by Lyssa Layne
''Yes, Presley. My answer is yes. I'll marry you. I've been dreaming of becoming Mrs. Williams, since the first day I met you.'' She places her trembling hand in mine. The expression on her face is priceless.
Am I dreaming? Please tell me that I’m not...
“My feelings for you are so strong, Abbie. I never thought it was possible to love someone so much, until I met you.”
“I feel the same way, Presley.'' She smiled as she placed her hands against my cheeks and gazed into my eyes.
I wish I had a ring to place on her finger… but she smiles again and I know she’s okay with my improvised proposal.
“You make me happy,'' she says.
“I think about you all the time. I didn't know the meaning of love before you came into my life, and I can’t imagine it without you.'' I’m speaking from my heart.
''Okay, stop now, or I’m going to start crying again. May I have another kiss from my future husband?''
''Sure, Mrs. Presley.'' I tease.
She grins at the sound of her future name. ''Not yet.''
''Soon, very soon,'' I counter with a delighted grin of my own.
***
Dwayne's sitting at the kitchen table with all the funeral papers spread out before him. He and Abbie have picked Erin’s clothes for the funeral director to dress her in. I know there are still some arrangements to be made, but I wasn’t certain it was my place to offer to help.
''Have you ever been through a funeral before, Presley?'' Dwayne asks curiously.
''My mom died, but we didn't even get to see her before she died. We weren't invited to the funeral. She had a new life in Italy, so we found out about it later.''
Dwayne frowned. ''I'm sorry about that, Presley.''
''Don’t be. That's how life works sometimes.'' I look out the window. Cameron and Abbie are talking together. ''We can’t control everything. Death is one thing we definitely can’t control. We all know it will happen, but nobody knows when.''
''You’re in your twenties and you’re giving me lessons in life.'' Dwayne laughs. It’s the first time I’ve seen him laugh or even seen a smile on his face. He’s a nice man; unfortunately, I’ve met him during such a difficult time. I wish we could have met under better circumstances.
''Well, it's the way I see it. We've got to enjoy the life we have, because you never know when it will end.''
''You’re right. I'm sorry, Presley, but I need to find a singer or musician of some sort for the ceremony. If you’ll excuse me.''
Dwayne has been spending a lot of time planning the funeral. Erin and Dwayne didn't have enough time to talk about the details, or maybe they just didn't want to face the reality of what was approaching. The poor man has had to struggle with all the arrangements himself. If I was in his shoes, I don’t think I would ever survive it. This man has an admirable strength about him and I just hope to be that strong a man for Abbie for the rest of our lives.
Cameron
I'm completely lost. I’ve lost her. She’s getting married. She said yes this time. It hurts. I offered her the same thing, but she turned me down. I don't know if I should stay here or not. I’m so confused. As a friend, I should stay here to support her, but I don't feel like I'm wanted. She has Presley now, and clearly she loves him more than anything. Me. The words she told me are engraved in my head and I won’t stop hearing them.
“I'm so sorry Cam. I loved you when we were together, and I still care about you, but I couldn’t marry you. We didn’t want the same things back then. We were both young. I was too young to commit.”
“Now. What about now, Abbie? What do you want now that you didn’t want three years ago?”
“You wanted a family. I wasn’t ready.”
“You are now?” I was bitter about the idea of her getting married.
“Maybe. I don’t know. Anyway it’s not the point. I agreed to marry Presley. I know this is a difficult decision for you to accept, but I hope, even if it makes me the most selfish woman in the world, that we can be friends. I need a friend like you in my life, Cam. I do.”
I hate my life right now. I want to be mad at her, but I can’t. All my life, I dreamed I would marry her, and cherish her. I wanted to have kids with her so badly. My dream pushed her away, and now I’m paying the price. She's marrying some other guy that she just met. I want to leave, and let her be with her future husband. I'm not useful now, am I? Maybe I’ll come back. Later.
Now that she’s done breaking my heart, I get on my Ninja and speed away on the highway. I have nowhere to go here. I don’t have a place to stay, I don’t have friends. Should I drive back home now? It’s one hell of a ride, and that deters me. The funeral is within the next few days. I can't leave now, but the pain I feel has me wanting nothing more than to escape. My heart, my stomach, and my head are throbbing. Why did I get myself into a situation like this? I was a fool to hope that I could have her back.
I'm going fast, way too fast, but it’s making me feel better. It soothes my anger and the pain I feel is replaced by adrenaline. Immature, that’s what I am. If I could only know how to get rid of the emotions I feel. Everything is so mixed up within my head. I take the next exit leading me to the beach. Once my evil machine is parked, I walk down the beach and reach the water. I look far away at the horizon and it’s empty: no boats, no birds, only the ocean and sky. It’s empty, just like me. I sit on the sand and because I can't hold them anymore, I cry like I haven’t cried in a very long time. I’m crying, but at the same time I’m so angry with myself. I get up and walk to the small pub across from the street. I order myself a beer and then a second, third and fourth.
After a few hours of intense thinking, I know I can't go on with my life if I don’t accept the fact that I lost her as a girlfriend. It’s about damn time that I finally open my eyes and see the woman she is. She is still my Abbie, but she's grown into an intelligent young woman, and that’s all I should be thankful for. She got her degrees like she wanted; she worked hard like she said she would. She achieved every goal she had planned early in her life. I'm proud of her, and I understand it would be my loss to leave and never contact her again. I want her friendship, it’s all that matters.
But right now, I’m afraid I can’t face Abbie. I need some alone time. I need to find a hotel room where I can crash for the night. And I definitely need another drink.
Abbie
I can’t believe he asked me to marry him. He truly did it, and it seems like a dream.
Mom would be happy for me. She seemed to like Presley when she met him. The smile she had on her face when she saw him enter the room was priceless.
Presley didn’t say anything about it, but I noticed his new tattoo. I know it’s related to me and is a testament to how much he cares about me. I fucking love it. I think it demonstrates how much he missed me and how much he loves me. I want him to mark me, one day soon. I want his art on my body.
While Presley has his arm wrapped around me, kissing me and loving me, my thoughts are disrupted by the sound of the Ninja driving away. Cameron's leaving? He didn’t even say goodbye. I know this isn’t a good thing. I hope he wouldn’t just leave without saying goodbye. I run into my room to discover his backpack is gone. Everything is gone, but a note lying on the bed.
Abbie,
I’m sorry. I have to leave. I need to be alone for a while.
Don’t worry, I’ll see you at the funeral.
Love always,
Cam
I hate this, and I’m certain I’m responsible for him leaving. I fucked up. I’ve broken his heart again. The conversation we had after Presley’s proposal obviously affected him more than I’d imagined. There wasn’t any other way to tell him. Presley and I are going to get married, and Cameron needed to hear that news from me. It was never going to be easy for him. We share too much history. Right now, I just wish I could hug him tightly and tell him I'm sorry, even though I know it won’t fix the problem.
I need to tell Presley about Camero
n being upset, and his sudden departure. Presley might be able to help me figure out what to do, or what I should say to Cameron to settle things between us.
Presley and I both wait for his return at my mother's house. I refuse to leave her place in case he returns. My future husband offers to get Dwayne and me something to eat. I feel bad to let him go to the restaurant alone to pick up the food, but I need to talk to Cam as soon as he gets here.
The sun is down, it’s getting late and Cam hasn’t returned. I don’t think he’s planning on coming back tonight or maybe even tomorrow. He obviously needs a break and I have to respect that. I have to give him time to come to terms with what’s happening. But I hate to think of him, alone and hurting.
***
Two days later.
The day has come—my mother’s funeral. I'm sitting on a chair besides Mom’s coffin. Although I haven’t spent time with her in years, she was never the type who spent hours in the bathroom each morning getting ready. She was a natural beauty. Even on her last day, I still thought she was beautiful. Tears roll down my cheeks as the thoughts of her passes through my mind.
Presley is on the phone. His family's been calling him regularly and he’s been fielding phone calls all morning. I spoke with Joy-Anna and Alicia earlier. They sent their sympathies and both said they wished they could come and support me. I think it's great that they want to be here, but all I want is to get this funeral over with and go back home. It’s way too hot here and I'm tired of everyone watching me, as if they expect me to break down. I’m not. I’m strong, and I've been through this situation before. This trip to South Carolina has taught me a lot. How much I missed out on by avoiding my mom, and how much I'm going to miss her now.
Presley is walking towards me. I don't know what’s going on, but there is something weird about his expression. It seems as if he's trying to hide a smile.
''Hello, future Mrs. Williams. Will you come with me, please?'' Presley offers me his left hand and I immediately take it. He positions me by his side and kisses the back of my hand. For some strange reason, he seems nervous. He steers me towards the entrance of the funeral home.
When I glance up, I’m stunned to see Presley’s family standing together, waiting for us at the entrance of the funeral home.
''They came for me?'' I’m deeply touched by the gesture.
''Yeah. They thought it was important to be here for you.''
A rush of emotions runs through me. Happy emotions. I’m overwhelmed by their love and support. I appreciated their phone call; that alone was more than enough, but this is a clear statement of how much they care for me.
''Thank you. Thank you so much, Presley.''
''You should thank my dad and Joy. I have nothing to do with this. He organized getting everyone here, after Joy told him about the situation. He's looking forward to meeting you.''
I see a handsome man approaching us, and an angelic woman with long brown hair is by his side. They’re holding hands and make a striking couple. Both are wearing elegant black for the funeral.
Presley does the introductions. ''Bentley, Lucia, this is Abbie Rylee, my fiancée.''
Everyone’s eyes are abruptly focused on us. They obviously don't know we’re engaged. ''I asked Abbie to be my wife, and she’s said yes,'' Presley explains with a stunning smile. He kisses my temple and we’re suddenly surrounded by his family, all laughing and offering us congratulations. I can't stop smiling and crying. Joy-Anna and Alicia give me the biggest hugs I’ve ever had, and they all join in for a group hug. Lucia gives me a warm hug. It surprises me how comfortable I am, even though I've never met her before and I haven’t heard much about her. It’s a bit of a shock to have her be so demonstrative.
Next to me, Presley is standing with his father. They are facing one another, and the moment feels terribly awkward and cold. They remain silent, their eyes locked in a cool gaze.
“Congratulations, Presley.” Bentley finally announces.
“Thank you…for coming,” Presley mutters. The joy I usually see in his eyes, the spark of emotion I love, isn’t there. His face is expressionless.
“I think we need to have a talk, son,” Bentley says quietly.
“Why now?” Presley asks belligerently.
“Because it’s time we act like adults, Presley. I know I haven’t been easy on you, and I didn’t understand you the way I should have, but I think you’re doing amazingly well. I’m proud of you.”
“I believe I’m doing everything I can to have a good life, despite our difficulties,” Presley responds stiffly.
I hate witnessing this moment. It should be private, but I can’t help but watch them interact. This might be the turning point, the beginning of a new father and son relationship between them. Joy-Anna joins them and wraps her arms around both men. As she pulls them closer, I see Presley’s eyes rolling while his father seems uncomfortable. Joy-Anna starts laughing. “Come on, guys, just relax. You’re both so tense.” I don’t think she realizes what has just happened between them.
It’s a shock to realize I'm part of this family now. I'll be a Williams family member, and soon.
“Abbie.” I recognize the voice and turn swiftly in the direction its coming from. Cameron. He stands in front of me, looking uncomfortable. “Can we talk?” I nod and follow him where we have more privacy. “I’m sorry I was away, but I needed to put some distance between us. Gain some perspective.”
I grimace, twisting my hands together. “I’m sorry, Cam.”
“You have no reason to be sorry, Abbie. You’re living your life, you’ve moved on. I need to do the same thing.”
I nod in agreement. “You need to be happy too, Cam. I want your friendship, but it’s all you will ever get from me.” I glance around surreptitiously to see if anyone is listening, relieved to discover nobody is close enough to hear our discussion.
“Today is an important day and I’m here as your friend, okay? We can do this, can’t we? Be friends?” He offers me his hand and for a split second I stare at it, before gripping his hand in mine. We shake hands in agreement and then he grins and pulls me into a gentle hug. There’s no ulterior motive involved. He holds me briefly, as friends would do. I can see he’s determined to make this work between us, and I’m grateful. I don’t want to lose his friendship, not now that we’ve only just reconnected again.
I’m feeling better now that Cam’s here. I know I can trust him. There will be some adjustments to be made, but I’m pleased we’re going to try to be friends. I’m certain we can make it happen.
Presley comes over to where I’m standing with Cam, and he offers Cam a tight smile. There are still issues between them, but I think once Presley understands Cam only wants to be friends now, they can settle the differences between them. Presley holds out his hand to me and I take it, gripping his fingers fiercely. “It’s time, Abbie.”
He leads me towards the doors of the church, and I begin to tremble.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Abbie
Settled at the front of the church for Mom’s funeral service, I’m surprised by the amount of flowers and friends who are sitting here with me. Mom’s portrait is surrounded by white roses. It’s a memorable picture of her. She looks great but mostly, happy.
Dwayne’s family offered me their condolences before the ceremony. Most of them I have only met once or twice.
When Presley squeezes my fingers and stands up. He gently smiles at me when he sees the unspoken question in my eyes and leans over to kiss my temple.
''Don't worry, love, I’ll be back in just a few minutes. I promise.”
Presley strides to the front of the church, his tattoos hidden beneath a somber black shirt. The pastor greets him and smiles warmly when Presley approaches the piano. I realize he's going to play for Mom. He hasn't even touched the keys and I’m already tearing up in preparation. He moves the piano bench silently and sits down. Placing both of his hands on the piano keys, he turns to peek at me when he starts playin
g.
The Dying Swan.
I’m sobbing by the time he’s played the third note. He remembers. He's perfect, and he’s mine. We had only just started dating when I’d told him about this song, and the meaning it held for my mother. He knows how I feel about it. It's a precious memory that I shared with her, and now him.
Alicia comes to sit beside me, putting her arms around my shoulders. She comforts me, and it feels good to have a friend supporting me.
''It was my mother’s favorite song when I was young,'' I whisper to Alicia. ''This is the sweetest thing Presley could have done. I'm so grateful to have him.''
''He loves you, Abbie, and this is what people do when they're in love. They never stop showing how much they care.''
''I know; I just need to get used to this-- someone caring so much about me.'' I know he loves me, but sometimes I’m still astonished by how much.
''Yes, you do.” She grins. ''He can play exceptionally well…Presley is so talented in so many artistic things.''
My eyes shift towards Bentley. He's in tears. I think it’s because he's proud of his son, or perhaps it’s the memory of losing his first wife. Either way, he’s doing nothing to hide it and my respect for him grows, knowing he’s not afraid to show the way he feels.
He and Presley have had some difficulties in the past, but I think Bentley definitely wants to make amends. I’m hoping that in time, Presley can forgive his father. I only wish that I could have met Bentley under different circumstances, but perhaps if he and Presley can work out their differences, we can spend time with Presley’s Dad and his step-mom in the future. My eyes return to Presley, as he plays the last notes of The Dying Swan. He turns to look at me, smiling timidly as he begins a new piece. I recognize the song immediately. Tears in Heaven, by Eric Clapton, another one of Mom’s favorites. Presley didn’t talk to me about this. I assume he has been working with Dwayne to select songs to play. This one was played at Dad’s funeral, and the memory of losing him, and now Mom, reduces me to a sobbing mess. Alicia tightens her arms around me, tears forming in her own eyes. Dwayne's sitting with his parents, crying for the loss of his wife. It’s obvious he loved her. I hope Dwayne finds happiness again one day.