by Gerri Hill
Carson realized she was being a bit arrogant. Not all women were going to fall all over themselves because of her. Although most did. Regardless, Kerry Elder seemed immune, which was probably for the best. Carson had no interest in causing a rift with her brother, no matter how beautiful the consultant was.
Kerry continued putting her clothes away, still somewhat rattled by her encounter with Carson Cartwright. She was surprised by her accusation, but it wasn’t the first time someone thought she was gay. Why that was, she had no idea. She had always gravitated toward women, even as a child. To this day, she felt more comfortable in the presence of women than men. But that didn’t mean she wanted to sleep with them. She tilted her head, allowing herself a small smile. That’s not to say she hadn’t thought about it...a time or two.
She turned her thoughts to Carson and those incredibly beautiful hazel eyes. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been around a woman with such powerful magnetism. Carson was positively oozing with it. As handsome and charming as she found the brothers to be, Carson was twice that. No doubt she could have any woman she set her sights on. Kerry paused, wondering if that’s what had her so flustered. She found Carson attractive, much more so than her brothers.
She then turned her thoughts to Cody. God, did she lead him on that much that he expected a hug when he saw her? Did he really think their relationship had surpassed friendship just because she’d innocently—or not so innocently—flirted with him?
He was a really nice guy, but she knew she had to speak with him about this. She couldn’t continue this charade for much longer. There was not even a tiny hint of sexual attraction there. Of course, if she were smart, she’d wait until the bunkhouse renovations began before opening her mouth. She couldn’t risk sending him over to Chance’s side.
And if she were really smart, she’d stay away from Carson Cartwright. A certain danger lurked there, she suspected.
Chapter Nine
It was still two hours until dinner, and Carson knew the consultant was still holed up in her room. Cody had left the house and if their schedule remained as it had, the guys wouldn’t return until an hour before dinner. One thing for sure, the brothers were putting in long hours—they’d leave the house each morning shortly after daybreak, returning only for a quick sandwich for lunch. She’d found out from Martha that breakfast was at five o’clock each morning. Carson decided right then and there that eating cold leftovers at eight suited her just fine.
She hadn’t ventured from the ranch house yet, not wanting to go to the stables and stir up those old memories. Not yet, anyway. But she was feeling restless. She did want to see Windstorm. She hadn’t seen him, touched him, since that last day when her mother was alive—and dead.
No, she wasn’t ready to travel down that road yet. She was, however, ready to see her father. She went quickly down the hall, hesitating just a second before knocking. She heard the nurse stirring and then the door opened, the old woman frowning at her.
“I’m Carson,” she said.
“I know who you are.”
When she made no move to allow Carson to enter, Carson looked past her, noting the bedroom furnishings were positioned differently than when her mother had been alive. She looked back to the nurse.
“I’d like to see him.”
“He’s resting,” she said sternly. A loud cough belied her words.
Carson raised an eyebrow. “I won’t be long,” she said, pushing past the nurse who guarded the door as if it were a prison. She followed the sound of the coughing, finding only a shell of the man who was her father. Chase had tried to prepare her, but she just couldn’t match up this frail sack of bones with that of the robust man she’d known.
He turned his head, now totally bald, his eyes cloudy with pain. At first she wasn’t sure he recognized her as he seemed to be looking past her.
“I thought I had died there for a minute,” he said, his voice gravelly and hoarse. “You look just like your momma.”
“I’d ask how you were but...you look like shit,” she said bluntly.
He surprised her by laughing which turned into another coughing fit. The nurse hurried over, holding a handkerchief to his lips as blood spewed out. She looked at Carson and shook her head disapprovingly.
“Lung cancer?” she asked the nurse.
“It’s affected most organs now, but yes, he has tumors in his lungs.” She stood back, glaring at Carson. “You really should be going now.”
“In a minute,” she said, turning back to her father. “How much longer?” she asked him.
“I’m on borrowed time as it is,” he said. “Who the hell knows?”
His gaze left her, moving to the window instead. She followed it, seeing why the bed had been repositioned. He now had a view of the lake and valley. She supposed there were worst things to see from your deathbed.
“Chase seems to think I need to make my peace with you,” she finally said. “I think that’s impossible. Don’t you?”
“Still pissed at me?”
“Pissed? You took away my life. It goes way beyond being pissed,” she said, letting her bitterness show in her words.
“Then why did you come back? The ranch was never yours. You think I might have left you a little something in the will?”
“I want nothing from you. Besides, to hear the boys tell it, there’s not much left to leave.”
“No. I’ve pretty much ruined that too,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
She nodded. “Yeah, you were always pretty good at ruining things.”
“You did a good job of that all by yourself,” he said. “You didn’t need my help.”
“No. I learned from the best.”
“Don’t blame me for the way you turned out. I tried my best to make you normal.”
“Normal? God, are we going to revisit that subject again?”
“You’d rather talk about something else?”
“No. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t know why I even came back.”
“And I told you not to. Cold day in hell, remember?”
She shook her head. “I see you’re the same bastard you always were. I’ll just let you die in peace,” she said, turning to leave.
He tried to laugh but it turned into a cough. As the nurse went to him, he called to her.
“Come back tomorrow. We should talk.”
“Maybe,” she said, closing the door on him.
She took a deep breath. Jesus, he looked like hell. She hardly recognized him to be the father she once knew. But a bastard? Yeah. That hadn’t changed.
“I told you he looked bad,” Chase said as he leaned back in his chair, watching as she added scotch to both their glasses.
“I can’t believe he’s still alive,” she said. “He was coughing blood.”
“Yeah. He’s been doing that for the last week.” He sipped his drink, then put his feet up on their father’s desk. “But did you get to talk?”
“Not really. He may be dying, but he’s still a bastard,” she said.
Chase laughed. “Did he call you queer again?”
“No. He used the word normal. As in I’m not.” She shrugged. “That’s not the issue anyway. That was just a convenient excuse for him at the time. Just like blaming me for her death,” she said quietly. “Just an excuse for him.”
“I know how much his words hurt you.”
“His words, yes. And the look in his eyes. He was just so disgusted with me. I saw hatred. I saw loathing. It was as if he detested my very presence on this earth.” She glanced at Chase. “When he told me he never wanted to see me again, when he told me to leave, I knew I had no choice. I could see that in his eyes. He meant those words. It was like I was dead to him.”
“It took him years to get over Mom’s death. If he ever got over it,” he said. “He was never the same after that.”
“He was different with you all. He treated you like his sons. Me? I felt like a stepchild who was not allowed t
o take part in the real family.”
“It wasn’t always like that,” he reminded her.
“Wasn’t it? I don’t remember a time when it wasn’t.”
“When we were kids,” he said. “Before puberty. I just don’t think he knew how to handle having a gay daughter. And having sex with Cody’s girlfriends didn’t help.”
She laughed. “Speaking of, did you see how he hung on her every word at dinner?”
“He held her chair out for her,” Chase said with a laugh.
“He’s going to get hurt over this one,” she said.
“Yeah. Did you see how she nearly cringed every time he touched her?”
“Yes. She looked really uncomfortable with the attention.”
To say the least. To her credit, Kerry had done nothing to indicate she viewed Cody as anything more than a friend, but apparently the damage had been done. Cody was like a puppy dog at her heels. He was going to be crushed when he found out she wasn’t interested in him.
“She’s really cute though, isn’t she?”
Chase shook his head. “Don’t go there, sis,” he warned. “You’ll be asking for trouble.”
“Oh, I know. And I’m too old to be toying with Cody’s girlfriends.”
“At least you’ve learned that much,” he said with a laugh.
“Learned what?”
They both turned, finding Chance standing in the doorway, looking at them expectantly.
“Nothing,” Chase said.
“He’s not even dead yet, Chase. Must you defile his office?”
Chase glanced at Carson and rolled his eyes. “Big brother thinks the old man’s study is sacred ground.” He held up his glass, leaving his feet propped on the edge of the desk. “Want to join us?”
“I see she’s corrupting you already. Don’t you have something more productive to do than sit around and drink?”
“Jesus, lighten up man,” Carson said. “We have a lot of catching up to do.”
“By your own choosing, let’s don’t forget.”
“You sound just like the old man. I always pegged Colt as his clone, not you,” she said.
Chance ignored her comment, addressing Chase instead. “I’m heading up the mountain with Johnny Mac at first light. Cody and Colt and the guys will be finishing up inoculations. I need you to meet with the contractor in the morning. Kerry’s got the plans but I want one of us there to make sure she doesn’t go overboard with this remodeling stuff.”
“Shouldn’t Cody handle that? I mean, he’s sweet on her and all.”
“That’s exactly why he shouldn’t. She’s got him wrapped around her finger as it is. Money is—” he paused, glancing at Carson, “well, you know the budget. I just need you to handle this.”
It finally made sense to Carson. Kerry needed an ally and Cody fit the bill. Chance wasn’t crazy about the idea, that much she could tell. Colt? It was his idea to begin with. That’s why she needed Cody. Smart.
“I’ll take care of it,” he said. “Me and Car,” he added. “You and Johnny Mac going up the trail?”
“Yeah. We’ll go as far as the first pass. If the snow’s gone, we’ll head up with the herd in about a week.”
He left them without another word and Carson grinned. “Johnny Mac? God, is he still around?”
“Where’s he gonna go? He’s been working here since he was a boy.”
“How old is he?”
“Sixty-two. But nothing’s changed. He still keeps to himself in his cabin and comes by for Sunday dinner, that’s it. He spends a couple of hours with the old man on Sundays. They’ve known each other their whole lives.”
Carson leaned forward, her voice low. “Chance has changed. He’s so serious. Does he ever smile?”
He shook his head. “He’s all business now, even before the old man got sick. I think it goes all the way back to when he and Marla broke up.”
“So if the ranch is losing money, how are you going to afford to pay the consultant?”
“Don’t know. Chance keeps the books.”
“And none of you check his work? You don’t think he’s been embezzling, do you?”
Chase laughed. “God, no. He loves this place. If the ranch failed and we had to sell, then where would we be?”
“True. I sure hope this guest ranch thing works out. That’s a lot of money to fork out on hoping you get some customers. Is there a plan B?”
“I’m not even sure plan A is finalized,” he said. “Maybe if you stick around for a while, you could help with this conversion.”
“No, no. Chance has made it clear that I’m to have nothing to do with the ranch. Hell, the old man even reminded me of that.” She finished her drink and slid the empty glass along the desk top toward him. “This is your deal. I’ll just sit back and watch.” She grinned. “The view is pretty spectacular,” she said with a teasing wiggle of her eyebrows.
“So you’re going to amuse yourself by playing with the consultant?”
“Maybe. It could be fun.”
“Don’t do anything stupid, Car. Cody is already challenged when it comes to the ladies.”
“Yeah? Does he still have a complex from high school?”
“Probably.”
“And what about you, little brother? You going to live your life alone out here on the ranch?” She was surprised by the light blush that crossed his face. He stared into his glass, his expression thoughtful.
“Being alone is not all bad,” he said. He looked up. “Right?”
She shrugged. “I haven’t known anything else.”
“There’s no one special in your life?”
“I have a handful of close friends. There’s a woman who took me in all those years ago. She’s been my family.”
“Lover?”
Carson smiled and shook her head. “No. Rebecca and I have never been lovers. Big sister.” She met his eyes. “I’ve had a lot of lovers. But love?” She shook her head. “Love is painful. I wanted no part of that.”
“You can’t equate your pain from your childhood to that of a lover, Car. Two different things.”
“Love is love. I had my heart ripped out just the same.”
Chapter Ten
Kerry paced, her hands clasped together behind her back, her patience running thin as she waited for one of the brothers to show up. She let out an impatient breath.
“Let’s start without them,” she finally said. She held up the printout of the new bunkhouse plans and showed them to the contractor. “I’m assuming you’ll want this electronically, but I thought it’d be easier to walk through the plans this way.”
“Now we’re not some fancy construction company from the city, miss. Old-fashioned blueprints will do the trick,” he said.
She smiled. “Not exactly blueprints,” she said. “The structure will remain intact. We’re just gutting the inside and remodeling. There will be some plumbing involved, of course, but it’s nothing too elaborate.”
“My guys can do pretty much anything. Work is hard to come by these days. Not going to turn down a job.”
Kerry looked up at the approaching truck, surprised that Chase Cartwright was accompanied by his sister this morning. Kerry made a point of looking at her watch as they walked over. They were twenty minutes late.
“Sorry. We got tied up,” Carson said.
“Yes, I imagine traffic was heavy during this morning’s rush hour,” she said without thinking, but Carson laughed good-naturedly.
“I’m not used to keeping such early hours,” she said. “At least, not at this end of the clock,” she added with a wink.
Kerry wanted to ignore her but a smile lit her face before she could stop it. She glanced at Chase. “So you’re in charge of the bunkhouse?”
“Apparently so. Chance is checking out the trail to the summer pastures. The guys are still working the herd,” he said.
“Well, you’ve already seen the plans. I was just telling Mr. Burris here that we don’t want anything extravagant
. I would like to stick to a more rustic look. If your guests want fancy, they could stay in the city at a five-star hotel. What they’re looking for is authentic ranch life. They want to be taken away to another time, where the pace is slow.” She paused, knowing she was giving a sales pitch. “Besides, when you’re on a budget, rustic is easier to do.” She glanced at Mr. Burris. “Right?”
“Oh, sure. We can do rough, unfinished lumber. You said you wanted the interior to look like logs. We can also put planks down for flooring. That’d really be rustic,” he said.
“Planks? Seriously?” Carson said. She glanced at Chase. “You’ve got to draw the line at planks.”
Kerry nodded. “I agree. We’ll discuss flooring later.” She pointed to the now sparingly used bunkhouse. The few seasonal cowboys they’d hired this year would be moving out with the herd. “Shall we take a tour?”
“After you, ma’am.”
The four of them went into the bunkhouse, the original construction having taken place some seventy years prior. It had been added on to over time but the central room—a lounge of sorts—dominated. There was a large kitchen adjacent to it, and she’d been told the cowboys usually fended for themselves at dinner. Lunch was provided by Martha. Back in the day, when the ranch housed ten or more cowboys for most of the year, they hired a cook to oversee the meals. Now, since the brothers did most of the day-to-day work, they hired mostly seasonal. Cody said they stock the pantry and fridge each year and leave the cooking to the boys themselves.
“I’d forgotten how massive this fireplace was,” Carson said as she moved closer to inspect it.
“It’ll look great in promotional photos,” Kerry said. “And quite functional for the fall cattle drive. Imagine coming back inside to a roaring fire after being out in the cold,” she mused.
“I’m still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that you’re going to have untested laymen trailing the cattle,” Carson said.
Kerry glanced at Chase, hoping for a little support. She and the brothers had been over this countless times, and it seemed to be the biggest hang-up for them.