“Smart.”
“So, um, going back to figuring out who’s targeting me and why, I think maybe we should start with Night Life. It’s where this whole nightmare began—for me, anyway. Plus, after Chester’s comment about you blowing your cover, I’m assuming it was a place you were planning on investigating anyway before you saved my life. I know for sure two of the vampires who’ve come after me are connected to the club, Seth and the dude who hit you with the baseball bat. I’m assuming the others are too because they all say the same thing. He wants me dead. Someone is leading them. I suspect the club owner Ludvikas.”
“What makes you think it’s this Ludvikas guy?”
I hold up four fingers, ticking them off as I go. “One, he gives off this super creepy vibe. Two, he’s in a power position. Three, he’s Seth’s cousin. And four, Seth was afraid of him. Plus, the more I think about the way Seth behaved that night at the club—Doctor Jekyll one minute, Mr. Hyde the next—the more I’m convinced killing me wasn’t his idea. I think he was compelled to do it. And I think Vik was the one who compelled him. There was a moment at the club where Vik held Seth against the wall. I bet that’s when he did it. It would explain Seth’s back-and-forth behavior.”
“Vampires don’t need to be compelled to kill, Indi. They’re fine doing it all on their own.” His jaw clenches as he removes his hand from my knee. He jams the key into the ignition, turning it with so much force, I’m half afraid he’s going to break the key in half. He revs the engine then slams the car into reverse, backing out so fast I have to grab onto the dash with one hand while pressing the other against the headliner, as the car whips around.
Whoa, what the hell’s got his boxers in a bunch all of a sudden? “What did I say?”
“Vampires kill because they want to, because they must. I told you before, Indi, vampires are nothing more than corpses looking to feel alive again and the only way they can do that is by taking blood from the living. Humans are nothing more than a means to an end. Vampires are monsters, and nothing more. They’re not your friends, and they certainly don’t have a conscience. Seth and the others might be working for someone, but they weren’t compelled to kill you. They more than likely volunteered to do it.”
22
Sebastian pulls up in front of my house, his hands white knuckled around the steering wheel. He stares straight ahead, the corners of his eyes pinched. He leaves the engine running, not bothering to put the car in park. I push my back against the leather seat and cross my arms over my chest. If he thinks I’m getting out he’s sorely mistaken, because it’s not going to happen. I refuse to budge until he stops acting like a baby with all the hostility and anger, and he explains his sudden mood swing. One minute he’s offering me help and the next he’s yelling at me.
“Will you look at me?”
He spares me one quick glance from the corner of his eye.
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“I’m being ridiculous?” His gaze cuts across the space between us. “You’re the one justifying the actions of a vampire who tried to kill you. One, who will probably try again when the opportunity arises, I might add. What part of vampires are soulless sons of bitches who see humans as nothing more than food don’t you understand? All they want is the one thing they can no longer have—life—all of them. So don’t sit here and tell me maybe they’re not all bad, because they are, Indi. You don’t know what you’re talking about when you say otherwise. What they did to you. What they did to my—” He cuts himself off. The muscles in his jaw twitch as he grinds his teeth together. “There is no humanity left in them. There is no such thing as a good vampire. They are bloodsucking monsters who will drink you dry without a second thought and nothing more. Believe me. I’ve been in the chaser business long enough to know they have no redeeming qualities.”
I take a deep breath in, fighting the urge to yell back, but only because his points are valid. Vampires are monsters. There’s no arguing that. I’ve experienced firsthand what they’re capable of. But… at the same time, everything has layers. No one thing can be wholly good or evil. There’s always a gray area. All I’m asking is for him to see it. “Clearly, I hit a nerve when I suggested Seth may have been compelled to kill me. And vampires obviously did something terrible to someone you know, but—” His nostrils flare, and I let the sentence drop before the throbbing vein in the middle of his forehead either bursts or reaches out to pummel me.
“Don’t talk about things you know nothing about.” His words come out low and clipped, each syllable loaded with threat while piercing blue eyes rake over me like hot coals, burning everything they touch. I narrow my eyes into a hard glare, refusing to be intimidated. He takes it as a challenge. “I saw the fear in your eyes when you talked about being able to compel your aunt and uncle. It was there when we talked about living victims taking on vampire traits too. You’re terrified you’ll become like them. Consumed by a thirst so demanding you reach the point of no return and you attack someone. And then someone else, and someone else, as you work your way through everyone you love until there’s no one left.” His mouth pulls back in a cruel smile while the rest of his face screams disbelief. “And now you want to defend them? Humanize them? There’s nothing there to defend. Seth never struggled over whether or not to kill you. He was only doing what all vampires do best. Manipulate. Don’t be a fool by letting him manipulate you further.”
My hands curl into fists so tight they hurt as my eyes burn with the sting of tears wanting to be shed. I bite the backside of my bottom lip, cursing them away along with my stupid tear ducts. It’s like they’re connected to every emotion I have. Sadness. Joy. Blinding waves of anger. It doesn’t help Sebastian knows exactly where to hit for it to hurt either, the observant jackass. But I won’t do it. I will not cry and he will not win. I narrow my eyes even more, meeting his glare head on.
Whatever Sebastian’s problem is with vampires it goes deeper than my suggestion of Seth being compelled. He’s lashing out and using me as an excuse for it, but that doesn’t mean I have to sit here and take it. “Screw you, New Boy. I’ll find out who’s after me on my own. I don’t need your help.”
Rain blows inside the car when I open the door, immediately soaking my entire right side. Nice. As if this day couldn’t get any worse.
“Wait.” Sebastian’s hand clamps down around my wrist.
I shift in my seat to face him, the door still hanging open. Raindrops crash into my back, but I don’t dare close it. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of thinking he has any sway over me. “Why? Are you going to let me finish what I was saying? Or are you planning on yelling at me some more? Because if that’s the case, I don’t want to hear it.” I fix him with a hard stare. He stares right back without an answer and I dig my nails into the seat. It takes all of my willpower to not grab a hold of his shirt and shake him for acting like a jerk. I mean, really what is his problem? So he disagrees with what I said about Seth. So he has some underlying issues with vampires. It doesn’t mean he has to be a giant asshat about it.
“Close the door. You’re letting in the rain.”
Seriously? That’s all he’s got to say? No ‘sorry Indi for being a big turd and yelling at you?’ Whatever. I don’t have to put up with this.
I flip him off and step a foot outside the car.
He grabs my arm again. “Please. Stay and shut the door.”
I hesitate at the please and turn to study him over my shoulder. He’s still gripping my arm, but it’s the look in his eyes that holds me in place. I sigh loudly and roll my eyes. “Fine.” I slam the door shut. “Better?” I say it as snotty as I can. I’m being childish, but he’s being a jerk face, so it evens out.
“Better.”
Grr, I’m going to hit him. I’m going to punch him right in his stupid arm.
I tuck my hands under my legs.
He sits in silence staring out the windshield so I start, hoping he can see my point of view before jumping down my thr
oat again. “Obviously you’ve got a strong hatred for vampires because of whatever wrong they’ve committed against you. I don’t know what it is and I’m not asking you to tell me. I’m not a fan of vampires either. Far from it if I’m being honest.” Cold chills run over my skin and I shudder as nightmare memories cloud my mind, threatening to pull me down into reliving some of the most horrible moments of my life. “Trust me when I say I’m the last person on Earth who would ever defend a vampire, especially one who tried to kill me, but with Seth, it’s the only thing that makes sense. Yes, he tried to kill me. Yes, for a few minutes he succeeded. Yes, I’m terrified he’ll try again. But he was also genuine when he warned me and tried to give me a way out, both at the club and before it. I could see it in the way he looked at me. I know it doesn’t make sense, but it’s the truth. You told me once to look beyond the surface because everything is not always as it seems. Maybe the same thing can be said about vampires. As much as it chokes me to say it, maybe they’re not all evil. I’m not asking you to agree with me, only to have an open mind and consider it, because if I’m right, maybe we can use it to our advantage. Seth could be our way in to getting to Vik.”
Sebastian shakes his head like everything I just said is ludicrous. “Let me get this straight. Instead of capturing and interrogating a vampire, you want to make friends with one? The same one who tried to murder you? And you want to what? Turn him into a spy? Have him report back to you? You’re delusional, Indi. I told you vampires are monsters no matter how you spin it. Seth included.”
It’s obvious he doesn’t want to hear anything I have to say, so I’m done trying to explain. “I’m getting out now.”
“Wait.”
“Why should I? I already made that mistake once, why would I want to do it again?”
Sebastian takes a deep breath then puts the car into park. Turning the engine off, he leaves the keys dangling in the ignition. He covers his face with his hands then runs his fingers through his hair before resting his head against the seat. He closes his eyes and exhales. All the anger coiling him into a tight ball of irrational rage fades from his features. Thick black eyelashes rest against his cheekbones for so long I start to think he’s fallen asleep. I reach out to shake him or better yet yell at him when he says, “I want to tell you the story of how I became a chaser.”
The melancholy in his voice throws me off. “Okay.”
He stares out into the storm. The corners of his mouth tilt downward and he lowers his eyes as though he’s seen something he’d rather forget staring back at him from the other side of the windshield. In this moment he seems so small. All of his walls tumble down, leaving his soul exposed. The cocky attitude, the way he is as a chaser, it’s all a defense created to protect him from whatever’s left him scarred. It breaks my heart. Ten seconds ago I wanted to smack him silly and now all I want to do is wrap him in my arms and tell him everything will be okay.
Thunder rumbles across the sky, shaking the windows as rain continues to come down. Sebastian sits in silence, lost in his thoughts as I watch rivers of water flow over the road along the sidewalk’s edge. Frothy water pushes out from storm drains too full to offer any help against the onslaught slowly drowning us. I try calming my nerves, hoping if I do the constant downpour will let up. I close my eyes and breathe, letting the crappiness of the day go with each exhale. I feel a little better, but the storm rages on. Maybe this time it’s not me causing it. Maybe this time it’s an honest to God natural storm with no magical influences.
“I was eleven,” Sebastian begins, catching me off guard.
“You were eleven when you became a chaser?” God, he was just a kid.
He spares me a glance before settling his gaze back onto some unfocused spot beyond the windshield. “We were living in Seattle. Dad was a detective at the SPD; Mom was a middle school guidance councilor; and my sister Sofia was my best friend. She was four and a half years older than me, but that never mattered to either of us. We did everything together and would do anything for each other. We also never told each other lies. Ever. We pinky swore to it. I even told her about my special ability, and never once did she tell me I was making it up. We trusted each other completely.
“One night my parents got into a bad fight. It was the worst one they’d ever had. Dad had been working on a particularly hard case and had spent most of the night drowning in liquor. It was commonplace for Dad to be drunk since he was also a raging alcoholic. So I knew what was coming. Sofia did too, which is why she had already locked herself in her room. I could hear her crying behind the door as I crept down the hallway. Things were being thrown and broken in the living room and I knew it wouldn’t be long before Dad worked his way up to hitting Mom. It had happened too many times before and eleven-year-old me had had enough. I was going to stop him this time.
“He hit me so hard it was morning before I woke up. I was still on the living room floor. Mom had already cleaned the house and was putting breakfast on the table while Dad sat reading the newspaper. It was like it had never happened. I screamed I hated them both and ran right out the door.
“I wandered around the city for the entire day and ended up in the park. It was dark and cold, but I didn’t really care. I never wanted to go home again. Eventually my sister found me. No one else had even bothered to look. My dad couldn’t care less about me and my mom wouldn’t dare go against his wishes. If Dad didn’t want anyone to look for me, they weren’t to look for me. Sofia would be in trouble if Dad found out she’d left the house. It’s the only reason I agreed to go back. I didn’t want her to suffer the same wrath I did at the hands of the man who was supposed to love us unconditionally.
“We never made it out of the park.
“There were three of them. I didn’t know what they were at the time, only that there was something different about them. Something dangerous and feral in the way they looked at us.
“What they did to her will haunt me forever, but what came after was even worse.
“During the attack, one of the vampires held me down and made me watch the other two rip into my sister. Her screams were so loud. And then they weren’t. I puked all over the dirt the vampire was smashing my face into. I was drowning in it. Still, he wouldn’t let up and when I didn’t think I could take it anymore my Dad showed up. He shot the two attacking Sofia, incapacitating them with silver coated wooden bullets. Once they were down, he finished the job by running them through with stakes. He knew what they were. The third one got away. The look Dad gave me when he picked up my sister will forever be seared onto my soul. He may have hated me before, but from that moment on I was the person responsible for what happened to his daughter. She was his favorite. Nothing I ever did was good enough and now I was the enemy.
“He took us home. A few days later Sofia attacked Mom in the kitchen. Dad staked her straight through the back. I’ll never forget the way she collapsed to the floor, or all the blood that ran over it. Screaming and crying, Mom dragged me into the bathroom with her and locked us inside. I never saw my sister again. There was no funeral, and no goodbye. She was just gone.
“Later that night my dad came after me. To him what happened to Sofia was my fault, and he made sure I’d never forget it by taking a belt to my back.
“We moved the following week. Mom stuck it out for two more years before she split. I came home from school one day to find all her stuff gone. She didn’t even leave a note. I think maybe she blamed me for Sofia too. With Mom gone it was just Dad and me. He’d stopped drinking by then and had taken on a new dangerous addiction. Vampire hunting. He brought me into the life, telling me I needed to make amends for what happened to my sister by taking out as many vampires as I could, so I did. And I got really good at it. The Venari found us not too long after that and the rest is history.”
The heartbreak in his eyes kills me. Nobody should have to carry around a burden like that. I’m such an ass. No wonder he got so mad. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.” I pull him into
an awkward hug, smearing the wetness of my tears over the side of his face. He takes a minute before hugging me back, as best he can anyway in the confines of the car. And when he does, he holds on so tight his fingers clutch around the fabric of my shirt like he doesn’t ever want to let go. “The things you went through, I can’t even imagine what that would have been like.”
He pulls us apart, the look in his eyes haunted. “Now do you understand when I tell you vampires are monsters? When they kill it ripples. They destroy more than just their victims.” He casts his gaze downward, the sadness spread over his face making him look younger and vulnerable. Tears fall from beneath the cover of his lashes onto his shirt. We sit in silence for several minutes before he looks at me. He reaches out slowly, almost as if he’s afraid to touch me. As though he doesn’t deserve to. I meet him halfway and he cups my face, his thumb brushing over my own tears. “I’m so sorry I snapped at you the way I did. You didn’t deserve it. I’ve spent so many years hunting down vampires and watching the horror they leave behind, it caught me off guard when you alluded Seth was anything other than a cold-blooded killer.”
I lean into his hand then cover it with my own before pulling it down into my lap. “It’s okay. I understand. Forget I ever said anything. It was dumb anyway.” I wipe away a tear from underneath his lashes. He looks up at me, the turmoil in his eyes matching the storm outside my window.
“Not dumb. Nothing you say is dumb. Ill informed maybe, but not dumb. Who knows, maybe there’s some truth in what you said. Maybe you’ve seen something I never have.” He’s giving me the benefit of the doubt and it breaks my heart because he shouldn’t. If I’d experienced what he had, I’d never entertain the idea of vampires being anything more than what they are. Bloodsucking fiends.
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