The headlights illuminated the front of the house and the door swinging on the hinges. Open.
Her focus centered on the brass deadbolt glinting in her headlights. Grandma couldn’t turn the bolt, her hands shook too much and she wasn’t strong enough. Kellie had made sure that the fit was tight enough to make it difficult.
She scrambled to unbuckle her seat belt and threw herself out the door. She vaguely realized that she was leaving the Cube idling in the driveway, but it wasn’t going anywhere.
“Grandma?”
Her flip-flops slapped the sidewalk as she ran. Each step jarred up her legs painfully.
Ahead of her, Grandma had stopped to examine one of the trees. Her face was pressed close to a knot in the wood and she muttered something to herself. She glanced at Kellie, her gaze narrowed in suspicion.
“Bad spirits have eaten its soul,” Grandma said in Korean.
Kellie slowed to a walk and peered at Grandma, looking for any injuries or sign she’d had an accident. Her pajamas looked clean, if a little rumpled.
Grandma’s hand darted out and grabbed Kellie by the wrist, hauling her closer to the tree. She slapped Kellie’s hand against the gnarled wood. It was easy to see Grandma as a frail old woman, until she reminded Kellie that before her time she’d been a tae kwon do instructor.
“It’s dying.”
Kellie looked at their overlapping hands. Wrinkles punctuated each joint and knuckle compared to her hand. She placed her other hand over Grandma’s and turned to her.
Kellie swallowed down the poisonous cocktail of emotions and focused on what really mattered. She needed to get Grandma inside and make sure she wasn’t injured.
“We’ll save FernGully, but it has to wait for morning.”
“But…”
Grandma blinked up at Kellie, brows drawn together and wrinkles marring her forehead. Grandma’s memory was running away like a herd of lemmings, and she was floundering. Kellie had seen it happen often enough over the last few years.
Kellie wouldn’t cry. The waterworks upset Grandma, and right now Kellie couldn’t handle her being difficult.
Grandma’s face relaxed and her chin tilted up. “What happened to the sun?”
“It’s nighttime.” Kellie wrapped an arm around Grandma’s waist and urged her back onto the sidewalk.
“It can’t be. I just made breakfast.”
Kellie forced a smile on her face. “You took a nap, remember?”
“No.”
Breathing was difficult. Her throat constricted and her eyes stung.
“Where are we going?”
“We’re going home, G—” Kellie swallowed her words. It was still habit to call her grandma, because that was who she was to Kellie, but she didn’t remember that anymore.
“Can you read me a bedtime story? The one about the bears? I like that one.” Grandma shuffled along happily. She tilted her head back and looked up at the wide-open Texas skies. “Once there were three bears. Papa Bear, Mama Bear, Baby Bear. Papa Bear was chubby and fat. Mama Bear was slender and tall. Baby Bear was the cutest one of all. That’s because he was so small.”
“She was so small,” Kellie mumbled. She missed the old version. She missed her grandmother. She missed having her own life.
* * * * *
Scalding-hot coffee burned the back of Kellie’s mouth. She’d checked on Grandma several times during the remainder of the night, never fully able to go to sleep herself.
She jabbed in Natalie’s number. At eight a.m. it was time for some answers. She really should call Natalie’s boss, but they were friends. Or had been.
“Hello?” Natalie’s voice croaked over the phone. Something wasn’t right. Relief and anger warred within Kellie.
“Hey,” she barked out, unsure of how to begin.
“Hey, Kellie, sorry about last night. Did Shin tell you everything?”
She set the coffee cup down on the counter. “Shin? What does he have to do with this? When I got home the front door was open and Grandma was out almost in the road trying to save FernGully. I want to know what the hell happened, Natalie, and I really hope there’s a good explanation for why no one fucking called me.”
“Wait, what?” Natalie’s voice wavered through the phone.
“Grandma was by herself when I got home.”
“Oh my god, Kellie, I thought your neighbor called you. I thought— Shit, hold on.”
Rustling crackled over the line and then the unmistakable sounds of vomiting serenaded Kellie’s morning cup of coffee. She wrinkled her nose and pushed the cup farther away from her.
How was Shin involved? Why?
She could hear a male voice in the background, probably Natalie’s husband. After several minutes the phone was picked back up.
“Sorry, Kellie. I wanted to tell you this later, but I’m pregnant. We just found out. Mrs. Gang came over last night and we all had dinner and I got really sick. Shin stopped by and they said they would call you and stay with Grandma until you got there. I’m so sorry, Kellie.”
It made sense. Grandma Gang often watched her grandmother, but why hadn’t Shin called her? Or even Grandma Gang? She was a selfish bitch, all she was worried about was herself and here Natalie was getting her dream.
“Congratulations on the baby.” She even managed to put a little cheer in her voice she didn’t feel.
“Thank you. I’m so, so, so sorry about last night.”
All the foul emotions bubbled up from her chest. She rubbed her sternum and glanced around for an antacid. “I understand what happened, but it’s not okay. Someone should have called me. I would have come home earlier or something.”
She wouldn’t have fucked Quin. While she’d been scratching an itch, the most important person in her life had needed her.
“I know, I completely agree.” Natalie’s voice broke. The woman was sweet as pie. She was made to be a mother.
“I haven’t called your boss,” Kellie added, guilt weighing on her for making Natalie more stressed.
“It’s okay if you tell them. I, um, I turned in my two weeks. Scott wants me to be a stay-at-home mom, and there’s a history of tough pregnancies in my family. I’m sorry.”
Kellie leaned against the kitchen counter and blew out a deep breath. “Damn, why does this feel like you’re breaking up with me?”
In many ways, Natalie was family. She spent so much time at Kellie’s house, knew all about their lives. Sometimes they even hung out together. Hell, Kellie had gone to Natalie’s wedding. She wasn’t just someone Kellie paid to elder-sit, she was more than that.
“I’m sorry, Kellie.”
Kellie rubbed her eyes. This was craptastic and awesome all at the same time. “No need to apologize for moving on. I think it’s great you guys are setting up your family. I know you’ve really wanted that.”
“Yeah, but I feel like I’m letting you down.” Natalie’s voice cracked again. Kellie could picture her close to tears.
Kellie swallowed down the lump in her throat. “You aren’t, I just didn’t see this coming.”
“I still have two weeks. I’m supposed to be over there in an hour.”
“Are you sure you can do it? It sounds like you’re not doing so well this morning.” And shit, she was supposed to go to the hospital to see Carly today with Pandora and Brian. Her luck sucked.
“Yes, plus I want to check out Grandma, make sure she’s fine.”
“Okay, I’m going to figure out what happened with Shin. See you in an hour.”
She hung up and sucked down the rest of her coffee, not that she needed a spike to her system.
Natalie was leaving her. Already Kellie could feel a huge, gaping hole where the young woman had taken up residence as part of the family. It wasn’t a breakup, this was a divorce. Who would they get once she was gone? It was difficult to find someone to care for Grandma because of the language barrier, and that was before the Alzheimer’s.
She peeked into the living room where Gr
andma was sitting on the couch, picking at her breakfast. She would pick at it until Natalie got here. Pocketing her phone, Kellie trekked over to the Gangs’ house and pounded on the door.
Shin’s aunt answered, blinking up at Kellie with her typical befuddled expression. “Yes?”
“Is Shin here?” Somehow she managed to not snap out the question.
“He’s in the back.” The aunt thumbed her way into the house.
Kellie shook her head. “I’ll go around.” She didn’t want to step foot in that place. It was like an episode of Hoarders on the Border—too many people, too much stuff.
She let herself into the backyard by way of a side gate and found Shin, one of his younger cousins and a friend lounging in lawn chairs. Shin tilted his head back and looked down his nose at her, even though she towered over him.
The little shit was up to something.
“Do you want to explain last night to me?” she asked, stopping a few feet away from Shin.
He rocked back on the chair legs and crossed his hands over his stomach. “What is there to explain?”
She could imagine wrapping her hands around his neck and squeezing until his eyes bugged out of his skull. “Last night, according to my nurse, you told her you would call me and watch Grandma until I got there.”
Shin spared a glance for the two stony-faced men flanking him. These were people Kellie had grown up around, the same who snubbed her mother for marrying a white man and then her for daring to be born only half Korean.
“Sounds like you should fire your nurse. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The bastard smiled.
Her vision hazed red. He didn’t see people, he saw pawns and things to be used, especially if those pawns were women. She lunged for him, fisting the front of his shirt and hauling him to his feet. He couldn’t bring his arms up fast enough to completely block the punch she aimed for his face. She clipped his jaw, snapping his head back.
Shin’s cousin grabbed her arm and pulled her away.
“He’s baiting you,” the younger Gang said.
She jerked out of the young man’s weak hold. Shin had pushed to his feet, his fists balled up at his side. She’d love to give him a black eye, broken nose. “You fucking cunt face, if you hate me, hate me. Don’t drag my grandmother into this.”
Shin sneered at her. “You’re going to regret that, Cho Hee.”
“Not as much as you’ll regret pissing me off.” She turned on her heel and stalked back to her house, blinking back hot tears. Given half a chance, she’d kill him.
* * * * *
Kellie settled into the backseat of the Jeep. Natalie had shown up at nine just like she’d promised, and half an hour later Brian and Pandora arrived to pick her up. There had been no sign of Shin.
“Morning.” Pandora handed her another cup of coffee, which she needed.
Kellie grunted in reply and shoved her sunglasses on. Even nine thirty in the morning was too fucking early. Brian and Pandora nursed their frou-frou lattes, trading quiet banter and ignoring her, for which she was grateful. She wasn’t ready to talk about last night with anyone.
She didn’t want to leave the house, except that this was the only time she could go and see Carly. She’d skipped the last two weeks and had only spoken to her briefly at the party. But today Kellie needed a distraction from her life. She was thankful for the time she’d spent sleeping at Quin’s house; it was the only sleep she’d had.
She bit her lip, stared out of the window and watched the cityscape bordering Highway 75 fly by. She’d never been familiar with Parkland Hospital before Carly’s accident. It was a small blessing, considering Grandma’s condition.
Even as early as it was, they still had to park far up in the parking garage. The heat wrapped around her lungs like a constrictor seeking prey. The hot coffee lost its appeal the instant she stepped out of the Jeep. She chucked it in a trash can and followed the happy couple through the maze of corridors, already lost.
Carly’s hospital room looked more like a bedroom. There were discarded bits of clothing, flowers, magazines and odds and ends everywhere. Most of them, after a first glance, appeared to belong to either Pandora or Brian.
A nurse stood next to the bed, clipboard in hand. She glanced over her shoulder and smiled.
“Nice to see you guys again,” the nurse said.
“Hey, Carly.” Brian’s voice was too loud in the small, tiled room, but the cheer was palpable.
Pandora had her smile firmly in place as well, though her greeting was more subdued. She waited until the nurse stepped away and closed in to give Carly a hug.
“Hi, guys.” Carly’s voice was a painful croak.
“Damn, that doesn’t sound good.” Kellie came to stand next to Pandora, firmly ignoring the catheter bag. An eighteen-year-old girl shouldn’t be reduced to partial paralysis and peeing in a bag. Looking at Carly, she had to wonder how much of this same situation she would have to go through with Grandma. How much longer could she keep her at home?
Doctors had encouraged Kellie a few years before to find a suitable nursing home for Grandma, but she’d held on to the hope that familiar surroundings would help. Part of her wished that she’d listened to her mother all those years ago and gotten married. A good Korean husband would see to it that their family stayed together, and she might have even been able to stay at home to administer the care herself. But Kellie had chosen a different path, one that she was happy with, though it made life difficult at the best of times.
She didn’t know how much longer she could keep things together. Not working wasn’t a possibility, and Grandma needed more care. She couldn’t trust friends to do it anymore. What if Grandma got hurt during the few hours she was left alone? What if something happened and she died alone?
“Kellie?”
She shook her head to clear her thoughts. “Sorry, sleeping on my feet.”
“You should take a day off.” Pandora peered at her, eyes narrowed.
“Can’t. Too many appointments. I’ll be all right.”
“How many nights have you closed in the last week?”
She shrugged. “It’s the nature of the business. Carly, what’s the latest news with you?”
Carly muted the TV and sighed. “They’re talking about another possible surgery on my hip, but I don’t know if they’re going to wait a while or do it soon. I should be released in about a week, then I’ll start physical therapy and trying to get movement back.”
Brian leaned against the bars on the opposite side of the bed. “Don’t rush it. Coming back from an accident like this takes a lot of time, but we’ll be there for you.”
Kellie wanted to offer her own support and promises, but she couldn’t make her mouth move. Carly would get better. With a coach like Brian, who had been in Carly’s shoes before, she’d walk again someday, but Kellie couldn’t help but compare her to Grandma. Grandma wouldn’t get better. Carly would leave the hospital bed, but Grandma would go into one. And then what? How would she handle that?
The coffee churned in her empty stomach. Maybe skipping breakfast had been a bad idea, but she’d been too worked up to eat.
“Excuse me for a sec, I need some air.”
“Something wrong?” Pandora turned from whatever Brian was saying and glanced at her.
“My stomach.” She backed away a few steps. “I’ll be okay, I’m just going to go grab something.”
“There’s a café on the first floor that should be open,” Brian offered.
“Yeah, I’ll go by there.”
Kellie strode from the room and struck off down a random hall, not wanting food at all. She just wanted space. Ahead of her, a frail, elderly woman shuffled along in a wheelchair by taking tiny steps. A man going the opposite way held on to an IV pole and cane for support.
Was that what Grandma’s future was like? How would she take care of her?
Though she might have abandoned many of the more traditional views of her native culture, honorin
g her elders and taking care of her family was most important. Grandma was all that she had left after Mom abandoned them.
Kellie wandered into the waiting room and sank down into an armchair. If she were honest with herself, she resented her mother for leaving them, even if she’d had good reason. But it was hard not to look for another source to blame her troubles on. Kellie was thirty-two. She should be living her life. Instead, she was trying to take care of everyone else. She wasn’t naïve enough to believe things could go on as they were, but she didn’t know what else to do.
* * * * *
Quin glared at the two men sitting in his office. Mouse looked like a sulking behemoth of a child. Jacob sat at right angles, his hands folded in his lap. A shiner swelled the younger man’s eye almost shut, but Jacob hadn’t complained once. In fact, if Quin hadn’t been going into the locker room to check supplies, he might never have known how the kid got the black eye.
“Do you want to tell me why you were fighting?” He leaned against the desk and crossed his arms. Neither responded. “You’re grown ass men, for fuck’s sake. This isn’t high school.”
Mouse’s hands balled into fists resting on his knees. “The gook started it.”
Quin’s blood boiled over. He’d taken a step toward his prize fighter before he realized it. “Mouse—”
“He has every right to be upset with me,” Jacob interjected calmly.
“Damn right I did. You sold me out, you fucking Chink.”
“That’s enough, Mouse.” Quin stood knee to knee with him, towering over the other man for the time being. He’d spent his time in the Marines. He understood slurs but had no tolerance for them, especially considering it was Jacob’s community he was trying to tap into. “What the fuck happened? Tell me now, or I’m going to suspend both of your asses.”
“You can’t do that!” Mouse gaped at him. A suspension from Quin’s program would mean no fights, and considering Quin was jockeying to get him a career-building fight, Mouse’s future rested in his hands.
“I can and I will. I might just for the way you’re talking.”
The Harder He Falls: 2 (So Inked) Page 10