Taking a quick glance at Josephina to makes sure she is fine, I turn my attention to Kasey. She’s gripping her armrest with a force that is making her knuckles turn white. Her eyes are tightly shut, the strain clear on her face. From the rise and fall of her chest, I know she’s panicking. I try to pry her fingers from their tight grip on the armrest, but it proves difficult with the force she’s using. I start to see tears escape her closed eyelids and my heart begins to ache seeing her like this. It’s entirely my fault she’s going through this.
I reach up to pull her head closer to me as I begin to whisper in her ear. “Kasey, you need to calm down. You’re going to scare Josephina if she see’s you this way.” Hoping she’s listening to me as I say the words.
Frantically, she shakes her head, her eyes still tightly shut when I hear her whimper. “Please, Kasey.” I desperately plead, praying she’ll listen. The plane jolts, the shutter making Kasey’s sobs return. On the other side of me I hear a giggling Josephina, the opposite of what I have facing me. Knowing Josephina is still okay, I continue focusing my attention on Kasey.
I need to do something, anything, to calm her down before she has a heart attack on me. I do the only thing that comes to mind. Grabbing her face, forcing her to face me, I don’t wait for her to open her eyes before my mouth is descending down onto hers to give her a kiss on her closed lips.
Her eyes go wide, letting out a gasp against my lips. Taking advantage, I deepen the kiss, pushing my tongue into her mouth. My tongue grazes hers and I can feel the warmth of it, making it impossible to hold back. My eyes close as I tilt her head to better kiss her, wanting to taste more of her. My tongue glides against hers, exploring every inch of her mouth with each second that goes by. I feel her moan into my mouth and I swear it’s the greatest sound I’ve ever heard.
The excitement of knowing I’m kissing Kasey again makes me want more. She tastes so sweet. Better than the memories I hold from the last time I kissed her. The memories and dreams I’ve had for the last five years don’t compare to the way it feels as I’m kissing her right now.
I want to keep kissing her forever, but the thought is easily broken. “Are you guys going to be stuck like that forever?” Josephina asks from the other side of me, followed by her cute little giggle.
Kasey shoves at my chest. Our mouths quickly break apart, making me open my eyes to stare at her. Her breathing looks as rapid and heavy as mine. Her lips look swollen and her face is flushed with a pink blush from the kiss. I’m still holding her face in my palms, but when her hands come up and grab for my wrists, she pulls my hands from her face, leaving me disappointed. I’m still in shock from kissing her that I easily allow her to pull away.
The plane’s turbulence is gone and the pilot is announcing we can safely move about the cabin now. Kasey leans her body across mine to reach for Josephina to check on her. The feeling of her body rubbing up against my chest isn’t helping with the carnal thoughts flooding my mind. They started the moment I began kissing her. Remembering what resulted from the last time I kissed her.
Kasey’s calm collective voice breaks my memory. “No, sweetheart, we won’t get stuck like that forever. It shouldn’t have happened,” she sternly states, more like a reprimand.
Hearing her say those words is a stab to my heart.
She leans back into her chair to quickly unbuckle her seatbelt, before she stands up, making her way down the aisle to the restroom. As I watch her walk away, I wonder if she’s angry with me. From the way she was returning my kiss, I would have thought she wanted it too, but her horrified expression is telling me otherwise.
I don’t know what is going through her mind at this moment, but I know what’s going through mine, that was the best kiss I’ve had since leaving for boot camp. I don’t regret kissing her at all.
I’M STANDING IN the bathroom of the airplane gripping the counter for dear life. My body is uncontrollably trembling. I don’t know if it’s from the fear of knowing I’m still on a plane, or the fact that Joseph just finished kissing me. I want to believe it’s from my fear, but in my mind I know it’s from the kiss. I won’t deny the fact he has that effect on me.
My body is burning with a longing to go back to Joseph, to kiss him again. It took every ounce of energy to stand up and walk away from him. I’d forgotten he’s engaged to someone else while he was kissing me; my mind was lost in the moment. I was a desperate child with a candy bar. The taste of his kiss was too sweet and addicting to resist. I wanted more with every second our mouths were fused together.
Pulling my face up to look into the mirror, I take in my flushed expression. Bringing my fingers up to my swollen lips, I can still feel them tingling from the kiss. It’s like a burning fire I never want extinguished. Closing my eyes, I savor the memory a little longer, embedding it into my thoughts. My lips start to tremble when I remember the first time Joseph kissed me. He’s the only person who has ever kissed me. Our kiss that night was no comparison to the one he just finished giving me.
Breathing deeply, to calm my erratic nerves, I force myself to bring my body under control. I need to get back to my seat. Exiting the bathroom, I head back to my seat and see Joseph leaning towards Josephina, their heads closely leaning next to each other as they talk about the clouds.
Taking my seat, Joseph turns, looking concerned when he does. “Are you alright?” he asks curiously, his face expressionless, as if what happened minutes ago hasn’t affected him at all.
The lump in my throat is preventing me from speaking. I’m afraid to say or ask something I might regret, so I stay silently sitting in my seat. The thought that he simply kissed me out of pity is turning my stomach upside down. Joseph turns his attention back to Josephina, dismissing me; confirming he no longer has any concern for me. Making me feel pitiful.
A couple of minutes go by, the pilot announces we’ll soon be landing in San Diego, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I want to get off this plane. This time for reasons other than my fear.
An hour later, we’re waiting at the conveyer belt distributing the luggage from our plane when Joseph resumes speaking to me. “My friend should be here any minute to pick us up. As soon as he does, we’ll be on our way home.”
I’m confused as I glare at him, standing there deciphering his last words, as if there is any real meaning to the definition of what they were meant to represent.
“You mean your place?” I mumble to him, waiting to hear his response. I don’t get one though because a young man steps up, distracting us both.
Reaching out to shake Joseph’s hand, he has an easy smile on his face. “Hey, Staff Sergeant, how was your vacation?” he cheerfully asks Joseph, already reaching for the bags in my hand. “I can get that for you ma’am,” he kindly states.
My eyes are still on Joseph as he skeptically looks at me. “This is one of the Marines under my command. His name is Lance Corporal Jones, but you can call him Michael.”
Michael reaches out to shake my hand as I grab a hold of Josephina, pulling her to me. “Corporal Jones, this is my daughter Josephina,” Joseph says pointing to her, then over to me. “And, her mother Kasey,” he says to him.
The young man is taken by surprise, but he quickly smiles. “So you got married early, Staff Sergeant?” he asks, surprising me with his words.
“I’m not his wife, or the fiancée he intends to marry,” I quickly correct. By how surprised he looks, it’s clear he wasn’t expecting me to say those words as he embarrassedly looks at me.
“I’m sorry, ma’am.”
With the awkwardness still in the air, we begin our exit towards the parking lot as Michael leads the way to a large, four door, blue, Chevy Silverado. Digging the keys from his pocket he tosses them at Joseph. He catches them with one hand and disengages the alarm. He opens one of the truck’s back doors to place Josephina’s booster seat behind the driver’s seat, lifting her up into the truck to follow.
Walking my way over to the other side to sit ne
xt to her, I’m quickly met with Michael who is already climbing into the back seat, leaving me confused. Where am I supposed to sit?
Looking at the front seat, it dawns on me it’s the only seat left. With the confusion still on my face as I look at Michael, I am hoping he’ll allow me to take his seat instead. “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. I’d assumed you’d be riding in the front with Staff Sergeant since it is his vehicle,” he says, looking more confused than I felt a moment ago.
Sighing to myself, I give up because he’s already buckled himself in and I’d hate to be rude by making him move. I climb into the front seat of the truck, trying not to look disappointed. I can’t blame the guy for being a gentleman. Joseph quickly climbs into the driver’s side, already starting up the truck as he looks over at me, smiling.
Joseph’s smile softens his face, making him look less intimidating. He looks happy and excited about something as he drives away. I could only sit there wondering what it can be, now that he’s focused on the road ahead of us.
To distract myself, I do the same. Taking in the sights, while absorbing the scenery that we swiftly drive by, I notice how you have to take a freeway to get anywhere around here. I’ve lost track of how many different ones we’ve had to take after leaving the airport. With all the twist and turns, it was easy to do. It was required to get on and off them repeatedly. I would definitely get lost here if I had to drive myself around.
Thirty minutes later, we're pulling onto base to drop Michael off. Joseph then drives us around to give us a quick tour, showing us were he works, telling us about what he does and what it entails. His job doesn’t sound very interesting, but I nod my head making sure to indicate I’m interested. I don’t understand the military and its ways, but then again I never had to. With our tour quickly over, he starts to drive off base and I suddenly grow confused as we exit the gates.
“You don’t live on base?” I ask him, still looking at the gates behind us as we wait at the light.
Keeping his eyes on the road ahead of him he shakes his head. “No. When I got back from oversees I got an apartment. With my rank I have the freedom to live off base,” he simply answers.
“What exactly is it you do?” I ask, realizing I never specifically asked. He looks at me with a smile. “I work in communications. It’s one of the most important things needed in the military, but with my rank, I pretty much just boss people around every now and then,” he clarifies with a chuckle.
Rolling my eyes at his remark I don’t question him any further, because really, what more could I ask? I don’t understand all the technical aspects of being in the military. The light turns green and he drives off, but doesn’t get back on the freeway this time; instead, he takes several different streets that lead us to an apartment complex. Parking his truck, we all climb out. Joseph tells me to leave the luggage and that he’ll return for it later. I don’t dispute, since I feel tired from the trip, and follow him to his apartment; eager to see where he lives. He leads us to a set of stairs, climbs them, and opens the door at the top.
We enter and the first thing I notice is how simple the apartment looks. It has the basics: a couch, a flat screen on the wall, and a small table off to the side of the kitchen, presumably the dinning area. Even the kitchen looks pretty bare.
Shutting the door behind him, I continue taking in the room. “You and Josephina can have the bedroom since it’s the only room. I’ll take the couch while you guys are here,” he offers before pointing his chin to the only item in the living room.
With a tilt of his chin, I follow him to the room, and I notice it looks just as bare as the rest of the place. There is only a bed and a small dresser against the wall. A door is off to the side, which leads into a bathroom. The sink and vanity are outside the bathroom.
Looking around the room as well, Joseph shrugs his shoulder. “It’s simple, but I guess I really don’t need much since I’m a guy,” he says to me. I agree by nodding my head, being that I don’t have much either.
Since we’re all exhausted from the plane ride, Joseph decides it’s easier to order pizza so we can eat in. With dinner done, we all take turns taking a shower. Josephina, of course, takes her bath last since she likes to linger in the tub.
When it gets dark, we all head to bed. Joseph takes the couch, as he said he would, while Josephina and I take his king size bed. There was so much room on it that there was a huge gap in between the two of us. Normally I would be close to her. It felt strange to have so much room between us. It makes me restless, but since I’m exhausted, I figured I would be able to simply fall asleep. A couple of hours later though, I discover that I can’t. No matter how exhausted I feel from traveling, sleep still eludes me. I know if I keep tossing and turning I’m eventually going to wake Josephina, so I need to distract myself. I look over to the clock on the dresser that Joseph has and see it’s a little after midnight. Technically, since my body hasn’t adjusted to Pacific Time, I know it’s more like after two a.m.
Being that I’m a bit thirsty, I decide to get up and get something to drink. I slowly walk out of the bedroom, tip-toeing myself over to the kitchen. I take a quick glance at Joseph sleeping on the couch, taking in his body as he lies there. His arm is thrown over his eyes and I can see his chest slowly rising and falling. Not wanting to wake him up, I keep walking slowly in the direction of the kitchen towards the fridge. The light coming in through the window helps me to navigate throughout the kitchen. Opening the cabinet containing the glasses, I take one out, and then open the fridge to get the water. Pouring some into the glass and slowly closing the fridge back up, I start to walk back to the bedroom trying desperately not to make any noise.
“You couldn’t sleep, either?” I hear Joseph’s deep mumble from the couch, startling me, causing me to spill half my water over my chest. The coldness of the water makes me gasp loudly, the shock freezing me to the spot. Joseph quickly jumps up from the couch and heads in the direction of the kitchen, returning with a dishtowel. He starts dabbing at my chest chuckling at the same time.
For some odd reason I grow irritated at hearing his laugh, especially since he’s the reason why I spilled the water on myself in the first place. Not thinking twice about my next thought, I pour the remaining water down the front of his chest, making him gasp like I did.
“It doesn’t feel so good, does it?” I tease, holding up the glass, now chuckling at him. His white shirt looks more saturated than mine.
His eyes are wide in surprise as his shirt sticks to his chest.
“Oh yeah,” I hear him say, before he pulls me closely against his body. A gasp escapes my lips when our bodies meet. I wasn’t expecting his shirt to feel so cold.
I forcefully try to push at his chest, attempting to shove myself away, but he keeps his arms tightly wrapped around me. I can feel the rumble of his laughter from his chest. It’s contagious. I can’t help but laugh with him.
Our laughter soon dies though when I stare up at him, I can see his eyes; they’re dark with hunger. A hunger I’ve seen before. It literally takes my breath away.
He leans down and I close my eyes as his lips gently touch mine. I feel him pull back, making me open my eyes. I’m weak from the simple touch of his kiss. My body feels like it’s been turned into a pile of mush as I watch his lips go up into a sensual smile. The smile reminds me of our kiss on the plane and the remorse I’d felt earlier.
“No, Joseph, we shouldn’t be doing this.” My arms try to push him away, but just like before, he keeps his arms tightly wrapped around my body. My eyes are still locked onto his when he asks, “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong? How can you ask, what’s wrong? You’re engaged to someone else, Joseph. Did you forget that?” The anger within me has now replaced the longing I once had for him. He stands in front of me, looking as if what I’ve said is surreal.
He sighs, his face turning disappointed, as he let me go, my body already missing the loss of his arms. “It’s not how you think, Kasey.”
/>
I’m unable to stay silent to his response. “I shouldn’t have even come. It was a mistake,” I whisper, my heart aching as I say the words. I’m torn as I ponder whether I’ve made the biggest mistake by coming, or would I have been left wondering if I would have regretted it the rest of my life. From the look of disappointment on Joseph’s face, I know the words have affected him as well.
“Please don’t say that.” The pain of my words is clear in his voice.
Waiting for an answer, I question, “Why did you want me to come, Joseph? I have no reason to even be here. How do you think your fiancée is going to feel when she finds out you brought not only Josephina, but me as well? Did you ever stop and ask yourself that?”
“I don’t care what she thinks, Kasey. I brought you both here because I can’t stand the thought of knowing that you’re so far away,” he utters, raking his hand over his head, looking frustrated.
“What do you expect, Joseph? Madison is where I live. You live here. There will always be distance between us, whether you like it or not. It’s the way it’s always going to be,” I confess, the realization of knowing how far apart we’d always be feels like a punishment to both of us. His first words return to me, leaving me shocked by his declaration. “How can you say you don’t care what she thinks? Don’t you love her enough to care about her feelings?”
He remains silent, his lips going flat as if he refuses to answer.
“Well?” I demand.
“I don’t love her anymore,” he whispers, I’m barely able to hear, but I do.
I’m shocked, frozen, and unable to breathe, or properly think as my heart feels as if it’s dropped into the pit of my stomach. My body feels as if it’s spinning again, leaving me unable to react to his response.
“What do you mean you don’t love her anymore?” I force myself to ask. The words rasping in my throat, as I practically whisper them, because I feel like the blood has been completely drained from my body as I stand, waiting for an answer.
With Me Page 15