“Thank you.”
“For being an annoying asshole?” The look on his face is priceless with his eyebrows all scrunched together and his mouth caught in a weird grin.
I laugh out loud. “No. For making me feel better. I was freaking out about burning down the forest, or flooding the town below us, but you took the panic away.”
“I’m glad I could help. Although if you still need distracted…” His gaze lowers back down to my mouth. “… I have some ideas.”
Every bit of space separating us becomes charged, my lips tingling in memory of our last two kisses. I’m so tempted to lean across and close the distance between us, but I’ve been holding back all week because of Evan. Since I cast the spell—or compelled—him to find happiness things have been quiet between us. I don’t want to start something with Sebastian too soon and have the whole school attack me again. But I also don’t want to keep denying what I feel.
Liv knocks on my window and I turn my head in her direction. “You guys getting out or what?”
“Yeah. Um, give us a second.”
Liv’s gaze bounces between Sebastian and me, her mouth forming a knowing smile. She makes a kissy face then laughs at my slight yet vigorous headshake. Sheesh, I admit to one kiss.
Sebastian stares at me with a lopsided grin. Of course, he saw Liv.
“Um, about last week… I meant it when I… when we… um…” He watches me with an amused expression, offering me no help whatsoever. I think he likes watching me squirm. The jerk. “It um, it was really nice—”
“The running? Glad you think so because we get to do it all over again tomorrow morning.”
“No. The running was awful. Is awful. I’m referring to what happened after that.”
“Oh, you mean when you threatened to punch my father?” His smile grows wider, his eyes playful.
“No, before that.”
“Oh, before that. You mean when you knocked me down then had your way with me?” Heat immediately rushes to my face like a fire has been set underneath my skin. He brushes his knuckles down my cheek. “I love it when you blush.”
“Then you must be loving this moment right now.”
“I am actually. I like you, Indi, and I know you like me, too.” He twirls a strand of my hair around his finger. “You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to kiss you all week, but after hearing the rumors at school and seeing the way Evan and his friends were treating you, I figured you needed some time to deal. People can be such jerks. I wanted to go on a punching spree and make them all pay for the pain they were causing you. I would have too if I didn’t think it would have made things worse.”
“Really? You wanted to fight the whole school for me?”
“I’d take on the entire world for you if I had to.”
“You would?”
“In a heartbeat.”
Someone knocks on the window.
“We should get out before Liv or Jack knocks again.” I don’t move an inch.
“We should.” He doesn’t move either.
The connection between us hangs heavily in the air. Liv and Jack, the reason we’re even here, it all disappears. All I see is Sebastian. Whatever this connection is between us it has me completely wrapped up in him. It’s funny to think how in the beginning I was sure he was a crazy stalker and now all I want to do is get closer.
He cups my face, his thumb grazing over my bottom lip. “I want to kiss you.”
“Then do it.”
“We have an audience. Liv and Jack are at your window.”
“I don’t care.”
“Then I don’t either.”
He leans in slowly, taking his sweet time, the anticipation becoming nearly unbearable when his lips finally brush against mine. The kiss he plants on my lips is gentle and sweet. A mere taste when I can tell he wants to devour. I nip his bottom lip, snagging it between my teeth. I want to devour him too. A moan rumbles within his throat as he takes the hint by deepening our kiss. I pour everything into it, every single feeling I’ve ever held back. I don’t care if there’s some weird connection drawing us toward one another. I just want to be here in this moment with him.
All too soon he breaks away. The smile he gives melts my insides while the look in his eyes sets them on fire. “There’s nothing I’d rather do than stay in here with you, but your cousins are pressing their faces against the window.”
“They are not.” I look anyway. Jack isn’t there, but Liv is. She gives me a goofy grin and a thumbs up. I smile and look away, the telltale sign of embarrassment sweeping over my face. “When we get home, she’s going to ask me a hundred million different questions and want me to describe every single detail.”
Sebastian’s laugh captures my attention.
“Did I just say that out loud?”
“You did.”
I cover my face with my hands. “Gah, I’m so embarrassed.”
He pries my hands away. “Don’t be. I think it’s cute you’ll be spending the night talking about my exceptional kissing abilities. But until then, we really need to do what we came here for. It’s important for you to get a handle on your magic. It will protect you when the vampires try to attack again and believe me they will.”
“I know.” The energy in the car deflates becoming somber. The reality of why we’re actually here settling back in. Vampires want me dead. Angelic bounty hunters will come after me too once they discover where I am. And then there is whatever the witches have planned for me, all of which I need to be prepared for. If I’m going to fight back, I need to know how to defend myself. I need to know how to use my magic. “Let’s do this.” I take a deep breath in and open the door.
“I can’t do this.” I pick up a rock and throw it into the trees.
“Yes, you can. You’re just not concentrating hard enough. Here.” Liv thrusts a piece of paper in my hands. “I wrote down the words so you’ll stop butchering them trying to repeat after me.”
I stick my tongue out at her with a glare. “For your information, I am concentrating as hard as I can. If I concentrate any harder my head will explode.” I look at the paper with a scowl. If Liv thinks reading her chicken scratch is going to go over any better, she’s in for a rude awakening. I have no idea what this says let alone how to pronounce it. “Why can’t I just say it in English? Why does it have to be in whatever language this is I’m looking at?” The Book of Shadows I got from Books and Brew translated to English and the spell I cast from it worked just fine, I argue inside my head before remembering exactly what that spell did.
“Because words have power and this is the ancient language of magic. All witches use it. Jack and I use it. Mom and Dad use it. Your mom used it, and you probably used it too before—” She cuts herself off, takes a breath, then says, “Everything.” A nice generalized way of saying, before your mom died, your memories were scrubbed, and you came to live with us. Liv runs her fingers through her long red hair, twisting it up into a messy bun on top of her head. “Let’s try one more time.”
“Fine.” I sit with my legs folded beneath me, spreading the paper out over my knee. I stare at the potted plant, the daisy inside withered and wilted. Liv and Jack thought bringing it back from the brink of death would be the easiest to start with since I have ties to elemental magic through my mother and influence over life and death through my father. All I seem to have, though, is a big steaming pile of this isn’t working.
I square my shoulders and take a deep breath in. Here goes nothing. “Quid me revocas manere arescit,” I say knowing I’m murdering every single word coming out of my mouth. I finish the incantation already knowing the outcome. A big fat nothing just like the fifteen attempts before it.
My shoulders droop with another sigh. How is it I can cast a spell to bleed out a vampire just fine, create fireballs and rain storms out of thin air, but I can’t do one simple spell to save a flower? Are my powers only destructive in nature? And if they are, does that mean I’m destined for darkness? Is tha
t why the angels wanted to get rid of me after I was born because they knew? Could it also be the reason why the Dark Heart Coven has been watching me because they see it too and want to recruit me for some nefarious purpose? Or why the vampires see me as a threat and therefore want me dead because I’m more powerful than they are? Aside from saving Sebastian from death twice, is there no good to my magic? No good in me?
I pull my knees to my chest. Liv stands above me, her mouth moving at a hundred miles and hour, but I don’t hear a thing. She throws her hands up in the air when I don’t answer whatever it was she just asked me. Jack takes her by the arm, leading her a few feet away.
Sebastian kneels down in front of me. He holds out a hand. “Come with me.”
“But Liv and Jack—”
“Can wait.”
I give him my hand. He pulls me to my feet, then leads me toward the water tower. “Climb up.”
“You want me to go up there?” I crane my neck, my eyes catching and counting every rung. My heart thuds against my ribs, sending messages of hell no straight to my shaky knees and sweaty palms. “I can’t go up there.”
“Sure you can. I’ll be right behind you. It’ll be worth it.”
“Not if I puke on you, which isn’t out of the realm of possibility. I don’t do so well with heights. What if I fall?”
“Then I’ll catch you.”
He places my hand on the rung. I study his face, for a moment seeing the little boy he used to be. He wasn’t afraid to climb the big tree in the park back then and he’s not afraid to climb the tower now despite the fall he sustained as a child. If he’s not afraid, then maybe I can be not afraid too. Besides, I’m training to fight vampires and whatever else decides to come after me. If I can do that, I can climb a ladder.
Nope. Nope. Nope. I was wrong. Climbing up here was completely stupid. The ground is too far away. My hands are too slippery. And this ladder can’t possibly be that safe after decades in the elements. I wrap my arms around the rungs three fourths of the way up. My body refuses to go any further as my heartbeats thump-thump in my ears. They’re so loud, I bet Sebastian can hear them. I glance down at him. He looks so at ease. How is that even possible after his near-death experience as a kid? How is he not terrified to have his feet off the ground?
He smiles up at me then nudges his chin upwards. I shake my head. This is as far as I go.
“A few more steps and we’ll be at the top. Once you see the view, you’ll forget all about being scared. Trust me.”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Nope.”
“Didn’t think so.” I angle my head up, counting the remaining rungs. “If I fall and die, I want you to know I’ll be coming back to haunt you for all of eternity.” He chuckles and I move up another rung. Once I reach the top, I crawl along the walkway, keeping close to the tower wall.
Sebastian takes a seat along the railing, dangling his legs over the edge. “Come sit with me.”
I press my back against the water tank. “I’m good where I am. Thanks.”
He looks out over the tree line to the city spreading out below. “I like to come here sometimes. When I’m up here everything down there becomes small, and for a few moments I can let everything go and just breathe. The weight of my sister’s death, the suffocating hand of my father, all the bad things crawling in the dark, it all disappears. It’s just the wind on my face and a world full of possibilities as far as the eye can see. I can escape. No expectations, no life and death situations, no amends to be made. Above the world, I’m free.” He gazes at me over his shoulder. “You were drowning down there. I wanted to give you a place to catch your breath. To feel free.”
I study his face in the fading afternoon sun. His appearance may scream dangerous badass with his scrapes and bruises, messy hair, leather jacket, dark jeans and motorcycle boots, but underneath the illusion he’s a complicated guy with a kind heart. He’s nothing at all how I thought he would be when I first caught him staring at me at school. He’s so much more.
I scoot a little closer to the edge. Not close enough to hang my legs over the side like he is, but closer. The view really is breathtaking. He’s right about it making everything look smaller and not so overwhelming.
I watch him from the corner of my eye. His shoulders are relaxed, the expression on his face serene. Eyes closed, his insanely dark long lashes rest against his cheekbones as he holds his face up to the sun. I wonder what he’s thinking about. “You can be really sweet when you want to be.”
A slight smile tugs at his mouth before he presses a finger to his lips. “Shh.” He gazes at me from under half-closed eyes. “I’ve got a reputation to uphold. Can’t have people thinking I’m a softy.”
“Your secret is safe with me.” Braving the rolling nausea assaulting my stomach at being this high up, I scoot the last little bit and swing my legs over the side. He lays his hand on top of mine, lacing our fingers. “Thank you for sharing this with me.”
He bumps my shoulder with his and I gasp at the slight nudge. My heart kicks into high gear, my eyes going as wide as they possibly can.
He laughs. “She says while being terrified out of her mind. Let’s go back down.”
I sigh the moment my feet touch the ground. I’m seriously tempted to bow down and kiss the dirt. I appreciate the sentiment behind Sebastian taking me to the top of the water tower, but I much prefer the broken beer bottle littered gravel below it.
“I’m ready to try the spell again.”
27
“I want you to try something different this time,” Jack says when I reach for the spell Liv wrote out. “Instead of using a traditional incantation I want you to will your magic from inside. Magic is energy. It’s in us, and all around us in every living and natural thing. When you cast a spell all you’re doing is harnessing and manipulating that energy with intent. Your magic has always been strong. Mom constantly had to add to the suppression spell to keep it from seeping out and you still set fire to your room more times than I can count while asleep. I think you may be one of the few witches strong enough to focus their magic with intent alone. You just have to dig down and find the magic within you.”
“So you don’t want me to use the spell?”
“No. Not in the traditional sense, anyway. Spells are how a witch harnesses and directs their magic to something specific. If I’m right about you, most of what you need is already inside you. You just have to want it bad enough to make it happen.”
Want it bad enough to make it happen. Could it be that simple? I doubt it. “I’ll try.”
Jack grabs his jacket from the backseat of the car. He slips his arms in, zipping it up while I approach the daisy. Liv squeezes my shoulder reassuringly then leans against the hood of the Camaro beside her brother. Their stare creeps along the back of my neck, making it hard to concentrate. Accessing my magic by sheer will alone probably won’t work anyway.
“Just breathe.” Sebastian whispers in my ear. “You got this.”
I sit down on the ground, pulling the potted plant into my lap. I close my eyes, my mind going over all the other times I’ve accessed my abilities in hopes of finding a thread of commonality, the spark that gave me access. So far each time I’ve used magic it’s been during some kind of stressful situation. Waking from nightmares I can never seem to remember despite my body being flooded with terror. Being attacked by vampires every time I turn around. Being messed with by witches at school for whatever reason. Anger at finding out I’d been lied to my whole life by those I trusted the most. In each instance my emotions were running high and my magic responded defensively. The thought gives me hope because if that’s true than the opposite has to be true too. All I have to do is channel my magic from a different place, a place not destructive in nature.
I study Sebastian under the cover of my lashes from the corner of my eye. He’s leaning a shoulder against the ladder to the water tower, hands buried in the pockets of his leather jacket, one foot crossed over the oth
er. Wind blows strands of perfectly disheveled hair over his piercing blue eyes. He watches me with conflicting emotions warring over his face as though he’s simultaneously cheering for me while also hoping I’ll fail. I get it. Each step I take at honing my skills, magically and physically, takes me one step closer to facing the vampires at Night Life.
Sebastian may put on a good show of being tough and indifferent, but over the last few weeks I’ve known him he’s let me see behind the curtain. He looks at the world with the weight of it on his shoulders, every problem his to solve, including mine. All the training he wants me to do—granted it will help to keep me alive—is his way of keeping me from the fight for as long as possible. It’s his way of protecting me. Saving someone like him from death could never have been a bad or destructive thing. Whatever I did when I saved him came from somewhere deep, somewhere pure and full of love and that’s the kind of magic I need to channel now.
I close my eyes once again, filling my thoughts with everything good in my life. My family. My friends. Sebastian. Even Evan, though he’s mad at me right now.
My body becomes light as I slip into a meditative state, free to explore all the things out of reach in the physical world. In my mind’s eye I stand before a large blue door in an otherwise pitch-black room. Light seeps around the edges in smoky white tendrils. Magic. My magic. It calls out to me.
I reach out, wrapping my hand around the silver knob. Jolts of energy race up my arm, keeping my hand locked in place. Even if I wanted to let go, I couldn’t. My magic wants to connect with me just as much as I want to connect with it. With a deep breath in, I twist. The sound of the locking mechanism scraping over the faceplate echoes in the darkness surrounding me. The door swings open to even more darkness, the light bleeding around the edges of the door gone, hidden once again within the shadows.
I step inside waiting for my eyes to adjust past the darkness to find what I seek. The longer I stare, the more visible it becomes. Layers begin to peel away until a spark of bluish white light hidden among memories still cast in shadow emerges from the middle. It beckons me forward, demanding to be touched. With each step I take it burns brighter, the white-blue mixing with every color imaginable in existence, purples, greens, reds, colors I’ve never even seen before. I reach for it as it reaches for me. Fingers outstretched, it meets me halfway, curling around my hand and wrist in a warm embrace until every part of me is ablaze with it.
Of Blood & Magic: Blood Descent Book 1 Page 29