by Rua Hasan
Which meant that he was awake.
I wanted to drive fast and pass by his house quicker but I knew that if I did then he’d get suspicious and look out the window. Which meant that I’d have to stay at my pace and act as if everything was normal. As if I wasn’t driving by his burned down house.
I could almost hear the sound of my heart beat against my rib cage when I saw my house from afar. I held in my breath as my palms began to sweat. If you listened carefully, you could have sworn you’d hear my heart tear apart before it dropped into nothingness.
My mouth fell open at the sight but I didn’t dare say a single thing. Nothing came out of it. I didn’t breathe. If I was reacting to the sight of the burned house which was next to mine then how would Tyler react to it?
I felt my knuckles tighten around the wheel as I drove closer. My eyes would flicker every now and then to the back to make sure Tyler was still there. I would hope that Tyler didn’t notice a change in my behavior. That maybe he was too lost in his own little world to notice. But as always, things didn’t go as planned.
Because once I drove passed his house, and finally letting out a breath, I felt my heart stop when Tyler spoke. It was the very first thing he said after finding out that his parents were involved in a fire. After talking with Dan over the phone and after driving here almost immediately. The words which made my stomach drop.
“Stop the car.”
I wanted to drive away, to not listen to what he just said for his own benefit, but after hearing his desperate words again and knowing that if I didn’t listen and that he’d certainly get mad at me, I did as he said.
“Crystal, I told you to stop the car.” His voice cracked in the end.
And so I did. I stopped the car and watched as he got up and opened his car door. I watched with teary eyes as Tyler hopped out almost immediately and turned to look at the space where his house once was. I unbuckled my seatbelt and ran out, the cold dark air of the night greeted me with open arms. It was already midnight and I couldn’t be more tired but I knew that even if I wanted to sleep, I couldn’t. My eyes wouldn’t close unless I knew that Tyler was okay.
But he wasn’t.
I watched as he took small depressing steps toward his house. His whispers slowly turned to sobs. His shoulders began to shake as he ran to where his doorsteps were once held. I ran after him but didn’t say a single thing. The words were long gone, as I watched my man break down and fall to the ground. I watched as he got to his knees, his hands lay there on the concrete . His sobs began to grow louder and I couldn’t stop the small ones which escape my mouth as my vision began to blur.
The sight was too much for me to handle.
I thought the day when Tyler found out that Paul was his father was bad. But I was wrong. So damn wrong. This was the worst. This was the horrible sight that left my shoulders shaking.
Tyler’s sobs began to increase as his fist banged the hard ground, knowing soon that it would leave his knuckles bleeding. I slowly walked over to him, wanting to whisper his name but was too afraid to do so. I was afraid that I’d snap something in him. So I just walked over to his slumped form and placed my hands on his violent shaking shoulders.
His sobs turned into cries as tears fell down his cheeks like a waterfall. I got down to my knees and wrapped my arms around him, bringing him closer to me so he’d cry in my arms. He wrapped his arms around me, and hid his face in the crook of my neck. He wailed loudly as his fist took ahold of my clothes, trying to seek some comfort. I cried too, as I ran my hands through his hair. I held him tight, not wanting him to doubt for a moment that I’d leave him.
“Shhh,” I whispered in his ear, as I tried to calm him down. I ran my hands up and down his back but the sobs and cries wouldn’t stop.
“I-It’s gone!” He cried out.
I felt the tears fall down my cheeks at his vulnerable voice.
“Everything is g-gone.” He sobbed into my neck.
I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. Sometimes words weren’t the things that helped people heal but actions. So I took his face into my hands after holding my tears back and wiped away his. I kissed his tears away which were still running down his cheeks and watched as his lips trembled.
“I’m right here,” I whispered. “I’m not gone.”
He shook his head and held me tightly.
“B-but my parents a-and the fire.”
“I know, I know,” I whispered with a nod before pulling him with me.
“We still don’t know how they are, which means that we have to get back into the car and drive to the hospital.” I tried to reason with him. Another tear slipped out of his eye as he nodded, taking deep breaths. He looked back at his burned house and held his fist to his mouth, letting out a loud sob before to which I responded by pulling his head to my neck so I could hide the sight which broke him the most. He nodded his head as if he tried to reason with himself too and took a deep breath.
“You’re right,” he whispered, before looking back up with his red puffy eyes.
“I have to check up on them. On my m-mom and d-dad.” He gulped down his words and wiped the tears off his cheek. I took his hand as I kissed his lips softly.
“Everything will get better. You’ll see,” I told him.
Tyler only looked at me with sad painful eyes before walking away to his car. I followed him and opened the door to the driver’s seat so I go as fast as possible. Once I made sure that Tyler was seated next to me and that he had his seat belt on, I started the car and drove down the road to the hospital. I felt my heart beat race rapidly by the second as my hand still held Tyler’s, rubbing circles in the hopes of calming him down.
Time flew by too quickly for my liking and before I knew it, the car was parked right outside the hospital where we would either find the good or the bad news. Once I stopped the car and pulled out the keys, Tyler immediately hopped out. I did the same and took his shaky hand.
We walked quickly to the entrance and looked around the empty place, knowing it was probably because everyone else was sleeping. I walked immediately to the woman behind the desk who was reading a magazine and asked her where Emma and Paul were held.
Tyler was quiet through the whole time, his hands tightening their grip on mine. I sent him a reassuring smile and turned to walk quickly towards the elevator. As we waited for it to take us to the fourth floor, I could hear Tyler’s voice loud and clear.
“I-I can’t.” His voice was shaking nervously.
“Tyler I’m right here by your side. Dan and all our friends will be there too. We are all here no matter what, okay?” I sent him a small sad smile but it didn’t reach my eyes. He gulped down and nodded as he stuck to my side the entire time as we walked to where his parents were held. To the emergency room. We stopped in our tracks once we saw everyone we knew were waiting outside. Dan was pacing around with his hands running through his hair.
Everyone turned to look at us, the minute they noticed we arrived. Tyler let go of my hand suddenly and ran to his cousin.
“H-how are they?” he asked under his breath. Dan had tears in his eyes, as all of our friends ran up to Tyler to comfort him. Dan shook his head and swallowed a lump in his throat.
“I have two bad news but one good news.” He breathed out as tears blurred his eyes, I walked over to them, acknowledging everyone and placed my hand on Tyler’s arm.
“What happened? Are they dead? No! No it can’t be!” Tyler cried.
“Tyler, please sit down so that I could tell you,” Dan said in a shaky voice. Tyler sat down on a chair as his hands and shoulders started to shake once more. I sat down next to him, trying to hold back the tears which were threatening to fall out. Dan kneeled down so he could look right into Tyler’s watery eyes and took a deep breath, bracing himself.
“The bad news is . . . ” He breathed out, clenching his fists together before opening his eyes. “That Paul’s dead.”
Once those words left his mouth, Tyler scream
ed out a bunch of curse words and closed his eyes. I knew what upset him the most was that Tyler wasn’t able to get a chance to spend some time with his real father nor accept the truth. He was still close to him after all, even when he thought he was his uncle.
“What about my m-mom?” he asked, his voice cracking.
“That’s where the good news comes in.” Dan breathed out. “She’s still alive.”
Tyler immediately got up, running his hands through his hair and to his face as the tears continued to fall. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding back and got up to hug Tyler.
“Thank God.” I heard him whisper to himself. He turned around to hug me, holding himself close. But then all of a sudden he stopped, and pulled away turning back to his cousin.
“You said there were two bad news. What’s the second one?”
Dan took a deep breath before looking at everyone then to Tyler.
“She’s in a coma. We don’t know when she’ll wake up,” he said sadly, looking down to his shoes.
Tyler let out a loud cry, ignoring everyone’s attempts to comfort him and sat back down. He hid his face into his hands as he cried his heart out. I felt the tears run down my cheeks also as I hugged him before looking back up at Dan who was also crying.
“How did that happen?” I asked quietly but knew that Tyler and the others heard me.
“She isn’t in the coma from the fire. She was found right next to the front door laying on the floor with her head bleeding which was why she didn’t die from the flames because she was the first one to be taken out of the house. But it looked like she fell from the stairs while trying to escape because the doctor says that she hit her head real hard,” he explained.
Tyler lifted his head to look at Dan.
“W-what about my father?” he asked, stuttering.
“That, we still don’t know. We don’t know how the fire started or why he wasn’t able to escape. The police are investigating the house for any clues but the only thing I know was that he was inside the bathroom when the fire started.”
I took a deep breath and looked at Tyler, who was looking down on the floor with heavy bags under his eyes. Just when I was about to say something, I saw everyone around turn to look at someone. I got up and saw two police officers holding a clipboard, walking towards us.
“Is anyone here related to Mrs. and Mr. Grey?” One cop asked, referring to Paul’s last name. Tyler immediately got up and rushed to the officer.
“I am. I’m their son,” he said.
“Well we would like to ask you a couple of questions.”
Tyler nodded and sat down as the officer looked at some papers and started asking Tyler about his life at home. At first they were ordinary questions but then they began to change. He started asking if there were any abuse or drugs going on. Tyler answered them all calmly ,even though he looked confused to why the man was asking these kind of questions. It wasn’t until the last question which got us all suspicious.
“Was Mr. Grey acting weird and depressed?” he asked.
Tyler furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head.
“He was nervous because he knew he was going to die soon but he wasn’t acting weird at all,” he answered. “But why? What’s going on that I don’t know of?”
The officer looked down as the clipboard before looking back up.
“At first we thought the fire started because the stove was left open.” He began. Tyler nodded his head slowly. “But now we think that it was a suicide attempt.”
“W-what?” I breathed out.
“Why would do you think that?” Tyler asked loudly.
“We found Mrs. Grey laying down in front of the front door beside the stairs. We first thought that she might have slipped while trying to escape but we think someone pushed her down the stairs.”
“And why would you think that?” Dan asked suddenly.
“Because we found Mr. Grey locked inside the bathroom the whole time.” The officer confirmed.
“So what’s that supposed to mean?” Tyler asked.
“Mr. Grey,” The officer spoke. “The bathroom was locked from the inside, not the out. Which meant that Mr. Grey had the ability to unlock the door, run down the stairs and help Mrs. Grey out of the house in time, but we found his body laying in the bathtub all burned up,” he explained.
My mouth fell open.
“So what you’re trying to say is that my uncle tried to kill himself. But why not cut himself or the usual? Why burn down the house down and push Emma down the stairs?” Dan asked.
The officer shrugged.
“That we still don’t know. Which means that we won’t have any answers until Mrs. Grey wakes up.”
Tyler stood still before falling to the ground. He banged his fist to the ground and cursed loudly. Everyone rushed to him, trying to calm him down but he wasn’t listening to anyone. Not even me.
“Tyler baby, please calm down!” I cried.
He shook his head as he shouted.
“I cant! I don’t know what to do or believe!” He cried out.
“I wanted to trust that bastard as my father knowing that he was sick and about to die soon. But why do this? Why try to harm my mom?” he shouted. The officer rushed over to him after calling a doctor.
“We think that might have triggered the suicidal thoughts. Maybe it was that or something personal that we still don’t know of,” The officer spoke but Tyler shook his head. A nurse rushed over to us, holding a syringe but Tyler backed away and hid behind me, holding his hands up.
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” He assured the nurse who was looking at him with concern. I hugged Tyler, pulling him to my chest while giving the nurse a slight nod. Tyler once again hid his face into my neck and breathed out loudly while shaking. Dan walked over to us and patted Tyler’s shoulder.
“Things will get better once Ema wakes up. You’ll see.” Dan assured him but Tyler didn’t lift his head up to look at him. He kept his arms around me while he whimpered. I ran my hands through his hair and gave Dan a small sad smile knowing that he was trying his best to help.
“Thank you. I’ll take it from here,” I said but he shook his head.
“Tyler’s my cousin and I know we haven’t been getting along lately but I have to stay by his side. That’s what family is all about. Besides, he needs a place to stay,” he spoke. Tyler slowly pulled away and nodded his head at Dan but I spoke up suddenly, causing both of them to turn to me.
“You can stay at my house.” I suggested, the words blurted out of my mouth out of nowhere. Tyler’s red eyes stared at me, probably wondering on what to do next. I looked at him then back at Dan.
“I mean if you don’t mind. I just want to help too,” I whispered, fiddling with my fingers.
Tyler nodded then looked back at his cousin.
“Thanks, but I think I’ll stay with Crystal. I know that your mom will be mourning her second brother’s death so I don’t want to intrude. Paul was all she had left. Now he’s gone.”
Dan took a deep breath but nodded.
“You’re right. I understand.” He then looked over to me. “I have to go check up on her. Please take care of him.”
I nodded and held Tyler’s hand, pulling him to the seats. I watched as Dan walked away while Tyler laid his head on my lap. He closed his eyes in exhaustion as we waited for the doctor to come out, telling us when Ema’s room will be ready. As I waited with Tyler’s head on my legs, I knew one thing.
That no matter what happened, nothing will ever be able to separate me from Tyler.
Well that’s what I thought.
Chapter 53
It’s been a week. A long and tortuous week. The bags under my eyes were getting darker but what actually brought me down the most was Tyler. Knowing that every single time I suffered, he was suffering ten times more. Knowing that while I was getting tired of all this, my man was screaming in his sleep, seeking for comfort. The last seven days had been a living hell for all of us but mo
stly for Tyler. He got little to no sleep and when was able to finally close his eyes, the nightmares would haunt his dreams.
Every single night I’d sleep by his side, but other than that he’d refuse to sleep a wink. I got so scared that I’d stay up late at night with him, just running my hands through his hair because I knew he liked it. He liked to sleep in my arms as I massaged his head. That was the only way his eyes would willingly drop.
Sleeping wasn’t the only problem. Tyler has been so caught up in waiting for his mother to wake up, he’d spend hours just staring at her still form without eating.
The doctors said that Emma could wake up any minute now. But the problem was that we don’t know when. She could wake up tomorrow or maybe next year. It was a mystery. But Tyler wasn’t willing to let go. He held in all his demons and waited for the daylight would shine back into his life. Just looking at him made me want to hug him with all my might but it’s as if things weren’t going to get any better until Emma opens her eyes.
That was what Tyler said the other day.
The days went by slowly but I couldn’t help but at least be grateful because there was still no school. We had one week left till the break was over and I don’t know how Tyler or any of us would be able to catch up with all of this stress. School was the least of our problems right now compared to the dark clouds that hovered over us, causing gloom to every single person who ever cared about Tyler. It ate us alive just to see him like that. But we had to be strong. I knew that every single day when Tyler sees me and everyone else he cares about.
It might not be a whole lot but it’s a start.
The days and night flew by as we spent each and every hour in our own thoughts. I spent most of my time in the hospital with Tyler, looking down on Emma, wishing she’ll wake up soon. And when we weren’t in the hospital, we’d spent the seconds and minutes in my house, trying to pretend as if everything was normal. But I knew that it wasn’t. It was anything but, yet that still didn’t stop me from trying.