by Pat Simmons
“I was just trying to find the right outfit…” she admitted, bowing her head in shame. “I know it’s petty, but I want to show Steven that I’m blessed in spite of him.”
Christian chuckled. “There’s no need for that, babe.” He squeezed her. “That rock on your finger tells the story. Whether you’re in a rhinestone beaded dress or a pair of faded jeans and a T-shirt, Steven will know you’re loved by the way I look at you.
“It’s not about our joint bank account. The Andersen name in St. Louis will leave no doubt that I can take care of my family physically. Our happy children are proof that they’re okay wholeheartedly.”
Inhaling his cologne, Joy half-listened to his reasoning. His mouth always mesmerized her when he talked. She wanted so much to give him the best first Father’s Day.
“Any further questions, Mrs. Andersen?”
She giggled at his stern look that only worked on the children. “No, sir.” Giving him a salute, she turned back and eyed her clothes rack.
“Good.” He patted her hips and pointed to a sundress. “Wear that one. Besides black, red is my next favorite color.” He winked and strolled out of the closet as if he—they—didn’t have a care in the world. And somehow his cool mannerisms made her believe they didn’t.
Twenty minutes later, Joy had brushed her thick black hair up in a ponytail. The red sundress teased her knees. The strappy heeled sandals showcased her toned legs, courtesy of the exercise regimen she and Christian had established with the children. Three to four times a week, they would walk to a nearby park after dinner. She was surprised to see her husband had changed out of a short sleeved shirt in favor of a red polo shirt and khaki slacks to match her. He gave her the wink that conveyed they were a team.
Mrs. Thomas, their longtime babysitter, arrived on schedule. Privy to the details of why her services were needed at night, Joy’s former neighbor said she was pulling for them as she shooed them out the door.
“Everything is going to work out,” Mrs. Thomas gave them a reassuring thumbs up.
Once they were in the SUV, Joy reached for Christian’s hand. “Is it wrong for me not to want Steven to have a second chance?”
He didn’t answer right away as he backed out of the garage. “If I wasn’t in the picture, would you give Steven a second chance?”
Joy loved her husband, she really did, but one thing he did that annoyed her was forcing her to answer her own question. She gritted her teeth and exhaled. “For Jada’s sake—yes.”
“And this meeting is all for Jada’s sake, not yours or mine—and believe me I have to keep reminding myself of that.” Bringing their linked hands to his lips, Christian kissed her knuckles.
“I never imagined I would see you again after our chance meeting in the checkout line. For the sake of the little ones, you accepted my generosity. When I saw you again in that food pantry line for Thanksgiving dinner giveaways, you weren’t too ashamed to ask for the sake of feeding the children. You’ve always put them first. Let’s not stop now, babe.” He paused. “As I’m telling you, I’m reminding myself, too.”
“I didn’t realize second chances come with such a hefty price tag,” she complained, knowing that she displeased God, but she kept battling these tug of war emotions.
“Baby, we can weather this storm. Just let me cover you from the rain drops.” He glanced at her. “We’re a team. We’ve got to be a united front with this decision. We both want nothing more than for Steven to remain in hiding, but Jada may resent us for that later regardless of how much we smother her with love.”
“Of course, you’re right,” Joy reluctantly admitted. Glancing out the window for a distraction, she focused on West St. Louis County’s night skyline where world-renowned hospitals St. John’s Mercy and Missouri Baptist dotted Interstate 270. “I know, it sounds good on paper, but in my heart…I’m not so convinced. As we say in the state, ‘I’m from Missouri, “show me” your good intentions.’”
***
Christian was accustomed to wearing a game face. He and his brothers had to bring it to the negotiation table whenever their company did business. Yet beneath the exterior, he had to make sure the meeting wasn’t about who had the most testosterone. God, give me wisdom to judge a man’s heart, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Soon, they arrived at Cini on South Grand in Midtown. The area was the cultural district, where city dwellers and suburbia met at Powell Symphony Hall, the Black Rep Theater, and the Fabulous Fox Theater. St. Louis University and Harris Stowe State University, a historically Black college, were also nearby.
Purposely, Christian had chosen one of his wife’s favorite Italian restaurants in hopes that she would feel relaxed. He parked, they said a quick prayer, then stepped out, walking quietly hand in hand inside.
The two were barely inside Cini when Joy’s body stiffened as she squeezed his hand. Christian massaged some of the tension out of her grip with his thumb.
“Steven,” Joy said as the man stood with a woman beside him. “This is my husband, Christian Andersen.”
Christian tried to size the man up as they shook hands. He was clean-cut. Jada had his nose. Otherwise, his little girl was the mirror image of his wife: thick black hair, wide inquisitive eyes, and a crooked smile that would tease the hearts of men when she was old enough to get married—maybe in her thirties. Make that forties.
Steven was an inch or two shorter than him, a shade or two darker and a couple of pounds lighter—give or take ten or fifteen. Christian withheld his smirk. Nothing jumped out at him that this man would have less than Jada’s best interest at heart or would steal Jada’s affections from him, so why did he sign his rights away? At the time, Christian didn’t question the man’s motives, now he would.
“This is my fiancée, Gina Ross.” The woman was an eye-catcher, but unlike his wife, she didn’t seem polished. Gina appeared uncomfortable in her conservative attire of a white blouse and mid-length skirt. Her makeup—somewhat faint—seemed out of place where Joy made it seem natural. Stop it! There was no reason to compare this woman with his wife. He wasn’t shopping. He had what he wanted—Joy.
“Congratulations,” Joy said with an edge, eying the woman with an unreadable expression.
What is my wife thinking? Christian wondered as a hostess greeted him and escorted them to a table. Once they were seated, the hostess recited the specials and she gave them menus. “Your server will be with you shortly.” Then she left.
Opting to share a menu, or rather hiding behind it, Christian whispered, “Are you okay?” Her soulful eyes let him know this moment was difficult. Was it because of the hurt Steven had caused, or seeing that Jada’s biological father had moved on to a new woman or what the old flame demanded from her? His questions were endless.
After their server took their orders, Steven folded his hands and cleared his throat. “Joy, I apologize for not being there the past three years for Jada.”
“Four,” Christian corrected. “She just celebrated a birthday.” Shaking his head, he apologized for his rudeness. There was no reason for him to be on the offensive. The ball was in the Andersen court.
“Right.” Steven nodded. “I should have known that.” Gina reached for his hand. Steven took it and looked into Gina’s eyes like Christian often did when he was in awe of his wife’s beauty.
“I also regret giving up my rights to be a real father to Jada. Gina has helped me to see the error of my ways. I do want a relationship with my daughter.”
Lord…You’re going to have to pry these words out my mouth and believe them. “My wife and I don’t have a problem with that, and I’m sure Jada won’t either when she’s able to understand life’s complexities. Until then, I’m willing to have the courts make necessary changes…”
Christian blinked. Did he just say all that? What happened to a few rounds of the cat and mouse game, or the “make him sweat” tactic that he had intended to use? Evidently, God had a different game plan. Leaning over, he kissed Joy’s lips as
he read the confusion on her face. He wanted to assure her that God was chairing this meeting. Still, Christian’s trump card was to exercise his free will.
“Since you voluntarily signed over all your parental rights to Joy and me, I think twelve visits a year, once a month for a supervised visit seems fair…of course you would have to submit to a background check, criminal and financial.”
Steven’s outwardly humbled nature vanished as he raised his voice. “What? I am her father. You’re just her stepfather.”
Lord, Christian’s eye twitched as he struggled to keep his composure, don’t let this man provoke me. He drummed his fingers on the table as their meals were placed before them, providing a cool down period.
“Anything else?” their hostess asked eagerly, but Joy shooed her away.
Taking a time out, Christian reached for Joy’s hand and said a quick silent prayer before softly saying grace. “Lord, we thank You for this food for the nourishment and enjoyment of our bodies. Please bless it and sanctify it and Lord, please guide this discussion according to Your will, in Jesus’ name.”
Everyone murmured, “Amen.”
Christian spun the pasta around his fork and then slid it in his mouth. He focused on the flavor. The seasoning was what he expected. He took his time swallowing, then resigned himself to continue as he squinted at the couple across from him.
“Listen, if this is about back child support, I’m more than willing to make arrangements,” Steven stated, looking at Gina for agreement. She nodded her willingness.
“Nah, this isn’t about the money,” Christian said.
“Otherwise, you would have been in jail by now if I had pursued it,” Joy pointed out, then batted her lashes.
Dabbing his napkin on his mouth, Christian intercepted. “I think you’re missing the point here. My vows didn’t include step anything. Joy is not my step-wife. Neither is Jada my stepdaughter.” He paused to allow the man to understand the depth of his commitment as a responsible parent. “We both want to be her father on Father’s Day, but legally only one of us is entitled to that.”
“I see. I was hoping for more involvement in her young life. For example, weekends.”
The man seemed sincere enough, although Christian thought he had a lot of nerve to demand so much. Closing his eyes, Christian waited for God’s voice for direction—nothing. He took a sip of water. “Steven, I appreciate that you’re trying to play catch up with Jada, but not at our expense. Jada is adjusting to having a father in the home. I don’t want her to get confused about who is nurturing her. I’m willing to agree to once a month, but not joint custody at this time, considering the circumstances.”
“You act as if I’m a criminal.”
“I will verify that,” Christian stated, dueling Steven in a fierce stare down. “Just because you’re her biological father, doesn’t exempt her from being a victim of child abuse at your hands.”
Out of the corner of Christian’s eye, he caught Gina shifting in her seat. What’s going on with her? he wondered as he pushed his plate aside, despite his appetite after the daylong fast. “As Jada’s father, I’m responsible for her well-being, so to keep you on the straight and narrow, a supervised visit will keep you from being tempted to do anything criminal like non-custodial parental abduction.”
Steven balled his hand in a fist, but Gina covered it with her hand. Her gesture caused him to relax. Gina joined the conversation for the first time, but directed her attention to Joy.
“Clearly, you can see…”
“I can’t see this clearly. Why would Steven choose this day of all days to want to be a part of Jada’s life? There are clearly a lot of things I don’t understand, but I yield the decision to my God-fearing husband.”
Did my wife just checkmate this woman? As Gina continued to plead her fiancé’s case, the Lord finally spoke to Christian. “Perhaps you and Gina will join us for Father’s Day service on Sunday. That way you can see Jada.”
When Steven was about to protest the offer, Christian lifted his hand. “I’m trying to understand the reason why a father would abandon his child—I really am—but this is the best I can do. We have plans.” Steven’s contrite look was almost comical. “Shall I give you the church’s address?”
Reluctantly, Steven and Gina agreed.
After doing so, there was nothing left to discuss, so Christian waved for the check. “My treat.” When the server appeared, Christian asked for containers. “My wife and I will take ours to go.”
CHAPTER 6
My husband deserves a standing ovation, Joy thought. Christian had held his ground with Steven. Although for a minute, he had her worried that he was giving in to Steven’s demands without a fight.
It was a good tactical move that he tacked on unflattering terms. Yet, Christian’s sullen mood during the drive home was contrary to that of a man who came out a winner.
Reaching across the seat she rubbed his shoulder. “Babe, what’s wrong?”
Christian squeezed his lips as he gripped the steering wheel. He didn’t look at her right away. “I didn’t feel good about putting stipulations on the man. I’m an advocate for any man who wants to be active in his child’s life.”
He paused. “I wish fathers would make up their minds whether they are going to be hot or cold. To be in and out of a child’s life is lukewarm and half-stepping, which doesn’t score points with God.”
Jesus, this man really has Your heart. Although Joy hurt for Christian’s torment, she wished Steven had stayed out of Jada’s life until she was grown. God, help me to feel the same compassion as my husband. Wrapping her arm around his, she rested her head on his shoulder. “I think something is wrong with me.”
He rubbed his cheek against the top of her head. “Tell me.” His voice was so soft.
“I want to have that perfect love that God wants us to have. I want to please God, but I’d be okay if Jada never saw Steven again. I think about the nights I cried, wanting him to be a part of our lives. When I accepted that he never loved me, I cried and prayed that he at least loved his precious daughter. I know this is bitterness talking, but it’s hard for me to feel sympathy for him…” she inhaled. “It amazes me it takes another woman to tell a man to do right by his child when I was telling him the same thing for years. I feel like he’s trying to stir drama into my happiness.”
Steven. He had actually asked a woman to marry him, but not her. When the jealousy tried to overtake her, God banished the thought away with His reminder that Christian Andersen had been the man He had chosen for her, despite her sinful past of having a child out of wedlock.
Squeezing his arm, Joy sighed and closed her eyes. “I can’t believe I let myself get worked up like that. I’m sorry for my imperfect attitude over Steven’s reappearance.”
“Babe, I wasn’t always saved. I rebelled against my name Christian. I didn’t want to live up to that. I preferred Chris at one time in my past so that I wouldn’t have any condemnation about the way I wanted to act and speak. If you rely on Jesus, He’ll give you victory over those buttons the devil pushes. Right now, Satan is leaning heavily on the “Steven” button, but we can walk perfect in God if we don’t let anger take over.”
“Thank you for understanding me. I love you,” Joy whispered.
“And I love you… We have to strive for Matthew 5:38 and Luke 6:36.” He chuckled.
Opening her eyes, she frowned and glanced at him. “What’s so funny?”
He snickered again. “Oh, nothing. I mean, those scriptures came from nowhere. All I know, baby, is if Steven truly means business about righting the wrong against Jada, then we’ll see evidence of that soon enough.”
“I thought marrying you and Jesus washing my sins away meant leaving the mistakes of my past behind,” she confessed.
“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life—that’s God word from Psalm 23. Goodness and mercy will follow us, this is a test to the strength of our marriage and with our childr
en, but goodness and mercy will follow us.”
She sighed. “Then I guess it’s our job to make sure Steven’s transition into Jada’s life is seamless.”
CHAPTER 7
The following morning while Christian was in the shower, Joy was in the kitchen preparing breakfast. She smiled, her husband made her happy. The previous night before they drifted off to a blissful sleep, Christian made her believe that they could tackle anything as long as they were Christ led.
“Auntie, do you think I’ll see my daddy on Father’s Day?” Bethani had snuck up behind her.
Turning around, Joy studied her niece’s hopeful expression. She had combed her hair into two thick ponytails and had her put on an orange and brown short set to match the brown polish on her cute toes. Her mannerisms were so mature despite the little girl voice, yearning for her father. Hugging her, Joy was careful in her response. “Have you called him?”
“Uh-huh—I mean yes. I’ve wrapped his present along with Mr. Andersen’s because he takes care of me like a daddy.” Twisting her lips, she bowed her head. “But my daddy hasn’t called me back.”
What was it with these deadbeat dads? It was becoming a story of The Tale of Two Dads like that classic she was forced to read in school, The Tale of Two Cities. One man seemingly wanted in and the other evidently wanted out of his obligation as a father.
“I’ll call him for you, sweetie.” Joy smoothed back Bethani’s hair. And give him a piece of my mind. When she realized where her attitude was coming from, Joy rebuked that spirit. She would give Langston the benefit of the doubt—like he changed his number and had forgotten to tell her, or he was out of the country and couldn’t be reached or… She stopped making excuses for her former brother-in-law.
Bethani beamed and twirled around. Christian startled both of them as he stood in the doorway. Joy couldn’t tell if he had overheard their brief exchange, but judging from the grin on his face directed at Bethani, it didn’t matter as the child graced him with a hug before walking out the kitchen.