by Gerri Hill
“Ginger,” Kerry said. “And she’s very gentle.”
“Well, I can take you out next time,” Cody said again and Carson just shrugged.
Kerry didn’t argue, but she had no intention of going anywhere with Cody. Again, it was Chase who intervened and Kerry suspected Carson must have told him about them.
“Come on, bro. We need a shower. We stink,” he said. “I’m sure these ladies would appreciate that.”
Kerry thought Cody would refuse, but, after sending Carson a threatening glance, he followed Chase. “I guess I’ll see you back at the house then,” he said as he turned to go.
Kerry felt Carson’s eyes on her and she turned to her once the guys were up the path and away from them.
“Are you okay?”
Kerry shook her head. “He’s so...so angry,” she said.
Carson’s eyebrows shot up. “You told him?”
“No. That’s just it. He’s angry at the possibility of it, I guess. Like he can sense something.”
Carson reached for her, pulling her close. “Come here,” she murmured, holding Kerry tight against her.
Kerry sunk into her body, her arms sliding around Carson’s slender waist. She so wished they were still alone, wished they didn’t have to hide. Part of her just wanted to run away with Carson and say to hell with the ranch, the conversion and the damn contract. But not exactly the most practical thing to do when starting your own business. But she hadn’t counted on falling in love, certainly not with a woman.
“I want to tell him,” she said. “I want to tell them all.” She lifted her head. “If they void the contract, then they do, but I can’t continue to do this.”
“What did he do?”
“He tried to kiss me.” Carson’s jaw clenched, and Kerry smiled at Carson’s obvious annoyance with her brother. “I managed to avoid it, but it’s only going to escalate. I doubt my excuse of ‘I’m not attracted to you’ will work.”
“He tried to kiss you?”
This time Kerry did laugh, seeing the fire of jealousy in Carson’s eyes. “Carson, even if this thing between us hadn’t happened, I still wouldn’t be interested in Cody.”
Carson relaxed and smiled. “No. That’s because he’s a guy.”
Kerry let her fingers entwine with Carson’s, holding hers tightly. “Does it bother you?” she asked. “That I haven’t been with a woman before,” she clarified.
“No. I just want you to be sure. And I know that’s a lot to ask,” she said. “How can you be sure? You’ve always dated men.”
“Yes. But no matter what happens between you and me, I’ve at least realized that I’ve been dating the wrong gender,” she said. She released Carson’s hand, her fingers sliding up her arm to her shoulder, then across her chest, just brushing against her breasts. She heard Carson’s surprised gasp, and it was enough to stir her desire. Kerry pushed into her, holding her against the wall, her lips moving up her neck, feeling Carson’s rapid pulse beating. She moaned as her teeth nipped at her skin, feeling the power she had over Carson at that moment. Her hands were driving Carson wild, her lips and mouth making Carson squirm. And Kerry loved it.
“Kerry, we should maybe—”
“Shh,” Kerry silenced her with her mouth, kissing her firmly, letting her know she had no intention of stopping. She should stop, of course. They shouldn’t be doing this, not here. But Kerry’s want and need won out, and she didn’t mind saying the words out loud. “I want you.”
Again, a gasp from Carson and then her hands were pulling Kerry closer, not pushing her away. Kerry stilled Carson’s hands, firmly holding them at her side, meeting her eyes, seeing her desire mirrored there. Both their chests were heaving, trying to draw breath. “I want you,” Kerry whispered again. She didn’t wait for a reply. Her mouth found Carson’s, her hands tugged Carson’s shirt from her jeans, touching skin, her fingers moving across soft flesh, then she impatiently pushed her bra aside, cupping both her breasts.
“Kerry,” Carson murmured, her body arching against Kerry’s.
Kerry dipped her head, holding Carson’s shirt and bra up as her lips closed around a nipple. She suckled it softly, then tugged at it, her teeth scraping against it. She heard Carson groan, and she let herself be pulled roughly against Carson as their bodies pressed together.
Their breathing was labored, the sound loud in the empty bunkhouse. She went back to Carson’s mouth as her hands went to Carson’s jeans, her fingers unbuttoning them quickly. She didn’t hesitate as she slipped her hand inside. She wanted her. She wanted her like this—hard and fast. Carson was wet, ready for her. She shoved two fingers inside her, feeling Carson close around her. She pulled out, adding a third finger, relishing the loud moans coming from Carson. She used her hips to drive her fingers deeper into Carson, her mouth resting against Carson’s neck as she struggled to breathe.
It was all still fresh and new—this want. She knew that whatever she needed, Carson would give her. Carson wouldn’t say no. She wanted it just as badly. Her moans, the desperate grip she had on Kerry, told her as much.
“God, Kerry,” Carson panted.
“Yes,” Kerry whispered, saying the word that would answer any unasked questions, the word that would tell Carson she would agree to anything at that moment.
Carson’s fingers dug almost painfully into her shoulders and Kerry drove her fingers deeper, harder, inside her. She used her thumb to graze her clit, stroking it with each thrust. Carson was close, her hips moving wildly with Kerry’s. Kerry ignored the throbbing ache between her own legs as she brought Carson closer to orgasm.
“Let go,” Kerry murmured, her lips moving to Carson’s ear, her tongue snaking inside. “Let go,” she said again, her fingers curling deliciously inside her, feeling Carson heed her command as her orgasm claimed her.
“God,” Carson groaned, her body shuddering against Kerry, her wetness soaking her hand.
Kerry’s fingers slipped out of her and she wrapped her arms around Carson’s waist, resting against her, trying to catch her breath. But Carson didn’t let her rest. In one motion, she unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down, sliding her panties with them. Carson fell to her knees in front of Kerry and Kerry gasped when she felt Carson’s breath on her damp thighs. Carson cupped her hips, bringing her forward to her waiting mouth.
“Jesus...Carson.” Kerry braced herself against the wall as Carson shoved her legs farther apart. “Carson,” she moaned when she felt Carson’s tongue stroking her. Her hips rocked against Carson’s face, increasing the friction between them. Then Carson’s lips closed over her clit, sucking it into her mouth like her nipple. Kerry groaned loudly, the wet sucking sounds driving her over the edge quickly. She bit her lip to keep from screaming out.
Her gaze was unfocused as she looked at Carson, still on her knees, her mouth still buried against her. Kerry touched her hair, bringing Carson up. She kissed her, slower now, her need sated for the time being. They leaned together, their skin damp with sweat from their exertion, their breath slowly returning to normal.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “I—”
“I know,” Carson murmured. “I wanted that too.”
Kerry tucked her face against Carson’s neck, feeling her pulse finally slowing. She rubbed the spot with her tongue, then sighed.
“Can we stay like this forever?”
She felt Carson smile, felt her lips kiss her hair, felt her arms tighten against her.
“Yes. I’d like that very much.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Clouds were building to the west and Kerry assumed Martha’s forecast of a storm was coming true. Her gaze turned back to the road, no longer able to see their trucks. They had left for their father’s service and burial. She’d never met the man and didn’t feel she had a place at the service, despite Cody’s offer that she could accompany them. That alone made her decline, but Carson had already told her she shouldn’t feel any obligation to attend.
She let out a
deep breath as she leaned against the railing, her eyes again going to the thick clouds making their way across the valley. Dinner last night had been a tedious affair, and she wasn’t sure how many more she could take. Cody sat next to her, of course, but Carson had been across the table and they’d found their eyes meeting often. Chase had tried to keep the conversation light and impersonal and Kerry was thankful. Even Colt seemed to sense the tension and made an effort to keep the conversation friendly, taking them down memory lane as he recanted tales from their younger years.
Inevitably, the conversation turned to Carson and her exploits, and before long, Angie Bonner’s name was mentioned, causing the brothers to roar with laughter as Colt told the story of Cody catching Carson in the hayloft with his girlfriend. Kerry managed to contain her laughter, having heard the story from Carson in a very different context. Cody did not find any humor in it, his face red with anger and perhaps embarrassment. It was then that Kerry wished she could run and hide.
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Cody told her. “She uses people for whatever suits her. That’s why you need to stay away from her. You can’t trust her.”
“Come on, Cody. That was a long time ago,” Chase reasoned.
“And you think she’s changed?” Cody stared across the table at Carson. “Was it fun for you? Seducing Angie? You probably scarred her for life.”
“You think I seduced her? I was sixteen. What did I know about it?”
“You obviously knew enough,” Cody said loudly. “I can’t believe you forced yourself on her like that.”
Carson laughed then, and Kerry knew she’d taken all she was going to. Kerry’s gaze focused on Chase, not Carson, as she silently asked him to intervene.
“I didn’t force her, Cody. She begged me. The first time was just a quickie behind the stables, but it was enough for her to know I could give her what you obviously couldn’t,” Carson said.
Kerry leaned away from Cody as she could literally feel the heat of his anger.
“The first time?” he asked, his voice tense.
There was silence around the table as all eyes went to Carson. Kerry realized Carson was completely unfazed by it all as her lips twitched in a smile.
“What? You think the day you caught us in the hayloft was the only time?”
Cody stood so quickly, he knocked his chair down. “You goddamn bitch,” he spat. “I should—”
“Sit down,” Chance yelled as he got to his feet. “Sit down and shut up. Our father just died and this is what we do? Have a family argument? That was fifteen years ago, Cody. Get over it.”
But Cody didn’t sit down. He glanced quickly at Kerry, then turned and stormed from the room, leaving behind only silence. Colt was the one to finally break it.
“That was awkward.”
“Kinda funny though,” Chase said with a short laugh.
“Quit baiting him,” Chance said to Carson.
“Me? I didn’t bring it up.”
Chance had turned to Kerry then. “I’m sorry you had to witness all that,” he said, his apology sincere.
After dinner, Kerry had escaped to the kitchen to help Martha clean up despite her protests. There was simply too much tension, and she didn’t want to join them in their father’s study for drinks.
She’d gone to bed before the others, never seeing Cody again. She went to sleep hoping Carson would wake her when she came up. It was the early morning hours before Kerry stirred, pleasantly surprised to find a warm body wrapped around hers. Carson was sleeping soundly and Kerry only snuggled closer to her warmth. When she woke later, she was alone and wondered if she’d dreamed it all. But she’d rolled over, clutching the pillow to her, smelling Carson’s unique scent and knew it had been no dream.
The midday sun was now overhead, blue sky still dominating, at least for a few more hours. Mr. Hanes had called earlier, letting the brothers know he was on his way with their father’s body. The service would be short, Carson had said, with no one in attendance except them and perhaps Johnny Mac. They would bury him close to their mother in a spot their father had picked out years ago. It would be Carson’s first visit to the family plot since the day of her mother’s funeral.
That was another reason she had declined to attend. She didn’t know how Carson would handle it, and Kerry knew if Carson got emotional, if she cried, then Kerry would want to comfort her and the ease with which Carson would slip into her arms would surely give away their secret. She could only imagine another scene like the one last night.
“Are you okay, Miss Kerry?”
Kerry turned, finding Martha watching her. She nodded, then accepted the glass of iced tea Martha held.
“Thank you. And yes, I’m fine.”
“Have you talked to Cody yet?”
“No. And after last night’s episode at dinner, I don’t think we will,” she said. She took a sip of tea, meeting Martha’s eyes questioningly. “This thing with me and Carson, you don’t seem bothered by it,” she said. “I’m surprised.”
“Why? Because I’m a simple woman from a tiny town in the middle of nowhere?”
Kerry smiled. “Something like that, yes.”
“I found out the hard way how short life can be,” Martha said. “I lost my husband and my only child one night in a storm. They hit a tree. They were killed instantly. I never looked for love again after that.” She shrugged. “I’ve been living here, taking care of the boys since they lost their own mother. The first few years, I worked just to try to forget,” she said. “I never thought I’d make this my home. But I think you were right when you suspected they weren’t all close. I think they just pretended sometimes. There hasn’t been any love here. Not really. Not until recently,” she said with a smile. “I hope I’m not out of line to say this, but when you and Miss Carson look at each other, I see so much love. It just fills the room around you.”
Kerry reached over and squeezed her arm. “Thank you. And no, you’re not out of line,” she said quietly. “Like I told you before, this is new for me. Not just the fact that Carson is a woman, but...well—”
“Being in love?” Martha guessed.
Kerry felt a blush cross her face as she looked away. “Yes. Being in love is new too.”
“Honey, don’t shy away from it. Grab it and hold on to it. It can be taken away so quickly sometimes.”
Kerry squeezed her arm again. “I’m sorry about your family.”
“It was a late spring storm, full of wind and lightning and cold rain,” Martha said. “Probably much like the one we’ll have tonight. Every time a storm blows in, I think of the accident. I think of what could have been. My Beverly was only sixteen. She had her whole life in front of her.” She sighed. “But accidents happen, don’t they.”
Kerry watched Martha’s eyes swimming in sadness, but the older woman forced a smile to her face anyway. Kerry returned it with a slight nod as Martha turned and left her. Kerry let her gaze slip back to the valley, then to the sky where the clouds were continuing to build. Off in the distance, she heard the first faint rumble of thunder.
Carson stared across at the somber faces of her brothers. Somber, yes, but not riddled with grief. Not like when their mother died. She wondered what Mr. Hanes thought of the whole thing. Here they were, five siblings and Johnny Mac, her father’s oldest friend—and hired hand—standing around a casket that cost a small fortune, waiting for someone to speak a few words.
Chance finally cleared his throat, his hands nervously twisting his cowboy hat around.
“Our father died right where he was born—here at the ranch. I think we’re all sorry to see him pass, but thankful his fight is over.” He looked up, his gaze fixed on Carson. “He had regrets, I’m sure,” he said. “He was a proud man, never one to admit his mistakes.”
Carson nodded, surprised to feel her eyes damp. Not because of her father, but just for the fact that Chance had acknowledged the rift between them.
“He joins our beloved mother,” he c
ontinued and Carson looked at her grave for the first time, seeing the beautiful headstone but unable to read the words there. She squeezed her eyes shut, wishing Kerry were there beside her. Kerry would hold her hand tightly, would keep her grounded. Instead, she linked her own hands together, squeezing her fingers until they hurt.
“He joins his parents and his brother and his grandparents. All of them worked this land at some time, worked it just as we work it today,” Chance said. “Because of them, this is ours.” He looked up and Carson was surprised at the hint of a smile on his face. “For better or worse,” he finished in a murmur and Colt joined him in a quiet laugh. Chase, too, looked amused. Cody, however, stood off by himself, his face expressionless.
Chance put his hat back on, signaling the end. “May they all rest in peace.” He glanced at the crew standing discreetly away from them. “Thank you, Mr. Hanes,” he said with a nod. He headed to his truck and Colt and Cody followed. Johnny Mac lingered a second longer, then he too turned to go.
Carson felt Chase come up beside her and he took her hand. “Come on. Let’s go see her.”
Carson nodded, letting Chase lead her the short distance to her mother’s grave. She realized then how haphazardly their family cemetery was laid out.
“Why isn’t he buried closer to her?”
“He would have had to cut through the roots of that spruce tree. The old man planted that tree after mom died. You know how much she liked spruce.”
“Yeah. I remember. She planted enough of them around the house.”
“He picked this spot out himself,” Chase said. “It’s creepy.”
“What?”
“Picking out a spot to be buried.”
Carson smiled. “Yeah. Where’s your spot?”
Chase laughed. “Not here. I’ve been stuck on this ranch long enough. When I find my little slice of heaven, I think I want to be cremated and, you know, scattered.”
Carson leaned closer, resting her head on his shoulder. “There were no tears, Chase. Not a one. What’s up with that?”
“Some things you just can’t fake.”