by Amity Hope
“Can I get you anything else?” Ava asked as she slid her empty pie plate away. She’d had no appetite but it was obvious it made Gabe uncomfortable when she was just sitting there staring at him. She had eaten the pie, completely without tasting a thing, in an effort to help put him at ease.
He shook his head in answer to her question.
“When did you eat last?”
He gave her a guilty look, like a student being asked a simple question by a teacher. A question he knew he should know the answer to, but didn’t.
He shrugged. “I’m not sure.”
“Okay. Where have you been staying?”
“Staying?” he echoed.
Ava could almost see the question darting through his mind, looking for an answer, something to latch onto but finding nothing. Panic flashed across his features.
“It’s okay,” she assured him. She slid closer to him, placing a reassuring hand on his knee. Unlike in the church, he didn’t flinch at her touch. He simply frowned at it instead. “I’m going to help you figure this out.”
He let out a deep breath and seemed to expel some tension along with it. He nodded.
“What is the last thing you remember?”
He thought. He didn’t come up with much.
“I remember flashes of things. Walking along a lake. Walking through a town. There are just images, mostly. I feel like I can’t really hold on to them. They just…slip away. But then I remember the church. I was walking down the sidewalk and I looked up. I saw the steeple. Something…I feel like something pulled me there. A church is where people go to be saved, right?”
That was a multi-faceted question so Ava nodded. “Right.”
He looked relieved at her answer. “I went in and that’s when I found you.” He shrugged, indicating he knew it wasn’t much but that she knew the rest. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You didn’t scare me. I was surprised, that’s all,” she assured him. Tears were threatening but mostly, she was too deeply entrenched in shock to let them take over.
“So, you know me?” he pressed. At least now he didn’t look so mistrustful. If anything he simply seemed curious.
She nodded and slid her chair back. “Come with me,” she requested.
He followed her into the living room. She sat on the couch, he sat next to her.
“These are yours,” she told him as she placed her hand on the black leather jacket. She had placed it on the coffee table while he was showering. “This,” she said, tapping the jacket, “and this,” she said as she slid his wallet out of the pocket. “You left them here the last time I saw you.”
Whether he’d left them because his mind was flooded with other things that day or whether he’d left it on purpose, knowing he would no longer need them, she might never know.
“I’ve been here before?” he asked. His brow crinkled as he looked around.
Ava’s eyes scoured his features, searching for even a flicker of recognition. There was none. His gaze returned to her. It was almost apologetic.
“Here,” she said as she handed him the wallet. It was black leather and surprisingly battered.
He opened it, frowning as he realized that it was bulging with money. He flipped through the bills but didn’t remove them as he flicked a questioning glance toward Ava.
She shrugged helplessly, entirely unsure how to explain any of it to him.
There were a handful of credit cards. He plucked them out and flipped through them. What really caught his interest was his driver’s license. He studied the picture. “It looks like me,” he admitted, “but also not.”
Ava rolled her lower lip through her teeth, giving him a few more moments to mull things over. “Picture yourself with your face a little more filled out. It is you,” she quietly assured him.
He slid the credit cards back into their slots and placed the wallet on the table, all the while seemingly unable to tear his gaze from the license. After minutes that felt like hours Ava interrupted his concentration. “There’s one more thing in the wallet.”
He gave her a curious glance as he reached for the wallet once again. He immediately noticed a pocket he hadn’t looked in. His fingers retrieved the photo. Ava’s eyes never left his face. He held it up.
“Us?” he asked, frowning yet again.
Ava’s heart squeezed in her chest, causing a deep ache.
She nodded. It was a shot of the two of them from some distance. From what Gabe had admitted to her, she could only assume that it had been taken as some sort of surveillance shot. Despite that, or maybe because of it, there was something very genuine about the picture. She and Gabe were strolling down the boardwalk, hand in hand. His head was cocked to the side. He was leaning down slightly as if he were saying something. She was smiling up at him, listening intently.
“Okay, so you do know me,” Gabe finally relented.
“You still don’t know me?” Ava quietly wondered. She couldn’t decide if he sounded relieved or simply indifferent that she was someone from his past. She had hoped the picture, if nothing else, would trigger something. “Does any of this look familiar?”
He’d slid the license back into place and was now gazing at the photo. He finally looked back up at her, hesitated, and then shook his head as he looked around again. “No. Nothing,” he said sounding, for the first time, very frustrated.
Ava glanced at the clock. It wasn’t all that late but never in her life had she seen someone who looked so utterly exhausted. After she’d suffered through so many sleepless nights, plagued with nightmares and heartache she herself was familiar with intense exhaustion. It could be debilitating. She knew.
Just ask Julia.
Furthermore, if he didn’t remember, she did not know how she was ever going to go about explaining it to him. What if he didn’t believe her? What if he thought she was out of her mind? What if he left because he didn’t believe her? She couldn’t deal with that yet. Probably not ever.
“I think you need to get some rest,” she suggested. “You look exhausted.”
He didn’t disagree.
“Maybe sleep will help clear your head. Maybe in the morning…” she faded off.
Gabe nodded and slowly stood. “Okay.” His eyes darted to the door.
“No,” Ava said firmly as she latched her hand around his. “You’re not going anywhere.” Her eyes were wide, fearful. What was she going to do if he refused to stay? She couldn’t physically stop him.
She would have to follow him.
“Oh. No,” he shook his head. “Thanks for dinner. And everything else. But I couldn’t—”
“You are,” she firmly informed him, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. “I lost you once. There is no way I’m going to lose you again.”
He hesitated, studying her face. “We were friends?”
Ava hadn’t realized he still held the picture in his free hand.
She squeezed the one she was holding as he held the picture up in his other, searching yet again for some answers.
“More than friends.”
He simply nodded.
“The bedroom is this way,” she said as she tugged him forward.
Even though he followed he began to shake his head.
“I’ll sleep on the couch,” Ava told him. “It makes more sense. You’d never fit on it.”
“No,” he said adamantly. “You’re not giving up your bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.” He gave her a sardonic, familiar smile, the first one she’d seen. “It’s got to be better than wherever I’ve been sleeping, right?”
Ava forced a smile in return. “Probably. But that’s not the point. If you can’t remember where you slept last and you’re still losing pieces of time, I’m worried that you’re going to wake up and just walk out. At least if you sleep in the bedroom I’ll hear you walk past me. Please,” she coaxed, “letting me sleep on the couch would be a huge favor to me.”
Besides, she was sure she wouldn’t be sleeping
much, if at all.
“You’re serious?” he asked, not looking entirely convinced.
“Completely,” she assured him.
He gave her a dubious look but finally relented.
“Gabe?” Ava called out as he disappeared into her bedroom. He stepped back out at the sound of her voice, a questioning look on his face. “Can I just…” she didn’t finish. Instead, she crashed into his chest, holding him so tightly his bones felt as though they may burst through his skin.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I just thought you should know.”
After a few awkward, silent, moments, he held her back.
Ava wondered how something could possibly feel so familiar and yet so alien at the same time.
***
Hours later, she was still awake. She was not a heavy sleeper but that didn’t stop her from being terrified that she’d drift off long enough and deep enough for Gabe to slip by her. She had dozed a few times and had awakened with such a start her teeth had clattered. Convinced he had wandered out the front door in those few moments of dozing, she got up to check on him each time this happened.
The fourth time she tiptoed into the darkened room she listened to the sound of his breathing for several minutes. It calmed her to hear him, even if she couldn’t see him. She turned to tiptoe back out.
“Ava?” His voice floated through the darkness, causing her to jump. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” She was turning to come back to the bed when he flipped the bedside lamp on. “You can’t sleep.”
“No,” she agreed. She wondered if he was aware of each time she’d checked on him. “I keep thinking if I do, you’ll sneak by me.”
“I keep thinking that, too,” he admitted. Noting Ava’s concerned look he hurried on. “Not on purpose. But what you said earlier, about me losing pieces of time? I don’t know what I’ve been thinking, or if I’ve been thinking when that happens. What if I’m just on autopilot? What if I leave here and I end up not knowing where I am again? I feel like if I just stay awake, I won’t forget this stretch of time.”
“So you’re not sleeping either?”
He shook his head. “Not really.”
“Okay,” she said decisively, before she could over think the situation. “Scoot over.”
“What?” he asked, not budging but looking at her with wide, surprised eyes.
“Scoot over,” she repeated as she lifted the covers. He did as she instructed this time and she slid in beside him. “If we’re both worried you might be able to slip by me I can assure you I will wake up if you have to crawl over me. Oh, don’t look at me like that,” she said with a smirk. “This is not the first time we’ve slept in this bed together.”
“That sounds kind of scandalous,” he muttered.
Ava choked on a laugh. “It’s probably not what you’re thinking.”
“So I don’t have to worry about you taking advantage of me?” he demanded.
Ava was momentarily speechless at the very un-Gabelike comment that had come out of Gabe’s mouth. Then the corner of his lip quirked up and Ava started to laugh. “Was that a joke?”
“Not if it was a bad one,” he said, favoring her with a half-smile.
She turned off the light and tried to get comfortable a decent distance away from him. “I’ll only take advantage of you if you want me to,” Ava assured him, teasing him back.
He was quiet for a moment. “I’ll get back to you on that.”
In the darkness of the room she was left to wonder if that was a joke or if he meant it.
Chapter 6
He blinked himself awake, startled by the pressure against his side. It was a girl. It was a beautiful, warm, sweet smelling girl and it seemed that she had attached herself to him. And he was holding on to her just as tightly.
His memories of the night before came trickling back. He remembered going to bed, talking with Ava, eating while Ava anxiously watched him. He could remember riding in her car and how hard his heart was hammering each time she glanced at him. And to be honest, it seemed she had a hard time keeping her eyes off of him.
Before that, walking into the church and seeing her sitting at the altar. Her eyes were closed and words shot from his mouth before he could stop them. She had been so startled. An instant fear had settled over him because of the look that had crossed her face. And before that…walking into the church…coming down the sidewalk…letting the steeple guide him. The backward flow of memories stopped. And then there was…nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
His body tensed. He had not realized—until the moment Ava had asked—that he had no memory. He had no memory of not remembering. He clenched his teeth at the irony.
He glanced at her, sleeping beside him. Her head was on his shoulder. Her leg was thrown over his and her arm was around him. Her warm breath on his neck was causing a commotion within his body that he wasn’t quite sure how to deal with just yet. He gently tugged his arms free, trying to put some space between them but in her sleep, she just snuggled in again.
She’d told him his name was Gabe Castille. He was nineteen, almost twenty. His birthday was August thirty-first. He’d lived near Hunter Falls only since the start of the year. He’d met Ava in March. He’d disappeared near the end of May. These facts rattled around in his mind like an unfamiliar melody.
She knew him. At first he was inclined to not believe her. But then he realized that he had not even remembered his own name. It seemed a little ridiculous to argue that he couldn’t have ever known her—because he couldn’t imagine it being possible to forget her—if he didn’t even know, didn’t remember, himself.
But he didn’t know her now, not really.
The picture was irrefutable evidence that they had a past. The relief he had felt at the sight of it was immeasurable. The driver’s license corroborated some of what she’d told him, making him feel inclined to simply believe the rest of what she’d said.
Having her body draped over his felt indescribable. It was comforting and yet, at the same time, it felt wrong. While she may have known him at one time, she didn’t know him now. He didn’t know himself now. How could she? And would she want to be lying across a stranger?
Carefully, he tried to nudge her away. She made a small sound, almost a whimper and her grip on him tightened. Then her body jerked minutely and her eyes flew open.
“Gabe,” she said on what sounded like a sleepy sigh. She squirmed closer and squeezed him tightly. He reflexively tensed again as he wondered if she should be doing that. His reaction caused her to pull away. She was more awake now. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, sliding her hand out from where it had gotten itself tucked inside of his shirt. “You should’ve shoved me off,” she said, embarrassed.
“I tried,” Gabe admitted. “You just latched on tighter.”
She crinkled her face in embarrassment and nodded in understanding as she sat up, edging herself away from him.
“I’m sorry,” she said again. “It’s just…you can’t imagine how I feel having you back. I mean, back here. In Hunter Falls. I missed you so much,” she said through trembling lips.
He was startled by the sight of tears in her eyes. She turned her head. Her dark curtain of hair covered her face as he sat up as well. He struggled to think of something to say. Something to do. What was he supposed to do? he wondered. He had no idea. Had he made her cry?
“I shouldn’t have tried to push you off,” he said, feeling somewhat stupid for the comment.
She made a dismissive gesture with her hand. “No. It’s fine. I shouldn’t have been…” she sighed. “Oh my gosh. This is so…”
Awkward.
He wasn’t going to say it. He didn’t need to. Instead, he needed to say something else.
Before he could think of what, his stomach rumbled. He was surprised when Ava’s lips curled into a delicate smile.
“Hungry again.”
He nodded.
“Come on then,” she said. She motioned
with her head. “I’ll make some pancakes. I think I even have some chocolate chips left to put in them for you.”
He followed her out to the kitchen and she started pulling things out of the cupboards.
“Do you need help?” he asked as he gave everything a cautious once-over.
A small laugh erupted from her at the thought of Gabe trying to cook. “No. I’ve got it under control.”
“Then do you mind if I shower again?” he asked, somehow feeling as if he hadn’t gotten all of the grime removed the night before.
“No. Go ahead. I should have breakfast ready by the time you’re done. I put the extra clothes I brought home in the bathroom already. There’s a shelf behind the door. You’ll find them there. And anything else you’ll need,” she told him as she set a box of mix on the counter. “Maybe later I can take you shopping. We can get you a few necessities, something decent to wear.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Gabe said.
She walked over to him. “I want to.”
He nodded, turned to leave but stopped. “And then what?” he finally asked.
“What do you mean?”
“What…Where do I…I mean…”
“Gabe,” Ava said, grasping his hands in hers, “if you’re trying to ask where you’re going to go, you’re not going anywhere.”
“You’ve been too nice to me already,” he said as he slowly shook his head. “I can’t keep taking advantage of you.”
Her eyes grew wide and panicked. “No, it’s not like that! Please, promise you’ll stay. At least until we get things figured out.”
A part of him felt as though he should refuse. He really didn’t want to be a burden to her but he could tell by the look on her face that if he did refuse, that would hurt her. She had shown him nothing but kindness. But it was something else, something more than that, something he didn’t quite understand that made him realize that the very last thing he wanted was to hurt her. He couldn’t do it.
He realized that he didn’t really want to leave. And it had nothing to do with the fact that he had nowhere else to go.
He nodded. “Okay, I’ll stay. For a while.”