by Amity Hope
Pure Redemption
By
Amity Hope
If you enjoy Pure Redemption, you can find Amity Hope and her future works listed on her Facebook author page.
Or you can find her at: http://authoramityhope.blogspot.com
Prologue
Hot tears streamed down her face as Ava jolted herself awake. She had lost track of how many nights in a row she had been enmeshed in the nightmare. Only it wasn’t a nightmare. It was worse. It was a memory.
She clutched the pillow her face was buried in. It was the pillow that Gabe had used, the one that no longer held his scent. It had been almost a month since the horrendous day that he had sacrificed himself to save her.
She saw him everywhere. When she was asleep. When she was awake. Sometimes it was a flash of his golden hair turning the corner a block ahead of her on a busy street. Sometimes it was his face bloodied, lip split and eye blackened as it was the moment they first met. If she was lucky, it was his face, pure and sweet as he leaned over to kiss her for the first time, the night under the stars. If she wasn’t lucky, and most of the time, luck was not on her side…her dreams were filled with demons and fire and hell.
Ava released the pillow and sat up in her bed, trying to shake the memory away into the darkness. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to push away the tears and the vision that continued to torment her. When she opened them, her eyes were still blurry. They must be blurry, she decided, because for just a moment she was sure she had seen someone in the window. It had been just a silhouette, a shape, a shadow of someone. She leapt to her feet and hurried across the hardwood floor of her small bedroom.
She looked out into the night, barely lit with the ghostly glow of the moon. The lawn appeared to be empty. The lake shimmered like mystical water in a black cauldron. As for the forest beyond, who knew? She swallowed down the painful lump in her throat and forced herself back to bed.
These nightmares had plagued her for weeks now. They were part of the reason she had insisted on moving out of her parents’ house and into her cabin. She couldn’t always stifle her screams of terror. Sometimes, she couldn’t stifle her tears and she did not want her parents to see her this way.
She burrowed back under the covers and reached for the pillow again. She inhaled deeply, hoping for even the faintest remnant of Gabe’s scent. She thought she detected it and she let out a sigh. Whether it still held even a little part of him or whether she had imagined that too, she really didn’t know.
She closed her eyes and let Gabe’s words whisper through her mind…
I promise to love you forever…
Chapter 1
“You look awful,” Molly bluntly informed Ava. Either she or Julia had been stopping by to visit her almost daily but it took some major begging and pleading to get her to leave the house for something other than work. It was only now, sitting in the natural sunlight that Molly realized just how ill her friend looked. “And you know I say that with all of the love in the world.”
“What she means,” Julia said, giving Molly a scorching glare, “is that you should eat this.” She slid the plate with the chicken salad sandwich closer to Ava. Both she and Molly were done with their lunches but Ava had barely touched hers. They were both relieved that she had at least eaten all of her fruit but Julia was determined to see her eat something more substantial.
Ava slid the plate away again, not even bothering to look at it. “I’m not hungry,” she said with an apologetic shrug. “I’d eat if I was but I’m not.”
“Ava,” Julia said softly, “at this point it doesn’t matter if you feel hungry or not. You need to eat something. Your clothes are just about falling off of you.”
Ava knew she was right. Yet it was hard to eat with a permanent lump of dread, fear and sorrow taking up so much space in her stomach. It simply felt as if there was no room left for food.
“If you don’t eat,” Julia continued as her tone turned into the lecturing voice both of her friends were all too familiar with, “your body is going to start to devour itself.”
“Eww, Julia,” Molly grumbled.
“It’s true. It’s going to start eating up its muscle mass. If you don’t start eating, it could be bad. Very, very bad. You can suffer from vitamin and mineral deficiencies, which can lead to problems with your immune system and—”
“And there she goes,” Molly cut in. Then she turned to Ava, her voice pleading. “Take a bite so she’ll stop.” She slid Ava’s plate back to her yet again.
Ava complied. Barely. She took a small bite of her sandwich, taking an excessively long time to chew it while both of her friends watched.
“And you need sleep,” Molly ordered. “I know you’re trying to hide it with concealer but it’s not working.”
“A lack of sleep can cause all sorts of problems. It can also contribute to depression and I really don’t think you need that right now,” Julia calmly stated.
“I try to sleep. It’s not my fault I can’t,” Ava glumly replied after she swallowed. She settled back in the wicker chair while she fidgeted with the straw in her lemonade. She could feel the concerned gazes of her two best friends spilling over her. Not wanting to meet the looks of concern head on, she let her eyes dart around Bella’s.
The patio was surrounded by a tall, white, ivy-covered fence. It provided privacy from the people walking along the sidewalk. The patio furniture was all wicker with glass-topped tables. An enormous umbrella kept the worst of the sun’s rays at bay.
Bella’s was one of her favorite restaurants, in part because she had always found the atmosphere to be so relaxing. It was why her friends had brought her here. They were trying to pull her from the depressed haze she’d been in.
“Have you…” Julia began quietly but then building her resolve she continued. “Have you heard from Gabe?” But then, because she had been led to believe that Gabe was suffering from some fatal affliction, she made a quick amendment. “Or his family? Has his family contacted you?”
Ava gave her friend a smile that Julia knew wasn’t a smile at all. It was nothing more than a forced upturning of the lips, a failed attempt at appearing unmoved by the question.
“No,” Ava said quietly. She wondered to herself, yet again, why she didn’t just tell them he was gone. Not just gone as in left the country, but gone as in left the earth. But she couldn’t get herself to say the words. Not even when she knew her friends would be there to support her every painful step of the way.
“It’s funny…” Molly admitted, with a nervous, mirthless laugh. She then shook her head, as if thinking better of whatever it was she was going to say.
“What?” Ava asked. Noting the sudden dark look that rolled over Julia’s features, she asked again, demanding this time as she leaned forward in her chair. Her body had become tense because the look her friends had shared let her know that something was clearly up. “What? Tell me.”
Molly tapped her lips with her pointer finger, a sure sign that she was mulling something over. She shook her head. “Actually it’s not funny at all, it’s just…peculiar. But…I thought I saw Gabe the other day. I know,” she hurried to add as Julia let out a resigned sigh, “ridiculous, right?”
It should be ridiculous. But Ava’s mind was suddenly spinning out of control, flooded with memories.
Flashes of Gabe’s face, bloody and beaten…Gabe’s face full of so much love for her… Gabe’s face lifeless, his eyes blank and glazing over…And then a glimpse of his face, through a crowd, a flash of that golden blond hair. But that hadn’t been him. Because it couldn’t be him. Right? She had convinced herself of that. It was her mind, her hope, her head playing tricks on her. Because she wanted to see
him more than she wanted anything else.
But her friends? They had no reason to imagine him.
“Ava? Ava?” Julia reached over and took the glass of lemonade from her friend’s hand. It had begun shaking so badly they could hear the ice clanking against the side of the glass. “Molly!” Julia hissed. “We talked about this!”
“It’s probably just someone that looks like him. This guy, his hair was longer and…messy. And not in that sexy, ‘I spent forever and half a bottle of product to get my hair to look like this’ kind of way. I mean, Gabe struck me as a little too vain to leave the house looking so disheveled.” Julia kicked her under the table and Molly muttered, “Sorry, but you know what I mean. And he was thin. Not all hunky and hot like Gabe.”
“And his eyes…” Ava noticed a slight tremor run through Julia before she continued. “They were so vacant. This guy, he looked right at us and at first, I was sure it was Gabe but then, he…he seemed to look right through us. And not in the way of someone you know that’s trying to ignore you and pretending not to see you. It was like he truly didn’t see us.”
“Where did you see him?” Ava asked. The note of desperation in her voice grated against her own ears.
Her friends looked at each other. Words, warnings, whole sentences and an argument silently passed between them in their silence.
“Where?” Ava demanded. The legs of the chair ground against the concrete patio as she leapt to her feet.
“Ava,” Julia said gently, “sit down. We’ll talk about this.”
“Tell me where you saw him?” Her voice was pleading, shaking and her friends knew as well as she did that she was on the verge of losing control.
“Down on the boardwalk,” Molly said softly, ignoring the look Julia gave her. “Both times.”
“Both?” Ava asked. The word left her body in a gush of air as her legs gave way and she fell back into her chair. “Both?” she whispered.
Julia shook her head. “I just saw him the one time. But,” she let out a resigned breath, “Molly was sure she saw him a few days ago. We decided it couldn’t have been him so we just let it go because she wasn’t sure.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked in disbelief. How could they keep this from her? They were her friends. Her best friends.
“Sweetie,” Julia said, reaching across the table to take her friend’s hand, “we didn’t think it was him. We still really, really doubt it was him. It seemed cruel,” she shot Molly a look, “to bring it up without knowing. I mean, if it was Gabe, you would’ve heard from him. If he was back in town, he would’ve called you. You know he would’ve called you.”
Ava shook her head. She didn’t know anything. Not anymore. Everything she had once thought she had known had been spun around, turned upside down and torn apart with all of the pieces scattering and never quite going back together again.
“It’s just, you should’ve told me,” Ava said quietly.
Molly leaned forward, shooting Julia a fierce look of her own. “We are telling you. This just happened yesterday. You were at work. Julia and I went to the beach. I would’ve told you last night—”
“But by the time you were getting off of work, my shift was starting,” Julia interjected, speaking of her job at the country club. “And I wanted to be here.” She squeezed Ava’s hand, which she still firmly held in her own. “I thought you might need us. Both of us. You know, just in case. But Ava, I’m having a hard time believing it was him.”
“I’ve seen him too,” Ava blurted. “I have!” she insisted when her friends shared a startled look. “I just…I thought I was crazy.” Because I saw him die. And he can’t be here. Because he’s dead. “I swear I saw him,” she said desperately, unaware that tears were beginning to spill from her eyes. She was desperate for her friends to believe her but even more desperate for it to be true.
“I have a theory on that,” Molly said, sadly.
Julia and Ava gave her twin looks of wariness.
“I, um, I don’t want to say it…But this guy? He didn’t look well. We mentioned how thin he was. But it wasn’t just that. He was gaunt. His cheekbones were so sharp they looked like they were ready to cut through his skin. He was so pale. And he had these shadows under his eyes. Only,” she paused, unhappily noting the way Ava’s lip was trembling, “they were worse than shadows. They were so dark they almost looked like bruises. Ava, whoever this person is, he does not look well.”
“This person? So we’re thinking it’s not Gabe?” Julia pressed.
“No,” Molly said in disagreement. “I do.”
“Then why hasn’t he contacted Ava?” Julia asked, exasperated.
“Oh, God, I didn’t want to say this,” Molly’s tone rippled with regret. She scrubbed her hands across her face before taking a deep breath and forging ahead. “What if it is Gabe and he came back to see you? I mean,” she said, noting that Julia was about to interrupt, “what if he’s only got so long to live and he just wanted to see you again? But maybe he thought it would be too hard for you to see him? I mean, Grier told us you said your goodbyes. So what if he’s here but that’s why you haven’t heard from him?”
There were so many things wrong with that theory but Ava couldn’t even begin to explain them in a logical fashion. She hadn’t asked Grier to plant the idea in their heads that Gabe was sick. That he was probably dying and had to be whisked away, out of the country. And while it had served its purpose at first, giving a logical reason for Ava’s overwhelming grief after his disappearance, it was complicating things now. He wasn’t suffering from an ailment. He had been snatched up by death and tossed into the fiery pit the moment he had impaled his own heart with the angelic blade.
Ava didn’t know how to begin to explain any of that. Considering the state of mind she’d been in, she’d expect her friends to think she was suffering from some type of mental breakdown where hallucinations and fanciful thoughts were a side-effect.
Julia shook her head, saving Ava from having to say anything. “I don’t think so. When he walked by yesterday, I said his name. He didn’t even look my way. I mean, if you hear your name you usually look, even if it’s reflexively but he didn’t even flinch. I mean, I could’ve called him Bob for all of the reaction I got from him. I just assumed it wasn’t him. I mean, it’s been nearly a month since I’ve seen him and really, I didn’t spend that much time with him.”
“A few days ago I was working. I was behind the counter and I looked up. There was a glare from the sun coming in through the window and all I really saw was his silhouette looking in. But he just looked so familiar. I thought he was looking at me. I, I left the person I was ringing up and I ran outside. By the time I made it around the counter and through the shop to the door, he was gone.” She blushed furiously at the memory. The customer she’d left had been flustered and none too happy with her hasty dash outside. She’d apologized profusely but she’d been so shaken she’d had a hard time completing the transaction. In the end, she’d given the customer the bag of handmade taffy and later paid for it herself.
Typically, Ava prided herself on her strong work ethic, at her ability to keep customers satisfied. She was infinitely grateful that her boss, Becky, had not been in the shop at the time. She was able to keep the embarrassing transgression to herself. She mentally sighed. Thinking she saw Gabe was bad enough, allowing it to interfere with her work was bordering on unacceptable.
Then there was the time she had been with her parents. They nearly had to force her out of the house because it was her birthday. They had been walking down a crowded street, toward her favorite restaurant. A glimpse of golden blond hair had caught her eye. She’d darted away, but the person had rounded a corner. By the time she’d reached the corner, no one with hair that color was in sight.
And then there were the other times…
“Maybe it was him,” she whispered. It couldn’t be possible. Or at least, it shouldn’t be possible. At the same time, nothing that happened those last f
ew days she’d had with Gabe should have been possible. And yet they had been. They had happened. She mindlessly began rubbing her fingers around the cross on her neck. The one that should have been lost to her forever and yet, inexplicably, it had been found.
“I need to go!” she said as she shot up from her chair yet again.
This time, each of her friends grabbed one of her wrists, anchoring her in place. Ava was oblivious to the curious glances of the other patrons.
“Please, sit down for a minute,” Julia soothingly requested.
Ava shook her head, already gently trying to pull away.
“We’ll make a deal with you,” Molly said diplomatically. “You sit down and eat every last bite and we’ll go to the boardwalk with you. After you eat,” Molly said as she pushed Ava’s plate back to her yet again. “I’ll even show you exactly where Julia and I were standing. Where he was walking. Which way he went. Whatever you want to know. As soon as you eat.”
With a look or resignation, Ava plopped back into her chair. For the first time in nearly a month, she ate a complete meal.
Chapter 2
Ava took one obnoxious last slurp of her lemonade to satisfy her friends before setting the empty glass down heavily on the table. “Done.”
They had been patiently waiting as Ava picked her way through her sandwich. Finally, she had been able to slide her empty plate to the side. She tried to ignore the fact that since she’d eaten so little lately she felt as if her stomach might explode. It didn’t matter. It was a small price to pay for the information she wanted. Since she knew Molly wasn’t going to budge until she’d eaten every last bite, she’d decided she’d better eat every last bite.
She scooted her chair back yet again. This time, her friends followed.
It seemed to take forever to pay their bills. Ava fidgeted as she waited in line, the last of the three to pay. She hurriedly threw down some money, told the cashier to give the waitress all of the change for her tip, didn’t say thank you as she normally would have, and took off once more.