by C. J. Duggan
He laughed then, the warm familiar one I loved to hear.
“Could have been worse, there could have been gravy.”
I sighed, my attention moving towards the mess that had been dumped on the floor.
I retreated for a dustpan and headed back in, ice broken by, of all things, a bowl of chips.
Chapter Thirty-One
“Seriously, what is the point of going to the Point?” Stan whinged.
“Well, do you have a better idea, lover boy?” Sean smashed the billiard balls with a satisfying crack.
Stan shrugged. “I don’t know, just thought we could try something different, that’s all.”
“McLean’s Beach?” someone chucked in.
Sean faked snoring.
“How about the Falls?” added Toby, as he flicked through the jukebox’s song selection.
“What? Hang out with all the deviants?” Stan scoffed.
“I don’t know, Stan, sounds like your kind of scene.”
He flipped Toby the finger.
Toby grinned wickedly before turning back to his task with a shrug. “There’s good swimming there, that’s all, it’s hot enough, it’s just an idea.”
“Swimming at the Falls, eh?” Sean rubbed his soft stubble in deep thought. “Why not?”
“Whatever, can we wait for Ellie to knock off work first?"
“Aw, don’t worry Romeo, we won’t leave without Juliet.” Sean grabbed Stan and made kissy noises. Stan pushed him over.
I couldn’t help but smile at their banter as I gathered the last of the chips from the floor; my smile slowly faded when I caught Toby staring at me.
He was leaning back against the glass display of the jukebox, his arms folded. “So, you in?”
Play it cool, play it cool.
I shrugged. “I guess.”
***
Whoops and cheers echoed down the dirt path as the boys raced each other towards the secluded swimming hole down the bottom of a rocky incline. I could hear the distant thundering of the waterfall clearly, even though it was still a fair distance off.
Ellie and I lagged behind as we climbed out of Ringer’s car, shaking our heads as we secretly wondered who were the teenagers among us.
“Are we okay?” Ellie asked as we shut the boot and carried our borrowed towels.
I bumped her shoulder. “Of course.”
I could make out her brilliant white smile in the moonlight.
As we neared the path, our attention turned toward the slamming of a car door, where Toby stood leaning against his ute.
“You not swimming?” Ellie asked.
“Nah, I’m just the ideas man.”
“Cool, well, I better go make sure these fools don’t kill themselves.” Ellie flashed me another smile and ran after the boys.
Toby pushed off from the door, hitched himself up onto the back of his tray and made a place on one of the rugs. He casually patted the space next to him, and I attempted not to smile too broadly at the relief of such a small gesture.
“Unless you wanted to swim?”
Before he could even finish his sentence, I chucked the towel into the tray and climbed up and over to sit next to him.
“I guess that’s a no then?”
“It was a terrible idea, I can’t believe they’re all down there.” I laughed.
Toby lay back, linking his hands behind his head and closed his eyes.
“A terrible idea, or a brilliant idea?” He peeked an eye open before closing it again with a smile.
I was suddenly very aware of how alone we were. The distant yells and cascading water were a million miles away, or so it felt.
I picked at the frayed edge of the rug. “Thanks for fixing my bike.”
“Oh,” he smirked, “that.”
“Yeah. I’m back on the road again.”
“Yeah, I was kind of pissed at my dad,” he said, his eyes still closed.
“Why?”
“He didn’t ask me. He just thought he’d do me a favour and deliver it for me.”
“Well, that was nice of him.”
“I guess. It’s just … I wanted to deliver it myself.”
Relief flooded me. In a moment of panic, I had feared the worst, that he was avoiding me. But he wasn’t.
“Well, it was a good effort to fix it while you were hungover.”
Toby’s eyes opened as he frowned at my words; he straightened.
“The boys said you were hungover today.”
He still looked confused. “Oh! I didn’t fix the bike today.”
Now it was me who looked confused.
Toby fiddled with the frayed edge of the rug, his hand close to mine as he spoke, not looking at me. “I fixed the bike the day you gave it to me, Tess.”
My frowned deepened. “Why didn’t you tell me? You know … give it back?”
He looked at me now. “Remember I said, ‘what if I didn’t want to fix your bike?’”
I remembered. “Yes …”
“I didn’t want to fix it, because I liked driving you places.”
I stared at him, unable to believe it was true.
“Not that I was the most reliable taxi service.” He rested his elbows on his bent knees.
“Oh, I don’t know,” I said, “you were there when it counted. Saved me from perishing on the Horseshoe Bend. Took me on my first drive to the Point to watch the fireworks, it was only last night …”
His eyes flicked up to mine as I broke off at the last two words. Last night.
“Yeah, last night,” he repeated.
“Guess you won’t be drinking Coronas again anytime soon.”
The corner of his mouth curved up. “Not if I can help it, no.”
He regretted drinking the Coronas; I wondered if he regretted anything else as well.
I shifted to sit next to him and leaned against the cabin rear window.
Don’t jump in the deep end, Tess, play it cool.
Pulling back and taking it slow was good advice. That’s what I decided to do.
“Am I just the rebound girl?” I asked. That didn’t last long.
Toby stiffened, his scowl deep and so penetrating I had to look away from it.
“What makes you say that?”
Now I was uneasy. Me and my big mouth.
“Because we are sitting in probably the same place you sat a week ago when you broke up with your girlfriend.”
I regretted it as soon as the words left my mouth. I could feel Toby’s anger pouring off him in waves. Suddenly going for a swim seemed like a great idea.
“I see,” was his cold response.
I cleared my throat, finding myself utterly fascinated with the edge of the rug I fiddled with. I couldn’t take my eyes off it, couldn’t look at him.
“I’m just saying that you don’t have to worry about me expecting anything more. I know last night was just a bit of fun, and that if you had any regrets today, to not worry about it. It is what it is, and I’m cool about it.”
Stupid words. Stupid words coming out of my stupid mouth.
I expected his shoulders to slump in relief or his icy exterior to thaw, but it didn’t. He seemed more agitated as he ran a hand aggressively through his hair.
“Is that what you think?” he said. “That I regretted last night?”
I looked at him then, trying to hide the hurt in my expression.
“Don’t you?”
He sat up straight and grabbed my hand to stop it from fraying the edge of the rug.
“I may have been buzzed last night, but I remember everything. I can’t promise you that I won’t want to drive you home, or kiss you like crazy again. Because I will. I do.” His eyes shifted towards my mouth and then back to meet my eyes.
“I like you, Tess.”
I was supposed to act cool and indifferent and hold back from falling in too deep right now.
Take it slow, Tess. It’s good advice – take it slow!
I kissed Toby for the second time
. I pushed him to sit back against the window as I straddled his lap, feeding the hunger, living for the moment. We weren’t coy and polite this time; Toby’s hand slipped under my shirt, his fingers skimming my bare belly, his mouth catching my exhales as I cupped his face and tilted his head to the side for better access to his lush mouth.
Toby nipped playfully along my neck, which made me giggle. He grasped the curve of my knees and drew me closer. I felt the unmistakable evidence of his desire pressed between my legs as his hands slid up my bare ribs and pushed under my bra to touch my breasts. I rocked slowly on his lap pressing into his touch, never feeling more alive than with the new sensations that tingled in foreign places. Never before had I wanted Scott or any other boy to touch me as I wanted Toby touching me now. I relished in the brush of his work-roughened fingers gliding over my skin and the way he moved under me. His hands suddenly bunched my skirt up in his fists as his tongue filled my mouth to duel my own.
I braced myself for the hand that was sliding along my thigh, daring to delve between my legs to explore me like no other had. But just as his finger pulled the elastic of material he froze and panic shot through me at the thought that all of a sudden he had come to his senses, that he thought it – us – was a bad idea. I breathed hard, tried to catch my breath as his head tilted to the side, listening for something. That’s when we heard it, the incoming laughter and voices of an approaching stampede of swimmers.
I slid off Toby’s lap and worked at adjusting my skirt and fixing my hair. Toby had a far worse problem as he pulled on his shirt to hang over the large tent in his shorts. We sat apart and cast knowing smiles to one another as we both tried to gather our breaths and look casual, like we were just hanging out, not dry humping in the back of his ute.
Toby looked around and feigned surprise at the disheveled, soaking figures that approached.
“Back already?”
“Tobias! That was the worst idea you have ever had.” Sean shivered.
“I take it you didn’t have fun, then?”
“Ffffucking ffffreezing,” he stuttered.
Toby flashed a grin towards me. “I guess we had a better time?”
I blushed and glanced away.
A better time? Oh yeah we did.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Mum and Dad gave me Monday and Tuesday off to make up for my work-filled weekend.
They said I couldn’t work seven days a week, even though they did and they still wanted me to have some fun this summer because I was working so hard. It made me feel a bit guilty considering I was telling them so many white lies lately about where I was and who I was with. The last thing I wanted was to smash the illusion of being the perfect daughter, especially given my extracurricular activities with a certain gorgeous twenty-two year old who could kiss like no one else.
Ellie’s ongoing advice played on my mind even though I was convinced that I wasn’t Toby’s rebound girl seeing as he obviously had some feelings for me.
He said he liked me, and he had fixed my bike ages ago and that was when he was still with Angela. Ellie thought that was a major development.
I thought the mere fact I had kissed Toby twice was an epic development.
But Ellie still wanted me to take a step back, which meant no accidentally going past his work and ‘bumping’ into him and no joint daytime trips mid-week with the Onslow Boys, (which I thought ludicrous and unfair).
“Trust me, Tess! Haven’t you heard the old saying treat ’em mean to keep ’em keen? The more unavailable you seem, the more he’ll want you.”
“That sounds like playing games to me.”
“You’ll thank me when he’s pawing over you at the weekend, begging for your time.”
Talk about confusing advice. If not a tad hypocritical.
Apparently the boys had gone water skiing mid-week and McLean’s Beach Friday night, and with the view of ‘playing it cool’, I didn’t go to either and now Saturday lunch and well into Saturday night, Toby was a no show. Great plan, Ellie.
I gave her my best ‘not happy’ look.
“Don’t worry, they’ll be here,” Ellie reassured me.
And the Onslow Boys did rock up. At least Stan and Sean did. No Toby, though. Ellie gave me a worried look, and I went back to the kitchen. Obviously, ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ was more like, ‘out of sight, out of mind’. As I dumped dirty dishes in the sink, I vowed never to take Ellie’s advice again.
“What’s your problem?” Amy glared as dirty dishwater splashed her in my dumping fury. I stormed out the back to kick a milk crate across the cement and slumped on to the back step to take a few breaths. I was angry at the world, at Toby, but mostly at myself.
Maybe I was the rebound girl.
At Sunday dinner service, when Toby was a no show again, doubt rose in me. Apparently the Onslow Boys had gone fishing, which was just Jim-dandy, but a whole week had gone by and the buzz from last weekend was quickly wearing off.
“You stress too much, I haven’t exactly seen a heap of Stan this weekend either,” Ellie said.
“You mean aside from your mid-week catch ups and yesterday and today? That’s not classified as ‘a heap’?”
“Not for our standards.”
I really didn’t give a crap about what their standards were, I was too busy feeling sorry for myself as I sipped on my Sunday night after-work staff drink. I hit the heavy stuff tonight. Double shot raspberry lemonade; yeah, I was depressed.
“You may not think it now, but in time you’ll thank me for this.”
I just grunted into my syrupy lemonade. The weekend was over. I felt like a little lap dog waiting for the door to open, waiting for the boys to come waltzing in. Ellie had tried to find out more info from Stan about their whereabouts and if they were coming in, but they must have been out of range. We couldn’t even grill Chris, who was absent from his usual weekend shift. He wasn’t out bonding with the boys; instead, he had taken a break to go to the city and stay with his nan and Adam.
Adam. I wished Adam were here. Ellie was sapping my energy with an entire summer devoted to her. I needed a buffer.
I nearly knocked my drink over at the sound of the door; I whipped my head around so fast it threatened to snap off my neck. A lone figure walked through. Stan. My shoulders slumped as Ellie brightened.
“Hey, you!” She beamed, swiveling in his direction.
His smile was warm and authentic, his eyes lit up when he saw her and there was no doubt how he felt about Ellie. There was no guarded, unreadable, broody expression on Stan’s face. He was an open book; they both were.
Ellie flung her arms around his neck and kissed him. He held her, causing Ellie’s feet to hover off the ground.
Stan winced. “Ah, Ellie watch my sunburn.”
He was noticeably flushed, and Ellie pulled back his collar with a gasp.
“Stanley Remington, you deserve a right arse kicking.”
I shook my head. “Boys and their inability to rub sun screen on each other.”
“Believe me, it’s not worth the hassle.” He cringed as he sat down.
“I can see that.” I eyed him skeptically.
“So where is everyone?” Ellie asked innocently.
“Home, I guess, big day.”
Stan looked beat. A combination of drinking and sunstroke was nasty indeed. I wondered if Toby had suffered the same fate? He wouldn’t burn like Stan because of his beautiful olive complexion, but I was appeased by the fact that they had had a big day and that was the reason they didn’t come in tonight. But still. Stan had; he would have walked on fire to get to Ellie. My heart spiked with jealousy at how their relationship had developed.
Stan and Ellie dropped me off at home, early even for a Sunday night, on what had to have been the most anti-climactic weekend of the summer. With no Onslow Boys and no Chris to hold a lock-in, the bar had closed an hour early and so there I was, sitting in my room all before midnight. My dad had even stirred to get a drink and s
eemed utterly amazed I was home already. At least that would make me look good, I thought.
I checked my emails knowing there would be nothing from Ellie. Her emails became less and less frequent these days. Plus, she was no doubt in Stan’s bungalow right now sponging him down with aloe vera cream.
Old faithful Adam, however, sat in my inbox, which made me smile no matter what my mood.
To: tessmcgee
Guess who can finger knit? Jealous much? Yeah you should be!
Hey I will finger knit you a scarf, I think if I start now it should be ready for winter in about 4 years’ time…. Watch this space!
So what’s happening McGee?? Chris is here but he won’t dish the dirt, he is such a killjoy. I wonder when Mum and Dad are going to tell him he’s adopted?
Maybe this Christmas?? Hand over his Bruce Springsteen’s Greatest hits CD with a P.S…You’re adopted!
Live to hope.
Sender: Adam I can jump puddles Henderson
To: Adam I can jump puddles Henderson
Sorry dude! There is no mistaking your family resemblance. Brothers to the bone! If anything, I suspect you were cloned from the same petri dish, aside from the whole serious broody thing (Don’t tell him I said that).
If you can’t manage the adopted angle how about dropped on his head as a baby? That might explain a few things. But then again you might have been dropped on your head as a baby too? Which in any case would also explain a few things.
Like ah Finger knitting??? What the?
Sender: tessmcgee
To: tessmcgee
People are afraid of what they don’t understand Tess. Finger knitters everywhere have been suffering from the prejudice for centuries. I have to say I am a little disappointed in you.
Considering I fell off a billiard table recently I think I will avoid the whole dropped on head topic, it might back fire.
What are you doing home from work?
Sender: Adam I can jump puddles Henderson
I hit reply. I wanted to tell him about my horrid weekend, about Ellie’s boy theory which I was seriously starting to doubt. I wanted to tell him each scenario and every painstaking analysis I had all week. But in order to do that, first I would have to tell him about the boy. Something I had been avoiding and something I couldn’t do via email.