by Ryan Casey
Chapter Forty-Five
Sarah battled to keep her eyes open.
She battled with the pain splitting through her body. The pain radiating through her stomach, getting stronger and stronger and stronger.
She battled with the sound of the screaming still radiating in her ears, still circling her thoughts in that haunting way, that way that she’d never get over, that she’d never forget.
And she knew right then as the shouting continued outside, as Ian’s voice carried on echoing towards her, she knew that this was it.
That this was the end.
That there was no future for her. No future for her child.
No hope.
She felt Ellie’s hand on her shoulder and she looked up into her eyes.
She was saying things to her. Telling her to stay with her. To hold it together and stay with her. That she was going to be okay; everything was going to be okay.
But she could see the pain and the fear in her eyes—and in the eyes of the children behind her, and in Hailey’s eyes—and she knew they were only telling her what she wanted to hear. That it was over now. That she didn’t have long left.
Her pain grew even worse when she felt dampness between her legs. When she looked down between her thighs, and she saw it. The blood. Red blood. Just like that day all those years ago when she’d lost her first child. Just like that day repeated all over again.
Only this time, it wasn’t just her baby dying.
She was dying too.
She was ready to go now.
She didn’t want to live in a world this hard. A world this cruel.
She looked back up at Ellie and she smiled at her as she stared down at the blood in horror.
She grabbed her hand. Tightened her grip around her forearm.
“For everything,” Sarah said. “Thank you. Thank you.”
And then she lost her grip and her eyes closed.
She heard Ellie shouting. Felt her hands on her shoulder, shaking her. She heard the violence, the chaos, all around.
But at that moment, together, alive, with her baby, she felt peace.
For the first time in a long time, she felt total peace.
She closed her burning eyes and let that feeling of peace take over her; let it envelop her like a warm blanket.
Because she was ready to go now.
She was ready to drift away.
She felt the pain in her tummy receding. Heard the sounds around her disappearing. The tastes in her mouth fading. The smells in her nostrils rolling back and transforming into the smell of lilies, of fresh blankets and of the countryside…
Then she saw Bobby’s smiling face staring down at her, laughing that cheeky laugh.
She smiled back at him, a warm tear rolling down her face.
“I’m coming now, Bobby,” she said. “I’m ready now.”
She took a deep breath and lifted herself towards him.
She reached out, her fingertips so close to scraping with his.
So close to joining him…
And then she heard Alex’s voice.
Only Alex’s voice wasn’t in the fantasy.
It wasn’t in the illusion.
She battled with force to open her eyes, to return to her senses. And she did. All of them hit her—sight, sound, taste, touch, smell—like a hammer to the head.
But only one of them mattered.
Only one of them.
And it was right in front of the crate.
Right opposite her.
Alex looked over at her. He smiled. “I’m here now, love,” he said. “I’m here.”
Chapter Forty-Six
I stood opposite the entrance to the extraction point, Ian and his people standing right between me and my hope of a new start, and I prepared for what would be the most important, critical few moments of my life.
The soldiers guarding the safe haven stared down, guns still raised. I knew they’d probably be confused about all this, about who I was. It would be safe for them to assume I was with Ian; that I was just another of his people.
And maybe lying would be the best way of working my way into this extraction point. Maybe not being completely honest would be the only shot I had at securing a future—not only for myself but for my family.
But the time for games had long since passed.
The time for action was here.
“Alex?”
Goosepimples sprouted across my arms when I heard Sarah’s voice.
I turned into the crate and I saw her.
She was lying back against the cold, hard floor of the crate. She was so pale.
Other than the blood drooling from her lips.
The blood seeping from between her legs.
Sickness hit me right away. I started to stumble towards the crate, towards her.
But then I stopped.
I stopped because I knew that was what Ian would want.
Me, inside that crate, along with everyone else.
So I took a deep breath. And with all the willpower I had, I looked at Sarah, who was being well looked after by Ellie and Hailey, and I smiled.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’ve got this.”
Then I turned around and faced Ian.
Ian stared at me, a thin smile across his face. His favourite knife was in hand, glinting of what was left of the evening sun. “So,” he said. “This is what it’s come to, has it? This is what you disobeying orders again and again has brought us to, hmm?”
“There’s no need for any more violence here,” I said.
Ian laughed. “Oh, really? See, I think you’re wrong about that.”
He pointed to the smouldering embers on the ground. I could smell charred meat coming from them.
“Your friend, there. Ibrahim. Do you think he agrees?”
My jaw shook. My stomach turned. I wanted to go over there, to punch Ian. But at the same time, I knew he was goading me. Trying to lure me in. And I had to resist that. I had to resist anything he wanted me to do because I knew damn well that was a trap.
So I looked away from Ian and right up at the soldiers as they stood there, guns raised. “Whatever you do,” I said. “Don’t let this man in. Don’t let his people in. And don’t even so much as think about complying with whatever he’s asking of you. The future of this extraction point might just depend on it.
The soldiers looked at one another then. I couldn’t hear what they were saying from this far down. But it certainly seemed like they were caught in a dilemma about what to do.
I looked over at Ian, then. And this time, I noticed there was something different about him. That smile. That smile that so often stretched across his lips. It was gone. Nowhere to be seen. “You do realise what that means, don’t you? You realise exactly what happens if those gates don’t open?”
“I don’t care,” I said. “The gates don’t open. You don’t get what I want. I’ll die before you get what you want.”
Ian laughed. He put his hands on his hips, shaking his head. “Well, that’s just as well, matey. Because if those gates open, you will die. And the people you care about will all die, too. And they’ll die in the most painful, horrible way. Is that what you really want? Can you live with that on your conscience?”
Dread crept into my body. I looked into the crate, over at Sarah.
Her eyes had closed again. She didn’t look like she was responding. And just seeing her like this made me lose my will to live entirely.
But no.
I had to fight.
I had to do the right thing.
I had to trust in myself.
I looked back at Ian. “I know exactly what it means,” I said.
Ian’s face dropped, then. Just for a moment, it completely dropped. “You—you realise what—”
“I realise exactly what you’re saying,” I said. “You’ll kill my wife and my unborn child. You’ll kill Ellie and Hailey, just like you killed Suzy and Ibrahim. You’ll kill those beautiful little innocent
kids, Will and Kaileigh. Both of whom have lost parents. And then you’ll kill me. And you know what? You know what the amazing thing about all of this is? You’ll still not get what you want. Even with all of us dead, you’ll still be out here, still unable to get inside that extraction point.”
Ian’s eyes turned bloodshot. His cheeks were reddening.
“I spoke to Bob just before.”
A few heads in the group turned. Like they’d heard the name of an old friend.
“He was dying. On his last legs. And you know what he said? You know what the last thing he said to me was? He told me you’re nothing without fear. That if people stop fearing you and start trusting themselves, then you lose every little bit of your power. And I can see that now. I can see it clearly. Because I don’t fear you anymore. I trust myself.” I looked around at Ian’s people. “And the rest of you should trust yourselves, too. It isn’t too late to change your minds. It isn’t too late to start afresh. There’s a whole new world out there. You just have to trust that you’re strong enough to take it on.”
Chatter arose amongst Ian’s group. And I could tell that they were hearing what I was saying. They understood.
Weapons lowered. Eyes turned from me to Ian.
And Ian just stood there, totally in silence like a scared little child.
I looked into his eyes as the silence continued and I waited. Waited for him to stand down. Because that’s all he could do now the fear in him had burst like a balloon. Stand down.
He sighed. Put his knife away. Walked towards me. Then he put a hand on my shoulder.
He looked right into my eyes.
“If that’s the way you want it to be,” he said.
A pause.
Then he lifted a match and threw it into the crate.
I spun around. Watched the match fly through the air. Into the crate. Towards my friends. Towards my family.
Everyone watched in silence as it got closer and closer.
And then it landed.
The flames weren’t instant. There was a delay of just a couple of seconds.
But when they caught, they erupted and spread all around the cabin.
All around Ellie. Hailey. Kaileigh. Will.
Sarah.
Our child.
Ian patted my shoulder, as my heart raced, my stomach tensed. “Afraid yet?” he said.
Chapter Forty-Seven
I saw the flames surrounding my wife, my unborn child, and my friends and I knew I couldn’t just stand here and watch them burn.
I knew there were voices coming from Ian’s people. In the corner of my eyes, I saw horrified expressions; realisations, almost, that this was all getting too much for them. All getting too real. I heard the soldiers barking at them to stand down, to back off. I swore I even heard gunfire.
But I didn’t care about any of it.
Just the flames.
Just the people I needed to get to.
The people I needed to help.
I threw myself towards the flames.
Right away, I felt their heat hit me like an intense furnace. Sweat started dripping right away. My lungs were filled with air full of smoke, which made me cough and splutter.
But I resisted everything my body was telling me about staying put.
I resisted it all.
Because nothing mattered more than being with my people. With making sure they were okay.
I threw myself between the flames before they could surround me, looked around.
Ellie was holding on to Kaileigh. Hailey was holding Will’s hand. Tears rolled down his cheeks.
I walked over to Ellie, the glow of the flames lighting up her face. “You need to get her out of here,” I said.
Ellie shook her head, glasses steaming up. “But Sarah—”
“I’ll deal with Sarah,” I said. “You need to get out of here with Kaileigh right now. Same for you with Will, Hailey. Get out. Quick. Before it’s too late.”
I saw the looks on Ellie and Hailey’s faces then. I saw the tears in their eyes. They knew what this was. They knew what I was doing.
“Go,” I said, hardly able to speak for the lump in my throat. “Just… go.”
Ellie looked at Hailey, then back at me. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me, mate.”
She leaned in. Kissed me on my cheek. The smell of the smoke suddenly reminded me of her, and only her.
Then her, Hailey and the kids disappeared out of the flames.
I didn’t know what kind of showdown they’d stepped into outside. I didn’t know if they’d gone somewhere better or worse than the place they’d already been.
I just knew that I had to trust in myself that they were okay.
I had to believe.
If I didn’t… it would tear me apart.
I looked down at Sarah then, as the flames got hotter and the smoke got thicker.
I fell down to her side. Her eyes were only just open. She was bleeding—badly.
I lifted her head with my shaking hand and looked into her eyes.
She looked back up at me. And in spite the circumstances, in spite of everything we were going through, I saw the flames twinkling in her eyes and I couldn’t deny how beautiful she looked, and how perfect this moment was.
A smile stretched across her face. “I knew you’d come for me,” she said.
I nodded, tears streaming down my face. “I’m here. I’m here.”
She reached up with her shaky hand, touched my cheek. “We can be together now. All of us. We can be together. One happy…”
She didn’t finish what she was saying. “Family,” I said. “One happy family.”
I looked over my shoulder.
I couldn’t see out of the crate for the flames anymore.
And as I crouched there, the heat from the flames searing my clothes, melting them into my skin, I knew that this was it now. This was the moment Sarah and I, and our child, moved on.
But… no.
I had to trust that something was going to happen here.
I had to trust in my own people.
And I had to trust in myself.
I looked around. Looked above. Looked below. “There has to be another way,” I said.
Sarah wasn’t responding. I didn’t know whether it was ’cause she was dead or because the fumes had completely got to her.
I just knew that I had to try something.
So I crouched down beside her. And with the little energy left in my body, I lifted Sarah up. “It’s not our time,” I said. “Not yet.”
I turned around. Faced the wall of flames. I knew how this was going to play out. If I walked into that wall, I’d probably die an agonising death, my wife and unborn child in my arms.
If I didn’t… I’d die an agonising death anyway.
So I held my breath. I gritted my teeth.
Then I went to make a step towards the wall of flames.
That was when I heard the shout.
“Alex!”
I thought I was hearing things. Some hallucinatory side effect of the fumes.
But no. I heard it again.
“Alex!”
Over my shoulder, to my right.
I looked to the right of the crate.
Ellie was standing at a small gap in the crate.
It didn’t look big. Hardly big enough to fit through.
But there were fewer flames around there.
There was more time.
I rushed over towards that gap. Crouched down beside it, Sarah in my arms.
“Come on,” Ellie said. “You—you can do this.”
I nodded. Then I lowered Sarah down. I didn’t want to let her go. I didn’t want to be without her. I didn’t want her to be outside, out of my sight, not for any longer.
But I had to believe in Ellie.
I had to trust in her.
I pushed Sarah through the gap. It wasn’t easy. It can’t have been pleasant.
But the
more I pushed, the more my hope started to rise.
My hope that I could do this.
My hope that my wife and my unborn child were going to be okay.
I felt flames nicking at my arms, causing sores right across my legs.
But I kept on going. Kept on pushing.
And then it happened.
Sarah was out.
My child was out.
My friends were out.
They were safe.
Ellie looked at me through her cracked glasses, panic in her eyes. “Alex, you need to… to just hold on a little longer.”
I shook my head. “I can’t. This… this is it.”
“You need to trust me, Alex. Just hold on a little longer. There’s something—”
An agonising jolt of pain spread across my feet, then started working its way up my legs.
I screamed. Involuntarily more than anything. I kicked out. But kicking out just made it worse. Kicking out just made it all the more agonising.
I held myself rigid as I lay on the crate floor, my eyes firmly fixed on the world outside.
I could see Ellie’s lips moving, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying.
I could see my wife lying there, people beside her, helping her up. And I knew I should care. I knew I should fear them.
But I didn’t.
Not anymore.
I looked up then, as the pain grew further up my body. And I saw a sunset. A beautiful orange sunset.
And as I looked at that sunset, I could see Sarah in it, holding our child in her arms. It was a girl. We’d named her Ophelia.
Sarah smiled at me. And in her eyes I saw Bobby, too. Both of them holding out their hands. Both of them inviting me along.
And as the pain in my lower half grew all the more crippling, I let go of my resistance to it.
I let go of the tension I was forcing through my body.
I let go. And I allowed myself to drift off, drift outside, out towards Sarah, towards Bobby, towards Ophelia.
“Just hold on…” I heard. “It’s going to be…”
I didn’t hear the rest of what Ellie said.
The pain stretched further up my body.
Then I felt a cool blanket of water slam against my body.