by Lyssa Layne
In the past, my sexual relationships with women have always started fast. Yet, here I have the most glorious woman, naked and in the tub with me, and even though sex is definitely in my thoughts, I know I can live without it until she’s ready. Being with Abbie is more important than anything else.
We’ve been in the tub for nearly an hour. Abbie looked shy and uncomfortable at first, but she soon relaxed and let me take care of her. When the water finally gets cold, Abbie gets out and I enjoy the sight. She wraps herself in a towel and lets her skin dry. I watch unashamedly as she slips the t-shirt back on and undoes her hair from the loose knot she had it tied in. She settles on the counter and watches me in the bathtub, raising one eyebrow. I think it’s my cue to get out of the water. She throws me a towel as I step out and she watches as I dry off and put on a pair of boxers.
Abbie leads the way back into the bedroom and settles on the bed, sliding under the sheets. My gut is telling me to join her, but I hesitate, trying to ascertain if I have the willpower to be in bed with her without trying anything. When I finally join her, she rests her head on my shoulder. There’s no need to talk; she's fast asleep within a couple of minutes. I settle back to watch some TV and smooth her hair with my fingers, enjoying every second. Her breathing isn’t steady, and she grips the skin on my chest. It doesn’t hurt, but I wonder why she's doing it, thinking she might be having a nightmare.
“Presley?'' She murmurs my name with her eyes closed.
''Yeah?'' I'm surprised to hear her voice; I honestly thought she was asleep.
''I think I love you.'' I heard it, she said it aloud and I know she’s dreaming.
''Really?'' I can’t help myself, I want confirmation.
''Mmm hmm...'' She groans softly. ''It smells so good in here. Are you cooking or something?''
No doubt about it, she's definitely sleeping. ''Yeah, we're having pancakes with fresh strawberries.'' I smile to myself.
She is so adorable. I continue smoothing her hair while I try to control my laughter, and fail miserably. Her head jiggles against my chest as I try to keep my amusement in check.
She clears her throat. ''Are you laughing or crying?'' she mumbles. I wonder if she's awake now.
''I'm laughing. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.'' I try harder to control myself.
''Mmm hmm.'' She kisses my chest and goes back to sleep. This time, I quickly join her and settle into a deep sleep.
***
For some reason, ever since I woke up, I’ve been craving pancakes. I still can't help but chuckle every time I think about her talking in her sleep. I suggested to Abbie that we go out to eat breakfast, and she happily agrees.
We’re entering a restaurant in Times Square for breakfast and being seated, when I hear this dark-haired, dark-skinned guy who yells from the back of the restaurant. ''Abbie Rylee! What are you doing here?”
The guy is way too happy to see her. He jogs to the front of the restaurant and scoops Abbie into his arms, hugging her tightly – a little too tightly for my tastes. Abbie is all smiles, almost ignoring me as she hugs this guy back. It bugs the crap out of me, but I keep my cool and wait to discover who the hell he is.
''Cam, it's been so long! What are you doing here?'' Abbie looks happy and her smile is radiant.
''I’m just here for a few days,'' the guy responds.
So are we, and now you’re ruining my precious time with her, I think to myself.
''Me too! Where do you live now?'' she asks.
Who is this guy, and why is she so interested?
''I live in South Carolina, and I hate it so bad! I'm moving back to the West coast next week. Portland or Seattle, I’m not sure which yet,'' he explains. ''I'm supposed to hear back from a couple of places where I applied for a job in the next day or two.''
Portland, definitely Portland, I think to myself.
''I’m in Seattle,'' Abbie announces.
Jesus Christ, Abbie. Are you trying to kill me here? I recognize that I’m jealous and I hate myself for it.
''Give me your phone—I’ll add my number and you can give me a call.'' Abbie hands him her phone, totally ignoring both the waitress and me. Suddenly, she seems to recall that I’m there. ''Presley! I'm so sorry; this is my friend, Cam. We’ve known each other since we were born. Cam, this is my...'' She hesitates and I see her thinking it over for a split-second before she continues. ''Boyfriend, yes, this is my boyfriend, Presley Williams.'' It soothes my ego a little when I hear her sounding so proud to call me her boyfriend.
''Hey, man, nice to meet you.'' Cam says as we shake hands and I'm pleased that she called me her boyfriend. At least this guy knows she’s mine.
Fuck, I sound like such a loser.
Cam continues. ''Well Abbie, it's good to see you, you look great. But my breakfast has been served and I’m starving. We’ll keep in touch, okay?''
''Sure! Bye, Cam.'' She gives him a quick hug, and he kisses her forehead, irritating the fuck out of me.
She slides her hand into mine and squeezes my fingers. ''I’m sorry about that. Cam has been my best friend for years. Our dads were best friends, which is how Cam and I met.''
''It’s okay, Abbie.'' I kiss her cheek, beginning to calm down.
I catch the expression on her face, she seems nervous. She's biting her lip, and not in a sexy way. ''What’s wrong, Abbie?''
''Do you want to know? I mean... I don't know you all that well yet. I didn’t plan this, and I’m not sure whether to lie to your face or just pretend it isn’t important.''
''Just tell me.'' I’m expecting the worst now.
''He was my best friend, but he was also... my boyfriend. My first serious boyfriend.'' She stares at her fingers, and I can see she's not sure how to deal with this.
I decide to behave like a grown-up, even if I’m jealous. “We all have a past, Abbie. He’s a part of who you are now.''
''Yeah... I guess he is.'' I see a hint of a smile, but she's holding back.
''How long ago did you date?'' I have to know. I suspect she dated him before Dean, so at least a few years ago.
''We started dating when I was fifteen and broke up when I was twenty one. We started dating after I moved in with my dad.'' She feigns great interest in the menu. ''We dated for a pretty long time. I broke up with him.''
I don't know what to say. Should I say anything? I'm such an ass. I am so not good at this.
Abbie continues speaking, her eyes still fixed on the menu. ''He wanted to get married and I didn't. It freaked me out and I broke up with him, instead of saying yes when he proposed. I don't regret it... at all.'' She's not comfortable; she looks anxious. She runs her fingers through her long golden-blonde hair, and covers her eyes with her hands for a moment, composing herself.
I stay silent. If she feels like saying more she will. I won't force her.
A few, painful minutes later, Abbie continued. ''Cam was convinced I was the one, but in the last year we were together we grew apart. I didn’t want to get married so soon. He would have wanted me to get pregnant soon after, and I was...I ... I was definitely not ready to raise kids. I'm not convinced I would have been a good mom. My mom was not exactly the best and I worry that I didn’t have a good role model.'' She took a sip of the coffee the waitress had delivered. ''Afterwards, I moved out of Portland and tried to start a new life in Seattle. I met Dean not long afterwards.''
''Okay, Abbie. That's a lot of information, but I see and understand your position,'' I try to reassure her, but a million questions are running through my own head. Do I want to marry her? Would she say yes? Would she be ready? Would I be ready? What about kids? So many questions, none of which I intended to ask her right now. I didn’t want to risk ruining everything.
It’s been at least three years since she broke up with this guy; she might have changed her mind by now. Shit. I'm going crazy here. Thinking about marriage and kids, and I've only been with her for a couple of days. I need to calm the fuck down. If she's the one, she'll still
be the one a year from now.
It doesn't change anything. But yeah, for the first time of my life, I think I can see my happily ever after. It makes me happy just thinking about it.
I draw myself out of my own head enough to try and reassure her. ''Abbie, I’m sure you’ll be a great mother. It has nothing to do with the way your own mother was. If you know what it’s like to have a mom like yours, you know exactly what to avoid doing. Regardless, I'm sure you’d be a wonderful mom.''
''Are you saying you want us to have kids?'' She raises one eyebrow, mocking me.
''You know what I mean. Obviously in the future, maybe, but certainly not now. I've only known you for a couple of days'' I backpedal rapidly. I shouldn't have mentioned kids. I don't want her running for the hills. Fuck, I’m an idiot.
''I know, I know... I’m just giving you a hard time.'' She smiles and my heart melts. ''I would have to meet the right one, too.'' Now she's teasing me.
''Yeah, of course.'' I say, trying my best to look indifferent.
She laughs aloud. ''You are the worst actor I’ve ever seen.'' She takes another sip of her coffee. ''Presley, I do want kids, so don’t worry. Just give me a few more months, or years—deal?''
I sigh with relief. ''Deal.''
We both laugh. I’m still embarrassed by what I just blurted out. I wish I could start this whole day over again. I want to pull my beanie over my face and hide. Seriously, we’ve known each other for about five minutes and we’re sitting here talking kids and marriage. Being around her has obviously affected my brain.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Abbie
Pancakes. So warm. So delicious. I think I've been craving them. They’re comforting.
''Enjoying your pancakes, Ms. Rylee?'' Presley asks, with a huge grin on his face.
''Yes, why are you asking?'' I question him.
''Have you ever heard of sleep talking?'' he teases.
''What? I said I wanted to eat pancakes when I was asleep?'' I ask.
''You didn’t exactly say that, but...''
''Presley, don’t do this... tell me what I said. Please?'' I beg him for the truth, and can feel the heat rising in my cheeks.
''Well, first of all, you said you love me...'' His grey eyes are focused on my lips. I bite them, just to torment him. ''Then you asked if I was cooking or something, and I may have mentioned pancakes.''
''So you’re responsible if I gain weight and can’t get into my jeans.''
He takes a generous bite of his own pancakes and continues to stare. So sensual, it’s almost too much for me to deal with.
''You should know, it's impolite to stare.'' I say, dipping my finger in the whipped cream on my plate and smearing some onto his nose. He grabs my finger and sucks on it until there is no whipped cream left. It's erotic. I'm probably scarlet red by now and breathless. I didn’t expect this at all. He takes a napkin to wipe off his nose.
''Just so you know, I love you too,'' he declares huskily.
He. Loves. Me.
I can’t find any words... I’m speechless. So much has happened during our breakfast. First Cameron, and then the discussion regarding marriage and kids, and now this. I can’t say it's going too fast, because I feel the same way, but it's just too much to deal with all at the same time.
I see Cameron walking towards us with his boyish smile. It feels like only yesterday when we were together. I think I need a time out now.
''Abbie, relax, it's just me. You look like you’ve seen a ghost. I just wanted to say ’bye. I’ll call you sometime next week, okay?''
With a breathless giggle, I nod. ''Sure, call me please. Take care, Cam.'' I hug him briefly and he leaves with the group of people he was seated with.
Presley stands up, looking embarrassed. ''I’m sorry, I’m an idiot. I shouldn't have said it so soon. Not here, with your ex in the same building. Please forgive me,'' he pleads. ''I... don’t get me wrong... I...''
''Shut up, Presley.'' He appears shocked by my announcement, but I smile warmly, my most radiant smile. ''I feel the same way... you just took me by surprise. There’s a lot going on in my head this morning, and I’m overwhelmed. Cam... I never thought he would talk to me again, and on top of that, there’s you. How happy you make me; you show me another version of what a life as a couple can be. I like it very much. It seems too good to be true.''
''That’s what you do to me, too.'' He takes my hand in his. ''Are you finished?''
I take a last sip of coffee and get up from my seat. I wrap my arms around him and hold him tightly against me. I kiss his lips before I let him go. ''Come on, now I definitely need some fresh air.''
He keeps my hand in his and he lightly kisses my palm, never taking his grey eyes off of me. There's this need building in me, I want him against my skin, I want to feel him. Once again, it’s a new feeling. I've never wanted someone so much in my life.
It's a warm morning in New York City, as we continue our little walk. We have to be back at the airport by mid-afternoon to catch our flight home. My right arm is around Presley’s waist, my finger tucked into his belt loop, while his arm is around my shoulders.
We pass by a number of dress boutiques, before a bookstore catches my eye.
''Can I go in this store, please?'' I beg. I adore books. Wherever I go, I have to go into bookstores. The smell of the books and the way they display everything. I'm a bookworm; there is no way I can survive without them.
''Yeah, of course. I’ll meet you inside in fifteen minutes, okay?''
''Sure.'' I enter the store and it’s a dream come true. I’ve never seen a bookstore which was so huge before. I walk up and down the many aisles. I'm not buying any books, but I read some prologues. Nothing catches my eye and, admittedly I have plenty to read at home. I was mainly intrigued by the store itself. It’s huge. I'm amazed by the quantity of books to be found here. No dust on any of the shelves, lots of staff working on the floor, and there's even a little area for kids to sit and enjoy reading. I love it. I’m sure I could work here and never get bored.
''Abbie, I’ve been looking all over the place for you,'' Presley sighs when he finally catches up with me.
''This place is huge.” I glance around, inhaling the scent of new books. “This is my version of paradise.''
''Hmmm... I had another version of paradise in mind,'' Presley whispers against my ear.
What? Presley? Is he teasing me or something? ''I guess you’ll have to show me yours.''
''I’m counting on it,'' he responds. His smile, right here and now, is killing me. He leans toward me, kissing my lips and circling his arm around my waist.
Sex... it’s on my mind, more than it should be. I mean, it was only a few weeks ago, and I was still with Dean and thinking about what my freedom would be like, wishing to be single. A lot has happened since then.
I've never fallen for someone so fast in my entire life. I think I've discovered my soul mate; my other half. I want him like I've never wanted anyone before. I know he's not going to push me for sex, or force me into anything before I’m ready. Presley was there the night of the break up with Dean, and I think he’s giving me time to make up my mind. He respects me and I appreciate it greatly. I just need to find the courage to admit to myself that I’m ready to go for it with him. I have this desperate need in me and it’s killing me. I want him, so badly.
It’s time.
We're standing in the middle of Times Square, surrounded by noise, massive billboards, crowds of people and dozens of yellow cabs. I could stand here for hours and never get bored; there are so many things to see. The vendors are selling pretzels and roasted nuts on the street. The famous naked cowboy is here too, trying to make a few dollars by entertaining the tourists. It's overwhelming. People live here permanently. This must be a crazy lifestyle to deal with day-to-day.
Presley's making his way through the crowds, holding my hand, never letting go. He stops in the entrance to an alleyway, and with his other hand, he pulls a small rectangula
r box from his jean pocket, offering it to me. ''When you went in the bookstore, I stayed outside because I had a few phone calls to make. There was a jewelry boutique next to the bookstore, and I saw this in the window. Please don’t run for the hills, I know it’s a lot, and it’s too fast, but I had to buy it for you. I just had to.''
He’s taken my breath away once again. He opens the box and I see a white gold chain, holding two little pendants. One of the pendants is a perfect representation of me. He's so thoughtful. It's a tiny little book. The other one is what we both share – a heart. I'm so touched by the gesture; tears are spilling down my cheeks. Everything around us disappears and in my eyes, I can only see Presley. There’s only us, in the entire city of New York. I am happy, so incredibly happy.
''Thank you, Presley.'' I dry the tears on my cheeks with the back of my hand. ''It’s a lot, I have to admit, but I think it’s a wonderful representation of who we are. It’s perfect. Thank you, so much.''
Presley takes the necklace from the box and he places it around my neck. His scent surrounds me. I love it. My heart is blooming with love.
''Presley?''
''Yeah, Abbie?''
''I am falling in love with you,'' I tell him in a soft, barely audible voice.
''I know. I am, too.'' He kisses my forehead and then my lips.
''I’m never going to take it off, not ever.''
His heart is lying over my own beating heart. It’s a sensation I adore.
I’ll never forget this adventure in New York City. So much has happened in such a short period of time. When we got here, I knew I held strong feelings for him but now, at the end of the trip, I know I’m falling hard for him. I wish I could call my dad and let him know that I’ve met someone who is so wonderful. I want to scream it out loud, so everybody knows how blessed I am.