by Anna Sugden
“And ease the burden for those who loved him.”
“Like any of us cared about that,” Grey muttered fiercely.
“I know. But he cared.” Scott swallowed, trying to ease the lump in his throat. “Much as we hate it, we have to accept this is what he wanted.”
The funeral director, who had been passing through the mourners, stopped in front of them, offering the box of earth and the shovel. Grey went first, said his silent goodbye, then tossed some soil into the hole.
Scott winced at the hollow thud it made when it hit the casket. Then he did the same. “Rest in peace, bro.”
He shifted uncomfortably. “We should pay our respects to Laurel and the boys, then get the hell out of this miserable place.”
“Yeah. Bullet wouldn’t want us moping around a graveyard when we could be toasting him.” Grey’s lips managed a semblance of a half smile.
Both men found it hard to take that first step away.
Around them, the crowd began to disperse. Mourners made their way to the waiting line of cars at the gate. Grey and Scott held back, letting everyone else go. Even though there were plenty of people to look after Cam’s wife, they wanted to be there for her.
Finally, Laurel’s sons and her sisters walked a short distance away from the grave site, leaving her to pay her last respects to her husband. She dropped to her knees. In a low voice, she spoke for a few minutes. When she’d finished, the sky appeared to brighten and a small patch of blue appeared, at odds with the sleet that still fell around them.
Scott and Grey walked over to Laurel and helped her to her feet.
She thanked them. “You know, even with all the problems, I wouldn’t change a second I had with him. I’ll treasure every moment, always. He was my man, my heart. Our time together was far too short, but I know he loved me to the end. He still does.”
She hugged Grey, then Scott. “Don’t let the way he left us color your memories of him. Honor him by living and laughing and, most important, loving.”
Laurel blew a kiss toward the small patch of blue in the sky, then gave them a watery smile before joining her family. Her back straight and her head held high, she didn’t turn once.
Grey and Scott gave one last look at the grave, then followed behind slowly, their footsteps crunching on the salt-covered path.
“You know, that cloud kind of looks like the Stanley Cup.” Grey pointed to the right of the rainbow.
Scott’s gaze followed the direction of his friend’s finger.
He stopped suddenly, almost slipping on the icy surface.
Not because there was indeed a cloud that, with a lot of imagination, was shaped like the famous silver chalice. But because a familiar, far more precious figure stood on the path ahead.
Sapphie started toward him. She faltered a few feet away, looking uncertain.
“Don’t blow this, bro,” Grey said softly. Then, a little louder, he added, “I’ll catch a ride with Kasanski and Chance. See you at the house.”
He stopped to hug Sapphie, then strode away.
Sapphie continued toward Scott, halting in front of him. She didn’t meet his gaze.
He cleared his throat, trying to shift a knot the size of a boulder. “You came.”
Talk about stating the freaking obvious.
“I’m sorry I’m late.” She twisted her fingers together. “Flight delays because of the bad weather. Then it took forever to get a cab to come out here... I didn’t think I’d make it.”
“I’m really glad you did.”
She finally looked up and gave him a tentative smile. “I know we’re not—I thought you shouldn’t be alone. I hope that’s okay.”
“Definitely. It means a lot.” Jeez. Could he sound any lamer? “It’s good to see you.”
There was so much he wanted to say, to ask her, but fear of screwing up had him tongue-tied. He hoped it was a positive sign that she seemed lost for words, too.
The sleet stopped. This wasn’t the best place for the conversation he wanted desperately to have with her, yet he was afraid that if they didn’t talk now, the moment would be lost.
“Do you want to walk?” He nodded toward the memorial garden, where a winding path meandered between the snow-covered statuary to a gazebo.
“I’d like that.”
Relieved, he managed a smile. “Will you be warm enough?”
She considered her long black coat and fur-trimmed boots. “I think so.”
She slipped her gloved hand through his crooked arm. He flexed his fingers in his coat pocket, debating, then laid his hand over hers.
As they strolled, their breath misted the frigid air.
Unsure where to start, he blurted out, “I can’t believe you’re here.”
Sapphie bit her lip. “I’m sorry. There should never have been any question of me being with you today. None of the excuses I gave mattered a damn. I know I missed the—”
“You came. That’s what counts.”
“You have Marty to thank for this.”
His eyebrows shot up. “I do?”
“He gave me hell. Said there are times when those we love are more important than anything else. We do what we must to meet our work obligations, but we don’t let those we care about down.”
“He said that, huh?” Scott focused on the key four-letter word in the midst of her explanation, hoping it was true.
“Marty was right, as usual.” Sapphie gave him a chagrined smile. “I’ve done a lot of thinking and realized that I was putting obstacles in our way. I thought I’d dealt with my baggage from the past, yet I was allowing it to dictate my present, and future.”
The blame wasn’t all hers. “I’m just as guilty of letting the past hamstring me. We were both trying to prevent any more pain.”
“Instead, we hurt ourselves and each other even more.”
They’d reached the gazebo, which provided some shelter from the snow that had started to fall. The bench inside was dry, so they huddled together on it. Scott put his arm around her shoulders, she rested her head on his chest and they sat silently for several minutes.
Then she sighed and straightened while still remaining in his embrace. “You were right, too. You made a lot of allowances for me, but I didn’t do the same. I was so set on my rules about not having a relationship—to protect myself—that I ignored the fact that we were already in one. Until we weren’t.”
Hope grew. She was saying all the right things. “I was as bad. I tried to hold on too tight. Force-fit us into an ideal that I knew couldn’t work. Hell, it didn’t work before. You’d think I’d learned. Instead, I pushed harder and pushed you away.”
Sapphie caressed his face. “We’ve both been stubborn and made mistakes. Cam’s death was a harsh wake-up call—one that forced us to face up to those mistakes. But it also helped me recognize that because life is short, you have to grab happiness where you find it. That you can lose more by doing nothing than by taking the risk and making the tough choice.”
She grimaced. “I’m babbling again and not saying this very well.” She opened her purse, pulled out a folded piece of flip-chart paper and handed it to him. “This is for you. My present for the holidays.”
Scott opened it. On it was a list of actions for her life, like the one he’d created. Only, hers had a big red cross through it. Beneath the list was a heart containing their initials.
He gripped the cold wooden arm of the bench. Did this mean what he thought? He hoped so. Yet he’d been wrong about so much that he was afraid to assume. “You’re early. Valentine’s Day isn’t until February.”
“I like to be ahead of the game.” Her laugh was a little shaky. “I told you I’d done a lot of thinking about what’s important to me. I started to list what I wanted to do about them. Then I realized it was meani
ngless.”
“It was?” The items she’d written seemed pretty important to him. Especially as they fitted closely with what he wanted. Did the cross through them mean she’d changed her mind?
“Of course. Because I was writing the list by myself. Where I live, what I do with my business—these things aren’t only important to me. They affect us both. Our future together. I can’t make those decisions on my own. I should be making them with you.”
Her words lit him up inside, filling him with happiness.
“I’m sure we won’t agree on everything, but there will be compromise. I want to make it work.” Sapphie looked at him uncertainly. “Unless it is too late and you don’t want that.”
He surged to his feet, taking her with him, and wrapped her in his arms. “Trust me, I want that very much.”
“Thank goodness.” Sapphie puffed out a breath. “Unfortunately, we can’t do that today. I only have enough time to go to the wake for an hour before I have to head to the airport for my flight to England. But we can do it when I return in a couple of weeks.”
“Actually, we won’t have to wait that long.” He took out his phone, tapped the screen a few times, then showed it to her. “That’s my ticket to go to England, tonight.”
She looked up at him. “Really?”
“I wanted to show you how important you are to me. That I’m prepared to make tough choices to make things work for us.” He twisted his lips. “I’m sorry I was such a jackass, insisting you come to the funeral. I shouldn’t have used it as emotional blackmail. If the situation had been reversed, I’d have reacted like you did.”
She framed his face with her hands. “You were in a mess. Your head wasn’t on straight.”
“That didn’t give me the excuse to behave the way I did. I wanted to put that right. I thought about missing the funeral—Laurel would have understood. But I couldn’t not be here. So I arranged the next best thing.”
“I’m glad you didn’t miss Cam’s funeral. You needed to say your goodbyes.” She smiled softly. “And we’d have wasted a lot of time, going in opposite directions.”
“True.” He lowered his head and kissed her, deeply and thoroughly.
In that moment, Scott felt complete. Being with Sapphie would never be easy. But the smooth would make the rough worth it and, man, he’d enjoy the making up.
When they started to head out of the gazebo, arm in arm, the snow switched to hail. It was so violent they had to dash back under cover.
“It’s as if Mother Nature thinks we aren’t done yet.” Sapphie laughed.
“Perhaps she’s waiting to hear the words,” he said carefully.
Her gaze narrowed. “I don’t want to spoil everything, but please don’t pop the question.”
He shook his head. “Those weren’t the words I meant. We don’t know if marriage is or will be on your—our—list. And, just so you know, I’m happy either way.”
“Thank you. I may get there, someday—”
He kissed her. “For now, this is enough.”
“Then which words do you mean?”
Hoping this wouldn’t have the same reaction as a potential proposal, he said, “I love you.” He added hurriedly, “I know you’re probably not ready to say it, or even hear it. And I don’t expect you to say it to me until you are, no matter what weather Mother Nature throws at us—” He sighed ruefully. “Guess I’m the one babbling now.”
She said nothing for several seconds, making Scott nervous. Then her expression cleared and she wound her arms around his neck. “I love you, too. Very much.”
Their kiss, achingly tender, sealed their love.
Outside the gazebo, the hailstorm eased and the pounding ice became softly falling snow.
Fingers firmly entwined, Scott and Sapphie walked out of the cemetery. Whatever the future held, they would face it together.
And win.
Four months later
“THIS ISN’T THE way to the apartment.” Sapphie frowned as Scotty took the wrong exit off I-95 on their way from the airport.
“It’s a new route home.” He grinned.
She’d just arrived from a few days in LA, where she’d signed the papers selling her business to Antonelli Holdings for an obscenely large amount of money. Of course, that alone wasn’t what had convinced her to sell. Marty had made her an offer she couldn’t refuse.
She and Scotty had discussed the pros and cons and had decided the security the deal provided, for Sapphie and her staff—not to mention the opportunities for expansion and growth—were too good to resist. Sapphie still ran the business—which now had three full-time bases, in New Jersey, LA and Chicago—but because the offices were managed by VPs she’d selected, her time had been freed to work on only the projects she wanted.
The flexibility meant she could have the best of both worlds—the challenging job she loved and more time with the wonderful man beside her, whom she loved even more.
It was still early days, and there were plenty of issues for them to overcome, but it was working out well. More important, they were facing those issues together.
“Where are we going?” she asked as he turned into an unfamiliar leafy suburb.
Scotty sighed and shook his head. “You really want me to tell you?”
She’d never been a fan of surprises, but he looked so eager that she didn’t want to spoil his fun. “All right. I’ll be patient.”
“You won’t have to wait long to find out. In fact, we’re here.” He pulled into the driveway of a traditional-style brick house.
Everything about it was exactly as she’d imagined months ago when she’d thought about the kind of house he’d have. From the wraparound porch to the colorful shutters and gingerbread trim to the wide expanse of yard.
“It’s lovely, but what exactly is here?” she asked as they got out of the car.
“Possibly our new home.”
She looked at him through narrowed eyes. “What do you mean?”
They’d started living together, last month, when Scotty had moved into Sapphie’s New Jersey apartment. She still had her other apartments for when she traveled to her offices. Scotty had given his ex-wife the house, which had suited everyone, including his kids. Angela wasn’t antagonistic anymore and there was even the occasional sign she might be warming to Sapphie. It helped that both Wayne and Angela’s boyfriend liked Sapphie.
Living with Scotty had taken some getting used to, but that was the benefit of their occasionally long-distance relationship—it gave them space to adapt to this new phase in their lives.
They’d talked about finding a place they could buy together. Sapphie hadn’t expected it to happen so quickly. Her stomach tightened with apprehension as her old fears resurfaced. A house was a major commitment. Was this too soon? Would it be a step too far?
Sensing her nervousness, he leaned forward and kissed her. “We’re getting a chance to see this house before it goes on the market. I promise there’s no commitment to buy, but I thought it was too perfect to pass up the opportunity to check it out.”
He held out his hand, palm up. “We can have a look, or we can turn around and leave. Your choice.”
Just that easily, Sapphie’s fears subsided. Because she knew Scotty meant what he said.
She placed her hand in his. “It is very nice. I don’t suppose it would hurt to see if the inside is as good as the outside.”
“I think you’ll like what you see.” They walked down the path toward the front door. “I know you’ll like the deck and the backyard. It’s filled with trees and has a stream running through it.”
When they reached the steps, Sapphie stopped and smiled.
She slipped her arm around Scotty’s waist and said, “I have a feeling this house is going to be perfect.”
*
* * * *
Be sure to check out the rest of the
NEW JERSEY ICE CATS books
by Anna Sugden:
A PERFECT DISTRACTION
A PERFECT TRADE
A PERFECT CATCH
and
A PERFECT COMPROMISE
Available at Harlequin.com
Keep reading for an excerpt from SHE’S FAR FROM HOLLYWOOD by Jo McNally.
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She’s Far From Hollywood
by Jo McNally
CHAPTER ONE
BRIANNA MATHEWS HATED North Carolina.