by Lyssa Layne
"Thinking of Prince Charming again?" There was no sarcasm in Sally's voice. Being Ana's only friend for over five years, Ana had finally confided her disturbing past with Austin.
That fateful night had changed Ana's life and she had never seen her true love again. Although it had been almost twelve years ago and Ana had dated many men, she never found that someone who filled her heart the way Austin had. Ana met most of her “dates” through business seminars and resort representatives who saw her and instantly thought of a fairy tale princess who needed rescuing. If she wasn’t interested in them for business purposes but was attracted to them physically, she allowed them to believe they were her Adonis, her hero. The courtship was fast, furious and full of passion but ended before the men knew what had hit them. They were there for Ana’s carnal pleasures and never filled the void that Austin had previously occupied.
Whenever Sally had broached the subject of tracking Austin down, Ana's eyes clouded with pain and she would quickly change the subject. The one time Sally pushed the subject, Ana broke down into sobs, claiming that Austin would never forgive her. Seeing the pain Sally caused, she never mentioned it again, until now.
"Ana, you’ve got to stop doing this. I love you to death but you're not getting any younger and…” she cut in quickly, “you're not getting any happier. In your case, time does not heal all wounds; they seem to bleed a little faster with you. It’s as if the more successful you are in your professional life, the more you recede from your personal life. You can't keep on this way!"
Sally noticed the flicker of a smile on Ana's face but saw through to the pain that flowed behind those light blue eyes. “I know you're worried, Sally, and I appreciate it but really, I'm okay. With all of these contracts, I just don't have time to date, let alone meet Mr. Right. Mr. Right Now will do just fine to fill in the gaps. Now, if you have Mr. Branson's file, I'd like to go over his itinerary before my flight."
Early in their friendship stages, after they had become comfortable in their working relationship, Sally was thrilled when she saw Ana dating some of the more prominent men in New York and hoped that Ana was finally moving on with her life. But it quickly became apparent that Ana never took them seriously and only kept them around for her physical desires, never wanting a commitment. Most of the men she dated were thrilled with this relationship until Ana got bored and moved on to the next prospect. Some of them wouldn’t let go which resulted in dozens of flowers, jewelry and exotic perfumes showing up at Ana’s office. She never took her dates to her place, claiming that home was her sanctuary and she didn’t want the imposition of dealing with a snubbed lover constantly returning to her haven.
Her sprawling condo was the only place she felt safe, where she could let her guard and defenses down. Her living room was the center focal point with the open kitchen blending into the background. She loved cooking and would often spend an evening experimenting with a new recipe while watching a movie on the big screen television across the living room.
Her place would be perfect for entertaining if she ever decided to let people in. Her bedrooms were secluded down the hallway where her bedroom suite had its own master bath. A half-bath was situated off of the living room and an expansive southern facing deck ran the length of the living room and kitchen. Floor to ceiling windows provided the only separation of the outdoors and the interior comfort.
The two times Sally had come over for work meetings, she had been enveloped in Ana’s oversized, soft eggplant colored chairs while Ana lounged on the matching sofa. All of the furniture in Ana’s condo had been purchased for the sole purpose of comfort and although with her style was eclectic, it looked exquisite and planned. Sally sometimes believed Ana picked her men that way, exquisite and flashy but also just an afterthought and completely disposable.
Seeing the beautiful men and some of the enlightened souls Ana pushed away caused frustration and, occasionally, jealousy in Sally. After Ana dumped a very sweet and handsome architect, Sally snapped haughtily at her. “Hey Ana, if you don’t want him, give him my number. I’m still looking for Mr. Right. My time clock is ticking and some of these guys are Prince Charming who should be allowed to find their Cinderella.” Hoping that she could guilt Ana out of her mournful state backfired, Ana willingly set up “meetings” with some of the men she had dated. On Ana’s part, she seemed relieved that these men were now distracted with Sally and showed no signs of jealousy or remorse. On Sally’s part, she found these men were willing to date her to try to stay in Ana’s life and find out more about Ana, not Sally. Eventually, she stopped agreeing to these “set-ups” and stopped trying to fix Ana’s path of meaningless relationships.
Sally also didn’t want to risk her six digit income or lose the first true friend she had made in New York in five years. She watched Ana go through men like she did shoes and it shouldn’t be her business but it had to stop before Ana’s careless actions started affecting the company reputation. The media was not kind and if some scorned lover went to the press with Ana’s out-of-control ways, things could get nasty.
Sally decided the only way that she could end this self-destructive behavior was to track down Ana’s first love, Austin Troy. The sooner Ana could confront Austin and work out their past to free her of the guilt that she still felt, the sooner Ana could get on with her personal life, successfully. Knowing that Ana would fight and argue if she knew what her plans were, Sally decided to keep quiet until she actually had Austin’s phone number in her hands. This was going to be for Ana’s own good, and some day she was going to thank Sally for taking this extra step.
THREE
Ana’s Friday morning started out as any other morning. Dressed in a black, pinstriped Giovanni suit with a soft pink camisole, she was at the office by seven o’clock in the morning with her cup of coffee and flavored yogurt with granola. She had her thick, blonde hair pulled back into a soft French braid that was tucked under and was secured by a matching pink bow. Simple diamond studs adorned her ears and a small gold chain at her neck was the extent of her jewelry.
She was not one to get bored very easily, given all of the clientele and places that she had to take care of and book, but she was starting to wonder if there was something more, something different for her. She was always booking extravagant vacations to exotic places but she had never experienced them herself. Whenever she went to a resort to inspect it for her clients, it was always strictly business and back on the plane to come home without ever having set foot on a sandy beach or wander the town. Maybe it was time she took a vacation and went to stay at some of these places that her clients always raved about.
After a late lunch, she sat and gazed out of the high rise window of her office, which overlooked New York to the west. She had paid a pretty penny, first for just the office and then the building, but she thought it was worth it. Her office was in the corner and had floor to ceiling windows. No matter which way she turned, she had a view. Even the walls that led out to the hallway and reception area were glass. She had experienced the feeling of being trapped once in her life and vowed never to experience that again. Her desk was composed of dark granite that sat over a rich, dark cherry wood. Her chair was high-backed, made with the most expensive suede leather that money could buy and resembled that of a small throne. The two chairs that sat on the other side of her desk were made of similar suede, but it was obvious to anyone that came into her office that she was the queen of her domain.
She had just decided to pick some place far from New York to take her vacation when Sally walked into her office, wearing a pair of dark blue leggings, calf-high black leather boots with a long satin over-shirt splattered with bold colors. She also walked with the air and smugness of someone who has valuable information and knows it. This usually meant Sally had found a new client who didn’t have a spending limit, so Ana perked up and gave her full attention.
“You know I love you, Ana.”
A sickening feeling started in the pit of Ana’s stomach. Gut
instinct indicated this was not going to be good, this was not the way Sally usually started talking about a big client. Ana sat back in her chair, bracing herself.
“I’ve watched you suffer for too many years and I’m hoping to end your pain now.” Knowing that Ana was about to argue, she plunged forward. “I have Austin’s phone number. He lives in Sussex, England. I want you to call him, arrange to meet with him and get everything off your chest. You deserve to be happy and this is the only way you can do it.”
For the first time in her relationship with Ana, Sally began to doubt herself. She had never seen this look on Ana’s face and finally recognized it as pure terror. Tears started welling in Ana’s eyes and it was Sally’s turn to panic. She had not anticipated this reaction from Ana. She had expected anger, to be yelled at, had even played out the argument Ana would present and the rebuttal argument Sally would come back with but this, this she had never imagined.
“Oh, Ana, come on honey, you have suffered long enough. You’ve got to clean these ghosts and skeletons out of your closet!”
“How could you betray me like this? My closest friend?” Ana sobbed.
Now Sally did get angry. “Betray you?! I’m trying to help you! You have been walking around with this personal death sentence for the past twelve years! I am trying to help you get on with your life! Now grow up and make the phone call!”
Anger still throbbing through Sally’s body, she heard Ana mumble something. “What? I couldn’t hear you.”
“I said go to hell!”
“Fine, if that’s the way you want it, continue wallowing in the past! I’m sick and tired of caring when you don’t even care about yourself, or even the ones who love you!” Sally threw the piece of paper with Austin’s phone number on Ana’s desk and stormed out of her office.
Ana jumped at the slamming door and embraced herself in the pain and self-pity that she had become so comfortable feeling. She knew she had been too hard on Sally, but damn it, she hadn’t asked her to do this! Her bleary eyes found the crumpled piece of paper on her desk and she tentatively reached out to pick it up.
Damn it, damn it, damn it! Was she really that pathetic? She was acting as if it were a snake about to bite her! Wiping her nose with the back of her hand, she angrily snatched up the paper and un-crumpled it. Wow, England. Had he finally made it as an artist, to be living across the ocean in a beautiful country that was famous for the artistic talent that hung in the museums over there?
Her mind and imagination produced scenarios of his struggling determination, his first gallery showing and the joy of being celebrated as a recognized artist. She found herself craving for more information and a touch of jealousy that she hadn’t been on his arm as his wife during it all.
Before she knew what she was doing, she had the phone in her hand, had dialed and heard the other end ringing. Good heavens, what time was it over there? What was she going to say? Hi, this is Ana and you are the love of my life, how are you doing after all these years? She prayed she would get an answering machine so she could hang up and figure out what she was going to say. Right when she was getting ready to hang up, a tired sounding female voice answered the phone.
“Hello?”
Ana was too stunned to answer. She knew it wasn’t Austin’s mother, the voice sounded too young and too British to be her. Reality finally dawned on her. How stupid and naïve she had been! Austin was too handsome and charming to stay single! What had she been thinking?
Now the other voice sounded irritated. “Hello? Who is this? I’m not in the mood for games so name yourself!”
“Pardon me, I’m looking for Austin Troy, is he in? My name is Anastasia Cassadine and I was hoping….”
“Oh, Anastasia. I was expecting your call, although I thought it would’ve been sooner. I had thought our attorney had called you days ago.” There was still tiredness in her voice but Ana detected a slight tone of hostility.
“Um, I’m sorry, do we know each other?”
“No, I’m Jennifer Troy, Austin’s wife. We’ve never met but Austin has spoken of you often.”
“Oh, hi Jennifer, I’m sorry to bother you.” She stumbled awkwardly. “Austin and I haven’t kept in touch, but a friend of mine gave me Austin’s number and suggested I get in touch, just to catch up.” She hastily added.
“Yes, I know you haven’t kept in touch.” Ana could hear the forced congeniality in Jennifer’s voice. “I would have personally contacted you but I’ve been busy with the arrangements and dealing with the reporters so I haven’t had a chance to contact your office.”
“No, no,” Ana cut in. “I’m sure you’ve been busy with your lives and Austin’s art. How is he doing?”
“I thought you knew and that’s why you were calling, Ana.” Jennifer hesitated. “Austin’s dead.”
Ana gasped and let the phone drop, feeling like she had just been punched in the stomach. She had been taken aback at the thought of him being married but to learn that her precious Austin was dead was devastating! It was a few moments before she realized Jennifer was calling out at the other end of the phone and she numbly picked it back up.
“I’m here Jennifer, I’m sorry. No, I didn’t know. What happened?”
“He died from a brain aneurism coming home from his gallery opening in Haywards Heath six weeks ago.” Jennifer was softly crying now. “They said he died instantly. No suffering.”
“Oh my god.” Ana sobbed and then remembered she was talking to Austin’s widow. “I’m so sorry!”
The sincerity in Ana’s voice seems to have traveled through the long-distance line because Jennifer’s voice softened.
“Thank you. It has been very hard on me and I’m sorry you had to find out this way. I truly did intend on calling you sooner.”
Not wanting to be rude but really needing to get off the phone to deal with her grief, Ana quickly started to wrap up the phone conversation.
“Jennifer, I’m truly sorry, if there is anything I can do, please feel free to call me…”
“Actually, there is, you’re in Austin’s will. Our attorney has instructed me to contact you so you can be here for the reading, it’s next Wednesday.”
Silence deadened the phone line and although Ana was aware of the extending silence, she still couldn’t find her voice.
“Ana, I know it’s a shock, it was a shock for me too, but if you ever loved Austin, you’ll be here.”
At the insinuation that she never loved Austin, Ana defensively attacked without thought. “Of course I loved him. I’ve done nothing but love him for the past twelve years!”
Realizing that she had just made this proclamation to Austin’s wife, she stumbled and tried to correct herself but Jennifer graciously rescued her.
“It’s okay, Ana. I know you loved him and I know he loved you. It took me years to realize that he loved me too, just in a different way. I thought I had overcome that jealousy a long time ago until I found out you were in his will. Forgive me if it sticks like a bone in my throat right now.”
Knowing it was a tactless question that made her sound greedy, Ana still couldn’t help herself from asking. “Do you know what it is? What he left me?”
Jennifer sighed and Ana realized she was pushing her manners.
“No, I don’t. Mr. Banks, our lawyer, refuses to tell me anything until our appointment.”
“Jennifer, I’m truly sorry for all of this, but I don’t think I can get a flight out or make accommodations on such short notice. I’m going to have to respectfully decline.”
“Oh come on, Ana, the world of travel knows you by first name, you Google your name and hundreds of links come up for you. You cannot convince me that you can’t come. Or is it that you won’t come, even to respect Austin’s wishes?”
Not used to be putting on the spot, Ana conceded. “I’ll be there sometime Monday. I’ll let you know my hotel and room once I’m there.”
“Don’t worry about the hotel. I know Austin wouldn’t have it any othe
r way but to have you stay at our manor. Let me know your flight number and I’ll make arrangements to have our driver pick you up.”
After making polite conversational endings Ana finally hung up the phone and found herself reeling. Austin’s dead? Married? A manor and a driver? How could she have missed so much in the life of someone she loved, or had loved so much? She had never really thought of or considered herself as an outsider in Austin’s life until now.
He established his career, gained a wife and moved out of the country without her ever knowing. She had been so wrapped up in her own career and her self-pity that she had lost touch and subsistence with the one man to whom she had given her heart. How naïve she was to think he had pined for her as she had for him all these years.
With determination to prove that she hadn’t wasted her life, she picked up the phone and called her contacts to make flight and hotel arrangements. Although Jennifer told her she was to stay at the manor, she wasn’t comfortable staying in the home that her true love and his wife owned. She wanted a back-up plan, just in case. It was only while she was waiting for her contact to make reservations that she realized that Avril Lavigne’s song ‘When You’re Gone’ was playing on the radio and it hit her like a ton of bricks. For a second time that day, she found herself sobbing.
When her contact came back on the line, she quickly recovered, wrote down the information and thanked the girl at the other end. She knew she hadn’t covered up very well but she was so respected in her career that no one would have the temerity to ask her if anything was wrong. Ana was a goddess in the travel industry. She was able to book the un-bookable places at the most prestigious destinations in the world, for the most elite and famous people of the world. There was nothing she couldn’t get done for her clients, which earned her the reputation that she possessed. Rumor had it she could turn the coldest, hardest hotel manager or flight management into the most accommodating, pleasant administrator in under five minutes. By the end of ten she had the best rooms and flights booked for her prominent clients. In the seven years that she had worked for Greg she had made it known to others in the industry that she would not take no for an answer. One way or another, she got things done and taken care of, this afternoon was no exception. Within an hour she had a first class flight for Monday and hotel accommodations ready for her. She sighed, picked up her purse and keys and headed out the door, glad she had a say of when her work day was over. She needed to pack and make arrangements with Sally to run the office while she was gone. She should be very angry with Sally for opening this can of worms, but she curiously found herself looking forward to meeting the woman that Austin chose to share his life with and to see the fruition that established his life‘s calling.