by Tia Louise
“Let me go inside,” I say. “I’ll put it on inside.”
I motion to the hut, and she smiles, handing me the new dress. For a moment, I only look at it, running my fingers over the perfectly small, neat stitches she made around the new, floral panels.
It’s unique and interesting, and I can’t help thinking of when Reggie took Ava and me to the designer boutiques at Bal Harbor. Ximena is so creative, and she’s an amazing seamstress. She could design clothes…
I’m inside the small house slipping out of my old dress and using it to dry the sweat off my body. She cleaned my denim dress before altering it, and I consider running to the little shower in the bushes to rinse off before I put on my beautiful new dress.
Taking my time, I step into it, pulling it over my tiny pooch. I have to laugh at my silly little stomach. It’s not even a bump. I’ve simply gotten thick in the middle and back, and I look like a sausage. What would Cal say if he saw me now? Would he laugh? Would he touch my stomach in wonder at what we’ve done, like I do? How would his beautiful eyes change if they saw me? Would they darken with desire?
A lump is in my throat as I pull the dress up and tie the halter part around my neck. I can only see the bottom, but I do a little spin. From what I can tell, it looks beautiful! I’m just about to run outside and thank my friend when I hear the sound of a truck pulling into the yard.
I look toward the cloth door, expecting Ximena to run inside like she always does when anyone comes into our little camp. I wait several moments, and she still doesn’t appear. The noise of voices speaking their language is loud in the courtyard, and I hear a shout. I’m stunned, and I run to the curtain. It’s Ximena shouting.
Slinging it aside, I see Mako is in the yard. He’s with two other men I’ve never seen before. They’re driving a truck and in the back three women are crouched together, their chins tucked into their knees as if for protection.
My eyes move fast from them to Mako, and I see he’s grasping Ximena’s arm. She is pulling back, struggling against his hold, and I run to where they’re standing. He speaks sharply. I make out Selena, and she instantly stops struggling. Their eyes lock for the beat of a heart and she relents. Her fight is gone, and she starts to go with him.
“NO!” I scream, grasping her arm and pulling hard.
My motions seem to enrage him. Mako shoves my chest, and I stumble backwards.
“Cards!” I scream, holding out my hands. “Cards for Ximena!”
His eyes narrow on me. Stepping forward, he puffs out his chest, and I know he’s trying to intimidate me. “You cheat!” he says.
“NO!” I shout. “Cards for Ximena!”
I’ve got to save her. It’s all I can do, even if he’s right and I am cheating. One of the first tricks Seth taught me was to count cards. Still, I’m cheating a pimp—that makes it okay, right? I don’t care. In my world the answer is yes.
Mako looks over his shoulder at his friend and speaks fast in his language. I make out the words bitch and teach her. Whatever it takes.
Following me back into the house, I go to the drawer where Selena keeps her worn deck. We don’t have much time, and I know I only get one round. I need to let him deal so he doesn’t renege. I shuffle sloppily and pass the cards to him to deal.
Four cards. In front of Mako is a ten of hearts. In front of me is a three of clubs. We have two cards facing down, and I know exactly what to do.
“Keda,” he says. Stay.
“Hit me.” He puts a card in front of me. It’s an ace, and he starts to laugh.
“Djesun!” he shouts pointing at it. Eleven.
He won’t let me count it as a one because he wants me to bust. I bust and he wins. I nod in agreement. I know what’s coming. He flips his facedown card, and it’s another ten.
“HAHA!” It’s a shout rather than a laugh, and it’s right in my face.
“Warda,” I say softly. Wait.
Turning my last card over, it’s a seven of hearts.
Black eyes go wide. He stares at the table several minutes then looks at my hands and back to the card.
His fist flies up, and I brace for him to hit me. It’s going to hurt like hell, and I’ve got to be sure I fall in a way that protects my stomach and my head. I’m not sure I can handle another concussive blow.
Seconds pass. He’s trembling, fist raised, and I’m squinting, ducking with my whole body tense. When another moment passes, I sneak a look at him, and I can see something bigger than me is holding him back. He’s weighing the consequences of hurting me, and ultimately, he backs down. Wade Paxton is one mean motherfucker, and even this peasant pimp knows it.
His eyes are blazing anger, and he throws the metal chair aside. I watch as he storms out of the cubicle into the yard. I hear the shrieks of a woman from another house, and my stomach sinks. I would save them all if I could, but I can’t. I can only save Ximena.
My shoulders droop, and I’m suddenly so tired. I’m still sitting at the table looking at my twenty-one hand when Ximena quietly returns. She doesn’t speak as she goes to the small kitchen area and starts to prepare the vegetables for our meager dinner.
I slowly walk to my cot and lie down. I’m so exhausted from the adrenaline, and lately I’ve simply been tired all the time. I don’t know if I’m getting proper nutrition. I don’t know if the way I feel is normal. I don’t know anything, and I don’t have anyone to ask. I only know I saved my friend.
I look up and I watch as she moves around the little space. I don’t know how long Mako will abide by the rules of our game, but she’s safe for now. Selena is coming home, and the three of us will sit at that little table and eat dinner together. We will be like a little family.
Gathering my strength, I get off the cot and go to the door to wait for Selena. Whenever I see her at the edge of the trees in the afternoon, we always smile and wave to each other until she’s at the house. It has become our ritual, and it gives me comfort to see her safely return.
My stomach knots when I see Mako and the men are still in the courtyard with their truck bed of sacrificial lambs. I don’t want Selena around them. I know she knows what happens to these women—she knows more than I do about everything—but I don’t like Mako near her. It reminds me of our foster father and Ava, and I don’t have a lamp to smash over his head.
I see her at the tree line, and I make the decision to go to her this time when the noise of another truck sounds in the distance. It’s coming fast, the noise growing louder, until it breaks through the trees. It’s the strange Jeep-truck hybrid. It’s Blix. His eyes flash at me, and I know at once no amount of card playing is going to save me.
He’s out of the truck and circling to the back. His jaw is set, and something is different this time. I get the distinct feeling he’s not here to take pictures.
Selena runs out of the trees toward me, but I stop her. “Go to the house!”
She’s confused, and she hesitates too long. Mako is watching us, and that fucker is smart. He’s always known I’m special, and now he’s trying to see if he can get in on whatever the promise of me entails.
Blix is digging in the back of his truck. He has what looks like a large tackle box, and he rifles through yellow rope, a spool of clear nylon fishing line, pliers. Finally he takes out something that looks like a huge garlic press. He turns to face me, and I don’t know why I’m not more afraid. Maybe I think because I’m carrying Cal’s baby they’ll go easier on me? Looking back, I know I was a fool.
Curiosity drives the men from the truck. They know Blix is one of Wade’s men—possibly the worst of Wade’s men—and they want to see what’s about to happen. They’re all speaking fast in Mako’s tongue, quietly under their breath.
Blix’s dead eyes are fixed on me, and he doesn’t say a word. His mouth is set in a straight line, and he doesn’t stop until he’s standing directly in front of me. I think about our first day—I think about every day since I’ve met this man. I’m not a human to him. I’m not even sure I’m an ani
mal. I’m a commodity in a deal he’s helping play out against the man I love.
Blix grabs my forearm and jerks it up. Instinctively, I jerk it back, out of his grip. His dead eyes flash, and he rears back so quickly, I don’t have time to duck.
Light explodes behind my eyes with the force of his fist, and next thing I know, I’m on my hands and knees on the ground. The screams of Ximena and Selena from behind the curtain fill my ears, and I cringe back from the pain in my head.
“Oh, God!” I whisper a real prayer. I’m on my hands and knees, clutching my arms over my head. “Help us.”
Tears are in my eyes, and Blix’s boots appear before them. He’s standing in front of me, and he jerks my hand off my head. I’m handicapped by my injury. I can’t fight him. I can barely register what’s going on.
I close my eyes and again, I pray. Please help me. Please don’t let them suffer for me again. The words are in my mind as I slowly lift my head. My eyes open and then go wide with horror.
Blix has the garlic press in his hand, and I just register the touch of metal against my skin when SNAP! He clamps the metal pinchers shut and the end of my ring finger falls to the ground.
Silence fills my ears half a second before pain shoots through my hand.
I scream. I can’t stop screaming.
I look at the dead little digit. It’s like something out of a haunted house lying on the ground. Blood is pouring down my arm, and I can’t stop screaming. I’m staring at it from somewhere far away, somewhere filled with blood and pain, and the noise of my screams.
The men run back in the direction of the truck, and Blix jerks my hand up, wrapping it tightly in some kind of white material and applying pressure. It hurts a million times worse, and I scream until my throat burns fire and my voice gives out. Pain resonates in my hand and arm, and I’m trembling and whimpering when he finally pushes me back, satisfied I won’t bleed to death.
He never speaks. He bends down and plucks the end of my finger off the ground and drops it in a plastic bag, then he returns to his vehicle and drives away. My insides shudder violently. I’m on my knees, one arm tight around my waist, still whimpering, holding my hand at my stomach but afraid to touch it. It’s covered in blood and a purple line is below the bandage now stained dark red. I can’t look directly at it. The only thing I see is the ring. The tin ring Cal gave me. I want Cal…
Ximena runs out to me. My teeth rattle and the dizziness is back. I think I’m going to faint. Hazy shapes cloud my vision, but I feel her taking my arms. I focus with all my strength on getting to my feet, allowing her to take me into the house. Selena is at my other side, holding my waist. She’s crying. I see the slick coating of tears on her cheeks, but I can’t speak. My voice is gone. My fight is gone. They’re too strong, and I can’t win this time.
I’ve been a thief and a liar all my life, and my time in this place is the prison sentence I ran to Monagasco to escape. My motives don’t matter. Protecting Ava doesn’t matter. Only my crimes exist here, and I see this moment as the reckoning for everything I’ve done.
We’re at the sink, and Ximena speaks to her daughter. Selena runs to their bed, and I hear the sound of material ripping.
I can’t stop shaking. My body is hot and cold. I can still feel the cold metal pliers against my hand. I can still hear the notch sound, and I see half my finger fall like a bit of play dough to the ground. I see Blix’s dead eyes, and I wonder if I’m nothing more than another fish to be skinned in his mind.
“You’re in shock.” Ximena says.
I’m on the cot wrapped in a blanket. She holds a cup of broth to my lips, and I try to drink it. I try to think, but the throbbing in my head makes logic difficult. It’s interesting to note the disabling fire of a concussion can take a backseat to the searing agony of a severed finger. Two pains are warring in my body, and based on my bizarre train of thought, I think my friend is right. I think I’m in shock.
Ximena speaks in a whisper. She’s wrapping and wrapping. Selena is pale, but she comes to me.
“It’s going to be okay. Mama says it’s going to be okay.”
She’s wrapping my finger as if she has experience with such things. Perhaps this isn’t the worst thing she’s seen. I can’t imagine what that means. I can’t imagine anything anymore. I don’t know what day it is. Every day bleeds into the next like the blood pouring from my hand. I don’t know how long I’ve been here, and I don’t know what I’m looking forward to anymore.
My stomach hurts, and I need to pee. “Baño,” I whisper.
Selena takes my arm. I’m still in the beautiful dress Ximena made for me, only now it’s stained with blood. It’s a sign of our friendship. It’s a sign we’ve protected each other. She’s rescued me twice. I’ve rescued her twice. Now it’s covered in my blood.
Selena walks me to the bushes. “Will you be okay alone?”
I nod and step a few paces into the brush to crouch. It doesn’t take long for me to pee, and I wait, shaking my hips so the urine can get off me. I look around for a friendly leaf or something I can use to help. A banana plant is nearby, and I reach for a large leaf to pat myself dry. It’s slippery, and when I pull it away, I see a dark red stain on the leaf. My stomach cramps, and I know something more is wrong.
“Selena?” I whisper, trying to call her.
Do I dare attempt another prayer? God, please, no. Please don’t take my baby.
Leaning heavily on Selena, we stagger to the house. I go to my cot and lie on my side. Ximena crosses the room to me, but my head is overwhelming me. All of it is overwhelming me. I can’t tell her what’s wrong. I can only give in to the pain.
* * *
What happens next comes in and out as hazy visions. I hear voices. I know Ximena is beside me. I feel her hand on my head.
I drink from the familiar gourd and then pass back into oblivion. I can’t do anything. I can’t help anybody.
The day I lost my finger, the day I saved Ximena… Was that yesterday? The day before? A week ago? My baby… Is my baby okay?
My eyes are fused shut it seems. Heat rises all around us in waves, and I’m still on the cot. Darkness comes, and I’ve been asleep. Voices are around me, but I don’t recognize them. I hear Cal’s rich voice, and I smile. My eyes are closed, and he’s with me in the ocean. We’re back at our beautiful beach in Tortola, and we’ve run down to the shore like I’d always wanted to do.
We don’t need clothes. It’s our private beach, and no one is around. Twilight paints the scene in black and white, and my arms are around his neck. His large hands span my lower back, sliding down over my ass as my breasts press flat against his firm chest.
The water laps around us as our lips meet. He kisses me like he always does, firmly, passionately, demanding, taking. Our tongues slide together as the waves rise and fall, moving us slowly in a rocking motion. I feel the dark waters just at the line of my lower back. I taste the salt on Cal’s tongue as his warm, strong hands touch me, hold me, lift me against him.
“Cal,” I whisper, tightening my hold on his shoulders.
His skin is against my face. I can smell his delicious scent of citrus and cedar and him. My Cal… His strong arms are around me, and it’s the most wonderfully secure I’ve felt in my entire embattled existence.
I want to kiss him again, but he speaks. “Yes, my love. I’ve got you.”
My stomach flashes at the sound. My eyes fly open, and it’s not a dream. I’m in his arms. Cal is holding me against his chest. One arm is around my back and one is beneath my legs. It’s dark, and he’s carrying me into the trees.
We’re moving fast, and I’m crying. I’m holding his neck, and my body shudders with joy and relief and sobbing. I didn’t know it was possible to feel this way, as if my insides are spilling out from my eyes. I can’t speak. I can’t stop crying. I can only hold him and weep as he carries me out of this place, away from the nightmare.
“Don’t cry, my love,” he soothes, but I hear the break in
his voice. “I have you. You’re safe now.”
We’re on the path I took that day so long ago when I found the beach and the baths. Someone is with us, and when we reach the beach, Cal lowers my legs to stand while catches his breath. One strong arm holds me firmly against his torso.
“Is she okay?” I recognize Logan’s voice.
Cal has me in his arms. My face is pressed against his neck, and I can’t let him go. I haven’t let him go since I woke up to find him here. I’m almost afraid to look around or speak in case this is all a dream and it fades. I’m not sure I could take that.
“She’s going to be okay,” Cal says, and joy vibrates in my bones. It’s not a dream! “Let’s get her to the boat.”
22
Covert Ops
Cal
We’ve been in Tortola two days, and I haven’t been able to get the image of Zee and the pregnancy test out of my mind. Logan convinced me to stay here, let the men we’ve hired search the islands for her, but everything I touch here reminds me of Zee.
I was such a shit to her. I was so angry. Sitting on the bed, I clutch my head in my hands as regret racks my insides. “When I find you, Zelda Wilder, I’m never letting you go.”
My phone rings, and I snatch it up. Rowan is calling.
“What’s up, Ro?” I’m desperate for word, especially now with August first looming.
Our men have been searching. We’re playing with fire, and I’m ready to say screw the detectives, forget the plans. I’ll find her myself.
“Ava thinks she has the coordinates for Zee.”
I’m off the bed and throwing open drawers at once. “How? Where did she find them?”
“Ever since the pregnancy test and Seth’s murder, she’s dedicated herself to finding the leak at Occitan. She hasn’t left the estate. She’s followed the staff, sneaked into their rooms…”
I hear the pride in his voice, and I can only imagine my beautiful, future sister-in-law invading our seaside estate.