He looked at Melanie and mouthed a silent thank-you before scooping Jessie up in his arms and tickling her.
“You’ve gone and turned into a gorgeous grown-up lady on me,” he said. “Where’s my little girl?” He glanced at Melanie and asked with feigned ferocity. “What have you done with her?”
“No little girls here,” Melanie teased. “Right, Jessie?”
“Just me, Daddy. But this is for when I’m at Melanie’s,” she recited dutifully, then gazed at him hopefully. “Can we come here all the time?”
Mike looked at Melanie and came to the conclusion he should have reached way before this. “That’s something Melanie and I will have to discuss one of these days.”
“Ask her now,” Jessie prodded.
“No,” he said firmly. “Now we have to eat pizza before it gets cold.”
“But—”
“No arguments,” he said firmly. “Or I’ll have to call Lyssa and tell her you won’t be able to have a sleepover at her house tomorrow night, after all.”
Jessie looked awestruck. “I can spend the whole night at Lyssa’s?”
“You can,” he said, glad that Jeff had backed him into that particular corner. It was obviously something Jessie had wanted and had never dreamed he would allow.
“How come?” she asked.
“I think you’re old enough now, don’t you?”
She bobbed her head enthusiastically, but then worry creased her brow. “Won’t you be lonely, Daddy?”
Mike met Melanie’s gaze and held it until her cheeks turned pink. “I don’t think so,” he said quietly.
“I got an idea,” Jessie said excitedly. “Why don’t you have a sleepover with Melanie?”
Mike bit back a groan. Out of the mouths of babes. “Don’t worry about me,” he told Jessie. “I can make my own plans for the evening.”
“But—”
He gave her a warning look. “Jessie!”
She sighed. “I just want Melanie to be my mommy,” she said wearily. “I wish you’d hurry up and ask her.”
Mike glanced at Melanie and saw the bright-red patches on her cheeks and something that looked like panic in her eyes. She definitely wasn’t ready to hear that he was beginning to think a lot like his daughter. He was ready to give Jessie the new mommy she’d been dreaming of.
She should never have agreed to go out with Mike tonight, Melanie thought, her pulse scrambling frantically and her stomach knotting. She was not ready to have the kind of discussion he clearly had in mind, especially when she was almost a hundred percent certain that his motives had nothing to do with love and everything to do with Jessie. He was going to dangle everything she’d ever wanted in front of her—a home, a family—and she was going to say no because he wasn’t offering the most important thing of all, his love.
But maybe she was getting ahead of herself. Besides, it would be cowardly to back out. Maybe she’d gotten the signals all wrong anyway. Maybe he was really interested in nothing more than an entire evening for just the two of them. Maybe that glint in his eye had been about sex, not marriage.
She had almost convinced herself that it was as simple as that when he announced they were going to spend the evening at his place.
“I’ve got chicken slow-roasting in the oven,” he told her, his gaze locked with hers. “I hope that’s okay.”
“It sounds perfect,” she answered honestly. “I hope it’s roasting very slowly.”
He grinned. “I can always turn the heat down when we get there.”
“And I can turn it up,” she countered, enjoying the flare of desire in his eyes and relieved that there’d been no hints about serious talk for the evening’s agenda.
They made the drive to his house in silence, but rather than feeling uncomfortable, Melanie was filled with anticipation that seemed to grow with each mile that passed. She’d missed being close to Mike, feeling his touch.
“Is Jessie settled for the night at Lyssa’s?” she asked eventually.
“I hope so,” he said, suddenly looking worried. “This is a big step for her.”
“And for you,” Melanie guessed.
He shook his head. “I know it’s ridiculous, but she’s been my responsibility for so long, it’s hard to stop worrying about her.”
“From what I hear about parents and kids, you’ll never stop worrying about her,” Melanie told him. “But you will learn to cope with it and keep it in perspective.” She grinned. “I’ll do my best to provide a distraction tonight.”
“I don’t think there’s any question that you’ll do an excellent job,” he said, putting his hands on her waist and lifting her from the truck.
He looked into her eyes, then slowly lowered his mouth to take hers in a long, greedy kiss.
Melanie felt as if she were floating, which she was, she realized eventually when she could think straight again. Mike was still holding her off the ground, her body molded to his.
“Maybe you ought to put me down,” she suggested lightly.
“I don’t want to.”
“We’ll get inside faster if you do.”
He laughed. “You do know how to create a powerful incentive, don’t you? But I don’t have to put you down to get inside.”
Before she realized his intention, he’d put an arm under her knees and rearranged her against his chest. He set off toward the house in long, determined strides.
“Are you suddenly in a hurry?”
“Darlin’, I’ve been in a hurry for this since the last time we made love.”
She studied him curiously. “Why haven’t you done anything about it?”
“Too many complications.”
“And now?”
“I think we’re getting them untangled.”
Melanie wished she were half as sure of that as he seemed to be. But before she could express her concerns, they were inside, in his room and Mike was lowering her to his bed. The heat in his eyes was enough to melt away whatever crazy ideas she’d had about talking.
“Do you know how incredible it is that we have the whole night ahead of us?” he murmured. “I want to take this slow. I want to get to know every inch of your body. I want to watch you come apart in my arms time and again.”
Melanie trembled at his words, at the gentle touch of his hands as he worked the buttons on her blouse until they were free and he could shove the material away. Then he skimmed his fingers over her lace-covered breasts until the peaks were tight, aching buds.
“You are so amazing,” he whispered, his voice husky. “Amazing.”
Melanie tried to find the words to respond, but her breath caught in her throat when he covered her breast with his mouth and sucked. Her hips rose off the bed in response to that incredible sensation.
“Forget slow,” she said in a choked voice, writhing beneath him. “Slow’s for next time or the time after that. I want you now, Mike. Please.”
A smile spread across his face. “Well, when you ask so sweetly, how can I possibly say no?”
He stripped away her panties, pushed down his own pants and entered her in one hard thrust that filled her and took the last of her breath away.
Then he began to move, teasing her, tormenting her until the sensations were too much, too raw and needy. Her body felt as if it were on fire, as if it were one exquisite nerve that was wound so tightly it was destined to snap with one more stroke, one more caress, one more flick of his tongue across her feverish skin.
In the end that was exactly what sent her flying over the edge, his tongue on her nipple sending a shock wave through her that reached her toes. She screamed, but he caught the sound by covering her mouth with his own.
And as their breath mingled and their bodies came apart in perfect harmony, Melanie was filled with a joy so pure it uncomplicated everything. There was only this man, this moment and the waves of love washing through her.
It seemed like an eternity before Mike could move again. Melanie had worn him out in the most pleasurable
way possible. He didn’t care if he never budged from his bed again.
He felt an elbow prod his ribs and moaned. “Again?”
She laughed. “No, you idiot. Even I know my limits. What I’m after is food. That chicken ought to be way past done by now.”
“It’s probably so dried out, it’s chicken jerky,” he said.
“I’m not sure I care at this point.”
He grinned at her. “You really are hungry, aren’t you?”
“Starving. Mind-boggling sex will do that.”
“Ah, flattery. You definitely know how to motivate a man,” he said, reaching for her.
“I’m not trying to motivate you to make love again,” she said impatiently, giving him a gentle shove. “I’m trying to get you out of this bed and into the kitchen.”
“Then you used the wrong tactic.”
She eyed him curiously. “What will work?”
“Mention the triple-threat chocolate cake that Pam sent over for us.”
“Oh, my God!” Melanie said, scrambling past him to grab his shirt from the floor.
Mike watched her unabashed eagerness and laughed. “Since you’re up, you can bring a tray in here.”
“Dream on. That cake is mine,” she said as she bolted from the room.
Laughing, Mike dragged on his pants and followed. By the time he reached the kitchen, she had her first forkful of cake.
“For me?” he inquired.
“I don’t think so,” she said, biting into it, then groaning with obvious ecstasy.
“Careful, or I’m going to think you like that better than sex,” he scolded.
“It’s a toss-up,” she retorted.
“You’re going to spoil dinner.”
“I don’t think so. I took a look at that chicken. It’s a goner.”
“Then I’ll nuke a frozen homemade lasagna. How does that sound?”
“Great, but I’m not waiting for it,” she said, pulling a chair out from the table and sitting down. His shirt rode so far up her thighs, Mike could hardly think straight. He simply stood and stared. She chuckled. “The lasagna?”
“What?”
“In the freezer,” she prodded.
He sighed and turned to the refrigerator. A few minutes later, the meal—one of many prepared and provided by Pam—was heating. He put the salad he’d tossed earlier on the table, then took the fork and cake away from Melanie. She didn’t protest. She just closed her eyes and sighed with pure bliss.
“I really need that recipe. I have to pass it along to Maggie, so she can use it in the magazine. She’ll be worshiped by women everywhere as a chocolate goddess.”
Mike chuckled. “Is that a goal of your sister’s?”
“Not really, but a little adoration is always good for the soul.”
“Do you want to be adored?”
“Not by hordes and hordes of people,” she said thoughtfully. “Maybe by one person.”
Mike wondered if now was the time to ask the question that had been spinning around in his head ever since he’d seen her with Jessie yesterday afternoon. It was as good a time as any, he finally concluded, searching for the right words.
“Jessie obviously adores you,” he began.
Her head shot up and her gaze met his. “She’s a great kid,” she said, an unmistakable note of caution in her voice.
Mike plunged ahead. “I’m glad you can see past the problems and recognize that. Does that mean you’d consider something a little more permanent?”
Alarm flared in her eyes. “Such as?” she asked, her tone wary.
“Don’t look so terrified. I’m not going to ask if you’d like to be her nanny,” he said. “I was thinking more along the lines of her mom. Would you consider marrying us?”
She studied him for what seemed like an eternity. “Because it’s what Jessie wants?” she asked eventually.
“No, because it’s what I want, because I think you’d be happy here. I think I could make you happy here.”
“You haven’t said anything about love.”
Mike hesitated. He knew women wanted the pretty words, but he didn’t believe in love, even now. It hadn’t done anything but cause misery in his life. His continued silence apparently spoke volumes, because Melanie shook her head and stood up.
“I need to go,” she said, looking unbearably sad.
“Now?” he asked incredulously. “You want to leave now? Why?”
“Because this is never going to work. I see that now.”
“What’s not going to work? We’ve been making love for hours. I just asked you to marry me,” he all but shouted.
“For Jessie,” she reminded him. “Not for you or even for me. That’s not good enough. I want more, Mike. I want it all. I didn’t think I did. When I came here, I was just like you. I was sure love didn’t exist, not the way it’s portrayed in novels. Now I have this tiny glimmer of what it can be like, and I’m starting to believe.”
He wished he shared her conviction. “I can’t give you what you want,” he said, his heart heavy.
But even as he said the words, even as he saw her slipping away, he saw what she’d seen…a future that was bright because they were together. He wanted to grab it. He wanted desperately to believe that everything was possible.
But Melanie was already running from the room, leaving him behind. It wasn’t the first time a woman had left him, but this time it hurt even more.
For the first time ever, he knew the real meaning of despair and loneliness.
15
Mike knew he had to go over to Pam’s to pick up Jessie, but he was dreading it. He knew there would be a thousand questions on the tip of her tongue, questions he flatly refused to answer. He wasn’t sure he could bear to see the sympathy that was bound to fill her eyes when she figured out that Melanie had turned his proposal down flat.
Or maybe what really worried him was the possibility that she would laugh herself silly and call him an idiot when she realized he’d done it all for Jessie and offered nothing of himself to Melanie. He still wasn’t sure what had kept him from laying his heart on the line. Fear, more than likely. It was the ever-present fear that had kept him from reaching out to anyone for a long time now.
Oddly, keeping the proposal all about Jessie didn’t seem to be making the sting of Melanie’s rejection one bit easier to take. That rejection was all about him and his inadequacies, just as Linda’s abandonment had been. He wasn’t enough for either one of them.
Even as he thought that, though, he knew how ridiculous it was. Linda hadn’t left because he was inadequate. She’d left because the drugs were powerful and addictive. Period. As for Melanie, hadn’t she really said that he was enough for her? He was the one who’d been unwilling to offer his heart.
Walking up to the Claybornes’ front door, he drew in a deep breath and braced himself. Thankfully, it was Jeff who answered the door.
“You look exhausted. I’ll take that as a good sign,” Jeff said, putting a typical male spin on things.
“You shouldn’t,” Mike growled. “Where’s Jessie?”
Jeff’s gaze narrowed speculatively. “She’s out back with Lyssa. They’re swimming. It’s a gorgeous day, in case you haven’t noticed. I can loan you a bathing suit if you’d like to join us. Pam and I are about to have breakfast out there. There’s more than enough for you, too.”
“No, thanks,” he said curtly. “I’ll just find Jessie and get out of your hair. I’m sure you’ve had enough of her by now.”
“Actually she’s been a little angel,” Jeff said, continuing to study him with a frown. “You’re the one I’m worried about. What’s up with the attitude? Didn’t things go well with Melanie?”
Mike scowled right back at him. “Look, you did the sensitive thing once. That’s enough. You’re not that great at it.”
They’d known each other long enough that Jeff didn’t take offense. He merely shook his head. “Now I really am worried. Should I get Pam?”
�
��God, no!” Mike said. “Please be a pal—get Jessie and don’t let on that anything’s wrong.”
“One look at your face will be all it takes for Pam to see that something’s very wrong,” Jeff warned. “Maybe you should go away and work things out with Melanie, then come back later.”
“Not going to happen,” Mike said. “Will you get Jessie or do I have to do it?”
Jeff looked as if he might poke and prod some more, but he finally shook his head. “Whatever you want, man.”
Mike heard Jessie’s screams of protest a minute later and sighed. He should have known it would be impossible to do this the easy way.
Before he could take a step in the direction of the backyard, Pam came through the house like a whirlwind.
“Why are you insisting on dragging Jessie off when she’s having such a good time?” she demanded. “And what’s with standing out here on the front stoop instead of coming around back and getting her yourself?”
Mike ignored the second question, because he figured Pam wouldn’t like hearing that he’d been avoiding her. “I came to get my daughter because it’s time for her to go home,” he said tightly.
Pam studied him as intently as Jeff had. “Not when you’re in such an obviously lousy mood,” she said emphatically. “I’ll go tell Jessie she can stay, then you and I are talking.”
“No, we’re not,” Mike said just as emphatically. He relented on one point but not the other. “Jessie can stay, but you and I are definitely not talking.”
Pam scowled at him. “Stay here,” she ordered, then went to give Jessie the good news.
Mike stared after her, muttered a curse and turned on his heel. Jessie was in good hands, and Pam was right about one thing. He was in a lousy mood. He needed to do something physical outdoors and work off some of his frustration.
Instinctively he headed for Melanie’s, just as he had on so many other Saturday mornings lately. He didn’t have to see her. Hell, he didn’t want to see her. He could rip out a few more weeds, check on the progress of the plants he’d put in last week, spread around a little fertilizer, then hightail it out of there. With any luck Melanie wouldn’t even be home.
Home at Rose Cottage Page 18