by Anna Durand
"Gone?" I stared at him like he'd spouted foreign phrases the way Iain did.
"Yeah," Ben said. "Told you, I'm leaving for my sister's wedding tomorrow. This was my last day."
Oh shit. I'd completely forgotten. Me and Iain alone for nine more days? I'd thought I'd have Ben as a buffer in the daytime, but now I'd have nothing and no one to keep me from giving in to my lust.
Willpower. I had willpower. What else did I need?
"You forgot," Ben said. "It's only two weeks, then I'll be back. Besides, Iain seems plenty strong enough to get the job done while I'm gone."
I felt Iain watching me even before I noticed it in my peripheral vision. Get the job done? Oh yeah, Iain could do that for sure.
"Better get going," Ben said, rising from his chair. "Got packing to finish."
After wishing Ben a fun trip and giving him a quick goodbye hug, I claimed the chair Ben had vacated. The seat was still warm. If Iain had sat here, I would've relished having his heat under my bottom. Ben had no such effect on me. No man other than Iain had ever affected this way.
Never mind that, I chastised myself. Yes, I had other matters to discuss with him.
I crossed my legs, angling them away from Iain where he sat on the swing, and folded my hands over my belly. "It's time you told me about that day."
Chapter Seven
Iain
That day. Rae wanted the truth, deserved the truth. I braced one ankle atop the other knee, striving for a serenity I didn't feel. Rae's nickname for me, the Unflappable Iain MacTaggart, described me well enough — but it discounted the deeply hidden parts of me. She'd glimpsed those parts, the things I'd learned to control and ignore, when I let my jealousy show today. If I wanted a future with her, I had to be honest about everything.
Could I show her the darkest parts of me? Would she understand and forgive?
I didn't deserve it, for certain. When I had asked my cousin Rory for help in tracking down Rae, he'd assured me everyone deserves a second chance. I'd believed him then, but now I wondered.
Small steps. I wouldn't throw everything at her at once. Giving the lass time to adjust to each revelation seemed the most prudent approach.
Oh aye, it was prudent. And revealing the whole picture to her little by little had nothing at all to do with fear.
Bloody liar.
I rubbed my eyes, and avoiding Rae's inquisitive gaze, I explained. "That day, when I arrived at my office three security guards were waiting for me. They'd dumped all my files into garbage bags. I asked what was going on, and one of the guards informed me I was to go with them to the president's office at once. The guards escorted me across campus to the office of the university president, but he wasn't the only one there. The dean of the humanities department, my superior, was there. And so was Conrad Bremner-Ashton, the father of your charming roommate."
Rae snorted. "Cecilia Bremner-Ashton, aka CeCe, aka the Wicked Witch of the Midwest."
I couldn't help smiling a little at Rae's statement. CeCe had been her roommate for the full ten months during which I'd known Rae. CeCe's family had owned the town of Nackington, Wisconsin, and the educational institution that bore its name. Nackington University had been founded by an Englishman who emigrated to America in the nineteenth century. That man could never have envisioned what would become of his brainchild. In the nineteen thirties, the Bremner-Ashton family had move into Nackington and taken over the town and the university thanks to the fortune they'd amassed as robber barons during the early decades of the twentieth century.
Conrad Bremner-Ashton had been the school's single largest donor during my time there. That fact, along with his shady connections and shadier business practices, had made Conrad the de facto leader of his unofficial mafia. No one dared cross the Bremner-Ashtons.
"I didn't realize at the time," I said, "how nefarious the Bremner-Ashtons were. I'd had little contact with them until that day. Conrad did the talking while President Schaech and Dean Milton sat by and watched. I was informed I would be deported by force unless I agreed to leave the country and never return. Conrad also threatened to punish you unless I complied."
Though I hesitated, Rae did not speak. I couldn't look at her, not yet, or I'd never finish the story.
"I didn't want to abandon you," I said. "But the choice was simple. I could stay and try to fight the most powerful family in the Midwestern United States, or I could leave and spare you from their wrath. I wanted to call you, to let you know, to say goodbye…but they took me into custody, like they were their own police force. I was escorted to my apartment and allowed to pack one bag, then I was escorted to the airport."
Still nothing from Rae. No words. No sounds. Nothing to indicate she was there.
I risked glancing at her.
Rae hadn't moved. Her gaze stayed on me, but her expression was unreadable.
The swing's seat felt harder suddenly, and I shifted my body to find a more comfortable position. No luck with that. The discomfort originated inside me, not with the cushion under me or the wood beneath that.
At last, she lay her arms on the chair's arms and spoke. "That's what you think. You spared me."
"I'm not claiming to be a hero, but I did what I had to do to protect you." I bent forward, elbows on my knees, and stared at the porch floor. "Every day since, I've regretted not fighting for you, for us. But if I had…I don't know what the Bremner-Ashtons would've done. CeCe accused me of sexually harassing her. They brought her in just before the guards took me away. She gave a fantastic performance, crying and stammering. She said I seduced you and then I tried to do the same to her. What could I do? Leaving spared you."
Rae pursed her lips, one toe tapping on the porch floor. "You didn't spare me, Iain. They announced I'd gotten an A in your class strictly because I was putting out, so they changed my grade to an F. That left me one credit short of graduating. I was also expelled from Nackington. I tried to get into another college, any college, to finish my degree, but anyplace I applied to had to request my transcripts from Nackington, and they'd see the F in Celtic History. They'd want an explanation, and I couldn't give one. So they'd call Nackington and hear the whole sordid story. I gave up on college."
The full force of what she'd just said slammed into me. I couldn't speak, and the only part of me that moved was my eyes. I swiveled them to her, overwhelmed by a coldness that penetrated to the core of my being. It couldn't be true, but Rae wouldn't lie.
"Rae, I — " Unable to move, I flapped my jaw a few times. A tactic certain to make her swoon with desire for me. "They said if I — "
"You took the word of people who threw you out of the country."
Bloody eejit. She was right, and I was an ersehole of the first order. How could I explain why I'd fled without a fight? If she knew my family's history, she might not want to get tangled up in it. If I didn't tell her, she would never understand my actions. Either way, I'd lose her.
I ran a hand over my mouth and looked straight at Rae. "I shouldn't have believed Conrad and his minions, but I had…reasons for the way I behaved. It's complicated, and I'd rather not go into it just now. Believe me when I say I've regretted abandoning you every day of the last thirteen years, and I will never leave you again."
Her lips twitched downward, quivering faintly, but she expression remained defiant — her voice too. "It doesn't matter. I am never getting involved with you again, not the way you want."
"Why am I here, then? You've agreed to let me stay until Saturday next."
She stared at me, and I swore I could hear the engine of her mind grumbling as she struggled to form a response. Or she might've been grumbling softly at me.
Those beautiful eyes narrowed. "How did security get to your office so fast?"
"What?"
"You dropped me off at my apartment, which was five minutes from the campus. CeCe didn't go nuclear until she saw you kissing me goodbye, and she railed at me for a good ten minutes, ca
lling me a slut and bitch, before she stormed into her bedroom and slammed the door. I assume that's when she called her father to make her ridiculous claim that you'd sexually harassed her. I heard her shouting for another ten minutes, at least. It had to have been an hour before security would've gotten to your office."
Ah, the time gap. I'd hoped she wouldn't notice. Telling her why I'd been delayed would bring on more questions, and I doubted she would appreciate the answers.
Of course she noticed the discrepancy. Rae was too canny not to notice.
I laid my arm across the swing's back, running finger over the smooth wood. "I had errands to run."
"Errands? That's not good enough, Iain." She leaned forward, her razor-sharp gaze pinned to me. "Where were you?"
"Running errands," I said carefully, emphasizing each syllable. "Leave it, Rae. Please."
She scrutinized me for a long moment, then collapsed back against her chair. "Fine, have your secrets. Just don't expect me to trust you as long as you're keeping things from me."
"Have you told me all your secrets?"
A chagrined look flashed on her face but dissipated swiftly. "I told you everything related to the day that ruined my life. The rest is none of your business."
I tapped my finger on the swing. "Why don't you want me to meet your daughter? You were prepared to introduce her to the scunner who owns the taxi service."
"That was a test. I had a feeling he was only interested in sex, but I couldn't know for sure unless I gave him an opportunity to prove me wrong. He didn't."
My turn to fall silent and study her. Her arms rested on the chair's arms, but her fingers tapped in a restless rhythm. Though she frowned, her eyes evinced fear. I couldn't describe the look in her eyes. I sensed the fear in them.
"Listen," she said, "I tried dating after my daughter was born. But I realized pretty quickly my daughter's well-being had to be my number-one priority. I would not bring a parade of men into our home, only to have each of them leave. Kids don't understand why adults go away, and I would not put my kid through that over and over just so I could have a boyfriend. I tried a few more times over the years, going on dates while my daughter was in school. I lost interest. Protecting my child is my top priority, and that is why you will never meet her."
She might as well have stabbed me in the chest. The pang that radiated through me originated there, though it was a phantom pain. Rae didn't trust me at all. Her words told me as much. And yet, she let me sleep in her house, let me kiss her, let me handle her sheep. Not that my activities in the paddock had qualified as handling. The wee creatures had seemed to find it as humorous as Rae had.
I hadn't come this far, traveling thousands of miles and spending significant sums of money to find her, only to turn and run back home with my tail between my legs.
Once, I'd done that. Never again.
"All right," I said, scratching my jaw, "I won't ask about your daughter again or ask why you seem to have hidden every photograph of her. Since I'd rather not tell you all my secrets yet, I can't expect you to reveal everything to me. You know why I left before. You know I want to make it up to you and have a fresh start. But — " I pulled in a deep breath, not wanting to say the words but knowing I had to. " — if after nine more days you want me to go, I will. Give me, give us, these days to get reacquainted. I will tell you more, eventually. All I'm asking is for a bit more time."
She squished her lips into a tight pucker, then exhaled a long breath that deflated her shoulders and softened her expression. "Fine."
The tension in me sifted away too, and I relaxed into the swing. A change of subject seemed in order. "You'd forgotten Ben was leaving, hadn't you?"
"Yeah."
"I have you all to myself for nine days."
She rolled her eyes. "Ben is only here three days a week, anyway. I already knew I'd be alone with you for most of the time."
I smirked. "But now you'll have to restrain your lust for me for nine entire days and nights with no one else around to make you behave."
Her lips curved up into a faint smile. "You're confusing me with twenty-two-year-old Rae who salivated at the sight of you in a kilt. I'm a mature single mother these days, and men in skirts don't impress me anymore."
"A kilt is not a skirt." Damn if I hadn't sounded irritated. This new and improved version of Rae made me lose my grip on the calm demeanor I'd spent years perfecting. It wasn't an act, but I had needed practice to come to terms with my da's behavior and find an inner peace. Rae erased all my work with one word — skirt.
The cheeky lass knew what she was doing with that statement, and I adored her even more for it. Feisty, clever, determined Rae was utterly irresistible.
Her self-satisfied smile proved she'd done it on purpose. "I remember the time you came to class in a kilt, with those big old boots and that sky-blue dress shirt. You walked all the way across the campus dressed like that. Frat boys must've been harassing you the whole time, but the Unflappable Iain MacTaggart didn't care."
I scoffed. "Why should I give a fuck if acne-ridden eejits taunt me?"
"All the girls loved getting a glimpse of your legs."
Leaning forward, I met her gaze head-on. "I wore the kilt for you."
Her head jerked back, and she blinked rapidly. "What? You said it was a visual aid for your lecture on the clan systems of medieval Scotland."
I shook my head. "That's what I told the class. But I wore it for you, because you'd once mentioned you thought kilts were sexy. And that's how I know your skirt comment was nothing more than your attempt to make me angry."
"Why would I want to do that?"
"So I willnae try to seduce ye." I smiled when she rolled her eyes again. "Donnae worry. I wasn't planning to seduce you…tonight."
We gazed at each other for a moment, the heat between us evident in the glossy look in her eyes and the way she kept licking her lips.
Rae shifted her attention to the ever-darkening sky. Then, she leaped up from her chair, feigned a yawn, and said, "I'm exhausted. Good night, Iain, see you in the morning."
As if I'd let her get away with that.
She tried to breeze past me, but I slung an arm around her waist and hauled her down onto my lap. The lass wound up sideways across my thighs, her feet dangling. I tugged her closer, our faces centimeters apart, and her deep-blue eyes widened slightly.
Maybe I couldn't convince her to trust me yet, but I could give her one thing she'd complained about more than once.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Giving you what you've been wanting."
I plunged a hand into her hair, cradling her nape, drawing her head closer. She her hands on my chest but made no effort to pull away. There she is, my passionate lass. I took her mouth hard and fast, allowing no time for her to change her mind. She opened to me, welcoming me into the soft, slick heat of her mouth, moaning when I thrust my tongue deep. The sweet taste of her, the determined strokes of her tongue, the way her fingers clutched my shirt, all of it overpowered my good sense — if I'd ever had any of that — and I couldn't stop myself from delving deeper, taking more, gorging myself on the woman I'd longed for all these years. I wrapped both arms around her, crushing her lush body to me.
She latched her arms around my neck.
The feel of her body intoxicated me. Her breasts mounded against my chest. Her hair falling around my face and tickling my skin. Her soft palms at my nape, her fingers questing into my hair. And her erse, the way it pressed into my hardening cock.
With a hungry little moan, she wriggled and flailed one leg until she straddled me.
I groaned into her mouth, wrecked by the sensation of her hot cleft rubbing against my cock, with only a layer of denim and maybe a thin panties between our flesh. Years ago, I'd wanted her. Now, I craved her like a man who'd gone without food or water for weeks, and she was the sustenance I needed. To have her, to devour her, to brand her as mine…
Taking hold of her upper arms, I peeled her away from me.
Rae gazed at me with desire-heated eyes, unfocused. She blinked slowly. Her kiss-swollen lips had turned a luscious shade of dusky pink, and a faint flush tinted her cheeks. She breathed hard, her breasts rising and falling, the rigid nipples jutting through her bra and shirt.
I spread a palm over her cheek, brushing my thumb across her chin. "That's enough for tonight."
"Enough?" she said, her voice a husky whisper. She shut her eyes briefly, taking a slow breath and exhaling it between her puckered lips. When she looked at me again, her gaze had cleared. "You're right. That was enough. I don't want you getting the wrong impression and thinking I'll hop into bed with you."
A smile tightened my lips, but I managed to keep it subdued. "That's right, sunshine. Donnae let me have the wrong idea after you glued your body to mine and rubbed yourself on my cock."
She tried to frown, but it was ineffectual. "Sex is a bad idea."
"You keep saying that, but you keep looking at me like you want — "
Rae sealed two fingers over my lips. "Stop talking. Say good night and leave it at that, before you ruin this by getting cocky."
I rocked my hips up and tipped hers forward, letting her feel how cocky I was.
She hissed in a breath. "Honestly, Iain."
"Afraid you'll need to speak a complete sentence, or I might misunderstand." I slid my hands up her hips to her waist. "Was that 'honestly, Iain, please make love to me sweetly' or 'honestly, Iain, please fuck me hard right here on the swing'? Need to be sure I'm giving you what you want."
"What I want," she said, giving my chest a light slap, "is for you to stop being obsessed with sex."
"It's not me that's obsessed, it's you." I cradled her ass in my hands and stood, carrying her with me, and set her down on her feet. My hands lingered on her rump. "You're the one who begged for a deep kiss."
Her mouth opened and closed — twice.