The next day, Matt arrived at the library at 6:00 a.m. only to find that two of the books he needed were checked out. Though he had anticipated studying in the library until eight, at seven o’clock Matt packed up his books and headed outside.
The brisk wind stung his eyes, and Matt walked quickly, keeping his head down as he approached the aquatics center. He never saw the girl walking across his path until he collided with her.
He couldn’t help staring. The object of his artwork the night before was sprawled on the sidewalk in front of him, and this time he could see her features clearly. Slim and athletic, she pushed her short brown hair behind her ears as she stared up at him. Troubled gray eyes were set in a heart-shaped face that was almost completely free of makeup. Smooth, flawless skin stretched over high cheekbones, and her full, unpainted lips looked perilously close to pouting.
“I am so sorry,” Matt apologized, offering his hand.
She kept her eyes on him even as a blush rose to her cheeks. After a brief hesitation, she took his hand and let him pull her up beside him. She was a full head shorter than his six feet three inches. Matt leaned down again and picked up her bag, handing it to her.
“Thanks.” She slipped the bag over her shoulder, shifting her weight to compensate.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” She glanced behind her. “I guess I wasn’t watching where I was going.”
“No, it was my fault,” Matt insisted. A strong gust of wind made them both catch their breath. “Why don’t you let me buy you breakfast to make it up to you?”
“No, that’s okay.”
“Come on. You have to eat anyway,” Matt persisted, determined to find out more about the dark-haired beauty in front of him.
Looking somewhat reluctant, she fell into step with him.
“By the way, I’m Matt Whitmore.” He watched carefully for the usual glimmer of recognition but saw none.
“Shaye Kendall,” Shaye replied, following him inside to the cafeteria.
“Do you know what you want?” Matt asked, looking up at the breakfast menu.
“A blueberry muffin and some orange juice.” Shaye shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
“Why don’t you get us a table while I order?” Matt suggested, nodding at some empty tables.
“Sure.” Shaye found a booth for two and sat down with her back against the wall, her eyes focused on the door.
A few minutes later, Matt sat down across from her, suddenly noticing that her gray eyes had flecks of blue in them. “Breakfast is served.”
“Thanks.” With an unsteady hand, Shaye took her juice and muffin from the tray.
Matt bit into a piece of bacon, watching Shaye as she broke off a piece of muffin and popped it into her mouth. “So where are you from?”
“Denver,” Shaye supplied.
Matt cocked his head. “Really? I would have guessed Florida or California.” When she simply stared at him, he added, “I didn’t figure someone from Denver would be so tan.”
She smiled slightly and lifted her glass of juice to take a sip. “I lifeguarded all summer. It’s hard not to get a tan when you’re outside all day.”
“I guess so.” Matt leaned back in his seat, studying her openly. “How do you like Virginia so far?”
“It’s taken some getting used to, but I like it. The scenery is gorgeous.” Shaye’s shoulders relaxed, and she kept her eyes on Matt as she continued to eat. “Are you from around here?”
Matt nodded. “I grew up in northern Virginia, not too far from Washington, D.C.”
“What was that like? Growing up so close to the nation’s capital?”
Shaye listened intently as Matt told her about the various sites in and around Washington. Each time he started to ask her about her own childhood, he noticed that she deflected his questions by asking him something else about Virginia. When it was time to go to class, he walked her to her classroom before finally saying good-bye.
* * *
Hours later, when Shaye had finally completed her seemingly never-ending morning classes, she walked across campus in the crisp autumn air. Blending in with the other students, Shaye could almost convince herself that her life was normal. Already her past seemed more like a dream than reality. Though she missed hearing her real name, she was finally used to being called by her new one. Thinking back now, it was almost comical when she first arrived at Royal. Even after weeks of training by the government, she had still failed to respond to her name when she first checked into her dorm. For weeks, she had walked around campus reminding herself constantly what name she was now using.
Heading toward her afternoon practice, she mentally reviewed her homework assignments for that evening. As she crossed the sidewalk leading to the aquatics center, her mind drifted to her run-in with Matt Whitmore that morning. Lying about her past was easier now than it had been when she first arrived in Virginia, but she still felt an ache that came from introducing herself as someone else.
Not for the first time, she pushed the image of Matt Whitmore out of her mind. She knew his type well enough. He was genuinely friendly, someone who would share confidences and expect his friends to do the same. Shaye missed that kind of friendship, one that included loyalty, support, and absolute trust. Still, the fear of getting too comfortable with anyone in Virginia scared her. The more relaxed she became with friends, the more likely she would slip about the details of her real past. Quite simply, she was afraid to take the risk.
Since moving to Virginia, Shaye had deliberately kept her new friendships to a minimum, convinced that her life would be easier if she kept her social life simple. Trying out for the swim team had expanded her circle of acquaintances, but the number of people in Virginia who even knew her by name was still surprisingly low.
Making the swim team had not come as a surprise. The swim team at Royal competed in Division II, one of the conditions Agent Pratt had considered when choosing this school for her relocation. His concern that an opposing coach might recognize her was greatly reduced by putting her where she could compete on a lower level. Still, Shaye was finding it difficult to establish a niche in the team. She had concentrated almost exclusively on breaststroke during high school, and finding a new stroke was proving to be a challenge.
Pratt had made it very clear that Shaye was not to swim breaststroke—ever. She was too fast and her stroke too recognizable for her to swim the one stroke she had pinned her Olympic dreams on. Looking back, Shaye realized that the shoulder injury that had kept her from swimming freestyle at the last national championships had probably saved her from giving up competition altogether. For her to beat the qualifying time in the 200 freestyle had taken a huge amount of effort on both her part and her coaches’ part. Her
disappointment had been keen when a strained rotator cuff kept her from being able to compete in the event. Still, had she been seen at that level of competition, at a place where most of the top coaches in the country might have noticed her, she might never have been permitted to compete again.
Not swimming altogether would have helped Shaye remain one of the nameless faces around campus, but swimming was just too much a part of her and had been from the time she was four years old. She had given up so much to come here. Losing that part of herself had just been more than she could bear. Now she could only hope to cling to that piece of her old life as she tried to assimilate into her new one.
Her coach wanted her to compete in backstroke, but two other girls on the team were faster. Shaye had only lost a handful of races during high school, and all of those losses had come during championship meets, the toughest level of competition. She wasn’t ready to walk into a race knowing that she would lose to her own teammates, especially not on a Division II team.
After only three weeks of practice at Royal, Shaye was leaning toward competing in the butterfly. Though the stroke was more physically demanding than the others, she doubted that anyone on the team was faster than she
was. Throughout practice, Shaye chose to swim butterfly whenever she could, hoping to improve her times and impress her coach.
By the time practice was over, her arms and shoulders ached. She showered and changed into her standard shorts and sweatshirt. After spending five minutes with her hair dryer, she put the hood of her sweatshirt up and went outside.
“Aren’t you freezing?” a voice came from behind her.
Shaye turned around to see Matt leaning against the wall outside. She wondered if he had any idea that just standing there in jeans and a weathered leather jacket probably had half the women on campus drooling. It wasn’t just his looks, though they were stellar. He had a magnetic confidence about him.
“What are you doing here?” Shaye asked, surprised she felt an easy friendship for him.
“Well, I have an extra ticket to Friday night’s football game. I was hoping you might want to go,” Matt told her.
“I don’t know.” Shaye hesitated, her eyes wary.
“Just as friends.” Matt decided honesty would be best. “My roommate’s fiancée keeps trying to set me up.”
A smile played on Shaye’s lips. “You want me to save you?”
“Something like that.” Matt grinned in response, more arrogant than embarrassed.
Her increasing desire for a normal life defeated her fears, and she found herself nodding. “Okay.”
“Now I really owe you. Can I give you a ride home?” Matt asked.
“I just live a couple buildings away.” Shaye motioned toward her dorm.
“I’ll walk with you.” Matt fell into step beside her, not giving Shaye a chance to say no.
As they walked, they eased into casual conversation, and Matt wondered what it would be like to be friends with a girl without all of the expectations of dating. By the time he opened the door to her building, he was looking forward to Friday.
* * *
Before Shaye even reached her room, she was second-guessing herself for saying yes. During the past two months, she had successfully blended into the background of her new school. With the exception of her roommate and some of her neighbors, very few people even knew who she was.
When Shaye reached her room, she found it empty. Dropping her bag on the floor, she sat at her desk and opened the bottom drawer. She pulled out a manila envelope, slipped a photo out of it, and stared. Her own smiling face looked back at her. She had been carefree when that picture was taken, surrounded by the people she loved. On one side of her was her father, on the other was Chase.
She closed her eyes as she thought back to that day, the Arizona high school state swimming championships. The cheering had been deafening when she took the block for the finals of the 100-yard breaststroke. A dozen of her teammates from her high school and her year-round team were perched at the far end of the pool to cheer her on. Chase and her father shouted from the stands.
Her competition had been fierce that day, including two of the top breaststrokers in the country, one of whom had made alternate for the last Olympics. Both had beaten her just months before in the national championships when she had unexpectedly made it to finals the first time. When the buzzer sounded, she was the first in the water—barely. Each kick pushed her closer to the wall, and her hands continued to thrust out over the water as her legs powered her forward. She didn’t look at her competition; she could
feel them.
Determined, she stayed focused on her rhythm, unaware of the cheering until her final strokes. She slammed both hands into the timing pad and looked at her competitors, three of whom were already vertical.
They all looked up at the results. She took a double take, making sure she had read it correctly. She had won by two hundredths of a second.
An assistant coach from Stanford had approached her shortly thereafter with her final scholarship offer. She remembered what she had written in her journal that night—All of my dreams are coming true.
Her journals were now being safeguarded by the FBI, along with her photo albums and everything else that could reveal her previous identity. Only this one photo had slipped passed Agent Pratt.
The emptiness overwhelmed her, and tears filled her eyes. Rewriting her past had not helped the painful memories go away. She still missed her father and Chase desperately. No amount of prayer seemed to help her understand why the Lord had taken everyone she loved away from her. Resigned, she knew all she could do was keep praying.
The prospect of going out with Matt scared her, even if it was “just as friends.” Maybe it was the friendship Matt offered that scared her the most. How could she truly be a friend when she had no choice but to lie? She could almost hear her father asking if Matt was LDS. Though the subject of religion had yet to surface, she assumed he wasn’t. After all, Royal was situated in Virginia, just north of the Bible belt. She doubted many Church members chose to attend this school.
She pulled her cell phone from her jacket pocket and pressed speed dial. The phone only rang once before it was picked up.
“Pratt.”
“It’s Shaye.” She took a deep breath. “I want to know what’s happening with my Church records.”
“I’ve got a few names of agents who are Mormon,” Pratt told her. “I’ll try to get someone on it tomorrow.”
“I thought you were already working on it.” Shaye tried to suppress the desperation in her voice.
“Shaye, I’m already working full-time on this case.” Pratt sighed. “We have to deal directly with the president of your church to have your records changed, so I just figured it would be easier to have someone who knows more about your church take care of it.”
“I want to go to church,” Shaye said, not mentioning that she had been doing exactly that since she arrived. She was quite accomplished at slipping into the family ward during the opening song and leaving after the sacrament was passed.
“We’ve talked about this.” Pratt’s tone turned defensive. “You said yourself that the first thing members in your church do is walk up and find out everything about you. We can’t take the risk of someone sending for your membership records when they don’t exist yet.”
“Can I at least have my Book of Mormon?” Shaye demanded.
“Just wait a little longer. We have too much at stake to take any chances.”
“How much longer?” Shaye fought back the tears forming.
“I’ll make some calls first thing in the morning, okay?” Pratt sighed. “You have to be patient.”
When Shaye hung up, the tears began to fall. How many times had she been told to be patient? Pratt just didn’t understand how much she needed to be part of a ward. He couldn’t know that just meeting the bishop or introducing herself in Relief Society would give her some semblance of a family again.
Shaye moved to the window, staring at the sidewalk below. Couples walked by hand in hand, and a group of girls walked toward the front door of the dorm, laughing. Shaye turned away and stared at the photo she still held.
With a sigh, she slid it back into its hiding place before opening a textbook on her desk. After rereading the same page several times, Shaye finally managed to concentrate on her studies by the time her roommate got home an hour later.
“How did practice go today?” Colleen asked, dropping her books on her bed.
“Okay,” Shaye said, not looking up.
“Here, I brought you a sandwich from the cafeteria. I figured you probably hadn’t eaten.” Colleen set a bag on Shaye’s desk.
“Thanks.” Shaye leaned back and glanced at her watch. “I didn’t realize it was so late.”
“You never do.” Colleen laughed.
Chapter Two
Friday afternoon’s practice was a distance workout, to Shaye’s relief. Swimming long sets allowed her to let her mind wander and her muscles relax. She was surprised to find herself thinking of Matt as she swam. Though she was nervous about the crowds at the game, she was looking forward to spending more time with him.
Guilt washed ove
r her as visions of Matt were replaced with images of Chase. Even though Matt only offered friendship, Shaye wondered how Chase would feel. Would anyone ever take his place in her life? Matt and Chase actually looked a lot alike—both had thick blonde hair and deep blue eyes. Matt was a little taller than Chase had been, and he was broader through the shoulders. Under different circumstances, Shaye could see herself being attracted to him.
Absorbed in her thoughts, Shaye finished her workout twenty minutes early. Rather than getting out of the pool, she swam another set. Today especially, she just needed time to think.
When the rest of her team members started getting out of the pool, Shaye did a quick cooldown and climbed out. She was surprised when her coach stopped her on her way to the locker room, and even more surprised to realize that her coach was well aware of the extra sets she had put in and planned on placing her on the A relay team in the first meet.
Hopeful that things were beginning to fall into place for her here, she showered and dressed for the game in the locker room. Once back at her dorm, she stuffed her ID and some cash into the back pocket of her jeans. She took him at his word that they were going just as friends, and dressed comfortably in her Royal University sweatshirt and the jeans and sneakers she always wore around campus.
Shaye looked out the window, wondering if she would see Matt coming up the walk. A glance at her watch told her he would be there in five more minutes. She hadn’t seen him since he had asked her to the game. Pacing across the room, she organized the homework on her desk. Another glance at her watch. He was only two minutes late. Surely he would have told her if he had changed his mind.
She pressed a hand to her stomach. Had she forgotten to eat again? That must be why she was feeling a little nauseous. She pulled a granola bar from her desk, fingered it, then set it back down. She couldn’t eat. Why wasn’t he there yet? Five minutes late was normal, though, right?
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