by P. S. Power
At noon exactly, Brian traded places with Roy, as Gwen hit the second mic station, which was back in the corner of the room, behind him. It was a bit tight, so she had to squeeze by the older man, touching him in ways that probably meant they were dating, given where they were. That, or someone was going to get a beating as soon as he got outside. It was just the space though, not the man doing anything wrong. She was the one that was rubbing up on him after all.
“Ladies and gentlemen! This is the Gwen Farris Hour! With your hostess, Gwen! This is your chance to find out what people from other worlds might be like, what they think and if you aren’t careful what they think of you! Settle in and get ready, since this is going to be something rather different.” Brian actually sounded happy. More like he had in the outer room, than she’d ever heard him doing before. Happy to be there, instead of ready to rip someone a new bodily orifice.
Gwen hit the tab and leaned in, trying to match his energy.
“Thanks Brian! Today, our very first program, will be a combination of me trying to guilt trip you all into supporting the troops and you asking me questions that would make a sailor blush. I saw the list, there are some doozies on it! If you’re of delicate constitution, or too young, clear the room now! We’ll chat for about half a minute first, so you can do that.”
Brian went a bit wide eyed.
“That’s not a joke, friends. It’s a true warning and should be considered. Now, Miss Farris, why not tell us about some of those programs you mentioned?”
She nodded and glanced at her notes.
“Ooooh. That’s a great use of our time. Okay everyone, get something to write with… I have some real announcements here.” It was probably a bit boring really, but she acted like it was a huge deal. As if the Students Service was amazing and new. Also the new airship program. There would be other things coming as well, but that was all she really had new data on that week.
After two minutes of this, Brian smiled at her and leaned toward his silver microphone.
“All right, you alien, are you ready for your question time?”
“Bring it, Mr. Weathers. I’ll answer them all as honestly as possible.”
“Right. Up first, what exactly were you thinking the other day, invading Europa on your own like you did? I’d say it was an act of war, but it’s too late for that one.” His tone had changed, becoming a lot darker and nearly mean. Even as his eyes shone with humor.
“I was thinking that I’m a moron. It was a foolish thing to do. Part of how I’m built though. Also… I was thinking that I need to atone for what Katherine did. Betraying us all? I should have stopped her somehow, but… I just couldn’t. No matter how hard I tried. I’m probably a bit suicidal, to be honest on the topic. Not… slash my own wrists wants to die, but definitely pushing into areas I shouldn’t, trying to make up for things. Not that I really ever can.”
Brian blinked and didn’t speak for a moment.
Then he took a deep breath. There was a slight shudder to it that didn’t seem to be faked up for the audience.
“You did say you were going to be honest! That’s a bit troubling, to be perfectly candid in return. You have to promise not to let yourself come to harm, Miss Farris. Not for that reason. You have our backing, I assure you.”
She nodded, not able to believe it.
“I know. It’s just so hard for me to understand, that’s all. So, next question?”
“Indeed. Let me see. Something lighter… What do you miss most from your own world?”
She knew that one off the top of her head.
“My computer. Which means nothing to you. It’s a box that has a screen on it, which let me… Do everything. Look up facts, listen to music, watch… Shows. Plays sort of? Except they show on the screen. Like a window, that lets you see whatever it wants? I made a living designing web-sites. Which, again, means nothing to any of you, of course. But that is the thing I miss the most. It was a big part of my world for a long time.”
Brian didn’t lose speed this time, talking quickly, like he wanted to rush her into the hard answers so she’d forget to lie.
“Interesting. How about this one. I have to admit I’ve heard it suggested before. Were you, perhaps, a man, in your world?”
Gwen had heard it before, herself.
“Nope. All girl. I was crippled though. Hugely distorted. That meant a lot of people attacked me. Just in the streets? So I had to fight a lot in order to survive. I know that women here don’t fight a lot. There either. I didn’t have a choice. Not if I wanted to survive. I didn’t always. Want to, I mean.”
It was the truth. Her days had been all about being distracted and busy enough that she didn’t feel like just taking her own life.
The following question was incredibly different, though expected.
“So… How do you feel about the parents of the woman that stole your life from you? Katherine Vernor didn’t just take your life over, she murdered you. Then she stole your life again, for years. Three of them. That alone should have her family in ruins. There have been hints that they’ve been putting pressures on you, to prevent that from happening.” He sounded incredibly serious. Then, she’d mentioned that idea the day before herself, which made it a great thing to get at. Bluntly too, which was brilliant, if you wanted to put a lie to rest.
“Oh, sure. They do that all the time. Put pressure on me?”
Brian seemed shocked, his eyebrows going up a lot suddenly.
“They do?”
“Yeah. Ethyl is doting and kind. I mean all the time. Constantly. Like the mother I should have had, if I were incredibly lucky. That’s an incredible amount of pressure. Plus, Robert has offered to give me their fortune. Not just once or twice either. They had bags packed to go live under a bridge at one time. Can you imagine that? I’m not joking here…” She cleared her throat, which probably sounded wonderful to the people at home, she realized. “That would be insane. Vernor Industries needs to be strong right now. Shipping is one of the most important things during a time of war. That’s why I’m working on one of the ships right now. As a loader. It’s why I’m going to be having kids go and work on them, too. Because we need to keep goods moving and the economy flowing.” She waited, Brian signaling to her for some reason.
“All right, I have one for that! If they aren’t using you for slave labor, why are you doing physical work? You should be doing something more intellectual, shouldn’t you? Schooling, if you aren’t marrying?”
She grinned.
“Heh. I start classes in a few weeks. At Western University? I can teletransport, so traveling around isn’t that hard for me.”
“Really… I’d heard about that part. I saw you do it, yesterday, in fact. How did you learn that? Some special technique from your old world?”
The words caught her for a moment. Not her real world. He hadn’t asked about her home. It was put in a way that made it seem like this, the here and now, was her place to be. That he, at the very least, accepted that fully.
“Oh, no… We used the Westmorland Protocols. The old ones? Trust me, it really is torture. It works… But I can’t recommend it, if you have another option. Though, if you’re willing, send a note to the station and I’ll set up some advanced training for you. I mean that, by the way. We’re at war. That means people need to be willing to risk their comfort a little bit. Especially those that have the talent for it.”
She was under selling that part of things, but she doubted that anyone would be getting with her on that one.
There was no comment from her co-host.
“How about this; so, what about the rumors that you… enjoy women?”
“Delicately put! Okay, I like men. I have a boyfriend, it’s new, so you know, leave him alone everyone.” She tried to sound like she was teasing at least.
“Hmm? Does he have a name?” The lilt to his voice was questing. Seeking to find out the thing that Gwen was obviously trying to hide. At least he thought that was the case.
Brian chuckled politely at any rate.
“I see you aren’t going to hide anything at all. Good thing we have all these questions for you, then. Here’s one. How do you feel about the street solicitation problem?”
That one was new to her.
“I don’t… Like food carts?” She honestly didn’t know that one at all.
Brian shook his head.
“Erm, not that. Women and girls that sell sexual favors in public? It’s rather a problem in some areas. Certainly we have houses for that, but these freelancers are undercutting the officially allowed and contracted workers.”
Gwen nodded, to show she understood.
“I really don’t know the issue well enough to comment on it. In my world prostitution is almost always illegal. You have places for it here? I can’t… Nope. I have nothing on that one. I’m not trying to dodge it. I just don’t know enough to really say much of anything about it.”
If that was too stupid sounding she didn’t know. It was honest, so hopefully that would help.
The next questions were all kind of boring. She got to describe her world in detail for the masses however. Then covered her favorite color as well as what kinds of foods she liked. Then, surprising her, Brian pointed at the desk in front of him, which she didn’t get at all. There was a light suddenly glowing, which clearly meant something.
“Ah, we have a live caller. Should we entertain them, Miss Farris?”
“Sure? Just as long as they don’t start screaming obscenities over the airwaves.”
Brian did something and leaned in again. He rocked back and forth a lot as he worked. Bringing his mouth closer and further away as they spoke. She did it a little, and tried for more, since now that she thought about it, all the media people had done that while they spoke. That meant she probably needed to copy it for some technical reason that she just didn’t get yet.
She thought about that while Brian set up the caller.
“Welcome! You’re on live with Gwen Farris and Brian Weathers. Do you have a question today?”
The voice on the other side was rather matronly sounding. A little familiar as well. Not that Gwen got it. Not even after the man spoke for a bit.
“Ah, thank you! I was wondering if you have any thoughts on the Westmorland issue now? You were involved in the scandal, some years ago, but were gone when the corrections were made. Are you still working on aiding them?”
Gwen took a breath then and made a face.
“Eehh. I can’t claim that I’m doing that much for each person directly. I do work with them and visit a lot. I have a position with the Special Service. I don’t know if that’s a known thing? I’m just on my half year break now. It’s far too long, but apparently some people have to be coaxed to actually do the hard work. Not that it really is. All that difficult, I mean? You have to be devoted to the task, certainly. It isn’t painful or anything like that. No more than most cushy jobs.” She meant it, but Brian scoffed at her.
“It’s one of the hardest positions we have, outside of battlefield work. I think you’re trying to recruit now.”
She tilted her head. Then made a considering face. It wasn’t the worst idea in the world.
“Come and join the Special Service! We have the best armor, and weapons! Join today and get a free crystal pack capable of running a small clock. Don’t wait, act now. Positions are running out fast. Especially for women… Actually that one is real enough. If you’re high magic and want to try it, you really should. Especially you girls. It’s hard, but rewarding.” She wasn’t actually trying to get people to do anything, so changed the subject, chatting with the next caller, a man this time.
That he sounded so familiar annoyed her a bit, but he didn’t give a name. That was hardly fair, but she got the idea. She was supposed to be the one on the griddle that day. It was what the show was about.
After most of the episode, Brian had to go over some commercials. Half of which were passed over to her directly. They were literally just paragraph long sheets. At least the other man went first, letting her read over the things. It was tempting to let herself make a hash of them, but real people had actually paid money for her to sit there and sell their goods and services. So Gwen wanted to do a good job.
That meant going off script a little bit, though she did it quickly, trying to sound very genuine.
“Mmmm. You know what I love? Candy. That’s right. One of the best things in this world is your confectionary arts. Right here in town we have one of the best shops, too. Carmichaels’. Located over on Fourth and Elm. I’m serious. If you don’t go and get something from them right now, you’re doing yourself a disservice. Their special this week is maple fudge… Get down there fast, or I might just buy them out before you can get any. I’m not kidding either. I think that I’m going right after we get off the air today. I can’t sing their jingle, not without hurting your ears, but that shouldn’t matter to you. What should? Candy. Yeah. That’s the stuff.”
Brian looked like he was going to laugh at her, but nobly held it in. She did notice that he leaned forward to turn his microphone off as he fought for control of himself.
“On a more serious note, have you ever thought about what you’re going to do when you pass away? Johansen’s Funerary Parlor knows what to do. Their friendly staff understands what it’s like to lose a friend or relative and they’re there to help you. No one wants to think about what that’s going to mean for the people around them, but making a point to set things up now will help your loved ones when they need it most. In these hard and troubled times, it pays to be prepared. That’s a theme that I’m going to be hitting over the next weeks and months, personally. This is part of making those preparations. Even if you and I fall, or fail, we owe it to those around us to make that as easy as possible on those left behind.”
There was dead silence for a moment, then Brian cleared his throat. Almost comically. He triggered his mic again and leaned forward.
“That’s very good advice. Thank you Miss Farris. Remember folks, she’ll be back next week. Both to answer your disturbing questions and speak about the topics of the day. Fifth day at noon. Now, stay tuned. I’ll be here until two, when we’ll have the incredible Agatha Longbranch.”
Gwen got to rub all over the poor guy again, as she tried to silently get out of the booth. It was probably too noisy, but as soon as she got outside, into the lobby area, she was waylaid. By Agatha, not the manager of the place. She’d gone a bit off script for the commercials after all. She really couldn’t sing though. In her old body that hadn’t been an option really. Now she just lacked the skill. Getting it while on the air wasn’t going to work for her. Anyone else either, she was willing to bet.
“Gwen! You were fabulous! I nearly didn’t recognize you.” She winced, then shook her head, smiling. “No, I won’t even take it back. That sounded… Professional. Entertaining at the same time. Perhaps a trifle raw, perhaps, but no one will doubt your honesty. Raw in this case means close to being off color. You did warn people away. Not that it ever truly works. I wager that we’ll get a few complaints!” She smiled though and patted Gwen on the arm.
She screwed her face up a bit and then shook her head.
“I hope I wasn’t offensive to anyone. I just tried to let people know the real answers as best I could. Now, not to just dash off, but I’m going to go get some candy. That maple fudge sounded good, didn’t it?”
The woman chuckled a bit, but seemed positive about the idea.
“It did! T
he shop isn’t far either. Just down the street a bit?” She pointed, but it was one that Gwen already knew, having seen it in passing.
That had been years before, but it was enough for her to get off to the place. She waited for Agatha to move to her next task, then teletransported to the sidewalk next to the candy shop. The place was brightly colored. Almost as if it had been decorated by Gypsies that had taken a lot of acid before they started painting the place. It was mainly blue and red, with liberal use of orange and yellow for the trim. There was no line out the door at least, yet, which meant she could dash in and get some things to take back to the Peregrine. As far as she could tell adults didn’t often eat candy in the Western Kingdom.
It wasn’t impossible, but it hadn’t been served at dinner or anything like that. Then, it wouldn’t have been. The place smelled delicious at any rate. There was definitely maple in the air. Chocolate as well. Behind a large glass counter there was a wonderful array of treats. Behind the colorful display, a young woman stood, smiling. She was dressed in all red and yellow, with a bright, multi-colored apron over the top. After a moment her eyes went very wide.
“Gwen Farris? I… Didn’t think you’d really be coming… Father! Come quickly.” She didn’t sound upset, but a man dashed from the back of the place, rather rapidly.
“What’s happening? Did something…” The man smiled when he saw her, even if she was dressed like a dock worker. It was kind of handy, actually, since she had a few mets in her pocket that way. Normally she would have been stuck, not having her bag with her. Instead she had twenty or so, she thought. Gwen had no real clue what things would cost, but looking at the trays of treats she saw that a serving tended to cost one or two cents apiece. There would be about twenty people on the ship, so she counted things up. Not everyone would want something, most likely. Then, some of the men could eat a whole lot, so that needed to be accounted for.
“Hi! I’m going to need an assortment of things? It’s for twenty or so people… Call it five mets worth?” That might not be enough, but she could get more if it was needed.