazy John’s side.

  “You
know what?” Gigi announced, focusing on me.

  Oh god! I did not want to know.

  “I haven’t seen you over here lately. I mean in the morning.” Then she focused on Ben’s mom, and my stomach dropped to the floor.

  My eyes shot to the ceiling as I began to say a prayer that she wouldn’t . . . nope, she did.

  “I first met Sasha when she answered the door wearing your boy’s shirt. Such a cute little thing. Had no clue who I was. We bonded over chocolate cake and Benjamin’s abs.”

  Ben, Ronnie, and Terry burst out laughing, while my face flamed with embarrassment.

  “How about we get the food ready?” I stammered, desperate to end this conversation. “Suddenly, I’m hungry. Ladies, shall we?”

  Dee was still laughing when we made our way back into the kitchen, and Ava giggled every now and then. This was hands down the weirdest day ever.

  I crossed the kitchen and Ava shyly watched my every step. She was a gorgeous teenage girl, who I assumed was about fifteen. She had long brown hair with a natural wave and chocolate brown eyes.

  “Let’s make this French Onion Dip. What can I do?”

  “Well, we make it from scratch, so can you chop up the onions?”

  “I can do that.”

  I grabbed two onions and Ava handed me a knife. I went about chopping up the onions while hoping that my eyes didn’t start watering in the process. I concentrated hard on the job and didn’t notice Ava staring at me the whole time. I also didn’t notice the soft look on Dee’s face when she looked over at the two of us standing side my side.

  “You’re the first lady Uncle Ben has introduced us to,” Ava said beside me. “Me and Joseph thought he was gay.”

  “Ava!” Dee clipped, with an amused undertone.

  “It’s true. My friends mom’s always say how hot he is, and how they ask him out on dates, but he always says no. He never has girlfriends. Come on, Mom, you know you’ve thought it.”

  “Your Uncle Ben is definitely not gay,” I revealed, and I felt my cheeks flame immediately. I was still trying to come to terms with everything happening around me, so I didn’t even think about what I said or what I had insinuated. It was only when I looked at Dee and saw a knowing smirk hit her lips that I realized the can of worms I’d opened. “I just meant that, uh, well, ah, crap. You know what I mean.”

  “I know Uncle Ben has sex,” Ava stated matter-of-factly. “He’s hot. I’ve heard ladies talk about him, and I even heard a lady at the hairdresser say she wanted to lick him. That was kind of disturbing, seeing he’s my uncle.”

  My eyes shot wide and I looked at Dee for help, but she gave me nothing.

  “Uh, yeah honey, he does have sex. But I meant he isn’t gay because I’m in his life, and the way I’m in his life means he’s not gay.”

  “I knew it,” Ava whispered, and her eyes shimmered as she gave me a full-blown, heart-stopping smile.

  I didn’t have time to try and work out exactly what Ava knew. I was still trying to work out what I meant when I said I was in his life.

  I needed wine. A lot of wine.

  Ten minutes later, I walked into the living room carrying the French onion dip with a packet of crisps lodged under my arm. Like magnets, Ben’s eyes came to mine and I gave him a small smile as I walked toward him and placed the dip and crisps on the table.

  Ben’s hand shot out and grabbed mine, and he pulled me down beside him on the couch. Chatter started around us, and everyone frantically grabbed at the food on the table. I stared into space, trying to come to terms with the craziness of the day. He squeezed my hand, then I blinked out of my trance and shifted on the couch to face him. His intense gaze ran over every inch of my face, and his hand cupped my cheek. Gently, and without a care of our audience, his thumb swept over my bottom lip. It was intimate. It was precious. It was the calm to my chaos.

  “You okay?” he whispered, leaning in so he was the only thing I saw.

  I nodded.

  He smirked, and I sucked in a breath. “I know you’re not, but we will talk about it when Dee and Ava aren’t watching us like hawks.”

  My eyes darted from his, and sure enough Dee and Ava were sitting across the room watching with wide eyes. Dee didn’t hide her smile, but Ava’s eyes moved straight to the television after she was caught.

  “Aunt Sasha, who is your team?” Joseph’s excited voice distracted me, and my heart stammered once again when he called me Aunt Sasha.

  “I don’t really have a team,” I admitted casually.

  His eyes bugged wide and his mouth dropped open. It was obvious straightaway that I’d just made my first mistake with Joseph, and it didn’t take long for me to make my second.

  “To be honest, I’ve never really watched football.”

  “You don’t have a team,” he gasped. “You don’t watch football?”

  I felt Ben jerk beside me as he silently laughed.

  “I know, Buddy, she’s lost her mind,” Crazy John piped up. “She thinks there are teams called the Denver Dolphins and the Texas Cowboys. If I didn’t love her like my own, I’d throw her to the curb.”

  “The Denver Dolphins?” Joseph laughed, loud. “Aunt Sasha, you really have lost your mind.”

  Oh great, now Crazy John was influencing the youth. I glared at him, and all he did was wink.

  “Uncle Ben, you need to buy Aunt Sasha a Patriots jersey. I mean get your phone out right now and buy her one. We are a Patriots family, even though we don’t live in New England,” he said with pride. “And you will be coming to every single one of our football Sundays. I can’t wait for you to watch the Super Bowl. Uncle Ben, I’m going to have to sit beside Aunt Sasha so I can tell her the rules. Crazy John, you need to come too, and Gig’s, you too if you like football.”

  “I like any sport that has men running around in tight pants. I’ll be here.”

  I dropped my face into my hands and I couldn’t hold it back. I burst out laughing at the craziness of my life, and laughed loud, to the point that my stomach ached. I’d freaked out at the thought of meeting his family, but in the space of an hour, I had been called Aunt Sasha, was getting a Patriots Jersey, was being taught all about football, confirmed Ben wasn’t gay, and my family had connected with Ben’s.

  “And there is the laugh,” Ben said softly beside me.

  I turned to him, still laughing.

  “Fuck, it’s good to hear that.”

  Seriously, Sundays were freaking fantastic.

  35

  BEN

  Sitting in my living room, with Sasha tucked up against me and sleeping easy, made every fucked up thing happening around us worth it. After watching football, and Sasha being asked a million and one questions by Joseph while Ava observed silently, she’d nuzzled in beside me and surprisingly kissed my jaw, then she wrapped her arms around my waist, and in less than five minutes she passed out.

  Feeling Dee’s eyes burning into me, I shifted my gaze from the game to her. The look she gave me, and the fact her eyes flashed to Sasha before meeting mine, told me she liked what she saw. This was a big deal to her. To the whole family. After years of going to family shit solo, I’d finally introduced a woman into the fold. This said huge things to my family, because they all understood what it meant to me. I fucked around, I’d had many women in my bed, but not one of them had been included in Sunday football, and none of them had been introduced to Joseph and Ava. Family was sacred, and I refused to bring someone that wasn’t something to me into the mix. This was a declaration that Sasha was someone to me, and I’d planned on her being my someone for a long fucking time.

  “We’re going to head home. Kids have school tomorrow,” Dee whispered, and she received cries of protest from both Ava and Joseph.

  Shifting on the couch, I looked down at Sasha and took a minute to admire the beauty I called my own. The deeper I got, the more determined I became. My patience was quickly coming to an end, and I knew the line between black and white was getting blurry with ev
ery day that passed. I drank in her soft features, memorized her pink, pouty lips, and enjoyed the feel of her relaxed body against mine. I just wanted the shit circling us to end, so I could enjoy this feeling forever, but in this moment, all we had was now.

  “Sash,” I said softly, my warm breath caressing the side of her face. “Dee and the kids are heading home.”

  Slowly, her eyes fluttered open and she gifted me with a sated smile, before burrowing in closer and tightening her arm around my waist. “You’re warm and comfy. Don’t make me move.”

  It took her about five seconds to become aware of her surroundings, and slowly her body became rigid. I couldn’t help but smile big while I waited for what I knew was coming. Her head shot off my shoulder, her arm slid off my stomach, and she looked up at me with wide, horror-filled eyes.

  “Why did you let me fall asleep?” she gasped, hitting my stomach and sitting upright. “Did Joseph and Ava see me lying all over their uncle?”

  “You fell asleep halfway through the last game, so yeah, they saw you.”

  “Oh my god.” She dropped her forehead to my shoulder.

  I chuckled. “Are you going to stop freaking out long enough to say goodnight to them?”

  She blinked up at me as if she was trying to make sense of what I’d said. “I’m not freaking out, Benjamin—” She looked at Dee. “Uh, what’s his middle name?”

  “Peter.” Dee laughed in response.

  She twisted back around to me. “I’m not freaking out, Benjamin Peter Hunt. I am simply concerned about making a good first impression. Something you clearly don’t understand, seeing how you came crashing into my life and didn’t take no for an answer.”

  I gave her a shit-eating grin, and I knew I was stoking her fire. I loved seeing this side of her; the sassy as fuck, spitfire, take a man by the balls and twist him till he cried for surrender, Sasha. “I made a great fuckin’ impression on you. I know I have because you’ve been in my bed, and you have absolutely no complaints.

  She rolled her eyes. “You are way too damn cocky.”

 

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