Westbound Awakening

by Hildie McQueen

  Gravity pulled her forward so that she felt as if she was about to step off a cliff to fall into the unknown, but it felt good. Freeing.

  Mae nodded, and her lips lifted into a wide smile. "I love you John. I can't bear the thought of a future without you and Wesley. I've been terrified actually." She took a deep breath. "Yes, John McClain, I will marry you."

  Before she could say another word, he stood and pulled her into an embrace turning in a full circle until she became dizzy. His laughter rang over the trees and hers joined it.

  "Put me down," Mae laughed and then wobbled when he placed her on her feet. "Kiss me John."

  His lips covered her, the kiss tentative at first, but then becoming heated when she wrapped her hands around his neck.

  John's hand slid down her back, and he pulled her against him. Soon their breathing became harsher the kiss more demanding. Mae planted her palms on his chest and pushed away gently while looking up at him. "I'd like to wait until we're married before being intimate again."

  He nodded and kissed the tip of her nose. "I agree."

  "When would you like to plan our marriage for?" Mae took his hand and led him back toward the wagon.

  "How about today?"

  "Oh John." She nudged him with her elbow. "I'm serious."

  "So am I."

  Mae sighed, happiness engulfed her and the surrounding area seemed colorful, richer. "Why did you bring me here?"

  "Because I wanted you to understand I've loved you for a long while."

  "We were both heading west not knowing how much it would change our lives." Mae said.

  "It was an awakening of sorts don't you think?"

  Mae nodded accepting his soft kiss. "Yes John, it was."

  "Let’s go home and tell Wesley that his ma and pa are going to be together with him forever." John said pulling her back towards the wagon his stride long and purposeful.

  "I'm not sure he's old enough to understand," Mae replied laughing.

  30

  Lucinda stood over her mother's grave. The emptiness in her heart so vast she felt completely hollow. Almost a month since the noble woman had passed and to Lucinda it felt as if it were just yesterday. Goodness, she wasn't sure how she'd made it past the first few days after finding Miss Lady with a peaceful expression, not waking when she'd tried to rouse her. Her mother had died in her sleep.

  Thankfully, Elma was a godsend; the woman had taken care of her and Mae. Both of them in so much pain, they mourned the loss of the woman who loved them without reservations. And Alan was forever present to talk to her, walk with her, his patience seemed without bounds.

  Her mother raised her and Mae to value themselves and expect the best from life. She'd failed her mother. Every night in the brothel could not have been easy on Lady Roberts, watching Lucinda sell her body, yet her mother never tried to talk her out of it. She accepted Lucinda's choices with quiet reluctance.

  Now she'd lost her mother, and guilt grew heavy in knowing her mother would not live to see her start a new life here in Texas. Although she was still unsure of what she was going to do, she had plenty of money saved. Enough to start perhaps open a small boarding house for travelers. Something she noticed on their trek westward was that people were in need of places to stop and find a clean bed and a warm meal for a night or two before continuing on their travels.

  "Can I walk you back?" Alan's deep voice washed over her and Lucinda allowed it to relax her.

  She turned to the tall handsome man. "I haven't thanked you for the night I woke you and burdened you with my story."

  The sunny day made his blue eyes appear lighter when he looked at her. "I am glad you did. And I meant what I said to you. Do you remember?"

  "I do, and I treasure those words. But you deserve much better Alan. Plus, I have so much to work through. I am not sure I can let go of the bitterness just yet."

  He reached forward and pushed an errant curl away from her face to tuck it behind her ear. "I don't care about your past Lucinda. And I want to help you get past all the hurt. Because when I look at you all, I see is my future."

  The words shook her, and Lucinda could only stare up at him, searching his face. How could this be possible? How could it be a man like him was willing to forgive her past and accept her with such openness?

  "Come walk with me," Alan told her taking her hand. They ambled for a few yards until finding a shady tree.

  Lucinda leaned against the trunk and looked across the plush land toward where cows grazed, their tails swishing back and forth. "I do like it here. I'm considering purchasing a small house and opening it up to travelers."

  "It would be dangerous for a woman alone," Alan told her with a frown. "Is that really what you want to do?"

  "My savings will only last so long, I have to earn money and support myself."

  He leaned forward and kissed her. "How about a future with me? I can provide for you Lucinda. You can move into the house, keep a garden and you can do whatever it is women do all day." He shrugged when she hit his arm and couldn't help but laugh at how men didn't seem to realize all a woman had to do in a day to keep a home.

  "How about this?" Lucinda started and took one of his larger hands in both of hers. "I find I want to be with you. I think of you every morning as soon as I wake. This is new to me and I want you to be sure about it. So let's give it a few months. Plenty of time for you to get to know me, and then you can ask me again."

  "I'm not going to change my mind." His eyes twinkled when he looked down at her. "But if you need time to think about it because you're scared of my handsomeness then take all the time you need."

  She could only smile and shake her head. "I don't need any time. I already know I want to be with you."

  "Well that's all I needed to hear." He pulled her to him and his mouth captured hers.

  Miss Lady had insisted Lucinda come with her to Texas, and she'd come because she'd known something was wrong with her mother. Perhaps the true reason was that her destiny was here and it was meant to be.

  For her to finally find love again in a kind and gentle Alan Murphy.

  31

  "Do you Mae Hawkins take John McClain to be your lawful wedded husband?" Ryan stood in front of them and spoke, but all Mae could focus on were John's beautiful gray eyes glued to hers. The day had finally come when they'd be joined as husband and wife.

  The wedding was all she dreamed of. The Jacobs' small chapel was replete with wildflowers and blue ribbons. Every bench filled with townspeople and friends.

  The only person whose presence would have made the day even more perfect was Miss Lady. Although Mae felt her presence in her heart, it filled her and kept her smile in place.

  Miss Lady would be delighted for her, for the turn of events, which she'd no doubt anticipated when forcing her on the trip west with John. Yes, Miss Lady would be sitting at the front bench with a knowing smile and happy for her in seeing she was finally joyful and fulfilled.

  When it was time to exchange rings, she gave her small bouquet of blue wildflowers to Patty who stood next to her as her matron of honor. And then it was time to repeat the vows and place the golden ring onto John's finger. Her hand trembled in his, and John squeezed it to reassure her.

  Wesley stood tall beside John, his face solemn when handing John her ring. Her heart swelled with pride at their little boy.

  John's voice was strong when he said his vows until the last word when it hitched and she let out a breath at his being affected as much as she was.

  A sniffle took her attention, and she slid her gaze over to Elma who sat next to Lucinda. Both wiped their eyes with bright white handkerchiefs and blew their noses at the same time. The Hispanic woman had been so excited at the news that Wesley would remain at the house that she'd burst into tears in the middle of the kitchen and had to be helped to sit.

  Not only had Mae grown to love the child, but Wesley had managed to steal Elma and Lucinda's heart as well.

  After the ceremony,
everyone went to the Jacobs' home where a large banquet had been laid on tables outside for the celebration. Many of the townspeople were present, and Mae milled about with John getting to know the people who she'd be neighbors with now.

  John's parents had traveled from Virginia for the wedding, and much to her delight, she and his mother Elizabeth McClain had immediately hit it off. Her new mother-in-law was a strong no-nonsense type who did not mince words. Just like her son, she went straight to the point when speaking. She'd taken Mae aside and told her she approved of the marriage and was glad John was marrying a strong woman and not some simpering wallflower. Mae had laughed and hugged the woman.

  John's father Robert McClain was the complete opposite of her mother-in-law and son. Easy-going and patient, the man spent hours reading to Wesley and telling him stories. He'd walked to the barn and helped Alan with the care of the horses and milking of cows. The elder McClain proclaimed to fall in love with the lands and that upon news of a second grandchild, they'd move to Texas and live in John's now empty house.

  His mother shook her head in response. "We'll have to split our time since the girls remain in Virginia Robert."

  The evening finally came, and John ushered Mae into the master bedroom they would now share. Her entire body trembled in anticipation, and she fumbled with her hairpiece. Mae stood in the middle of the room waiting for him to lock the door. Everyone was abed, and the house was quiet.

  John came to her and cupped her face taking her lips with his. "It's been so hard to wait until this night. It seemed like it would never arrive." He kissed her again and she squirmed attempting to unbutton his shirt.

  "It will be worth it," Mae replied and caressed his face. "And because we have the rest of our lives to be together, each time will be special."

  "Yes, the rest of our life." John pressed his lips to hers.

  When he fumbled with the buttons down the front of her dress, she finally lost her patience. "Let's take our own clothes off," she told him, her words breathless while making quick work of the fastenings of her dress. "Hurry, John."

  The crooked smile as he undressed made it harder for to Mae remove her clothing. Her heartbeat quickened as more of his body was revealed. When his shirt slipped from his wide shoulders displaying the broad expanse of chest for her eyes to feast upon, Mae stopped moving and just stared at him transfixed. His body was perfect.

  Hands on his pants front, John began to push them from his narrow hips. Darkened eyes met hers. "Take your clothes off Mae." The huskiness of his request prompted her to move.

  Within moments, her dress was folded over a chair, her hairpiece and short gloves next to it on the top of a table. For a strange reason, she felt shyness overtake until she lifted her gaze to John's. His eyes traveled over her body, and his chest expanded with his rapid breathing. She rushed to him.

  Finally without the impediment of clothing, they clasped onto each other, mouths and bodies fused, fitting perfectly.

  Mae slid her hands up his wide back and wrapped her arms around his nape. When his mouth covered hers, she pushed into him needing to touch every inch of his large body against her own.

  John guided her to the bed and laid her upon it following after her.

  Making love with her husband was an experience unlike anything she expected. Every moment of exploration and discovery was like unwrapping a beautiful gift. She'd never forget this night, a dream come true of being held and loved by the man she loved.

  "What are you thinking Mae?" Joined with her, John stopped moving and pressed a kiss to her brow. "Why are you frowning?"

  "I'm puzzled at how I could ever deserve to be so happy." Mae replied kissing his lips.

  "You deserve so much more." He continued to keep an eye on her, a soft curve to his lips. "I love you."

  "And I love you John McClain. But..."

  "But?"

  "Please keep moving; don't stop." She lifted her hips to emphasize her words.

  Thankfully he took instruction well.

  When their movements reached a frantic pace from which there was only one outcome, the breathtaking destination of bliss, Mae called out his name and lost all control flaying under him.

  John's hoarse cry penetrated through the fogginess and she held him until he finally relaxed.

  "I love you Mae, I love you so much." John began pressing kisses all over her face and Mae knew it was true because she accepted it fully, the words sinking into her very soul.

  Epilogue

  Sitting on the front porch he worked oil into the leather of a new saddle, John watched Mae and Wesley stroll back to the house. They'd kept their tradition of taking walks every day. Side-by-side the two loves of his life walked toward him. Mae seemed to be speaking to the boy while he listened intently. She gave Wesley lessons daily, from the basics like writing and arithmetic to history and other things. It worked out well that thanks to Miss Lady's insistence, Mae was well schooled. Wesley would grow up to be the same.

  Each day John became more grateful for the beautiful woman he'd married. Now as she grew round with their second child, she insisted they refer to the baby as, claiming Wesley as her first, she was radiant.

  Mae looked up and waved toward him. When their eyes met, his heart began to pound in his chest. The love he felt for her barely containable beneath his breast.

  "You should not be moving around so much," John admonished when they reached the house's porch.

  Mae rolled her eyes and accepted his help to sit. Elma materialized and brought with her a light blanket. "Senora Mae, you should rest. The baby will come any day now."

  "If I left it up to you two, I'd spend my days in bed bored to death," Mae fussed, but accepted the blanket and placed it over her lap.

  "Pa I go see the calf?" Wesley asked shuffling from one foot to the other with impatience. At almost four now, he'd began to shed his chubbiness. "Mr. Alan said I can help him."

  John nodded and Wesley shot from the porch, sprinting toward the barn.

  "I'm glad Alan remains with us. Wesley adores him," Mae said smiling and tracking Wesley's retreating figure.

  John agreed. "Yeah, he's got a way with kids. I'm surprised he's not married and had some of his own."

  Mae rolled her eyes. "Oh it's obvious, it won't be long until we celebrate another wedding and perhaps there will even be children of his running about."

  "What are you talking about Mae?" John asked.

  "The reason Alan remains here is the same reason Lucinda does. They care for each other, but they are taking their time, getting to know each other."

  "Oh." John was glad Lucinda asked to remain when Miss Lady passed away. The solemn young woman claimed to have no reason to return to Virginia, especially since Mae sold the brothel to Butch Mason. "Now that I think about it, I have noticed certain looks between them. Heck I thought it was this land the reason they remain, everyone just falls in love with it."

  She reached for John's hand and looked to the distance. "This place is beautiful, I can't wait to fill it with children, to see them run and play with Wesley and this one." She patted her stomach.

  "Fill it?" John's eyebrows were raised and his mouth open in mock horror. "Where do you get the idea I want more children Missus McClain?"

  Mae slapped at his arm. "I overheard you telling Joshua the other day. You've always wanted a large family."

  His eyes lingered on her stomach for a moment. "I am looking forward to my life with you Mae. I love you more than life itself."

  Tears sprung and she went to wipe them away but John leaned forward and took her face in his hands and kissed them away.

  "I would have never taken you for such a romantic," Mae sniffed. "You were always so stern and rigid."

  "Survival. It's how I could cope with everything I saw and had to do," He kissed her again softly.

  "Oh!" Mae straightened and grabbed at her stomach. "That was a hard one."

  John paled and stood. "Is it time?"

  Mae's laughte
r ringed brightly. "No, the baby kicked me."

  "I can't wait to spend time with our children and the Jacobs', the children become close friends. I just know it."

  At the familiar speech, John kissed her brow. "It's amazing how they are expecting their first child just a few months after us isn't it?"

  "It's another of many miracles in our life," Mae agreed and jumped. "Ooh another kick."

  Three days later, John held his new daughter in his arms while sitting in a rocking chair he'd made for Mae. Moonlight from the window fell over his sleeping wife's face. Her golden hair spread over the pillow, lovely in her sleep, a soft curve to her lips, she was like he imagined angels looked like.

  The baby squirmed and let out a soft whimper and even though it was a low sound Mae's eyes popped open and she looked to him. "Is Lady hungry?"

  John smiled at her sudden alertness. "No she's gone back to sleep. And you should too, you need to rest."

  Mae's soft emerald eyes met his and her lips curved into a slow smile. "I want to hold her. She's so beautiful. Looks so much like you. You make beautiful babies John McClain."

  Warmth filled him and he got up and laid the child in her arms and then he climbed onto the bed next to his wife taking them both into his arms. "I will have to argue the point." John kissed Mae's hair. "Although her hair is dark like mine, her little upturned nose is much more like yours."

  "Hmm, perhaps, but her eyes are a light blue. They will darken to a beautiful gray." Mae told him with a lazy smile.

  "Is Lady 'wake?" Wesley's head appeared from the opening in the doorway. His eyes locked directly onto his sister. "Can I hold her?"

  Mae shifted and gave the sleeping baby to John, and then she held her arms out. "Come here Wesley."

  The boy giggled and jumped into the bed immediately snuggling into Mae's embrace. "It's hot in here Mama." He told her but John noted he didn't move away.