by Dannika Dark
A lot.
Kane had fantasized about what it would feel like to run his bare hands all over a woman’s body. The sensitive skin of her inner thigh, the smooth curve at the base of her spine, the delicate skin on her breast, the flat of her stomach—places he’d tasted with his mouth, but never touched with his hands. Not until this woman came into his life.
“I know,” he agreed. “Maybe someday. Have you ever been in love?” he asked, changing the subject.
He knew a woman like her must have dated, but had a man ever claimed her as his own? Part of him was a little bit jealous about that. Kane had never been in a serious relationship where the L-word came out of his mouth and he didn’t know what possessed him to ask. He didn’t think it was in his genetic makeup and it had never seemed like a big deal. Even his sister shared the same cynical outlook about love. Perhaps it was his dysfunctional childhood and the poor example shown by his parents that carved the man he had become. Stuff like that messes with your head whether you realize it or not.
“Once.”
When she didn’t speak anymore, he brushed her hair aside and ran his thumb over her eyebrow. “Tell me about the loser who let you go.”
Her eyes looked up wistfully. “He was a human. I was young and didn’t know any better. I thought it wouldn’t matter who I dated. Boy, was I wrong.”
An unsettling feeling shifted within him. “What do you mean?”
She wet her lips and traced a finger over his tattoo. “I met Tommy at the grocery store of all places.” A thoughtful smile curved up her cheek. “I pulled an orange out of a fancy pyramid and sent a dozen of them rolling to the floor.”
Kane laughed heartily. He could see that image in his mind so vividly.
“Tommy was the manager and he was so nice about not making me feel like an idiot. He was five years older than me and just a really nice guy. We didn’t live together, but we dated for about five months.”
“That serious?”
She cleared her throat a little. “Yeah, it was getting serious.”
“Did you tell him what you were?”
“I tried, but never got around to it. Plus, I was scared that he might tell others about us and I’d get in trouble. Everything was so perfect and I didn’t want to spoil anything. Then my boss found out. This was my old job when I used to work at a café.”
Kane nodded and glared at the darkening window.
“Tommy came into the shop a lot and my boss started getting into my business. He was a Shifter and you know how territorial some of them are. A wolf, no less.” Caroline’s voice saddened as she recollected something long ago. “He didn’t like it one bit, and threatened to kill Tommy if we didn’t stop seeing each other. I was scared because every time I went out with him, it felt like someone was following us. My boss was serious and said he’d follow through with it even if I quit working there. I had no choice.”
“He didn’t try to hold onto you?”
She shrugged. “I didn’t have a believable reason for breaking up, so I told him what no man wants to hear. That I cheated on him. Tommy knew better and called me a liar; he didn’t understand. It was the worst thing I’ve ever done to anyone and you have no idea how many nights I’ve wanted to call him and take it all back.” Her sigh was a pained one. “God, I said things to him I’ll regret for the rest of my life.”
Kane’s left hand brushed down her arm. “So why don’t you call him now?”
“He’s married with two kids. What am I going to say to him now that would matter?”
As the words left her lips, Caroline shivered.
“Give me your hand,” he said, pulling it up to his mouth. He cupped her fingers within his own and blew a heated breath. It reminded him of what they were really doing there; this was no date. In reality, both of them were lying in bed together with the early morning sun showering the room with light.
“Better?”
“So much.” She stretched out her words and relaxed against him. “Where do you live?”
“Far side of town near a little diner called Coyote Burger. They’ve got the best damn onion rings.”
She gripped his arm and shook it. “Are you serious? I’m right there on the same street—just a few blocks up by the gas station. I’ve never tried their onion rings, but their shakes are to die for. That’s where I went tonight to get my dinner.”
“No kidding,” he said.
“I go there almost every single Friday. Usually I sit in the back next to that crappy old jukebox.”
Kane snorted. “Yeah, the one that always plays Willie Nelson songs.”
Caroline laughed, and it was a lovely sound—melodic and followed with a sigh. “The owner has a thing for country music and Willie is his man.”
When she rested her head against his chest, he inconspicuously leaned forward and brushed his lips over her soft hair, feeling the back of her neck with his hand and the weight of her body in his lap. Everything was so real.
“Did you know the guy?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “He came out of nowhere and cornered me in a parking lot.”
Kane cursed under his breath.
“I wish we’d met before all of this,” she said, stroking his arm. “Although I’m a little shy sometimes and probably wouldn’t have said anything to you. I might have just stared at your gorgeous ass over the top of my menu or something like that.” She snickered.
“I would have tried to hit on you,” he said decidedly. Kane stroked her rosy cheek with the pad of his thumb. “You’re so noticeable that everything else isn’t. One look and I would have been a goner. You—you’re so lovely, Caroline. I might have stuck my foot in my mouth.”
“Your big foot,” she added.
“Yes, my big foot.” He chuckled softly. “I’m going to take you there and let you try those onion rings.”
Caroline lifted her chin. “I’d like that. Afterward, we can do something fun. What do you like to do?”
Kane suddenly felt nervous—this girl was a gem and nothing about him was the kind of guy she’d go for. But he played along because it indulged his fantasy. “Nothing you’d be interested in. Concerts, pool… that kind of thing.”
“Ah, so what do you think I do for fun?” she asked accusingly. “I don’t sit around and read books all day if that’s what you’re implying.”
Kane laughed as she shifted angrily in his lap. “Never said such a thing, Angel. I just don’t see girls like you in places where I hang out.”
“I like fun,” she huffed. Then a wide smile spread across her face. “How do you feel about museums?”
When he groaned and stretched out his legs, she pinched his side and laughed triumphantly. Their bodies settled together once more and the only sound in that quiet room was the two of them breathing in rhythm.
***
Carrie loved the feeling of being encased in his arms—she felt as if nothing in the world mattered. Kane wasn’t the kind of guy that would normally give her the time of day. Guys like him never hit on girls like her. He was one of those bad boys with a thunderous sex life—the one who struts into a café and leans against the counter on his elbows, flirting with the girl behind the register while he takes his time deciding which flavor of coffee he wants. He might casually look around the room to soak up the admiring glances with those beautiful eyes.
And wow, those eyes. She’d never seen anything so captivating as the way his eyes looked when they fell over her body. His gaze was more than carnal desire—it was reverent. Carrie was always a sucker for a smile, but the way he looked at her made her blush.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked. “You got quiet all of a sudden.” His hand cupped her arm and lightly stroked it, warming her completely.
What she wanted to tell him was that she was thinking about the way he called her angel. It was a name reserved for someone close to your heart. What a silly thought. Carrie took a cleansing breath. He smelled so good. How was it possible that s
he could smell him?
“Angel?”
Her heart skipped. “I was just thinking about how you should have kids.”
“What would make you say something like that?” He snorted.
Carrie reached up and tenderly brushed her hand across his brow. This time, he didn’t flinch. Maybe it was the fact that none of this was real that made it easier to be affectionate. “You need to give those beautiful eyes to someone.”
And that’s when his heart began to pound against her chest. Immediately, Carrie felt like such an idiot. She was practically throwing herself at his feet with silly nonsense that…
“Maybe I’d rather give them to you,” he said in a raspy voice. “A guy like me? I’m not someone a kid could look up to.”
Carrie rested her hand across his tattoo. He didn’t seem to care that his shirt was still pulled behind his head, and she didn’t mention it. “I think you’re wrong. Plus, I’m sure there are lots of women who would love to make babies with you.”
Kane rocked with laughter. Carrie loved the way the shadows played on his features and how his Adam’s apple moved when he laughed. She wanted to run her fingers through his disheveled hair.
His grip tightened around the nape of her neck. “You make me sound like a playboy. I’m not that kind of guy,” he said as his chuckles faded.
“Please,” she argued.
He narrowed his eyes, tilting his head to one side. “Care to explain?”
She twisted her mouth. “You’re the guy who can get any girl he wants, but you don’t give girls like me the time of day.”
“Maybe it’s because I don’t like rejection.”
Carrie leaned back and stared at his mouth. He wet his lips with his tongue and pursed them, studying her as if he were trying to figure something out. Rejection? Now he was really mocking her.
“What makes you think I’d reject you?”
He arched a brow and smirked on one side. “The lump on my head? Or maybe the bruised knuckles,” he said, holding up his hand and looking at them. “I’m not sure which. Could be my aching balls.”
She laughed so hard that she had to curl up against him to hide her face. Maybe she would have judged him harshly, afraid that a guy like him would break her heart. The thought made her a little sad, thinking about missed opportunities when she could have easily gotten up out of her comfort zone and actually talked to a guy who was looking in her direction. Carrie closed herself off, and maybe part of that was the residual pain from losing the one man that meant everything to her.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“For?”
Silence stretched between them.
“What I said about your name. I didn’t mean it. You are someone important, Kane. Don’t let anyone ever tell you differently.”
He drew invisible circles on her knee with his finger, but didn’t say a word. She felt horrible for the way she had treated him at first. What did she really know about Kane, aside from being a complete stranger trying to help her? That spoke volumes.
Especially given her past. After her father disappeared, Carrie was thrown into temporary housing. There weren’t many other kids there, but it was no different from an orphanage. Unfortunately, Sensors weren’t big on adopting, so they kept unwanted children in a facility until they were old enough to find a job. Because of her disability, the workers treated her unkindly. It was hard enough having to cope with the loss of her father, but to be treated like some kind of leper? There was no other family; her grandmother had died a couple of years earlier. Carrie sensed her father had never recovered from the loss of her mother, who died in childbirth.
There were many sleepless nights that Carrie would gaze through the dusty window at the stars and wish that someone would come to her rescue. Maybe that’s why she was a hopeless romantic, always watching those sappy movies and wanting to experience the burning passion of a great love. Just once. The kind that was reckless and filled in all the cracks that had left her broken.
“I miss my dad,” she said in a quiet breath.
“He died?”
She lightly patted Kane’s chest. “I don’t know. I was young when he went missing. My dad was a decent man—not affectionate, but he always read me stories when I was little, and he tried his best to make me happy.”
“Maybe he’ll come back.”
“I doubt it,” she said. “It’s been years. If he were alive and had to remain hidden for some reason, he would have at least sent me a note or something to let me know that he was okay. I just can’t believe it’s that easy to abandon someone you love.”
Kane scooted down in his seat and pulled her legs up, keeping his hand on her thigh. She wasn’t aware of anything else but the heat from his palm through her dress. “How old were you?”
“Fifteen. I waited two days before I called law enforcement,” she said guiltily. “They don’t really do much about missing persons. They said that it’s not uncommon among Breed for a killer to dispose of the body so that no evidence will link back to them.”
Dammit. Her lip was quivering just thinking about how insensitive the detectives had been; talking about it opened up all of those old feelings. She was just a young girl and that was the day her childhood ended.
Without warning, Kane slowly caressed her cheek with his fingers. They traced down the line of her jaw and she closed her eyes, realizing that he was the man she wanted to wake up next to.
***
Caroline gently held his hand and stroked his wrist with her fingertips. It was becoming harder for Kane to breathe because of the guilt that sat on his chest like a five-hundred-pound gorilla.
Caroline was a remarkable woman and he wanted to learn more about her. He wanted to take her out for pancakes and coffee, find out what she did in her spare time, and even watch her falling asleep. He barely knew this woman, and yet she knew him better than anyone else did. When someone else sees your secrets, shares your pain, and looks into your soul, it’s hard not to feel like the luckiest man on earth.
“Will you remember me, Kane?”
Fuck, he thought, looking away. The darkness shielded his face and hid the tears that branded him a feeling man. The bitch of it was that he couldn’t wipe them away because his hands were all hers. He’d never lost anyone close, so death had always been an impersonal fact of life to him.
“Kane?” She sounded afraid.
“Yes,” he whispered, still looking away.
Her cool hand slid around the back of his neck. “Look at me. I can’t see your face anymore—I need to see you.”
He swallowed hard and clenched his jaw, facing her with a stoic expression. The moment she planted her glimmering eyes on him, Kane was ruined. He wanted to see the tiny beauty mark on her cheek and thread his hands through sunlit hair.
Without thinking, he bent forward and kissed her. It wasn’t combustible like before, but slow and simmering. He tasted her in a way that was new and bittersweet. The salt of her tears still stained her lips, and his nose filled with the bloom of wildflowers. The wet sound of their slow kiss filled the darkening room and he took his time, placing soft pecks on each corner of her mouth. For once, Kane truly knew what it was to enjoy a woman—to savor her so completely that nothing was rushed or forgotten.
When he broke away, she briefly covered his mouth with her hand. “Tell me you love me.”
He frowned and shook his head. “What?”
“Just listen for a minute. No man has ever said it to me before—not even Tommy—and I want to hear what it sounds like.” Her chin wrinkled as she staved off the tears and it strengthened the bones in her face. She was the reason that warriors wrote poetry.
“Caroline—”
“Please do this for me, Kane. It won’t mean anything to you, but I need to know what it feels like to hear a man say those words. Let me pretend that I’m leaving something behind. Sure I dated around, but you know how it is. They’d find out the truth and leave pretty quickly, so kids were never
in my future. I have no legacy.”
“They were clowns. Those men didn’t deserve you.”
“Yeah, but it would have been nice to be missed.”
She leaned in close enough that her nose touched his cheek. “I thought about adopting a human baby, but they would have arrested me. I don’t think there’s a law against it, but—”
“It wouldn’t have been worth going to jail for.”
“Maybe it would have.” Caroline’s voice relaxed, like when you’re lying in bed late at night and talking about deep things. She moved her mouth to a spot just beneath his jaw and he tensed as she kept talking. “One of the best memories I have is baking cookies in my grandma’s kitchen. She always wore this blue apron with little yellow flowers and let me taste the first one that came out of the oven while it was warm. Even though she’s gone, she’s still here because I remember her. That woman lived a long time,” Caroline said with a small laugh. “She liked reminding everyone how old she was.”
“I’ll outlive my human family,” Kane said offhandedly.
“I never thought of that.” Caroline rested her cheek against his shoulder. He shuddered as her breath tickled his neck. “Maybe you should meet someone and have a few kids.”
That stung. For a fleeting moment, his life of delivering packages and sitting around drinking beers dissipated—replaced with visions of Caroline baking in the kitchen and running to give him a kiss. Could he be that kind of man?
“I’m going back to get help. This is fucking ridiculous—me sitting here when I should have taken you to a hospital and hung around to keep an eye on you. No one has to know; we’ll let them treat your injuries and when you wake up, I’ll sneak you out of there.”
“I’m asking you to stay,” she insisted.
Kane shook his head. “No, this isn’t right. What the hell am I doing here if I’m not helping you?” The tattoo across his heart burned like a brand.
“You are helping me, Kane. You just don’t know it. I’m not asking you to miss me; I’m not even asking that you remember me. Just tell me once that you love me.” Caroline kissed the soft spot on his neck below the Adam’s apple. “This is how you can save me. I don’t matter to anyone, but this life matters to me. All the things I wanted to do,” she said remorsefully. “My body can’t be saved. Just do this, Kane. Kiss me and say something that doesn’t matter because it won’t make a difference to you, but it’ll make it easier for me to let go. I won’t feel so… alone.”