by Eva Brandt
I suppressed the urge to facepalm. That was like saying Hiroshima had been a minor explosion or Chernobyl a harmless accident. Judging by the expression the dean’s face, he was just as unimpressed as I was.
“Return to your quarters. The rest of us still have a feast to go to. We will discuss this in more detail at a later date.”
“Of course, Sir,” Mikael replied, “but first, we must decide who won.”
Everyone turned to look at me. My mind went blank. I couldn’t come up with anything to say that wouldn’t sound horribly rude or inappropriate. I’d already pointed out I didn’t agree with this kind of behavior, and I’d sort of understood what they’d been trying to tell me. Why more did they expect?
Also, how was I supposed to provide a coherent response, with Stefan right there, as naked as the day he was born? Now that the fighting was no longer an issue and with his wounds healing, there was nothing to distract me from the sight of his frankly delicious body.
As the seconds flew past with no answer from me, Gemma elbowed me in the gut. She kept most of her strength in check, but the sharp pain still made me snap out of my trance and come up with an adequate excuse. “Err... I suppose you were all impressive, in your own way. I’m afraid I’m not the best person to judge this kind of competition. I don’t have a real understanding of the difficulty of what you just did. So I guess it’s a draw?”
It was an evasive answer, but I was in luck and no one questioned it. In fact, Stefan, Mikael, and Callum all looked pleased. “A draw,” Stefan said. “Excellent. I agree.”
Dean Mephistopheles let out an exasperated sigh. “Oh, for Satan’s sake. Let’s just end this already. Callum, if you’re not too busy smirking, please handle the rest of the situation.”
Callum’s Cheshire grin just widened at the dean’s words, and I had a feeling I was missing something important. “Yes, Sir,” he said. “I will handle it.”
He jerked his head toward Stefan and Mikael. Without another word, they grabbed their clothes—or what was left of them, at least—and turned away.
As the princes of the school left the courtyard, the crowd began to disperse as well. “Damn,” Gemma said with a sigh. “There goes our fun, ruined.”
“You have an interesting definition of fun, Gemma,” I muttered under my breath.
She opened her mouth to reply, but the dean approached us before she could speak. “Ms. Michaelis, may have a word with you?”
Now that the confrontation between Stefan, Mikael, and to a lesser extent, Callum, was over, I became a little more self-conscious about Dean Mephistopheles’s presence and that whole incident in the village. I reminded myself that he was no different from Lilith. It didn’t matter that he was male and really hot, in a demonic kind of way. I didn’t have to overreact to this if nobody else did.
“Yes, of course, Sir,” I replied, feeling proud when my voice came out steady.
He nodded and shot me a small smirk that made me feel like he knew exactly what I’d been thinking about. “Normally, I’d introduce myself, but I believe you and I already know each other very well and we have other priorities.”
Eek. No, no, I wasn’t going there. Brain, back up, now.
Feeling my face flame, I shook my head and started to stammer. “I-I’m not sure what you mean, Sir.”
His smile faded and he arched a dark brow. “You don’t realize what you just suggested? During your exchange with Mr. Adamson, Mr. Schwarz, and Mr. Lost?”
Oh, God. Oh shit. This might not be about that thing in the village at all. I was torn between being relieved and horrified. What had I stumbled into because I didn’t understand some subtle quirk of demonic culture? “Is this going to be like the supernatural and paranormal thing? Because if so, I’ll just have to apologize to them or something.”
“I’m afraid it’s not so simple.” Dean Mephistopheles sighed. “You see, Ms. Michaelis, as you might have noticed, Mr. Schwarz is a hell-hound. While demonic in nature, hell-hounds aren’t supposed to be students at the school. They’re considered beasts, and as such, unsuited to the position of Satan.”
“What? I’ve never heard about anything like that.” Sure, Stefan was violent and several students—including Darling—had warned me to keep my distance, but he was still one of the ‘school princes’, which meant that he had a real chance to take over as the next devil. Nothing in my readings suggested shape-shifters were banned from attending the academy. In fact, I’d already determined that Olympia Fleece might be a feline shifter of some kind.
The dean’s red eyes flashed with a barely veiled anger. “Hell-hounds aren’t like regular shape-shifters and Stefan’s story isn’t mine to tell. But that’s not really the point here. I believe you’re a little uninformed about the exact dynamics of the relationship between those three, which may lead to problems in the future.”
I couldn’t disagree with that. Were they friends? Enemies? Dating? All of the above? If the dean would give me a clear answer about it, I’d be so relieved I might actually kiss him.
Another memory of him in the village coursed through my mind. I quickly banished all thoughts that involved an association between Dean Mephistopheles and kissing. I wouldn’t do any of that, but I’d thank him and be nice anyway.
“If you can shed some light on the matter, Sir, I’d be very grateful,” I said.
Mephistopheles did just that, although his words almost made me wish he hadn’t explained at all. “As you might have realized, this little battle was, at least in part, about winning your... heart and apologizing to you for part slights. Since you didn’t pick a clear winner, you basically stated that you were interested in all of them equally and would like to start a four-way relationship with them.”
What? But I’d never said anything like that! Sure, I thought they were attractive, but a relationship was based on more than just the physical.
Ignoring my dismay, the dean continued to speak. “You and your... potential lovers don’t know each other that well, so it stands to reason that you’d want to have them prove themselves a little more before you make a choice. Normally, this might have made the individuals in question fight again. Sometimes, the battles that erupt can result in the deaths of the combatants, although, of course, we try to prevent that here.
“In any case, your situation is unusual precisely because of Mr. Schwarz. You see, as you might recall, we at the academy treasure familiars and consider them the equals of their companions. As such, it is, in theory, possible for a familiar to participate in the classes as an actual student. Mr. Schwarz took advantage of that little loophole and joined the student body, as Mr. Adamson’s familiar.”
What the actual fuck? That was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever heard.
“But he’s a person,” I protested, once again feeling like I’d fallen into some kind of twisted anime. “No matter what opinions the others might have, you can’t exactly ignore that.”
The dean shrugged. “So is every other familiar, no matter what species he or she might belong to. Mr. Schwarz’s approach worked out very well, and it is what allowed him to become one of the princes of the school.
“That being said, due to the unique bond between him and Mr. Adamson, accepting one naturally means that you accept both of them. However, you are in The House of Envy, which means that Mikael has more of a connection to you than they do. Through your words, you’ve basically stated that you are open to a polyandrous relationship with them.”
I wanted to scream. “Thank you for telling me this, Sir,” I replied between gritted teeth. “It’s all a big misunderstanding. I’ll make sure to clarify it soon, with the individuals in question.”
“It was my pleasure, Ms. Michaelis. Had I known you were unaware of their connection, I would’ve approached you sooner.”
Somehow, I doubted that. He seemed to find my predicament amusing. Then again, he was a demon, so maybe that wasn’t so surprising. “If you’ll excuse me, Sir,” I said, “I should probably trac
k them down.”
“Of course.” He took a step closer to me, his wing shielding us from view as he leaned over to whisper in my ear. “But one last thing. In the future, do try to stay out of the village. It’s not a place students should go to.”
His words and demeanor were so mortifying that I fled without providing a reply. And even if I fully intended to find those crazy boys and point out the error in their logic, I ended up taking refuge in my room instead.
“This is ridiculous,” I told Shiro. “What do they want with me anyway? I’m not that special.”
Shiro woofed, sounding almost outraged by my words. “Yes, okay, maybe I’m special to you, but that’s different.”
Did it really matter, though? In the end, if I didn’t want to have anything to do with them, they couldn’t force me. And I’d already made my decision. I wouldn’t let the insanity of The Academy of the Devil get to me. I was not a demon and I would never forget where I came from. I would never forget my humanity. If someone here wanted to win my heart, they’d have to try a little harder than engage in a schoolyard brawl.
The Scholomance
The next day
Part of the problem when it came to my next to non-existent relationship with the so-called princes of the school was the fact that we didn’t share a lot of classes. The only one I crossed paths with on a regular basis was Mikael, both in class and in the dorms.
I had no idea how to track down the elusive other two, so instead, I took the logical approach and cornered Mikael. It was both easy and embarrassing. For obvious reasons, I could only do it in the common room, which meant that my housemates saw the whole thing. They giggled like asylum escapees when they watched me grab the head of our House and pull him aside. Even the Leviathan in the painting seemed to wriggle around in satisfaction.
I was not amused.
In an attempt to avoid further disaster, I dragged Mikael into one of the side branches of our tree-like tower. I had no intention of taking him to my room, since that way lay madness.
Mikael didn’t seem put out by this. As soon as we were behind closed doors, he shot me a smile that made heat coil deep inside my core. “You wanted to talk to me, Alyssa?” he asked.
“Yes, actually,” I replied, chastising myself for forgetting what I’d come here to do, if only for a moment. “It’s about yesterday. I appreciate the attention and the naked fighting, but I think you’re all barking up the wrong tree. I’m not really interested in a relationship with anyone at the school.”
Mikael’s smile vanished so quickly that the shift in his demeanor almost gave me whiplash. “You’re not? But then why...”
He trailed off, as if he’d suddenly had a dawning realization. “When you returned TB to me, you really were just being nice, weren’t you? Because you wanted TB to be safe.”
“Of course,” I answered. “I thought we cleared that up at the beginning of the year, when you helped me out in the library.”
Was he still hung up over that little thing? Surely, that wasn’t why he’d decided he wanted to have a sweeping, whirlwind romance with me. I liked his snake, but that didn’t mean I liked him, not romantically, at least.
Had he thought, all this time, that I’d been trying to hit on him by helping TB? But even if that was the case, why had Stefan and Callum joined in on his little misguided quest?
More confused than ever, I decided I’d never understand demons and it was better to not ask at all. “I’m sorry,” I said, although I didn’t feel like I owed him an apology. “I should’ve maybe been a little clearer.”
Mikael shook his head adamantly. “No, I understand now. The others and I were getting ahead of ourselves, especially considering our... circumstances. But even if you don’t see us that way now, is there any chance that you might, in the future?”
I immediately wanted to say ‘no’. That had been the whole point of this conversation, to make him realize that I had no interest in hooking up with him or any of the others.
For some reason, what came out of my mouth was entirely different. “I don’t know. Maybe. I’m not sure.”
What the fuck, brain? You’ve failed me yet again! Maybe? How was I ever going to date a guy who thought I was a lower life form?
Trying to salvage at least something out of this disaster, I added, “This is just happening a little too fast for me. I thought you guys hated me for being human. You can’t possibly expect me to think you had a change of heart, overnight.”
Mikael blinked at me, as if genuinely surprised by my words. Then, much to my surprise and annoyance, he burst into laughter. “Oh, Alyssa, we never hated you. Nobody here did. Believe me, if we’d hated you, insults would be the last thing you’d have to worry about. True, some people don’t like that you’re human, but no one believes you have a chance at being Satan. On the other hand, you’re powerful and friendly enough, so you could become useful for any future Satan, should one of us be able to take up that role within your lifetime.
“Also, from an objective point of view, you’re very attractive, so of course we’re interested in you.”
I sort of wanted to punch him in the face, but self-preservation once again denied me of that simple pleasure. “That might be the case, but I still don’t appreciate being referred to as an inferior slut. So if you do want to have anything with me, start there. You might think it’s acceptable, but I don’t. And do tell the others that, as well. It’s tougher to track them down, and I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to chase them all over the school.”
“I’ll let them know,” Mikael answered, now completely serious. “We’ll do better, Alyssa. That, I can promise you.”
He looked like he meant it, and that frightened me a little. “Okay. You... You do that then. I’ll just go. I have homework. And classes. Right. Bye.”
I rushed out of the room without looking back. Truth be told, I wasn’t proud of my meek behavior. I was making a habit out of this, and it wasn’t something I liked. But I’d never been all that popular in high school, and I didn’t how to handle suddenly being attractive for the three hottest guys in my new school.
Maybe they’d change their minds once they realized I wasn’t worth the trouble. After all, they had plenty of girls more than ready to give them whatever they wanted and needed. They had no reason to woo me, or whatever ridiculous thing had occurred to them. They’d lose interest eventually and see sense.
I tried very hard to not think about why the idea disappointed me.
* * *
Callum, Stefan, and Mikael didn’t change their minds. In fact, over the next weeks, it became obvious that my conversation with Mikael had just made them more determined to win me over.
Since I’d been foolish enough to point out that I didn’t see enough of Stefan and Callum to actually deem them adequate partners, the duo made it their business to drop by to see me every day. They ate at least one meal at my house’s table, much to the not-so-secret delight of my housemates. They didn’t push me, but they still made it clear that they were interested.
In early December, gifts started popping up around my classrooms. They were never huge things I could make a fuss about, because they were often not romantic in nature. My supply of Always ran out around the beginning of the month, at which point I realized in horror I had no place to buy any hygiene supplies on the island. Hair products were provided by the school, but having a period was apparently an issue they hadn’t deemed noteworthy. The next morning, a Max Pack just manifested next to my bed. I didn’t know if that was creepy or really thoughtful, but I was too embarrassed about it to mention it, since I couldn’t be sure the trio were behind the incident in the first place.
On another occasion, a book I’d desperately needed showed up in my bag. At least three times a week, I received either flowers or chocolates. I kept the flowers and gave most of the chocolates to my dorm mates, feeling increasingly put out.
Material gifts didn’t mean I had to suddenly fall at their fee
t and agree to be their girlfriend, but still, I had to admit a part of me liked the attention. On the other hand, I was still wary of this behavior. My divided emotions made it impossible for me to approach any of them and have an actual conversation about it.
“I think it’s sweet,” Yolanda said, one morning, as we sat at the table of The House of Envy, having breakfast. “The way they dote on you and try to court you.”
I took a sip of my tea, suspiciously eyeing Callum, Stefan, and Mikael over the rim of the cup. They’d been quiet today, huddling together at the other side of the table. They were planning something. But what?
Lena slapped my arm, drawing my attention away from the trio. “Stop glaring at them. They’re not going to attack you. Not unless you’re into that, in which case, they’ll happily do it.”
I ignored the latter sentence and the images it stirred in my head. “Why are you so invested in this anyway? Why would you want me to be with them?”
“Is it that hard to believe that we just want to see you happy?”
I was grateful I hadn’t been chewing on anything at the time, because if I had, I might have choked on my food. “Yes,” I replied. “From the moment I stepped into this school, people have made it clear that demons don’t do anything unless it’s for their own self-interest, so I find it very odd that you’d try to help us with our relationship.”
“It is for our own self-interest,” Yolanda pointed out. “If you knew how much we’re enjoying the whole thing, you wouldn’t be questioning us at all.”
She was probably telling the truth and, to her, it made complete sense to act like this, even if they might not like me the rest of the time. Then again, according to Mikael, that wasn’t true either, so what the hell did I know? Maybe they did consider me a potential asset and someone worth knowing in the future. This was too fucking confusing.