Throughout warm-ups before the meet, Shaye struggled with the emptiness and loneliness that threatened to overcome her. No one would cheer for her today, from the stands or on deck. She had been reduced to nothing more than the sum of points she would score for her team. She fought the urge to break free and swim breaststroke to help her center her mind and body.
Shaye swam the same events she had in the first meet, and she won both of her individual events easily. When she lined up with her relay team, she felt like she was standing with the enemy. Vicky had been moved to another relay, leaving Shaye with three seniors, including Denise.
The pressure was on to break the school record. They had worked on their exchanges the last two days in preparation for this race, and they knew their coach’s expectations were high.
Shaye cheered on her teammates even though they were clearly faster than their competition. When Denise dove into the water, Shaye climbed onto the block, adrenaline pumping. As Denise sprinted toward the wall, Shaye rolled back and then forward, anticipating Denise’s finish.
Instead of taking a last short stroke into the wall, Denise glided into the side, but Shaye’s momentum already had her in the pool. She plowed through the water, oblivious to the referee who had just disqualified them.
After finishing the race at full speed, Shaye looked up anxiously at the result board. Their time was over a tenth of a second faster than the school record.
Denise’s voice cut through her excitement. “The time doesn’t matter. You false started.”
Shaye looked up into the disappointed faces of the other three members of her relay team. Her coach was at the end of the pool talking to the referee.
“That’s one way to improve your time,” Heidi told her, annoyance bordering on outright anger in her voice.
“Yeah, great job,” Denise added sarcastically.
Shaye fought back tears as she watched the three girls leave her behind, then she climbed out of the pool, defeated. With tears streaming down her cheeks, Shaye walked through her team area, ignoring the questioning glances from her teammates. Sobs racked her body when she finally escaped into the locker room.
How long Shaye sat in the empty locker room she wasn’t sure. Only when other swimmers started trickling in did she realize that the meet was over. When Denise walked in, Shaye mustered all of her courage and approached her.
“Denise,” she began, her voice hoarse from crying. “I’m sorry about the relay. I’ll talk to Coach and ask her to put someone else in my place.”
Denise’s eyes widened, and she just stared at Shaye.
“Anyway, I really am sorry.” Shaye turned and walked toward the showers as tears threatened again.
After changing into jeans and a sweater, Shaye wrapped a hooded scarf around her wet hair and pulled on her coat. She was barely out of the locker room door when she spotted Doug standing watch. She followed his gaze down the hall to where Matt was waiting.
Emotionally drained, Shaye walked past both of them. As Doug tried to intercept Matt’s advance, she turned on them. “Just leave me alone. Both of you.”
* * *
Doug watched Shaye storm into the night, confident that she was being watched by his men. He glanced over at Matt, who now stood by his side. “She doesn’t like to lose.”
Matt stared at him for a moment, his jaw clenched. “Neither do I,” he said shortly and turned on his heel.
A moment later, Doug exited the building and checked in with the night crew. He learned that Shaye had turned the corner toward the heart of campus before Matt had a chance to follow her.
* * *
She passed through campus to a small, isolated park. She walked by the swings, setting one in motion as she passed, absently wondering if life would ever afford her the opportunity to get married and have children of her own. It was all too easy to picture herself kneeling across the altar from Matt. She could even imagine what their children would look like—with her dark hair and his blue eyes.
She pulled her coat tight around her as she collapsed onto a wooden bench. Her head bowed in prayer, she poured out her heart. Completely alone and isolated, Shaye knew that the only person she had left was her Heavenly Father.
She had been by her own father’s bedside when he had passed from this life after his heart attack, and she had yet to really accept his death before Chase had been taken from her too. Now she was trying to cope with losing yet another person she loved.
Only when Matt had entered her life had she learned how to feel again. The shield around her heart had been penetrated by his kindness and caring. How she would recover from losing him was more than she could fathom.
Chapter Fifteen
Shaye hesitated before slipping into the back of the chapel. The sacrament hymn was just ending as she took a seat near the door. With her head bowed for the prayer, she didn’t notice the person who slipped into the seat next to her.
“Where’s my competition?” Matt whispered, his eyes cold.
Shaye swallowed hard as a deacon approached their row. “This is not the time or the place,” she said under her breath. When the sacrament tray was passed toward her, she refused it, then silently stood and left the meeting.
Matt followed her, grabbing her arm as she reached the foyer. “I need to talk to you, to explain.”
“We can’t always have what we want.” Shaye’s voice was little more than a whisper. “I needed the peace that taking the sacrament would give me. Now even that has been taken away.”
“But you aren’t even LDS,” Matt shot back. “Church headquarters doesn’t have any record of you.”
Panic flickered in Shaye’s eyes before the hurt took over. “Good-bye, Matt.”
Matt watched her go. Instead of getting answers, his questions were multiplying every time he saw her.
* * *
Over the next several days, Shaye didn’t see Matt at all. The only time she saw Doug was at swimming practice, but he kept his distance, always taking up station in the bleachers during her practices. He was also present when she came out of the locker room in case Matt tried to see her again.
As their next meet approached, Shaye was surprised that Coach Terrance refused to take her off the sprint relay. Denise’s rampaging from the week before had faded, and she had yet to comment on their coach’s decision to keep Shaye as the anchor. Shaye could only assume that Denise was pleased Shaye had been pulled out of the 100 butterfly to compete in the 100 freestyle instead.
Shaye kept to herself during the early part of the meet. She won the 200 freestyle, and then stood by and watched Denise take first place in the 100 butterfly.
When Shaye stepped up to the blocks for her last individual event, she was surprised to hear Denise and some of her other teammates cheering for her. Once in the water, Shaye knew she had her work cut out for her as the girl next to her matched her pace stroke for stroke. The cheering grew louder as they swam toward the finish.
Shaye got caught between strokes as she reached the wall, and her opponent barely out-touched her. She tried to swallow her frustration, and reached across the lane rope to congratulate the winner.
To Shaye’s surprise, Denise and Vicky were standing behind the block when she climbed out of the pool.
“Good race, Shaye,” Vicky told her, handing her a towel.
Shaye shrugged, unable to hide her disappointment.
“Shake it off,” Denise insisted with an encouraging smile. “We need to stay focused if we want to own that school record.”
“You’re right.” Shaye nodded in agreement, surprised by Denise’s support.
Coach Terrance was close by when they lined up for their next race. For the first time this season, they were up against a formidable opponent.
Shaye and Denise cheered side by side as their first two swimmers fought to keep up with the other team. Denise entered the water right after the other team, and by the end of her first lap, she had edged out a slight lead. This time when she ca
me into the wall, Shaye timed her own start perfectly.
With her teammates cheering her on from both sides of the pool, Shaye sprinted onward, focusing only on the lane in front of her. She slammed into the wall hard as she finished, and the heel of her hand throbbed from the impact. She didn’t even notice that the other team’s relay was a full body length behind her. Instead, when she finished, she and her team stared up at the results board. Cheers erupted as their time was posted. They had crushed the previous record.
Shaye was barely out of the pool when she was embraced by the rest of her team. They all chattered excitedly, congratulating one another. When they finally left the starting area, Denise slung her arm around Shaye’s shoulder.
“You did good, kid.”
“Thanks.” Shaye thought she was going to fall over from shock.
“You know, I’ve never been very good at accepting blame when I mess up,” Denise told her quietly. “But I couldn’t believe it when you apologized after the last meet when everyone knew it was my fault.”
Shaye opened her mouth to disagree, but Denise just shook her head. They both knew that most false starts could be blamed on the swimmer in the water.
“Anyway, I’m glad you stuck with us. Together, we’re going to be tough to beat this year.”
Shaye didn’t have time to respond before the rest of their team rushed over to congratulate them. When they finally sat down to watch the rest of the meet, Shaye glanced up into the stands. Her heart ached as she realized that she didn’t have anyone to celebrate this latest victory with.
* * *
Doug pushed open the curtains to the window of his hotel room as soon as he walked in the door. Two members of his team had taken over surveillance for the night now that Shaye was safely in her room.
He looked out at the deserted street below, watching, waiting. Something wasn’t quite right, and it irritated him that he had yet to put his finger on what it was. Sure, he had succeeded in pushing Matt Whitmore all the way out of the picture. He had considered that task to be complete when Matt missed Shaye’s swim meet earlier that evening.
Still, something was causing the hair to stand up on the back of his neck. Doug had learned early in his career to pay attention to his instincts, or whatever it was that caused him to question things that otherwise appeared normal. More than once, the feeling that something wasn’t right had prompted him to make certain choices, choices that had possibly saved his life.
Moving to the table in the corner of the room, he flipped open his laptop. With a few practiced keystrokes, he pulled up his notes on the smuggling ring that Shaye was hiding from. Much of the information duplicated the data in Shaye Kendall a.k.a. Christal Jones’s file.
It still surprised him that someone like Shaye had ended up needing his help. Most people in the Witness Protection Program were there because they were criminals themselves or because they had the misfortune of finding themselves working for criminals. Shaye didn’t fall into either category. Never before had Doug seen someone so uninvolved in crime end up in such a situation.
Though the existence of the drug-running operation was well-known to the DEA, no names had been associated with the organization until Christal Jones had mentioned Jimmy Malloy and had then gone on to identify her boyfriend’s killers. In the past several months, new information had been hard to come by. Even the realization that the smuggling ring extended through almost every section in the country had taken weeks to uncover.
Attempts had been made to insert agents into several locations known to be involved, yet something always seemed to go wrong. Every time a new lead showed up, it would quickly be shut down. Witnesses would disappear, information would be corrupted or destroyed. The more Doug studied the data, the more he understood why Henry Pratt had called him in to run the surveillance team. It was becoming more and more apparent that they had someone on the inside. Somehow, this huge crime business had evolved to include corrupt government officials.
Clearly Pratt must have suspected such a problem when he first took over the case or he would have followed standard protocol and simply handed Shaye over to the U.S. Marshals. Yet too many times, information about the investigation had leaked—information only available to certain people within the Justice Department. Using Shaye as bait was risky, but Doug knew that by doing so, Pratt was hoping to come one step closer to finding the mole protecting these criminals.
Doug stood and paced back to the window. He stared out into the night, waiting.
* * *
Colleen had guessed that Shaye and Matt had broken up. Shaye was spared from trying to justify the breakup since Colleen thought Matt had ended the relationship. As the end of the semester grew near, Shaye rarely had their room to herself.
Tears still came often when she was in bed each night, and she wondered if her misery would ever end. More of a hermit than she had been before, Shaye was barely aware of the surveillance team’s presence. Except for the constant, nagging feeling that she was being followed, she managed to ignore the extra attention they were giving her. Doug rarely had reason to talk to her, especially since Matt had not made any attempt to see her again.
Nearly two weeks after Shaye and Matt’s breakup, Colleen decided to push Shaye out of her rut. On Saturday after lunch, Colleen rushed into their dorm room carrying two tickets to the football game.
“Come with me to the game today. It will be fun,” Colleen encouraged her friend.
“I should study,” Shaye told her, touched at her roommate’s apparent concern.
“You need a break,” Colleen insisted. She opened Shaye’s closet and started pulling out clothes. “You’ve been way too depressed lately, and you definitely need a change of scenery. Here.” Colleen tossed a pair of jeans, a turtleneck, and a sweatshirt on Shaye’s bed. “I’ll let you choose your own shoes and socks.”
“Gee, thanks,” Shaye laughed at her roommate’s insistence. Hoping to gain some of Colleen’s enthusiasm, she changed her clothes and got ready for the game.
Colleen dressed, and an hour later they were headed for the stadium. Instinctively, Shaye glanced around at the other students on campus, looking for Matt. She was both relieved and disappointed that she didn’t see him.
Their seats were in the end zone, a good distance from where she had sat with Matt weeks earlier. Until the teams came running out onto the field, Shaye hadn’t realized that the opposing team was the University of Virginia. She immediately spotted Chelsey Brandenburg among the competition’s cheerleaders.
“Great,” Shaye muttered to herself, wondering if Matt was at the game also.
Throughout the first half, Shaye found herself watching the UVA cheerleaders more than she watched the game being played on the field. As halftime approached, Colleen went to get something from the snack bar. She was barely out of her seat when someone sat down next to Shaye.
“Enjoying the game?” Doug asked, leaning back in Colleen’s seat as though it were his own.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Shaye said sullenly.
“Which one is the old girlfriend?” Doug asked, following Shaye’s stare to UVA’s cheerleaders.
“Is there anything you don’t know about my former love life?”
“Just doing my job,” Doug commented.
“I hope there’s more to your job than making sure I don’t see Matt.” Shaye watched as the band marched out onto the field.
“Sure there is. This is just the most enjoyable part.”
“I’m glad you find it so amusing,” Shaye grumbled. “I don’t even know if Matt is here, and if he is, I’m sure he has a much better seat.”
“Yeah. He’s sitting right down on the forty-yard line,” Doug admitted. “I gather he hasn’t tried to see you since the incident after your meet last week.”
Shaye shook her head, neglecting to tell him about seeing Matt at church. She didn’t want to give him a reason to extend their surveillance. “You were very convincing.”
&
nbsp; When Doug saw Colleen approaching, he stood up. “I’ll call you later. Maybe we can grab a bite to eat together.”
“I’ll hold my breath,” Shaye told him sarcastically.
Doug edged his way back to the aisle, passing Colleen, who gave him a curious glance. Doug simply smiled at her and walked toward the concessions area.
“Who was that?” Colleen asked, handing Shaye a soda. “He was gorgeous.”
“Just a guy.” Shaye sipped her soda, keeping her eyes on the halftime activities.
“Like I said, it’s always the quiet ones.” Colleen shook her head in disbelief.
Shaye watched the rest of the game without any real interest. Royal’s team played rather well, but they were no match for the University of Virginia’s team. She tried scanning the seats on the forty-yard lines, but she was unable to spot Matt in the sea of blue and gold.
Once the game was a certain loss, Shaye suggested that they leave early, but Colleen wouldn’t hear of it. When the final whistle blew, they found themselves unable to move through the mass of people around them.
“We might as well sit here for a few minutes and let the crowds die down,” Colleen said.
Shaye nodded in agreement, happy to avoid the crowds. She leaned back in her seat, watching UVA celebrating their win. A few minutes later when they got up to leave, Shaye caught a glimpse of Chelsey standing next to the forty-yard line. There, leaning over the railing next to her, was Matt.
Colleen saw Matt also. She put a comforting arm around Shaye and patted her on the back. “Stop thinking about him. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.”
Tears welled up in Shaye’s eyes, and she brushed them away with the back of her hand. Fighting her emotions, she made her way through the crowd with Colleen right behind her.
“I don’t suppose you want to go out for pizza now?” Colleen prodded as they finally exited the stadium.
Shaye shook her head. “You can go ahead. I’ll be fine.”
“No, you won’t,” Colleen insisted. “You can’t keep hiding from him, you know.”
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