by Rua Hasan
I felt my heart stop as I finally found something which would soon lead me to my doom. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I felt tears burn behind my eyes but I urged myself to continue reading my mother’s writing.
‘Today, I found out why I was such a lazy ass and why I kept throwing up all morning. It turns out that I’m pregnant! I couldn’t believe the news myself! It’s a miracle and the greatest thing is that Paul is the father! I bet we’re going to have the happiest life that anyone could ever imagine. Just me, him and our child. I still don’t know if the baby is going to be a boy or a girl. That’ll have to wait for next time.’
I placed the diary back down as I felt tears run down my cheeks. I couldn’t believe it. Paul and my mother were lovers. The same thought I’ve been dreading ever since Dan showed me the picture, but I was too scared to face. I was too afraid to accept the truth.
Still, I forced myself to pick up the book and flip to the next page.
‘Who knew being pregnant could be this tiring. Walking up the stairs was a hassle, gosh.’
I flipped to the next page.
‘Today is Paul’s birthday. I might not know his siblings very well but I invited them anyways and got all my friends over for a surprise party. It was very tiring since my belly was getting bigger by the day but it was worth it.’
I flipped it once again, my heart beating that it was ringing through my ears.
‘I finally have some great news! Today is my doctor’s appointment. I was very nervous about finding out the gender of the baby but I knew that once Paul was by my side, I’d feel better. Once Paul found out about news he was thrilled! He was so happy to hear that he was getting a princess! A baby girl to spoil! I couldn’t help but cry in joy at the news. He and I debated on what the name should be, and since we found out that a girl was on the way, we decided to use the one I came up with, Crystal!’
I couldn’t stop the tears which were now running down my cheeks. The diary fell on to the floor as my hands flew to my mouth in shock. All the answers were beginning to sink into my mind but I wished that I didn’t have to find out this way. I wished that I didn’t have to find out at all! This was horrible. I felt myself shake as I crawled away from the box, my back hitting against the wall.
My mind was cloudy but my cries were loud and clear.
The truth hurts . . . a lot.
My mother, Ruby, was the woman Paul got pregnant. I didn’t want to admit it but I was their child. I wasn’t only Ruby’s daughter but also Paul’s. The baby in my mother’s stomach was me! Which could only mean one thing and that truth which will forever scar me and kill my soul.
Tyler and I shared a father.
Which meant that Tyler was my half brother.
Chapter 54
Have you ever felt your heart break into millions of pieces and you wished you could just turn back time and fix everything?
I knew if I had the chance to turn back time then maybe I could change my fate.
Why was the world so cruel?
Why did it have to be me?
Why was I that one person who had to find out that the guy I really cared about and called my boyfriend was actually my half brother?
I felt my shoulders shake violently as the truth sunk into my mind. I felt as if I wanted to throw up. I began to feel dizzy as the world around me began to spin. The tears continued to run down my cheeks and they weren’t going to stop anytime soon.
I was sitting in the closet, just staring at the diary which will forever haunt my life. I had my phone in my hand, waiting for Tyler to text me and tell me that he was home.
After what seemed like forever of me crying because of the truth, I began to wonder what did I do to deserve this. What the hell did Tyler do to also deserve this? We both needed the truth no matter how much it hurt, but we also can’t go on living like this, living a lie.
I called Tyler a while ago but I couldn’t hold back my sobs. Once he heard that something was wrong, he immediately got out of the hospital to see me.
I was still in shock. I didn’t know how I was going to break the news to him. That we shared a father. A father that killed himself and put Emma in a coma.
No, no I couldn’t believe it. I just couldn’t bring myself to accept it. So I grabbed my mother’s diary, going to the end of the pages to search for something. Anything that will show that Tyler and I aren’t related at all. I flipped through the pages as tears began to spill onto the pages. I wiped them away and continue to flip through the diary, but the tears wouldn’t stop. I was scared out of my mind and I couldn’t handle this. So I went to the very last pages my mom wrote and read it even though all I wanted to do was sleep and never wake up.
‘Things have started to get strange lately... I’m not sure why but Paul’s on edge. He’s always staring at the baby. At my beautiful Crystal. But not with awe. He isn’t staring at her with adoration. It’s something strange that I can’t put into words. Whenever he carries her or looks into her eyes, it’s as if he’s trying to find out something. Something that he doesn’t know. It’s starting to put me on edge too but I’ll find out soon.’
Just when I was about to read the next paragraph, a loud sound brought me out of my own thoughts. It was the doorbell. I took a deep breath, and brought my sleeves to my face to wipe away the tears even though Tyler would soon find out that I was crying because of my red puffy eyes.
I gathered all the pictures and the diary into the shoebox before I closed it then carried it with me downstairs into the living room. My hands were shaking as I placed it on the coffee table first before opening the door.
Once I opened the door, I was engulfed in a huge comforting hug. Tyler’s arms immediately went around me, pulling me to his chest. I hugged him back for a moment, not knowing how much his presence affected me.
Once the truth snapped in my mind, I immediately pulled away to look right into his worried eyes. The same eyes that haven’t slept in days because of everything else that was going on in his life. Tyler lifted his hand to wipe a tear on my cheek which I still didn’t notice until now. After a while, I opened the door wider for him to come in.
“Gem what’s wrong? Why are you crying? What happened?” Tyler bombarded me with several questions. I held my hand up to him after wiping my tears once again.
“There’s something really important I-I have to show you.” I hiccuped before closing the door behind and walked to the couch, where the coffee table stood next to it. On the surface was the diary I placed earlier.
Tyler looked very confused and already tired because of what happened with his mother. Still, it would be very selfish of me to hide all of this from him. He deserved to know.
Tyler sat down next to me and took ahold of my hand, looking at me with concerned eyes.
“Baby what’s wrong?” he whispered.
Baby . . . Once he finds out the truth he won’t be able to call me that. I held back the tears as my vision began to blur. I shook my head slightly and wished that my beating heart would give me a break.
I took the box into my hands and passed it over to Tyler with all my strength because I felt weak at this very moment. I felt as if I was going to pass out any minute now. Tyler noticed my pale, tired face before looking down at the box. He lifted an eyebrow and spoke before I could.
“What’s this?” he asked.
I took a deep breath, bracing myself for what’s to come. I opened the box and took out the same picture Dan showed me which was in Paul’s phone before passing it to Tyler with shaky hands. Tyler looked at it with confusion and narrowed his eyes at me.
“D-Dan was here.” I managed to swallow my nerves. “And he found that very same picture in Paul’s phone,” I said softly, trying to prevent the sobs from escaping.
“W-what but I don’t get it,” he muttered before looking away from the picture. “Isn’t this your mother?” he asked.
I nodded as a tear slipped from my eye.
“It is. And that’s the proble
m,” I said with a shaky voice. Tyler’s eyes stared at me with confusion and pain as he watched the tears run down my cheek.
“But I still don’t get why you’re crying, Gem. Please tell me, you’re starting to worry me,” he said as he took ahold of my hand. I pulled away and opened the shoebox once again, this time pointing out all the pictures and the diary inside. Tyler’s eyes widened when he saw the countless pictures of Paul and my mother.
“What the f*ck is all this?” He growled, taking ever single picture in his hand and examining it.
“Tyler,” I spoke, grabbing his attention. “It turns out that Paul and my mother were l-lovers.” I cried.
Tyler said nothing, he stared at me as if he just saw a ghost. He ran his hands through his hair and got up before pacing around the room.
“Crystal, you’re sh*tting with me right?” he asked as he stopped in front of me and bend on his knees so we were on the same eye level. He took my hand before squeezing it, staring at me with pain while I knew deep down that he was holding himself back from crying, from breaking down once again right in front of me.
I shook my head.
“I wish,” I whispered looking down, then took ahold of the diary.
“I-I read this.” My voice cracked once I noticed the look of horror written on Tyler’s face. He didn’t let me finish because he got up and started to pace once again.
“F*ck!” He cursed. “Please tell me they were only lovers but nothing really happened.” He begged as I noticed his eyes began to water. I gulped down the lump in my throat but couldn’t stop the sob which escaped me.
“Tyler, this is the truth.” I sobbed before getting up to hand him over the diary and opened the pages to the part where my mom revealed that I was Paul’s daughter. Tyler stared at the book as if he wanted it to burn in hell. Nevertheless, he took it anyway and for a moment everything was quiet as he read the lines which will soon ruin his life. The silence was suffocating me because I knew how this was going to end.
In disaster.
This was the calm before the storm.
I watched as Tyler’s eyes moved from line to line, a single tear slip out from his eye. He continued to stare at the book, before he turned around and grabbed a vase, throwing it to the wall as it smashed into several pieces. I flinched and took a step back but didn’t say anything. I watched in horror as the man I loved and cared about broke down once again. He was a mess.
“F*ck!” he yelled, smashing his hands to the wall. “This c-can’t be true,” he whispered to himself before turning to look at me. He then stalked towards me and held my shoulder in a tight grip.
“No-no this must be some kind of misunderstanding.” His voice cracked in desperation. I shook my head as the tears continued to fall.
“Tyler it’s not.” I sobbed. “You and I share the same father.”
“No!” he yelled backing away before looking back at the diary. He was already sobbing and shaking as he flipped through the pages.
“We can’t be siblings!” he shouted before looking back up at me.
“I love you!” he cried. “I can’t do this. This must be wrong.” He ran his hands through his hair before facing the wall and resting his forehead against it as he cried. He banged his fist as the other one held the diary close to him.
“I can’t fall in love with my sister!” he shouted. I let out a sob as I walked over to him.
“T-Tyler,” I whispered but backed away once he turned to look at me with dull eyes.
He shook his head furiously.
“No, this isn’t right,” he whispered as tears fell down his cheek. He took a step forward and looked at the dairy.
“Something’s wrong. The world can’t be that cruel.” He sobbed. He then flipped through some more pages and sank to the ground before letting out a loud cry.
“Tyler please don’t do this.” I cried, running up to him.
“Do what Crystal? I just found out that the girl I loved for years is actually my half sister!” he shouted before hitting his forehead with his fist. “I-I can’t handle the pain,” he yelled. “It’s too much! You were all that I had left! Now everything’s gone.”
I fell to the ground with him and took his hand as I sobbed out.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, shaking my head. “I wish this didn’t happen b-but it seems that the world is against us.”
Tyler shook his head and hid it in his hands, letting out a bunch of curse words before lifting his head up.
“No, this isn’t correct,” he said looking back at me with hope in his eyes. “We aren’t siblings. If we were then my mom would have said something. Think about it! Why would she ship us so badly if we shared the same father?” he asked.
My mouth fell open at what he said and I couldn’t help but agree. Why didn’t Emma ever say anything? She said that Paul got another woman pregnant but was so happy when she found out that Tyler and I got together. There was still something that we didn’t know about.
“You’re right,” I whispered. “Emma would have told us that we were siblings in the very beginning to prevent any conflicts but then what does this mean?” I asked pointing at the diary.
Tyler looked down at it and took a deep breath.
“I don’t know,” he whispered before opening it once again. “There must be something we’ve missed. Something that might give us some clues,” he muttered as he read through every page and flipped it in frustration when he found nothing.
“W-what about the very last pages?” I suggested. “I didn’t read them so maybe you’ll find something.”
Tyler looked up at me with his tired eyes but nodded anyway. He skipped to the last couple of pages and began to read. Whatever he was reading caused his brows to furrow in confusion. He then flipped to the last page and continued to read while I continue to watch his reaction. I saw his eyes light up as he read something.
“Tyler, what is it?” I asked.
He looked up at me and I immediately noticed the look of hope written across his features. He turned the notebook around so it was facing me and pointed to the very last paragraph on the last page.
“This doesn’t say much but it gives us some hope.”
“Some hope for what?” I asked.
Tyler pointed back to the diary.
“Read and you’ll see.”
So that’s what I did. I looked down at my mother’s writing and began to read.
‘My beautiful Crystal is almost five months old, and since she’s starting to grow, her looks have started to appear and I’ve noticed one thing. That she doesn’t look like Paul. At first I thought that was normal. I thought that she just looks more like me than him. Back then, I thought Paul was just jealous that his only daughter didn’t look like him which as why he started to eye her weirdly. Little did I know that jealousy wasn’t the only thing running in his mind. It was suspicion.
I couldn’t believe the words I heard yesterday coming out of his mouth. The words which left me confused but I knew if I denied it then Paul would get even more suspicious. Maybe he was starting to doubt that he was the father because of my past? Maybe he thought that I still held onto Sam? I couldn’t believe that Paul would actually doubt me and think that I still had feelings for my ex.
Still, I did it. I listened to what he asked me to do and the results will come out soon. And when they do, I’d like to see the look of defeat written on his face. I’d like to hear his apology for ever doubting me and his child because Paul demanded a DNA test.’
I stared at it for what seemed to be forever before looking back up at Tyler. His tears were gone but his eyes were still red and puffy.
“So what’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
Tyler placed the book back to the floor before taking my hand, looking deep into my eyes.
“It means that Paul was doubting that he was the father. We might not have enough clues but this is enough to know that you could still be the child of someone else.”
I fiddle
d with my fingers then took ahold of the dairy and read it once again.
“Who’s Sam?” I whispered, looking up at Tyler.
“I don’t know but this is enough to give me some hope.”
“Hope,” I whispered.
Tyler nodded.
“As you said before. Once my mom opens her eyes then things will get better,” he said before engulfing me in a warm hug.
Chapter 55
“Tyler,” I whispered, lifting my head off his shoulder to have a better look at him. We were still seated on the ground, not knowing what to do but just listening to the sound of our beating hearts. Just the silence was enough to comfort me and my depressing thoughts and fears. Thankfully, those fears have been minimized since Tyler got here. His presence always managed to calm me down even though we had to learn the truth which would haunt us for the rest of our lives.
“Hmm?” He hummed looking at me.
“Why don’t we take a DNA test to see if we are actually related?” I asked. “I mean what’s the point in waiting? Yes I do hope that Emma wakes up but I can’t wait any longer to find out.” I sighed looking down at the diary in my hands and placed it to the floor. I flipped to the last page only to see it empty. Nothing was there.
“There’s no more clues left,” I muttered under my breath. I then tilted my head up to look at Tyler when I heard him let out a long sigh. He nodded before speaking.
“Yeah, you’re right. We’ll see if we can get that done tomorrow,” he said.
“Okay that sounds good.” I smiled, trying to ease the tension. I really hoped that once we get the results, it would turn out to be good news.
“But…” Tyler hesitated, running his hand through his hair in frustration.
“But what?” I whispered nervously.
“B-but what happens if it turns out that we’re actually related?” His voice cracked in the end. I saw his eyes stare into the distance as worry overtook his features. written all over his face.